Mario and Luigi and Bowser
by Walkazo
Summary: A novelization of "Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story". When Fawful tricks Bowser into sucking Mario, Luigi and Peach into his hammerspace, it falls to an unproven young Star to keep everyone alive and unaware of how much danger they're really in as they struggle to prevent a powerful evil from engulfing the world in darkness.
1. The Test

**Disclaimer****: I don't own the **_**Mario**_** series, and I don't even own the overall plot and most of the dialogue: it comes directly from **_**Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story**_**.**

**Author's Notes****: There were many things I loved about **_**Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story**_** – Bowser, Fawful, reading between the lines of the dialogue… However, there was one thing I really hated: the wacky biology. Besides **_**Mario**_**, my other love is zoology, so the canonization of Bowser's internal plumbing as they're depicted in this game made me cringe. Before it came out, I decided that in my fanon, it would be nothing but a big hallucination, even the block people, and I would write a parody retelling of it. But once I actually played the game, I liked it too much to simply hand-wave everything, and while I still wanted to nix the pseudoscience, I decided to do so in a way that made the story **_**more**_** serious, not less. And that brings us to this fic: a retelling of **_**M&L3**_** using as much of the actual dialogue as possible (as I played through the game, I copied it all down, and I've also been using LuckySevenDX's YouTube "Let's Plays" to double-check stuff as I write), but also putting new spins and insight into the events, and also straining out the more RPGish elements in the name of narrative. I hope you like it!**

Mario & Luigi … and Bowser

_Today is the day… of win!_

_Rururururu._

_Cackletta, are you hearing me?_

_Have you the seeing of what Fawful is done?_

_A plan of greatness, like the tuna that eats the salty sardines and grows HUGE. After you had the defeat, I have been collecting the salty beans. My plan was the waiting. Time was biding. Beans. Many beans were accumulate. The plan takes the long time, but now it has no hunger. It has the nourishment. Now it is huge like the tuna fishy of sandwiches. The plan, it is greatness in all ways! It is the tuna of doom for the Mushroom Kingdom! Rurururururu!_

_Cackletta, be watching me._

_Today, Fawful has the ruling of the world._

Chapter 1: The Test

There are three kinds of Stars that watch over the Mushroom World. There's the regular Stars – the ones that start out as Star Kids and become Stars and grant the wishes of the kind-hearted mortals below. Some Stars go on to greatness – they become Star Spirits, oversee the wish-granting, and keep order amongst the Stars. There are the Stars that have fallen to the land, and grant powers to those that find them and use them. These "Starmen" are born in the Star World like the rest of them, but they do not think and feel like other Stars – they're not men at all, really. Opposite to them are the last kind of Star – the Star Sprites, who do not grant wishes, but who tend to the more difficult matters of the heavens and the world below. They are the guardians who can take on different forms and fight, solve puzzles and even live amongst the mortals. The wisest among them are called Sages.

Just as the Star Kids hope to rise to the rank of Star Spirits, so too do the Star Sprites dream of becoming Star Sages. But it is not an easy task. If great powers are bestowed upon the wrong being, it could prove disastrous, and so aspiring Sprites must prove themselves before they can even be considered for Sagehood. Most Sprites are never even offered the opportunity, for ordeals that could truly show a worthy heart are few and far between, even in the Mushroom World. Most Sprites don't seriously think their calling will ever come, and simply study and work hard for the sake of doing a good job of keeping things running smoothly.

Starlow certainly never thought she'd be tested. When her mentor Wisdurm asked her to help the Mushroom Kingdom with a nasty plague, she didn't once suspect that something bigger was about to unfold. She just figured she was given the Blorbs case because she had a good rapport with Wisdurm – the Sage liked her spunk, and appreciated how hard a researcher she was. A bookish girl, Starlow read long into the night looking for a way to cure the Blorbs, but she didn't have much luck, and drifted off into an uneasy sleep about swollen Toads, fire, and red, glowing eyes in the dark.

"You're going to be laaaaaate."

Starlow jerked awake at Wisdurm's voice. "Huh? Wha-?"

"The meeting's about the start down in Peach's Caaaaastle," said the sage. She was in her butterfly form, as always. Starlow couldn't even remember back to a time when Wisdurm still looked like a Star Sprite: she had found her true form decades ago. Most Sages did, sooner or later, be they animals, one of the anthropomorphic races, or even inanimate objects. Another Sage had once come back from an adventure with Mario with a new form as a wooden Geno doll, even adapting it over his given name. Wisdurm had a true name as well, but she wouldn't tell Starlow what it was: she said it was an ugly name. Starlow couldn't imagine changing her name or looking like anything but what she always looked like – she wouldn't even know what to do as a _Star_, without her sprite's feet or her flashing star-shaped headpiece…

Wisdurm frowned: Starlow was getting lost in her thoughts again. She had a long night, so it was understandable, but she really _did_ need to come back down to earth. Literally. "Yoooou're. Gooooing. Toooo. Beeee. Laaaaate." She repeated.

This time, it clicked.

"LATE!" yelped Starlow, shooting into the air. "Oh, what an awful first impression! And I was so looking forward to meeting Peach and Mario and Luigi… Why didn't you wake me up earlier!?" she snarled.

Wisdurm blinked.

Realizing what she had done, Starlow's face paled. "I- I mean- I didn't mean it, Madam Wisdurm. I'm so sorry!"

Wisdurm laughed. "Don't worry about iiiiit. But other Sages might not take so kindly to being snapped at, so you might wanna watch your temper a liiiiiittle."

Starlow sighed. "I guess. I doubt I'll have to worry about bumping into any Sages while I'm down there, but I suppose I should play nice with the surface-dwellers too."

"Princess Peach shouldn't give you any trouble anywaaaaay. Even if you _aaaare_ late…"

Starlow yelped again. "Late! Oh no! How could I forget I'm in a hurry! Again! Why are you distracting me!? Argh, I'll never get there in time now!"

"Good luuuuck!" Wisdurm laughed as Starlow zoomed past the butterfly and headed for the nearest Star Road back down to the surface. But as her pupil disappeared around the corner, Wisdurm's face grew somber. Soon, being late would be the least of Starlow's concerns, but it was the only way. Her test had begun, and the fate of the world now rested with her, Mario, Luigi… and Bowser.


	2. The Blorbs

Chapter 2: The Blorbs

"I call this emergency meeting to order!" called Peach as she took her place behind the podium. The Toads seated at the conference table before her fell silent as she activated the projector behind her and began narrating the sequence of images that came up. "As we all know, a few days ago, a horrific new malady appeared. Toadbert here says it's called 'The Blorbs', based on a somewhat similar allergic reaction to a certain kind of vegetable, isn't that right? Toads swell up into giant balls and can't do anything but roll around – and they can't even control that. It's truly awful. It comes without warning and we don't know how to prevent it. It seemed to originate around Toad Town, and is confined to the immediate area. As a precaution, we have quarantined all of Western Mushroom Kingdom – from here to Sky Land, and we're recommending that no one travels past Dimble Wood unless they have to."

"Oh! How absolutely wretched… Such a thing has never happened in the history of the kingdom!" bemoaned Toadsworth, standing to Peach's right.

"Soon the entire Mushroom Kingdom will get the Blorbs…" mused Toad, who sat nearest to Toadsworth on the left arm of the horseshoe-shaped conference table. "We've gotta find the cause and get this place back to normal!"

"Yeah, obviously, but we've never dealt with something like this! I have absolutely no idea what to do! I suggest we panic!" cried the Toad sitting next to a pink-spotted Toad woman in a nurse's uniform.

"Pull yourself together, man!" snapped the Toad sitting across from him on the other arm of the table. "We have to do SOMETHING! My son… He's also… He's also got the Blorbs!"

As the overwhelmed Toad burst into tears, Toadsworth turned to Peach. "Princess! We still await…"

"Yes…" Peach turned to face him, flicking her hair back as she spoke, her voice heavy. "We've sent word to the Star Sprites for help, but… We've gotten no response."

"PARDON ME!"

Toadsworth and Peach turned to see something quickly floating into view at the end of the hallway.

"Ah, glorious! I daresay our Star Sprite has arrived!" Toadsworth smiled with relief.

"Sorry I'm late! This castle's huge!" lied Starlow as she flew over the end of the conference table and came to a stop between its two arms, hovered in front of Peach.

Toadsworth blinked in confusion. This girl wasn't a Star – she had a small star floating above her head, yes, but she was just a floating ball. And she had _feet_. He had never seen a Star Sprite in person, and he had actually suggested they tried contacting the Star Spirits, but Peach had picked up some knowledge of the workings of the Star World from her journey with Geno, and insisted that the Star Sprites were the ones that were supposed to help with matters like the Blorbs. Still, he had been expecting the Star Sprite to, well, be a _Star_, and worried that perhaps help hadn't arrived after all, he turned to Peach, his need for an explanation momentarily overcoming his drive to be polite at all times. "Princess… This thing is…what?"

"Nice to meet you!" Said Starlow pointedly, struggling to remember Wisdurm's advice and not bite the old codger's head off for calling her a 'thing'. "I'm Starlow! Peach sent word of trouble in the Mushroom Kingdom… So, as a representative of the Star Sprites, here I am!" She turned and beamed at the gathered Toads. "HELLO YELLO!"

Toadsworth's face immediately brightened. "Mercy! Such pep! Such verve! Such unswerving confidence! So you'll be able to simply cure the Blorbs, then! Correct?"

Starlow turned back to him, her own face falling. "Oh… Uh… Well… Not so much. As she spoke, Starlow floated over to a vacant seat in the conference table, beside Toad. "Us Star Sprites, we're more about guidance, really. I mean, we have some powers, but not even a Star _Sage_ could just zap away an entire plague, much less little ol' me. I can protect people and heal minor ailments, but this is far beyond my capabilities…" The star on her head pulsated with embarrassment. First she was late and now she was letting them down – so embarrassing.

"Hrm… If this is even beyond the power of a Star Sprite…" frowned Toadsworth.

"Well, I did some research on similar afflictions," added Starlow, hoping to bring _something_ to the meeting. "But… The Blorbs is in a class of its own. It seems to be incurable… If we could just find a cause, we'd have a place to start…"

"The medical staff did what we could to ease the swelling…" said the pink-spotted Toad nurse sitting across from Toad. "But as far as we can tell, we can't reverse the effects…"

"You docs gotta do SOMETHING! This is a national emergency!" cried the Toad at the end of the table, jumping up for emphasis.

"Thanks for the news flash! Obviously we want to help!" snapped the nurse, turning to face him with a jump of her own.

As the two continued jumping and shouting, Starlow turned to Toad. "Psst… Who is that over there?"

"Dr. Toadley's intern."

"Dr. Toadley?"

"He's a really famous doctor. He knows EVERYTHING. He couldn't make it to today's meeting, so his intern is here," explained Toad.

"Hmm…" Starlow surveyed the arguing Toads. The doctor bring too busy to attend the meeting about the single most devastating disease to hit Toad Town did not bode well.

With an impatient snort, the nurse waved off the other Toad's chattering. "Well, I have many patients, so you'll have to excuse me." With that, she turned and stormed out of the room. She had better things to do than argue with an ignorant bureaucrat: there were Toads that needed her, and even if she didn't know how she could help them, she had to try.

Toadsworth sighed. "Blast… Doctors are stumped… The Star Sprite is helpless… To whom might we turn?"

"Look, I'm really sorry, OK?" said Starlow earnestly. "There are some things that even a Star Sprite can't do!" She sighed: this wasn't going well at all. She wished she had studied harder instead of nodding off. What would Wisdurm say? Would she even be willing to come down and fix this mess for Starlow with her Sage Powers? Starlow didn't know, and her face hardened. "I guess we just give up, huh?"

Toadsworth scowled at the seemingly-resentful Star Sprite. "Hmph! How insolent!"

"Both of you… Calm down," commanded Peach.

"Yeah, what's wrong with you, Toadsworth?!" admonished Toadbert, the bespectacled Toad with a white-spotted blue cap sitting across from Starlow. "There IS someone we can count on, by boogity!"

Toadsworth gasped. How could he have forgotten? "Oh! Quite right! Hope endures!"

Toadbert looked around. "So uh… What's up? They're not here yet? The bros…"

But at that moment, Mario and Luigi hurried into view at the end of the hall, stopping at the foot of the conference table.

Toadsworth hopped in excitement. "Ah! Master Mario! And Master Luigi! We've awaited your arrival! Let us resume the meeting."

Mario and Luigi nodded, but before anything more could be said, another Toad ran into the room. "Princess! We just got word that Bowser's flying castle was seen crossing the Western border. He went over the desert, so we're not sure where exactly he's heading."

Peach sighed. "Typical Bowser – choosing the worst time to attack."

"I can take care of it," volunteered Toad. In response to Peach, Mario and Luigis' quizzical looks, he elaborated. "I mean, I'm not gonna take him, but I can monitor the situation and direct the search parties to see if we can figure out where he's gonna land his castle this time. That way, Mario and Luigi can stay here in the meeting for now, instead of trying to head off someone whose whereabouts we don't even know!"

"Good thinking," smiled Peach. "Let us know as soon as you find anything."

"Right-o!" saluted Toad, scurrying away with the messenger Toad.

Sighing with relief about not having to hunt down Bowser, Luigi took Toad's vacated seat on the table. Like Starlow, he hadn't had a good night's sleep – his own dreams plagued with nightmares about catching the Blorbs – and wasn't in a mood for an early-morning boss battle. He was already yawning as Mario settled himself across from him in the nurse's old spot.

Beside Mario, Toadbert pulled out a purple clipboard. "As the princess mentioned earlier, we actually _have_ seen this sort of swelling reaction before, to Blorb Sprouts."

Starlow nodded. "Yeah, I found that info too. They're from the Beanbean Kingdom. But those allergic reactions were temporary."

"And there were ways to speed the healing along, but the doctors have tried them all. It's not an allergic reaction, it's a full-on disease."

"So it's just superficially similar – as I suspected. It's probably a virus," mused Starlow.

"Not so fast!" said Toadbert with unnecessary dramatic flare that even managed to rouse Luigi, who had been slowly nodding off. "Now then, going on what little information we've unearthed… The cause MAY be a mushroom sold by a local merchant."

"Oh dear! A mushroom?" gasped Peach. "You mean to tell me that a mushroom causes the Blorbs?"

"Well, yeah, we interviewed all the Blorbed Toads we could… And they all said they'd bought Blorb Mushrooms."

"Blorb Mushrooms? Perplexing… Not a local variety, of that I'm quite sure." Toadsworth had never heard of such a species, but given their name, he suspected they were from the Beanbean Kingdom like the Blorb Sprouts. "What sort of rapscallion would sell such a thing?"

Toadbert put his clipboard away as he finished up his report. "Well, according to one witness, it was a fellow in a cape… All signs point to the suspect not being from this kingdom."

_Probably from the Beanbean Kingdom_, thought Starlow. But like Toadsworth, she had never heard of a Blorb Mushroom – and she had been looking up all uses of the word 'Blorb' the night before. She had a feeling that it wasn't a real mushroom at all, but there was only one way to be sure. "Well… Whoever he is, he's our only lead. So it's decided! Let's go find him!"

Toadsworth hopped in agreement. "Master Mario! Master Luigi! Your hour is at hand! Go forth and stomp this fellow as if he were Bowser!"

Mario jumped. "Yeah!"

"Zzz," snored Luigi, having nodded off completely. But before anyone could wake him up, another voice echoed in the hallway.

"GWAHAHA! Did someone just page the king of awesome?"

As Bowser stomped into view from the shadowy hallway beyond the conference room, the Toads scattered and Mario cried out in surprise.

"PEACH!" roared Bowser, surveying the near-abandoned conference room. "So I'm an outcast, huh?! What'd I do to deserve this?!" He smashed through the end of the table and stalked forward until he was parallel to a battle-ready Mario and the still-sleeping Luigi, his focus still on Peach.

"What are you doing here?! We're in an important meeting! The kingdom's in danger!" she admonished, eyeing Bowser coldly.

The Koopa King wasn't fazed. "Gee, PARDON ME! Guess what? I live here, Your Royal Genius! I've got as much right to be in this meeting as anyone! I mean, right? Help me out here! Toadsworth! Back me up!"

Toadsworth was taken aback from being addressed by Bowser in such a manner. "That… Erm… That's… Well…"

"Don't be ridiculous!" snapped Starlow, floating up beside Peach's podium. She knew Geno and Bowser had been allies back in the day, and he helped repair the Star Road above the Eastern Mushroom Kingdom, thus restored the Star World's abilities to grant wishes once again, but she was no fan of the Dragon-Koopa. One or two cases of cooperation didn't make up for the years of trouble he had caused the good people of the Mushroom Kingdom; it didn't make up for the fact he would be more than happy to murder Mario and Luigi, and do who knows that to Peach. He was probably just here to kidnap Peach again – striking when the kingdom was weak. He had his own Koopa Kingdom and no Toad citizens to worry about: even if he _did_ care about his neighbours, it was only because he _wanted_ the Mushroom Kingdom to be in his possession. The fact that he had the gall to even refer to it as being _his_ home just hit a nerve in Starlow. "You have no right to be here!" she snarled, losing all composure. "Get out!"

She should have kept Wisdurm's warning in mind, because Bowser totally lost it as well, and blasted a fireball at Starlow and Peach. In a single bound, Mario had pushed Peach out of the way, and Starlow dodged as well.

"CRUD!" spat Bowser, burning the vacated podium and the projection screen behind it to a crisp. Mario leapt in front of him, ready to go. "MAAARIO!" roared Bowser. "Are you seriously trying to start with me again?! I hear about this big meeting, and I'm all ready to act nice… But man, the second I see your face, Mr. Nice Bowser is GONE. Yeah, forget your dumb meeting! I'll pummel you and grab Peach!"

_Knew it_, sneered Starlow from the sidelines as Mario and Bowser dived at each other.

"Starlow," whispered Peach, stepping beside the Star Sprite. "We don't have time for this. Can you help me weaken Bowser so that Mario can finish him off quickly?"

Starlow grinned. She was a fighter at heart and not being able to do anything about the Blorbs had been eating at her all morning – but this was right up her ally. "With pleasure!"

While Luigi continued to sleep, Bowser blasted fireballs at Mario, who dodged with jumps and managed to land a few stomps as well. "Outta the way!" barked Bowser when Toadsworth got between him and Mario at one point, causing the elderly Toad to scurry away. Bowser loved it when they scurried, but something about the fight wasn't quite right. His fireblasts seemed smaller, and he was really having to force them out. Even moving was hard, like all his joints were seizing up on him.

"Very good, Master Mario! This gargantuan lout fazes you not at all!" cheered Toadsworth after Mario landed a particularly nasty foot-stomp on Bowser's brow.

"Shut up! I'll burn you, too, Blabby!" snarled Bowser, but today his bark was worse than his bite. The fireball he sent Toadsworth's way missed by a mile, and merely opened him up to another boot in the face. Soon, Bowser fell to the floor. "No," he gurgled. "What…happened… Where are my skills? That was not my 'A' game… I mean, I've lost before, but not THAT easily…"

"Yes! It was my star power and Peach's wish power! It weakened you, didn't it?!" crowed Starlow as pink energy flashed above Bowser's sprawled form.

"Whuh… What…" he moaned as the magic clouded his mind.

"All right! Peach! Let's clean up this mess!" said Starlow unsympathetically. Peach extended her arm and pointed a finger at Bowser. The air whipped around her as she channeled Starlow's power and wished for Bowser to rise from the floor. She waved her arm, and Bowser was sent flying, smashing through the ceiling and careening out of sight.

"Noooo!" screamed Bowser, but his voice had soon faded into the distance.

Peach winced at the hole she had just put in her own castle. She wasn't used to wielding that kind of power and was relieved when Starlow broke their connection. She walked up to Mario with a smile, not one to take credit for her work. "Thank you Mario! You've saved me once again. Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek like she always does and Mario rubbed the back of his head sheepishly – like _he _always does. If it wasn't for the Blorbs, it could have been a normal day for the Mushroom Kingdom.


	3. Luck

Chapter 3: Luck

"Hey! Hey! Wake Up!"

At the sound of Kamek's voice, Bowser groaned and pushed himself to his feet. He shook his head to try and clear out the headache, but the spells Kamek had been casting on his comatose king were doing the healing for him.

"That oughta fix you up," said Kamek.

Bowser growled. The day had not gotten off to a good start, to say the least. He thought he had managed to escape detection by flying his castle over the desert – it seemed like he had gotten off cleanly when they landed in the volcanic region of Sky Land without a hostile (or more likely, scared silly) Toad landing party waiting for them. The underground path he was having built between that region and Toad Town was still under construction, so he had been stuck using the Clown Car to come over, but Kamek had used an invisibility spell when they got near the castle, and it worked like a charm. He only had Kamek drop it when they got to the meeting in the conference room – and then he even dispatched his trusty right-hand man as a sign of good faith to Peach. Yeah, that worked out real well. "Those guys make me so MAD! Gah! It does NOT end like this! I'm going back to that castle and kidnapping Peach for real!"

Kamek rolled his eyes behind his glasses. He had _warned_ Bowser not to go in alone. "Unless… Mario's there, in which case he'll once again kick-"

"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" bellowed Bowser, blasting the trees in front of him with his firebreath. "Just thinking about it makes me RAGE!"

"Whoa… Chill out…" snorted Kamek, pulling out his broom. When Bowser went blasting off again, Kamek hadn't had time to retrieve the Clown Car – it was all he could do to follow Bowser and see where he landed. Now that he was revived, Kamek could afford to go and retrieve his transportation.

"I'll chill nothing!" called Bowser as Kamek flew off. "I'm going to Peach's Castle right now!" Then a thought occurred to Bowser and he looked around. He was in a dense, misty forest. "Wait, where am I, anyway?" he mused aloud, annoyed that Kamek had taken off without even saying where they were. He figured they were in the area southwest of Toad Town – Peach wasn't powerful enough to send him much farther. Even if she _was_ juiced up by that annoying yellow thing.

With nothing else to do, Bowser headed off along a path through the trees. Punching boulders and burning trees that got in his way. Kamek flew over a couple times, having decided that keeping an eye on Bowser was probably smarter than leaving him alone. They were in walking distance of Toad Town, and while it'd take a while, Kamek figured giving Bowser some time to cool off and recharge his strength would be better than flying back into another pointless fray.

After turning one more corner, Bowser thought he saw Kamek again – but the figure had grey robes and ran away as soon as it saw Bowser. _Yeah, you better run_, he thought to himself. It was probably just some Toad hermit – the worst kind of Toad, in Bowser's opinion. Except for the Toad Retainers – they were so annoying. And Toadsworth and the other the council members, and the useless door guards, and-

"A WINNER IS YOU!"

"What?" Bowser looked up to see a Mushroom Stand off to the side. Usually shopkeeps tried their hardest to keep him from noticing them (they were as annoying as counselors, now that Bower thought about it), and his curiosity was piqued. He walked up to the stand – it was the little grey dude again. "Win what?!"

"JACKPOTTING!" announced the figure.

"Your Burliness! What's going on?!" demanded Kamek, landing in the clearing and running up beside Bowser.

"The customer has luck!" chirped the shopkeeper, the dim light of the forest glinting off his swirling glasses. "And with luckiness comes a tasty Lucky Shroom!"

"A Lucky Shroom?" Bowser stepped closer to take a look, Kamek approaching beside him. But while Bowser was peering at the exotic mushroom held by the cloaked shopkeeper in his little black-gloved mitts, the Magikoopa's eyes were trained on the figure itself. Something wasn't right. Bowser was also picking up some bad vibes: there was something about the figure's high, grating voice that was familiar. "I didn't even buy anything! What's this about jackpotting?!" Bowser growled, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Do not have worries for details!" reassured the shopkeeper. "No, do not have the worries! Have the wonderful Lucky Shroom of tastiness instead! Scoff this down and your luck will power up to super luck! Luck enough to beat Mario!"

Bowser's face brightened. "Beat Mario?! Seriously?!"

"I say to you YES! With every attack, lucky hits will shower in a happy waterfall! You will have such fury! Your strongest enemies will fold like napkins who are crying!"

Bowser was clearly interested, but alarm bells were going off in Kamek's head. Yeah, Bowser's was a fairly famous face, but the shopkeeper had clearly known the exact right thing to say to break through Bowser's better judgment. He backed away. "Your Beefiness! Dude is WEIRD. Don't eat that thing, seriously," cautioned Kamek. He knew there was no use in trying to persuade Bowser or even reason with him when Mario was concerned, but he was hoping maybe a more colloquial, informal approach might work better.

But it was no use. "What, didn't you hear him? It'll help me beat Mario! Duh!" He turned away from his advisor and rushed up to the stand. "You! Weirdo! Gimme that Lucky Shroom!"

The shopkeeper's grin widened. _Hook, line, and Sinking._ But he was careful to keep his sinister thoughts to himself as he handed Bowser the Lucky Mushroom. "Oh yes, of course! ENJOY THE EATING!"

Bowser grabbed the Mushroom without so much as a 'thank you' and walked back towards the path leading out of the clearing, looking down at his spoils. It was a weird mushroom to say the least: its stalk was green, its eye spots were closed, and its cap was yellow with purple spots. But Bowser was no mushroom expert, and he'd take what he'd get.

Kamek frowned up at his king as they walked, racking his brain for a way to talk the Dragon-Koopa out of eating the 'shroom. Bowser paused, and Kamek looked at him hopefully – maybe he was reconsidering on his own. Suddenly Bowser stuffed the Lucky Mushroom in his mouth, Kamek's eyed widened behind his glasses – he had thought Bowser would at least wait until they got back to Peach's Castle before eating it. He had half a mind to blast Bowser in the stomach and get him to spit out the mushroom before it was too late, but before he could react, Bowser had swallowed the vile thing.

Almost immediately, Bowser regretted his actions as a wave of nausea washed over him. He held his hands to his snout. "Hurf! BUUURF?!"

The blood drained from Kamek's face as Bowser's head reddened. "What's wrong?! Your Queasiness! I told you not to snack on that thing! Hey! You creepy little weasel! What did you feed Bowser?!" But when Kamek rounded on the shopkeeper, the figure was no longer behind the counter, but standing atop a floating platform and cackling.

"Rurururu!" He reached up and lowered his hood as he laughed, revealing the face of a young Beanish man. He turned the grey cloak inside-out into a red cape and sneered at the Koopas. "Such easiness! So easy it gives me the gleeful chortles. I have such strategy! And now for the leaving. You are having a date with Peach's Castle!"

Kamek gasped. He recognized the boy from descriptions he had heard from Bowser – it was Fawful, the former toady of the Beanish witch Cackletta. The little freak had used Bowser as a vessel for his master's soul, and he had done something to the Koopa King once more. Fawful zoomed away and Kamek pulled out his broom to give chase, when suddenly Bowser opened his mouth and roared.

"HAAAARG"

But instead of spewing out the Lucky Mushroom and the rest of his stomach contents, Bowser was inhaling. Kamek was barely able to escape the whirlwind as it sucked all manner of vegetation and rubble into Bowser's mouth. Even some broken pipes flew into his maw, seeming to shrink as they went, but looking back over his shoulder, Kamek could sense that something far worse was happening. Bowser's hammerspace magic was out of control – the mushroom had done something to his energy itself, not just his digestive system. Kamek knew there was nothing he could do now, and raced back to Bowser's flying castle. He had books there – he could look something up and get more Magikoopas to help him. He pulled out his crystal ball as he went – he had to warn Kammy and tell her to close the Dark Land borders and be on high alert. He just knew that Fawful was up to something far worse than poisoning Bowser's energy – the malady affecting the Toads was likely his doing as well. And it wasn't just to side-track Mario and Luigi, no, he had been _waiting_ for Bowser. It was a trap. And it worked.


	4. The Plan

**A/N****: At this point in time, the story is about halfway done, but **_**M&L:BIS**_**'s script is surprisingly long and I don't get much time to write, so it could be a while before it's finished. So, rather than sitting on the story until it's completed, or posting half now and taking months between every subsequent update, I figured I'd start **_**gradually**_** dolling it out. The desire to stay ahead of the updates will keep a fire under my butt to keep writing at every little chance I **_**do**_** get, and in the meantime, there's enough of a buffer between what I'm proofreading and posting and where I'm at in the writing to let me stick to a nice, weekly update schedule for the next couple months. For now, I hope you liked this first group of chapters, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story over the next little while!**

Chapter 4: The Plan

"Well, that's one way to break up a meeting…" said Toadsworth, looking around the scorched and rubble-filled conference room.

"Seems like it's pretty much adjourned, by boogity…" said Toadbert, the only Toad who had returned after fleeing from Bowser. "Should we cancel it?"

"Hrm… Young man, we're facing a national emergency. If we cancel the meeting nothing will get solved," argued Toadsworth.

"Absolutely," agreed Peach. "The Blorbs are more pressing than Bowser. The meeting must go on!"

"Mercy! You ARE the princess!" said Toadsworth approvingly. "Take heed, gentlemen and star! That's how one does things! But we surely can't use this ravaged room anymore… Shall we continue someplace a touch less demolished?"

As he head the way out of the room, a figure slouched into view in the archway at the end of the hall. Before anyone could get a good luck a whirlwind ripped through the room and Toadsworth was lifted off his feet. He didn't even have time to shout as he was sucked forward and disappeared. The others cried out as Bowser stumbled forward, his mouth still open and the vortex still active. "HWAAAAAARF!" he gagged as one by one, Mario, Peach, Starlow and Toadbert were sucked down his throat and merged with his hammerspace. "HWAAAAAARF!" he retched as he staggered into the room, catching sight of Luigi asleep against the table. "HWAAAAAARF!" he chocked as the sucking power activated again.

"Waaa!" cried Luigi, waking with a start. "Help!" he cried as he struggled against the wind. Groaning with effort, he made swimming motions in the air, but it was no use, and he screamed out again as he lost the fight and tumbled into Bowser's yawning mouth.

"GWAHAHA!" laughed Bowser deliriously. "Gwa ha ha…ah...ha…haaf…" with a thud he collapsed onto the conference room floor once again.

"I HAVE VICTORY!" crowed Fawful, standing in the middle of the room and looking over at Bowser. The Bean had used one of his flying saucers to safely carry Bowser back to Peach's Castle, using him to suck up any resistance between the door and the conference room (a paltry four Toads). With Mario, Luigi and Peach gone, the castle was his – and so was the kingdom, even though they didn't know it. "Easy as bread sandwiches!" he cackled. "And now for the proceeding with the plan I have planned!" He turned back to the hallway. "Midbus! Come! Fawful calls you!"

"Of course… Lord Fawful…" responded Midbus, obediently walking up to his master. Years ago, Cackletta had found a feral Bean wandering in the woods and trained him to be her loyal toady, and Fawful had proudly carried on the cycle with Midbus. He wasn't the smartest creature, but he was powerful and armed with the tusks of a pig, the horns of a bull and the shell of an armadillo – with spikes to boot, and a wicked sense of smell. Fawful didn't know what species he was – he had found him lurking in the deep woods west of Toad Town near the Beanbean Kingdom border, where no one dared to venture, including zoologists. But Fawful didn't need to know what Midbus was – all he knew was that he was a loyal and powerful minion. The brawn to Fawful's brains, and together, they would conquer the world.

"Midbus, be disposing of the fink-rat Bowser. His role is having the complete."

"Yes, Lord Fawful. Where should Bowser get dumped?"

"I am not care, he will have the death soon," shrugged Fawful. But then a thought occurred to him. It would take time for Bowser's energy to fatally destabilize and erase both him and all the being he had absorbed, and until that point, if Fawful wanted, he could remove anyone that Bowser had inhaled. More specifically, he could remove Peach – she had proven useful for Cackletta, so maybe her role would be reprised for Fawful's plan. It was easier keeping her safely dormant within Bowser for now, rather than as a prisoner who could escape, or move others to free her. Yes, he would leave her in Bowser as long as he could – but that means he had to keep Bowser on hand.

"Waiting," he said, turning back to Midbus, who was using a remote to call over some Fawfulcopters to carry Bowser away. "Be depositing him in Cape of Caviness. If we are needing him again, that is a place of ease to retrieve him from." But at the same time, it is a safe distance away from Fawful's base of operations, so in case something went sideways, at least Bowser wouldn't be awakening in their midst – where he could cause some damage.

"Cavi Cape, understood," said Midbus. "You copters, go there now. Bowser will sleep in Cavi Cape."

Fawful watched as the UFOs picked up the unconscious Dragon-Koopa and carried him out through the convenient hole in the roof. "Rurururu, if there was a Lucky Shroom of non-hoaxiness, I would be the one who had the eating of it. Everything is coming up win."

Midbus shook his head. "Not luck, Lord Fawful. Genius. The plan of Lord Fawful is genius. We are winning because of the genius plan."

"Righting!" agreed Fawful. "I was having the modesty, but this is silliness. Now is not the time for silliness. I must be securing the palace. A forcefield I must do to keep the Toad pests away, like rings of salt around the garden plant. The plant of triumph will not be swarmed with sluggy Toads."

"Muh muh muh! If any Toads get by, they will be squished like slugs."

"Yes, but I will have the squishing, Midbus. You are going to Bowser's Castle now, in the Land of Sky by the volcanoes," ordered Fawful. Little did Kamek know, but Fawful had remotely tracked him back to the flying castle with a special stealth Fawfulcopter. He was no fool: he knew not to leave behind any loose ends. "Bowser's toady is the knowing of the Vacuum Mushroom effects: we must do the stoppage before he makes headaches for our plan. Many minions will have the surrender fast. Some will want to have the joining with us, others will need the Fawfulization. Have the quick capture of minions who are loyal to Bowser and cannot be mind-changed. Bringing the Koopa wizards back here: Bowser's toady is of them. The rest can have the scattering across the land: I have no care about those minions."

"Yes, Lord Fawful." With that, Midbus leapt onto Fawful's flying platform and flew away through the roof, followed by a fleet of Fawfulcopters. The little Bean would have liked to watch the destruction that was soon to follow at Bowser's Castle, but he wasn't going to leave Mushroom Castle until it was secure. It was his home, after all. His base of operations. He had lived beneath it for some time now, collecting beans and learning of the dark secrets buried beneath Toad Town. Soon, they wouldn't be a secret anymore, and then, none would oppose Fawful. Everyone would be as loyal as Midbus, or as doomed as Bowser.

He chuckled to himself as he reached the front gates. There were still no Toads in sight. He knew there were more in the castle, but they would be easily captured, and in the meantime, he'd simply prevent more from coming over. With a push of his remote, more UFOs flew into sight, these ones modified to form a barrier. They secured themselves on either side of the land bridge leading across the moat, and with a flash, bolts of green electricity connected them, blocking the route to the castle. Flying things could still get across, but the castle would be crawling with robots soon enough so that didn't worry Fawful. Nothing worried Fawful at this point, but he had learned the hard way to take precautions no matter what.

Cackletta would be proud.


	5. Help

Chapter 5: Help

"_Aaaaahhhhhh!_"

Starlow's head felt like it was going to explode. Her body felt like it was being stabbed with a thousand knives. Her energy itself was ripping itself apart. If she hadn't been a Star, she knew she wouldn't be able to form a coherent thought against the onslaught of pain, but with the sliver of sanity she had left, she pushed through. Her power was merged with someone else's power, and though it hadn't been her choice, as it had been when she had worked together with Peach less than an hour ago, she knew she could deal. She just had to focus on herself. On her sense of self. She was Starlow. Starlow was her. She was Starlow. Starlow. STARLOW!

With a gasp she felt the pain subside. She was still connected to the other person, but she was whole again. But this wasn't a normal connection. It was stronger. And the other person… There was something terribly wrong with their energy. They were going through what she had gone through – their energy had been invaded. Invaded by _her_? But she was in control now. But then…

Concentrating on the agony of the other being, Starlow slowly started sensing the problem. There wasn't just one other being. There were many. So many voices screaming out. So many souls tangled together, so many energies ripping through each other, bleeding together. _What in the name of Star Haven had happened?_

She struggled to remember. They were in the conference room. Then something had happened. A tornado? No, that's not powerful enough. There was _raw energy_ exposed to the air. Ripped from its host and laid bare and ravenous. Hammerspace energy. The energy that lets you carry your items within your very essence. Large, heavy objects rendered weightless and without volume, turned from mass to energy and nested within your own energy. All species had it in the Mushroom World, some more than others. Humans used pockets to focus their hammerspace. Some powerful humans could use the folds of their clothes, or reach behind their back and pull weapons from the contours of their bodies themselves. Toads didn't need pockets either, but this was no Toad's doing. What species? What species? Starlow knew she knew this, and racked her brain. Not Yoshis. Not Goombas. No Star would do this. But… Koopas! They had hammerspace in spades. Lakitus and their Spinies, Hammer Bros. and their hammers, Spikes and their spike balls, Koopa Troopas and their shells… and Dragon-Koopas.

Starlow gasped as recognition washed over her. Of course it was him. Mario had more skills, but when it came to raw power, Bowser really was the tops. His species was the powerhouse of the Koopas – the most ancient species, the ones most like their dragon ancestors, as the name suggested. Bowser was known for his firebreath and brute strength, but he had hammerspace abilities at least as sharp as the other Koopa species. Now that she thought about it, even his Clown Car was modified to use hammerspace for extra storage. But how had he managed to weaponize his own hammerspace? How _could_ he corrupt his own energy like that – his own soul.

It disgusted Starlow. Her memories were coming back now. Bowser had appeared and sucked them all up. He swallowed them – sucked them into his hammerspace via his gullet. Disgusting. How could he do that? It was a violation to have your energy forcibly merged with another. It dirtied the soul.

Oh, but he was suffering too. He bit off more than he could chew, Starlow could feel it. The pain was ripping him apart, and he deserved it, the monster. He deserved to suffer. To die.

But wait.

If Bowser died, his energy would dissipate. And everything contained within his energy would dissipate as well. If he died, Starlow, Mario, Luigi, Peach and all the rest would die too. No. No. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't end like this. Starlow knew she had to do something. She had to get them out. But she could barely keep her own sense of self complete against the onslaught of all the other souls coursing through Bowser's body. And even if she managed to pull them together, mortals weren't meant to be sucked into each other. It would be too incomprehensible to them. They would go insane. Starlow was half crazed herself, in this formless, simultaneously white and black and rainbow world of Bowser's energy.

She couldn't do it.

She needed help.

Help.

Help.

HELP!

"_Knowing your limits is the first step to wissssssdom."_

_Wh-what? W-Wisdurm?_

"_Hello Starrrrrlow. Or, should I saaaay, hello yellllllllo?"_

_Wisdurm, what's happening?_

"_You already know what's haaaaappening."_

_But what do I do? I don't have enough power to help them. They're all going to die…_

"_You mean 'weeeee' are all going to diiiiiie."_

_I- I suppose…_

"_Putting others before youuuuu – you may have attitude but I told them you had heart toooooo."_

_Wh- what? Oh, nevermind. Wisdurm, if you're here too, can you-_

"_Oh no, I'm not therrrrre. I'm just waaaaatching."_

_So… you can't help?_

"_Not yeeeet. I'll help you soon, but you need to help yourself fiiiiiirst."_

_But I don't have enough power. And I thought curing the Blorbs was beyond a Star Sprite… How can I possibly pull everyone out?_

"_You caaaaaan't."_

_But then what do I do?_

"_You don't NEED to get them ouuuuuut. There's only one soul you need to stabilize for now, and the rest will lie dormaaaaant."_

…_Bowser?_

"_Got it in oooooone."_

_But I don't want to help BOWSER! He caused this. He SHOULD suffer!_

"_Now that's not very niiiiice. Besides, you know he couldn't have done this to hiiiiiimself."_

_Then what happened?_

"_You'll find out sooooooon enough."_

_Why won't you tell me what's happening? Do you want us all to die?! Mario is the hero of the Mushroom world, and Princess Peach… and… I thought I was your friend…_

"_You aaaare. I'm not telling you because I caaaaan't. You need to figure this out on your ownnnnn. But don't worry, we'll help youuuu. You just need to-"_

_Yeah, yeah, I remember: help myself first. But you're not listening to me, Wisdurm! I don't have enough power to stabilize Bowser._

"_That's true, you dooooon't. You need heeeelp."_

_THEN HELP ME!_

"_You don't need MY heeeelp…"_

Starlow felt Wisdurm's presence fade from her mind. Panic was welling up inside her once again, but she forced it back down. She had to think. She didn't know why Wisdurm wouldn't help her, but she couldn't worry about that now. She had to have faith. If the sage said she could do it, she could do it. But she didn't have enough power, and Wisdurm had agreed, but she didn't give her what Starlow needed. But she was trapped in Bowser's body! Where else could she get… power…

If she had a corporeal form, Starlow could have slapped herself. She was surrounded by power. Bowser's power. And more. Mario, Luigi and Peach were there too. But she'd start with Bowser. His presence was strongest, and he had the most power. She'd use his energy to resolve the consciousnesses of everyone inside him. Starting with his own being. His blackened, withered soul. The Star Sage Geno may call him a friend, but Starlow knew better. Maybe this wasn't his fault somehow, but plenty of things _had_ been his doing over the years, and Starlow hated helping him. But a Star Sprite does what a Star Sprite must.

Starlow struck out into the mire around her, reaching out with her mind and connecting with a stream of energy she knew was Bowser. She gasped. He really _was_ a powerhouse: he made Peach's power look like a watch battery. Starlow was just glad he wasn't very bright or skilled, or the Mushroom World would be in deep trouble. Pity he wasn't a good guy – he'd go far if he used his power for noble causes and didn't need to be stopped by the herald warriors of the Stars. Speaking of which, to her delight, Starlow had already found a piece of Mario she could work with. Bowser was stable: he was unconscious, but somehow, she had managed to return harmony to his energy, and already the other souls trapped within him were cooling down.

But what to do with them? They weren't ripping themselves and Bowser apart anymore, but they were still screaming. She had to act fast, but even with the energies of Bowser, Mario and the others at her disposal, Starlow had no way to reverse whatever had pulled them into Bowser. The Koopa King's soul was tied to his body again, and what's what made him stable, but there was nothing to tie the others too: one soul per body. But maybe she could make substitutes.

Shuddering with the effort, Starlow conjured up an illusion. A spectral figure of Mario, made from his own energy. It would house his soul; keep it solid, like Bowser's. But it wasn't enough, and Starlow called on Bowser's energy again, forming an even larger illusion. A world for Mario to exist in. And because he would surely remember being sucked up by Bowser, and couldn't handle the truth about the merged energies, there was only one story Starlow _could_ weave…


	6. Bowser's Inside Story

Chapter 6: Bowser's Inside Story

Mario felt himself falling. He flailed around, but it was no use and he soon hit the ground. It was warm and squishy. The world around him shook. Over and over, and eventually he couldn't ignore it anymore and jumped to his feet, ignoring the headache, nausea and overall crappy feeling that permeated every inch of his body. Mario was nothing if not tough. He looked around. Wherever he was, it was a strange place. All rounded and squishy. He tried to remember what happened, but his memories were fuzzy. He looked up at the slimy black chute he had fallen down from: there was no way he was going to be climbing back up that.

Not one to stand around contemplating, he wandered down the path before him instead, soon coming to a room with bubbling yellowish liquid and hard grey platforms. He knew what to do with _that_ and hopped across the pool, coming to a wriggling orange block. Kinda strange, but he knew what to do with blocks too, and gave it a good whack from below.

"What in the name of globin?" said the block, morphing into a talking head. It looked down at the very perplexed Mario. "Strange to meet you, O visitor. Some call me an Emoglobin. Of secret-ish things in the body of Bowser, I know them all. I can impart this knowledge to you, if you have the globin. And I have Emoglobin bretheren. Hit them, O jump-ish creature. Being struck bothers us none… for such is the way of globin. Anyway, O traveler, about what are you curious? The nature of globin? The meaning of globin? BRZZZZZZZZZT! I tell you NOTHING! But I will let you save, since your globin reminds me of me. Want to save your globin?"

Mario blinked at the strange block creature and started to inch away towards the next corridor.

"By the way, O traveler, like all things in life, I am temporary, so be careful-ish!" added the Emoglobin, before morphing back into its faceless block form.

Mario cast one last wary look at it and hurried on.

**-x-**

"_Kind of a weird choicccce."_ Wisdurm was back.

_It wasn't me,_ explained Starlow._ I wanted to have some sort of way to explain stuff to Mario, but Bowser's energy just manifested itself like that._

"_Guess you'll have to go and do the explaining in perrrrrson."_

_But I can't – I need to stay focused on maintaining the illusion, and I haven't resolved Luigi yet._

"_You're cloooose."_

_Not close enough._

"_You can do iiiiiiiiiit."_

_Ugh, FIIINE, I'll give it a try._

"_That's my girrrrrl."_

**-x-**

"LEMME GO!"

Mario had reached the next room to find Starlow trapped within a bubble near the roof. She figured the best way to get him to team up with her would be to let him 'save' her. Friendships forged in fire and all that.

"NOW! RELEASE ME! RRRGH!" she felt a bit silly pretending to struggle against her own illusion, but whatever worked... "NOT how to treat a lady! YAH! QUIT IT! That…tickles! QUIT IT! NOW!"

Mario jumped down, puzzling about what to do next, when another Emoglobin appeared.

"Globin! I am a wandering Emoglobin. I come bearing knowledge. O strange pipe-ish thing I see! How do I long to press down upon you to sink down below! For then might I fly skyward! Or perhaps travel to far places. There are many pipe-ish types. O traveler, when you find a pipe-ish thing, please press down! Remember, or be forever globin! See you globin!"

Starlow and Mario both watched as it floated away. Bowser's inner voice was a strange thing indeed to manifest itself like that. Wisdurm was right to advise Starlow to just meet up with Mario – she doubt she could stand to let all her important instructions get mangled by a delivery system as quirky as Bowser's energy. But she supposed weird emotional blocks were preferable to evil blocks, which is what she half-expected would be produced – Mario would probably have a ball dealing with messengers of evil, but as he rocketed up and burst her bubble, Starlow supposed this was smoother.

"Mario! You saved me!" she smiled, floating out of his hand.

Suddenly, a blob fell down behind Mario.

_Oh what now_, sighed Starlow to herself. "Watch out! Here it comes!" she warned Mario. As Mario battled with the Goombule blob, Starlow tried hailing Wisdurm.

"_You called meeeee?"_

_What's going on? The Emoglobins were bad enough, but now attacking blobby things?_

"_Did you expect Bowser's energy to just roll over while you hiiiiiijacked it?"_

_Well, I…_

"_You're all parasites – ENERGY parasiiiiiites. The worst kinnnnnd. Just as a body tries to fight off invading pathogens, so too will Bowser's energy fight youuuuu lot."_

_Guess we'll just have to fight 'em off._

"_At least fighting is Mario's second naturrrrre. After jumping, of courssssse."_

_Of course. …But, if these are Bowser's energy, does fighting them off hurt him, or…_

"_Do my ears deceive meeeee? Starlow's concerned for Bowserrrrr?"_

_I'm concerned for my host – like a good little parasite. If he dies, we die, remember?_

"_I'm only teasssssing. Don't worry about iiiiit: the amount of energy lost by these little encounters is a piiiittance. Besides, it's all Bowser soup down there, reeeeeally. You may have separated Mario's consciousness, but he and Bowser are still connnnnnnected. Lots of feedback and mixxxxxing. Nothing to worry abouuuut."_

_If you say so…_

As Wisdurm faded away once more, Mario turned back to Starlow, having finished off the Goombule. She smiled. "Thank you so much for saving me, Mario."

Mario jumped. "Yeah!" But then he frowned and looked around. "But-a, where-a are we?"

"Hmm… I'm pretty sure we're inside Bowser's body," said Starlow, finding it hard to pretend like she didn't know anything for sure. "After Bowser inhaled me, I woke up and wandered around… And then that amoeba thing grabbed me out of the blue."

"What about-a Peach? Or-a Luigi?"

"Hm? The others? I don't know… I didn't even really understand I'd been inhaled until I realized I might be inside Bowser. I bet everyone else is in here somewhere, but… Right now I have no clue where anyone is…"

Mario wasn't pleased, and frowned. "Hmmm…"

Starlow pretended to investigate the room. "Yeah, definitely inside Bowser…" As she floated back to Mario, she had to hand it to herself: she knew how to make a convincing illusion. "Who knows how in the world THAT happened, but one thing's for sure… If we don't find the others soon, we're all in BIG trouble!" At least that part had a little honesty to it. She really _did_ need to get the others' consciousnesses separated, and she still needed to figure out what exactly Bowser did to suck them all inside. Or…what he had done to _him_.

Noticing the genuine shadow that crossed Starlow's face, Mario spoke up. "I'm-a sure they're okay."

Starlow looked up at him, and smiled. "Yeah, you're right. We'd better just press on. Someone might be nearby!"

Mario nodded. "Let's-a go!"

Together they wandered about Bowser's insides for a little, with Starlow pretending to go into Mario's hammerspace when not needed. In reality, being incorporeal made it easier for her to keep the illusions going, and Bowser's energy monsters periodically distracted Mario enough for Starlow to forget about making new scenery and get back to work on Luigi, and she simply lengthened their journey with new corridors until she finally got Mario's brother ready to roll and placed him in a bubble like she had been.

Luigi came to with a moan just as Mario entered the chamber.

"Luigi!" cried Mario, catching sight of his brother.

"Hey! Luigi, why are you goofing off up there?!" called Starlow, entering the illusion once more and playing her part.

"_OOoOooOOoh…_" moaned Luigi.

"What to do… Mario, we have to help. Jump up and grab his legs so we can pull him down."

Mario obediently followed Starlow's advice and sprang to his brother's aide, yanking him out of the bubble. The two landed in a heap beneath the bubble, which also dropped down as a pair of blobs, but jumping to his feet, Mario ignored them and tried to rouse his brother. "Luigi! … Luigiii!"

Finally the green-glad brother sprang to his feet with a "Yah!" He seemed disoriented for a moment, but upon turning around and catching sight of his brother, he cried out. "Mario!" He lunged into his brother's arms, sobbing uncontrollably, his chest heaving. "Oh ho ho hooo!"

Starlow frowned. Yeah, being sucked up by Bowser and waking up with your head covered in yellow slime in a bubble hanging from the ceiling of a gross, squishy room wasn't the most fun thing ever, but he seemed to be taking it a little too hard. She was almost relieved when the blobs of nasty turned into Goombules and forced Luigi to stop crying and join Mario in combat.

"Mario! Jump and stomp 'em!" she called encouragingly, earning a reproachful look from Luigi. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help but tease him – he was an easy target. After the battle she even "accidentally" bumped him in her haste to emerge from Mario's "hammerspace". The little tantrum he threw was definitely a highlight of her day.

"Phew… Even inside Bowser's body there are enemies to fight," she commented. "Hey, Luigi! Have you seen Princess Peach anywhere?"

The question seemed to ground the fuming plumber and he paused thoughtfully. "Hmm, nope. The last thing I-a remember was waking up from my nap to find-a that Bowser was attack me!"

"Hm… Not you either, huh… Looks like she'll be tough to track down…"

Not wanting to waste a minute, Mario took point. "Let's-a go!"

"Okey-dokey," nodded Luigi, falling in step with his brother as they continued on down the hallways, with Mario filling his brother in on what had happened to them. Starlow was happy to take the backseat again. She knew she should be trying to resolve the other consciousnesses, but she was getting very tired. To keep Mario and Luigi distracted, she gave them hammers to use in battle, and they contentedly clobbered more enemies while she tried to recharge. As if answering her prayers, another Emoglobin then turned up.

"Some people know me as an Emoglobin with a kind-ish heart," it said, while Mario and Luigi peered at it curiously. "For I alone soothe the soul and heal the weary globin. Shall I heal yours?"

Luigi looked at Mario and shook his head vigorously, but Mario was more trusting. Starlow had to admit, the thought of getting a small refuel from Bowser's energy was tempting, but while using him was one thing, actually absorbing some of his energy was a step she wasn't willing to take. It was still Bowser, after all, and while this manifestation of his energy wasn't trying to kill them, she couldn't ignore the fact that he was evil for the sake of convenience.

Sensing Starlow's apprehension, Mario relented and shook his head at the Emoglobin, backing up with Luigi. "So you don't want to be healed…" the block seemed almost hurt at the rejection. "What a globin." Mario and Luigi carried on, but just as Starlow let the Emoglobin's room dissolve back into nothingness, a drop of amber liquid fell from the creature. Starlow felt it as it passed into the ether of Bowser's energy and disappeared – it had been pure energy itself, not a trace of evil. Perhaps, part of Bowser really _did_ want to help... Starlow shook her metaphorical head at the notion: she had to be more careful, lest she started believing her own lies on a regular basis.


	7. The Beast in the Cave

Chapter 7: The Beast in the Cave

_Wisduuurm, talk to me. I have no idea what to do. The energy's there but the mind's not able. I can't get a lock on anyone else's consciousnesses. I'm beat._

"_Beat, but not defeeeeated."_

_About time you picked up!_

"_Too many hints would be cheeeeeating."_

_Don't give me that riddle talk! I'm SO not in the mood._

Wisdurm sighed, but she understood Starlow's frustration. Granted, _she_ hadn't needed to ask her mentor for quite so many pointers during _her_ test all those centuries ago, but she supposed her task hadn't been _quite_ as abstract, and took pity on Starlow.

"_There's one more consciousness available to youuuuu – one you don't need to pull from the eeeeether."_

_You mean BOWSER?! I'm not waking HIM up, if that's what you mean! …Wisdurm? Wisdurm! COME BACK! And give me some GOOD advice this time! Grrrrr!_

But Starlow was alone again, and unable to think of anything else, she sighed and relented, appearing once more to speak to the Mario Bros. "Looks like we finally made it out of that messed-up area… Hmph… We may be able to access some other areas of Bowser's body… Just follow the paths to get to where you want to go."

Mario and Luigi peered down the dark corridor Starlow had materialized for them. They nodded to each other and Mario jumped into the path, with Luigi on his heels. Knowing she'd probably need more illusions in the future, Starlow created many unopened doorways branching off of the path, so Mario and Luigi simply ran along until they found the one she had left open for them.

Letting the illusions dissolve behind the door after it shut behind the brothers, Starlow appeared to them again. She knew that rousing Bowser was going to be difficult and needed a moment to compose herself. "This place… Will you wait a moment?" she asked mysteriously, zooming around the bend and disappearing. The Marios waited patiently in the minimalistic room, while Starlow took advantage of the break from constantly spinning new illusions for the ever-moving humans and got ready for what came next. "What the… This can't be… Yeah! It must be!"

After piquing their interest with her calling, Starlow returned to the bros. Sorry for the wait. I found something up ahead that bugs me. It's faster to show you than to bother explaining. Head in there!"

"Mm-hmm." Mario nodded understandingly – the less words, the better. "Let's-a go."

"Okay!" said Luigi, following his brother into Starlow's latest illusion. They walked up to a pulsating yellow protrusion sticking out of the wall.

Starlow emerged again. "This! This is the thing! This sticking-out part… It seems to be connected to Bowser's major nerve. If we can stimulate this thing, something'll happen…"

Mario shot Luigi a cheeky look and without a second thought, whacked the thing with his hammer. Just as Starlow had planned. As always, she wanted to make sure the brothers thought they were more than a simulation, and while the energy spike that she sent coursing through Bowser's body was purely her doing, she wanted them to feel a part of it.

**-x-**

"WOWCH!" cried Bowser, jerking back to consciousness. Slowly he pushed himself to his feet, shaking his head. Suddenly another jolt of pain sent him jumping. "YAAAARGH!" He clutched as his gut. "Whoa, what did I eat?! That's some serious pain going on down there! YAAAARGH!"

Hearing his shout, Starlow figured he had enough. "That got him up," she said to Mario. Then, taking a deep breath, she then reached out her mind to Bowser's, just as she and Wisdurm had been communicating all morning. Only Bowser was no Wisdurm, and it took all her effort not to recoil in disgust from a mind as twisted and dull as his surely was. "HEY!" she called, letting Mario and Luigi listen in and see her mouth move as part of the continued charade. "HEAR ME?"

Bowser raised an eyebrow in confusion at the voice that suddenly filled his head. "What the- HEY! Is somebody there?!" He got to his feet and looked around, but wherever he was, it was too dark to see. "Who is that?! Where am I?!"

"Don't bother looking! I'm actually down here! Inside your body!" said the voice.

"You gotta be kidding! It's in my BODY?!" Bowser wrinkled his nose in disgust: why did crap like this always seem to happen to _him_? First that witch took him over in the Beanbean Kingdom, then that time-traveling alien, and now some disembodied girl's voice was emanating from his innards. "HEY YOU! IN THERE! WHAT ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY BODY?!"

"You don't remember? At Peach's Castle…?"

"Peach's Castle?" Bowser folded his arms as he tried to think back to earlier that morning. "Mario pounded me at Peach's… I got chucked into a forest… I don't remember the rest…"

"Oh… You don't?" Starlow didn't think that asking Bowser directly would be much use, but she was still a little bummed that the mystery of the hammerspace was still unsolved.

"Wait-" added Bowser. "I ate a weird mushroom from some weirdo in the forest. Weird forest mushrooms… From some weirdo… … I DON'T GET IT! I don't get what happened to me at ALL! This is stupid! And you, partying in my body like you own it. How dare you?!"

_Very interesting_, thought Starlow. The Blorbs had been caused by someone passing out so-called "Blorb Mushrooms", and now it appears that a weird mushroom caused Bowser's hammerspace to go haywire. It obviously wasn't the same mushroom – the symptoms were too different, but Starlow had a feeling the one dispensing the mushrooms was the same. She guessed Wisdurm was right – someone _had_ done this to Bowser. It wasn't his fault.

But she knew he could still cause a lot of problems if he knew the truth of what happened – if he knew Mario and Luigi were out of commission, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom ripe for the picking. She disconnected from his mind for a second and turned to Mario and Luigi. "This is really lucky. Let's not tell him yet that he inhaled us." The bros nodded as she linked back with Bowser. "Maybe I should explain who I am later… It's a long story…"

"Whoa, hold it! Long? I hate boring stories…" But on the other hand, he supposed it wouldn't be boring – it involved _him_, after all. Then something else occurred to Bowser. "Hey, wait! You! You in my bod! I've heard your voice before…"

"Oh… Uh, really? Weird." Starlow didn't expect Bowser's memory to be that sharp – especially since the rest of the morning seemed to be a blur for him. At least he didn't remember exactly where he heard her voice before, and she wanted it to stay that way. "Listen, to change the subject, uh, where are you right now?"

"Oh yeah, right! Where am I?" It was still dark, but now that he was a bit more awake and clear-headed, Bowser could make out some shapes in the dark. He could also feel the cool, dampness in the air. "Kind of a dim, dark cave. What in the world am I doing in a dim, dank cave?!"

"A cave?" she turned to Mario and Luigi. "This is just weird… He doesn't remember inhaling us at all… He doesn't know where he is right now… What happened up there?"

"Hmm?" wondered Mario.

"Haw?" Luigi also put a fist to his chin and pondered the question.

Starlow returned to conversing with Bowser. "Hey, up there! First, shouldn't you find a way out of that cave?"

"Hrmph! I was gonna do that anyway, genius!" growled Bowser, snapping out of his own thoughts.

"Let's let Bowser do his thing for a while," said Starlow to the bros., relieved that she was going to get a break.

"Oh yeah!" said Mario. He'd rather explore some more, but there hadn't been many other exists to the path, so he supposed there wasn't much he _could_ do, regardless of what he wanted.

"Okay!" said Luigi. Truth be told, he was still a bit tired, and Starlow was looking beat too. A bit of rest was fine with him.


	8. Blast from the Past

Chapter 8: Blast from the Past

Bowser was in a foul mood. What he could remember of the morning was infuriating as always, and he was sure what he couldn't remember was worse – although the mere fact that he couldn't remember was angering in and of itself. Then there was his latest 'house guest'… He didn't even want to _think_ about her. With any luck, she was just a hallucination brought on by… whatever happened to him. Smashing through some boulders, Bowser tried to not think about that as well, and instead focus on getting out of the cave. And causing as much destruction as he could along the way. The cave was abandoned as far as he could tell, although it still had a couple mechanical doors and things, so he figured _someone_ would be upset if he littered the place with broken bolder bits.

Finally, he saw daylight filtering through the gloom and hurried around the corner. The way out was blocked by some sort of giant cobweb-looking structure, but there didn't seem to be a giant spider lying in wait, so Bowser figured it was all clear. "Look at this flimsy thing!" he scoffed aloud. "Time for some burnage!" But when he opened his mouth, all that came out was hot air. And not even scorching hot, at that. Blinking in confusion, he tried again, and again, and again, but still no fire. "Wait, what happened?" He was getting worried now. "HEY! Why did no flames come out?!" As if his day wasn't going badly enough – now he couldn't even use his firebreath? Then a thought occurred to him, and he looked down at his own gut accusingly. "Hey! You in my belly! Wake up! You hear me?!"

Starlow considered ignoring him, but while she hadn't been paying very much attention to what Bowser was up to, she _had_ felt something funny ripple through his energy, and figured it would be worth investigating. With a sigh she called upon her energy again, and not bothering to let the still-resting Mario and Luigi in on the latest development, she opened a link directly to Bowser's mind. "What's wrong?!"

"I'll tell you what's wrong! My flames aren't working! You probably messed something up in there!"

Starlow snorted. "I didn't touch anything! Don't blame me for this!"

Now Bowser was getting mad. "Hey, jerky, I never had any trouble until you got in there! I was a burning MACHINE! And now you broke me! SO FIRE ME BACK UP!"

"Now, just hang on a sec! What would I have to gain by disabling your flame system?"

"Do I look like I need logic?" Bowser really didn't care why it happened: he only wanted it to be fixed. Pronto. He didn't let the distress creep into his voice, but Bowser knew that without his fire, his ability to pulverize his enemies was severely lessened. It left him almost… vulnerable. Lost in a cave after who-knows-what happened to him, with a little twat running amok in his guts and stripping him of his ability to defend himself… Not good. Definitely not good at all. "Listen, I NEED to breathe fire!"

"I'm sure you do!" sneered Starlow. She didn't realize quite how antsy being flame-less was making Bowser, but she could bet that a big bruiser like him wouldn't like being off his game, and he deserved to squirm. "And I'm also sure I didn't disable it! So have a good time trying to fight without your fire and all. YELLO GOOD-BYE!"

"Hey! HEY! GRAAAARGH!" Bowser couldn't _believe_ her. Who the heck did she think she was to talk to him like that? _Him_. The King of the Koopas. "This is complete garbage!" he spat. He looked at the cobweb – it was flimsy, but he had a bad feeling that punching it would just land him in a tangle. Literally. And the little twerp in his guts sure wasn't going to help him out if he got caught. "I've gotta get my fire back!" he growled, turning back into the cave. "Someday I'll get that punk!" he muttered to himself, before falling silent, lest the little freak decided to do more damage as punishment for speaking ill of her, or some other crap like that.

Fortunately it wasn't too far to the next exit, and this one was clear of cobwebs. Bowser breathed deeply as he stepped out under the amber sky. He had been wandering around the cave for a while, and he had probably been knocked out for a while too, but he knew it was too early in the day for the sun to be going down, so he figured he had to be in one of the weird constantly-twilit regions of the Mushroom Kingdom. Too bad he didn't know where any of them were – besides Twilight Town, but that was beyond the mountains. Still, volcanoes were the most common culprit for twilight – living in Dark Land had taught Bowser that much. Maybe he was on the Eastern side of the Sky Land mountains – they _were_ the only sight of inland Mushroom Kingdom volcanoes. The other option would be smoke wafting over from Lavalava Island – Bowser _did_ smell the ocean, and aside from the colour he supposed sky _was_ still a fair bit brighter than Twilight Town or Dark Land.

Plus, there were clouds. White ones, floating all around the cliffs. Bowser was up pretty high – makes sense given how much climbing he had been doing in the caves. He supposed it'd give him a good view of the surrounding area; let him get his bearings a bit better. However, he had barely started towards the nearest precipice when something that _wasn't_ a cloud flew into view.

It was Fawful. Having secured both castles this side of Sky Land, he decided to check on his living (for now) energy thermos, and seeing Bowser up and about, he was glad he did. He flew over to the cliff, with Bowser helpfully running up to meet him.

"Hey! Hold up!" bellowed Bowser as he neared Fawful, he glared up at the Bean. "Quit hovering!"

"What is your surprise face?" grinned Fawful, starting to fly a slow circle around the Koopa King. "Was there forgetting about me?"

Bowser thought for a moment, and then his eyes flew open. "Wait, I know you! You're the weirdo who tricked me into eating that mushroom!"

"You are the one who is correct!" replied Fawful, continuing to circle his prey. "Wasn't it full of delicious?! Such a special treat called a Vacuum Shroom! I, Fawful, invented it to make you inhale everything you see!"

Inside Bowser, Starlow had the energy rigged up to transmit everything Bowser heard into her illusion, allowing Mario and Luigi to listen to the outside world as well as to Bowser's voice. She would have liked to have visuals as well, but she was at the limit of her skills. And it wasn't just a matter of needing rest - even if Bowser hadn't bothered her about his fire problems, this would still be the best she could do. Maybe if she brought her books and could study a bit more things would be different, but for now, sound was all Bowser's passengers got.

But it was enough. "So _that's_ what happened," she remarked to Mario and Luigi as Fawful's words filtered through to them. "It was a guy named Fawful…"

"We-a know him!" exclaimed Mario.

"What? Really?" .

"Mm-hmm," nodded Mario.

"He was-a Cackletta's assistant," explained Luigi. "They used-a Peach's voice to awaken the-a Beanstar-"

"To try to take over the world," finished Starlow, remembering back to the events that had unfurled in the usually unremarkable Beanbean Kingdom. "You guys defeated Cackletta, and then Fawful used Bowser as a vessel for her soul…" _Kinda like how we're using him now,_ she thought to herself, but she forced the idea away. It was _totally_ different than what Fawful had done – _she_ had no choice. Besides, it was _Bowser_ – what did it matter who did what to him and for what reason anyway? She looked back at Mario. "You destroyed Cackletta's soul inside Bowser – I remember reading about that. But I guess Fawful escaped..."

"Oh yeah," nodded Mario. The last they had seen of Fawful, he had been soundly defeated and knocked out of Bowser's flying castle. Fighting Bowser for so long had taught the Mario Bros. to never assume someone died after being blasted away, but Fawful was just a minion, and no one really cared what had happened to him. Once Cackletta was gone, the danger was past. He was a wanted Bean in his home kingdom, yes, but he had never turned up and that was just as fine as locking him in jail. Or so they had thought.

The name rang a bell for Bowser as well, but his memory wasn't as good as the Marios' on his best days, and he didn't make the connection with the old Beanbean Kingdom misadventure. He was having enough problems trying to remember that morning, despite Fawful's prompt. He remembered eating the mushroom, and then he remembered pain. Nothing but pain.

Fawful caught the look on Bowser's face and had to suppress a giggle. "And I, Fawful, am betting that you are remembering nothing. You inhaled like a hungry syrup pig at the free pancake buffet. And then you had the napping. And then I put you in the cave!"

"WHAAAAT?!" Bowser might not remember it first hand, but he'd take Fawful's word for it that he did more than just sell him the magic mushroom. Or drugged mushroom. Or whatever he did to 'invent' it. "What's your problem, pal?" snarled Bowser. "What's your beef with me?"

"Beef? I am lacking in beef. Fawful is beefless. But I am having a goal!" Fawful rose higher with his platform and cried at the top of his lungs. "Mushroom Kingdom… WILL BE MINE!"

Bowser blinked in stupefaction at the crazed Bean, while inside him, Mario and Luigi tensed up, wishing they could pulverize Fawful right then and there. Starlow didn't know what to make of the situation, but she didn't like it.

"All of Mushroom Kingdom spread for Fawful like power brunch!" chattered the young Bean. "First, the appetizer of making Toads round with blorbs! Then, the side order of using Vacuum-Shroomed Bowser! Fawful is gorging on his plan of win! And still he has hunger!"

"You're nuts!" growled Bowser.

"No hunger for nuts. Just to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom… First, the emptying of the castle of Peach! AND THEN!" He zoomed around Bowser, his excitement bubbling over. "Andthenandthenandthenandthenandthen!" He came to a stop and looked down at Bowser, his face still contorted into his mad grin. "The castle of Bowser for me! I will be powering it up into the castle of Fawful!"

"Whoa, hold up, champ! What about my castle?!" demanded Bowser.

Fawful chuckled. "I had the attacking of it. Explosions of plenty. Minions without wings had the flight. The capture. The fleeing like frightened sparrows. Fawful's minion is like the sparrowhawk – he had the capture of Bowser's little sparrows. Now they are singing as cage-birds. Or have the working for Fawful! Like… birds… that work for the peoples…"

"I say again, you're nuts! My minions will defend the castle with everything they've got. There's a reason the Mushroom Kingdom trembles in their little booties whenever the Koopa Troop crosses the border. You're outta your league, pal!"

"You are not listening – I have the capture of pastness. The castle of Bowser is being Bowser's no more. The redecorating is now – and then it will be the castle of Fawfulness."

"Pffffft. Please! Get over yourself! My castle's gonna be just fine, pal."

"Hmm… We will be seeing…" said Fawful as he started circling again, viewing Bowser out of the corner of his eye. He knew Bowser was rather thick, but he wondered if Bowser's outright refusal to believe him about the castle's fate was a side-effect of Bowser's energy condition. It was a miracle he was conscious at all, given what had happened to him. Fawful didn't like miracles. "Anyway," he faced Bowser again. "I thought you would be sleeping long, like a lazy bear." He paused. He'd like to know why he wasn't asleep, but curiosity kills the cat, and his plan wasn't quite far enough along to risk it. "And I am thinking you should be sleeping more! COME! MIDBUS!"

As Fawful abruptly turned and zoomed into the sky, Bowser hurried to give chase. "Hey! HEY! COME BACK! I'm not done with you!" However, he had barely taken two steps when a large pink blur seemed to come out of nowhere and tackled him, sending him skidding backwards along the grassy cliff.

"HRRRGH! You. No longer needed. Here, you taste defeat."

Bowser glared at the newcomer. He was as big as the Dragon-Koopa, and had similar horns, and even spiked bands around his wrists, but between his pig snout, armadillo shell and scale-less pink skin, he was definitely no Koopa. Bowser snorted. "Taste defeat? You're gonna taste my fist, you little piglet!"

"Taste your fist? Ha ha. I think not. I HAVE NO TASTE!"

Bowser raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't even make sense!" Pigs were supposed to have good senses, right? Or maybe just smell…

"Sense is for the weak!" grunted Midbus. Then he narrowed his eyes threatingly. "You listen. Peach, gone. Lord Fawful, new ruler. Now, no need of you. Lord Fawful says sleep. NOW YOU SLEEP!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAH! What is WRONG with you?! Nothing you say makes sense!" said Bowser exasperatedly. _Peach gone? Fawful the new ruler? And the way this guy speaks... It's as bad as Fawful…_ Bowser could swear he had heard Fawful's broken English before. But he couldn't remember. Why was there so much he couldn't remember? It really ticked him off. "And now you made me mad! And once I get mad, I need to punch something! C'MERE!"

"I have battle!" As Bowser lunged at Midbus, Fawful returned, eager to watch his minion take the Koopa King down. "Midbus! He is having a big punch!" Fawful knew Bowser would be no match – he was lucky to even be able to walk around, much less fight. Still, he couldn't help but coach his loyal toady. "Midbus! Have readiness!" Despite his visibly poor condition, Bowser did manage to land a couple punches. "BADNESS!" shrieked Fawful. "The worst kind of bad badness! Do not have naughtiness and-"

Bowser rolled his eyes. What he wouldn't give to blast the little freak out of the sky with a nice fireball. "Midbus! Now is the time for striking!" ordered Fawful as Midbus curled up into a ball and spun towards Bowser. He punched him back, much to Fawful's chagrin. "NAUGHTY! That is danger! That punch is like a danger sandwich… Not tasty, Bowser… You are the handful. But my Midbus eats danger sandwiches like they were fun hoagies! Midbus! Action time! Destroy him and we go to home!"

Unfortunately for Bowser, Midbus took his master's words to heart and doubled the intensity of his onslaught. Bowser tried, but he couldn't hold his ground. He felt even worse than he had that morning when he fought Mario, but this time, he knew why. "Gaah… haaah… haah…" he panted. "That weird mushroom is making me feel cruddy… Can't win like this…"

Midbus smirked. "Muh muh muh. You are weak. Most weak."

"What… How…" _How is this happening to ME? Why me?_

Midbus was approaching, murder in his eyes. But when he caught sight of Fawful, he stopped dead in his tracks. The Bean shook his head. He still needed Bowser alive, and more fighting might destabilize him sooner than he would like. He would prefer it if the Dragon-Koopa was down and out, but he could barely stand – he'd surely pass out before too long anyway, and in the meantime, he and Midbus had places to be.

Fawful signaled for Midbus to come. The pig had a bad feeling about leaving Bowser standing, but another part of him was glad. This just meant he'd get another chance to pummel the Koopa King later on, when his master didn't need him anymore. "It does not end here," he said as he turned away. "Work on your skills."

Bowser had never been so insulted. Someone _walking away_ in the middle of a fight? _How dare that pig!_ Bowser gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to call Midbus back and demand that he finished the fight like a man. As much as he hated forfeiting fights, Bowser hated losing more. Maybe if he had his firebreath he'd risk it, but as things stood, he supposed walking away wasn't _so_ bad. It's not like anyone was there to see it, after all. Which reminded him… "Hey! You in the gut! Are you listening?!"

"I hear you!" responded Starlow. "Sounds like Fawful is taking over!"

"I'm heading for my castle!"

"Huh? No, that's no good! Go to Peach's Castle! We HAVE to go to Peach's Castle!"

"What am I, a taxi? Want a coffee too? Maybe a massage? Look, my castle's in danger! We gotta head there right now! That weirdo can't have it!"

Starlow rolled her eyes. Either Bowser hadn't understood Fawful's Engrish, or he was too stubborn to accept that his castle was _already_ captured. Starlow's coins were on the second one. "…OK, I understand," she sighed. "Do as you must." Disconnecting from Bowser, she turned to Mario and Luigi. "Nothing we can do right now… but Bowser's in bad shape. It's possible some changes will take place in his body…" The Bros. were clearly getting restless, and Starlow supposed she could make another illusionary area for them to explore soon if she had to. But she was nowhere close to pulling another soul out of Bowser's ether. It was getting harder to keep everything she had already separated stable. The fight with Midbus had really messed Bowser up, and she worried that Fawful hadn't bothered finishing it because he knew he didn't have to. The end was already on its way.


	9. Sympathy for the Koopa

Chapter 9: Sympathy for the Koopa

Bowser was glad he only had to make his way _down_ the cliffs. He hated to admit it, but he doubted he had it in him to climb anything at this point. It was all he could do to punch out the few enemies that crossed him. The little bush-like Borps were no match for him, but Chuboombas actually proved a bit of a challenge. Oh how the mighty had fallen – to have to actually put effort into defeating a Goomba. A fat Goomba, no less. Bowser had just about enough of it. Of everything. His body screamed at him to lie down – to rest, just for a little. But he wasn't a quitter. He wouldn't let Fawful and his stupid mushroom and his stupider pig beat him. He was the King of the Koopas, and he would _not _give up – even if it killed him.

"_A great beast slouches by."_

Bowser stopped in his tracks, looking around for the source of the voice. It didn't sound like any Goomba he had ever met, that's for sure, but there weren't even any Chuboombas around.

"_It is you, who is he."_

There was _no one_ around. "What? What is this?" growled Bowser. Just what he needed – _another_ voice in his head.

"_Ah. Search not, for I am not there,"_ said the voice, confirming Bowser's suspicions.

Starlow, however, was growing ever more confused. She had sensed another presence, like when Wisdurm responded to her calls, but no voice spoke to her. As far as she knew, Bowser had just struck up a conversation with thin air. She was worried. She didn't even try to let the Mario Bros. in on what was happening – no sense in them fretting about their host's sanity slippage too. Gathering her wits, Starlow dived into Bowser's energy pool once again, hoping that if she tracked down that phantom presence, she could keep Bowser grounded. She knew his energy stability was a losing battle, but she didn't think it would take a turn for the worse so quickly.

Little did she know, but Bowser wasn't losing his mind at all. _"How would one describe me?"_ continued the very real voice in his head. _"I am…the voice within. I am your consciousness… I am above, and all around. I am all that is you. A consciousness bound to you, as you are to me. Shall we travel together?"_

Bowser had enough of this. At least attitude girl didn't try to pass herself off as his inner voice. Nope, he wasn't going to put up with _this_ crap as well. "Stop talking!" he snapped, turning to walk away from the area as fast as possible.

"_Ah. So very unenlightened. Anger will get you nowhere. It matters not where you go, for I will speak my piece."_

"GAH! SHUT UP!" commanded Bowser, knocking at his head in desperation.

_Poor thing_, thought Chakron, quickly extending his thoughts to the weary Koopa once more. _"I bear you no ill will. Our minds have bonded. This is a rare thing. So rare that I will teach you."_

"Teach me what?" growled Bowser, already impatient with his latest phantom friend. "Hurry up!"

"_Smash that boulder to see. Use your inner strength,"_ instructed Chakron.

Bowser looked around. The clearing he was in was pretty bare – except for a large hole in the ground, and as the voice promised, one lone bolder. Bowser supposed he had nothing to lose – unlike the girl, at least this voice seemed to want to help him out. He walked over and broke the rock apart with one punch, revealing a strange, swirling portal that had been hidden within it.

"_And so it springs to life,"_ said Chakron, calling the portal into existence himself as he spoke. _"This is called a Chakroad. A conduit for energy waves that bond earth to space."_

Bowser growled. "Hey buddy? You make NO SENSE! Enough with the crazy talk!"

"_Fret not about the details. Just touch that Chakroad."_

Bowser hesitated. He had already gotten himself in trouble for accepting a gift that day. But there was something inviting about the swirling energy before him. Even Starlow felt it, but realizing it was affecting Bowser before he even stepped in, she recoiled from its warmth and reached out to Bowser – to warn him of the impending danger.

But the other being blocked her. Now she could sense it – a powerful energy entity, far more powerful than her, calling Bowser in.

"No!" she cried, but Bowser couldn't hear her and reached out to the Chakroad. In an instant, a wave of energy swept through his body and he was pulled into the portal. Starlow braced for the worse, but it didn't come. The other being was all around her, but it wasn't pulling Bowser apart and destabilizing the others as she had feared. Instead, it actually seemed to be bringing order to the chaos that remained. The Toad she had been working on was suddenly whole, as was another, then another, and then the last three as well. _Who are you?_ she asked. _What are you doing?_

"_I'm helping you, isn't that what you wanted?"_

_You mean, you're…_

"_A Star Sage? Yes. My name is Chakron."_

_I… Don't think we've met._

"_No, we haven't. I live in the Mushroom Kingdom."_

_Oh… Did Wisdurn ask you to help me?_

"_No. I haven't been listening to the emanations of the Star World for some time now. How the centuries fly by when you're communing with the heavens beyond…"_

_But then why…_

"_Why am I helping you? I am not helping you – I'm helping the Dragon-Koopa."_

_What?!_

"_Oh yes. I sensed the chaos within him – it crashed upon my mind as thunderous as if the cosmos itself was beckoning me to aide him. It certainly was not the Stars, oh unenlightened one. A heart such as his would not stir sympathy in the wish-granters. Sometimes I fear the Stars are losing their objectivity… Such is the way of those that watch from above, and do not listen."_

_What are you talking about?!_

"_I shall give you one lesson to help you in your trial. You must learn to listen, young Star Sprite."_ Chakron then turned his mind back to Bowser – time was relative once you've been turned into energy in a portal, but he couldn't keep the Koopa hanging in limbo forever. Besides, the girl needed to figure some things out on her own. No one had contacted him about it, but Chakron recognized a test when he saw one, and he would only interfere as much as he had to in order to preserve the future. And the hapless Koopa it all hinged upon. _"Be still in body and mind. Be one with immobility,"_ he commanded as he sorted out the worst problems with Bowser's energy. Once he was confident he had the Dragon-Koopa out of danger, he opened another Chakroad and pulled its image to the front Bowser's memory. _"This place is nice… Now we travel… With our MIIINDS!"_

Chakron watched as Bowser became solid again. The Koopa was so busy looking about at his new surroundings, he didn't even seem to notice that his energy had re-stabilized en route.

"Hey I was JUST HERE!" observed Bowser.

"_Wondrous. Thrilling. Yes. Powers of earth and space. Our journey took us to a place etched in your mind,"_ said Chakron. _"Do you understand? No. For you are unenlightened."_

"Quit messing with me!" huffed Bowser. "Take me back NOW!"

"_Anger benefits you not… Touch the Chakroad again…"_

When Bowser did as he was told, Chakron pulled him back into the energy vortex. Yes, the Koopa King was certainly out of the woods. Chakron would have liked to do more, but wisdom only came with time and effort. The girl would have time enough after her test, but she would need to work for that time now, and Chakron wasn't about to make things too easy for her. Still, he wanted to keep an eye on the Dragon-Koopa and the beings he carried within him, and fast and easy transportation was as good a bait as any to ensure periodic contact between the headstrong king and the Star Sage. _"Choose your former spot…"_ he told Bowser, feeling the Koopa conjure up the memory of the cratered clearing. _"Now we travel… With our MIIINDS!"_

Chakron's energy wasn't being nearly as invasive on the return flight, and now that she knew what was going on and what to look for, it became clear to Starlow that he was simply using energies very similar to regular Star Roads to transport Bowser. The only difference was that that warp points were swirls instead of stars, but different strokes for different folks, she guessed. And given the animosity between the Koopas and the Stars, she guessed a different interface was probably a good idea. Of course, she was flummoxed as to why _this_ Star seemed to care about Bowser – and give him free rides, no less. Maybe he was lying about not being contacted. Or maybe he was crazy and that's why he lived off by himself on the surface world. Hopefully next time she talked to Wisdurm, her mentor could answer some of her questions…

Bowser, on the other hand, was perfectly happy to take Chakron's charity for granted, and grinned approvingly as he rematerialized back where he started, beside the crater.

Chakron watched as his charge looked around. _"How amusing. Yes… You are surprised."_

"Not too shabby! Brain guy!" said the Koopa. "Take me to Bowser Castle, and make it snappy!"

Chakron smiled to himself. _No, that would be FAR too easy_. He linked up with Bowser again. _"This is beyond even me," _he lied._ "One can only travel to Chakroads one has found. If an area's Chakroad is hidden, you go there not. It is the way of the mind… When you find a Chakroad, your mind bonds to it… Then you can travel."_

Bowser scrunched his face up. "TOO MANY WORDS."

Chakron sighed. _"You are unenlightened. When you find Chakroads on your travels, touch them. You cannot find Chakroads by merely walking around. They hide their waves, their energy, their very essence. Break things to find them."_

All Bowser got from that was 'break things', but that worked for him. There _was_ one thing he would like to know, however. "Not that I care, but who are you, really?"

"_Who am I…"_ Chakron was pleased that Bowser cared enough to ask. Pity he couldn't tell him the truth. Another important lesson learned by the Stars was how to lie – it was one of the things Chakron disliked about being a Sage. Still, he had no choice: he knew Starlow wouldn't tell the truth when Bowser inevitably asked for her name, and it was the least Chakron could do to keep her stories straight before she even got a chance to try and spin them. _"I exist somewhere in this kingdom, and that is all. And now I go."_

"Hey!" Bowser called out, but no voice answered. "Hey!" he stood in the clearing, waiting for any sign of the voice, but no luck. He sighed. The voice _may_ have been excessively mellifluous in its choice of words, but it was the only friendly being Bowser had met all day. Even Kamek had been annoying, and Peach threw him out the castle… _Oh well_, he thought, _no sense wasting any more time_. With that he set off for his castle once more, pleased to see that his strength seemed to be returning. He wondered if maybe using the portal had something to do with it and smiled to himself – it was about time he had some _good_ luck for a change.


	10. Square

Chapter 10: Square

On the one hand, Starlow was grateful that Chakron had lent a hand in keeping Bowser in one piece: she didn't like admitting it, but without him, Bowser's energy could have blown apart before too long. But on the other hand, he hadn't actually done a complete job of it. Sure, he resolved the spirits of the random Toads Bowser had sucked up, but it would have been better if he had separated Peach's energy, or at least Toadsworth or Toadbert. The only reason Starlow had been working on a Toad instead of Peach was because she couldn't actually get a hold of the princess's energy – it was deeply mired in Bowser's energy, much to Starlow's disgust. Everyone knew Bowser had eyes for Peach, so she supposed she shouldn't be surprised that his twisted soul would latch onto her: he was always taking her captive in life, so why wouldn't he do so in limbo too?

All the more reason why Chakron should have gotten Peach out. He was clearly strong and skilled enough to do whatever he wanted to Bowser's energy – surely he could have saved the damsel if he wanted to. But he seemed oddly sympathetic to Bowser, so maybe he left her in the Koopa's subconscious grasp on purpose? Starlow shuddered at the thought – to think a Star Sage could be so low. The Star Sprite wanted nothing more than to get Peach out – before her stainless soul could be corrupted by Bowser's energy. But even with the extra energy and stability inside Bowser, there was no way Starlow could tackle that hurdle – not with six Toad minds in need of illusions.

There was no way she could do for them what she was doing for the Mario Bros., so she tried a different tactic. Virtual reality – the next level of fakery. Whereas Mario and Luigi's souls were actually interacting with the illusion and the embodiments of Bowser's energy (both good and bad), what she had the Toads experience was far more basic. Their energies lay dormant, with only their minds reacting to the stories beamed into their minds' eyes by the Star Sprite. She linked them up – let them talk to each other too, but no interaction, no power, just thoughts. It was harder at first, but once she got the hang of it, minding the Toads this way was a lot easier than the Marios' illusionary existence, but the humans were worth the extra effort so she didn't even consider switching them to the same system as the Toads.

In fact, she was going to have to upgrade the Toads for a bit. Mario and Luigi hadn't been privy to her or Bowser's exchanges with Chakron, but they had felt a change in the energy around them and called her forth to explain.

"Bowser found a warp point. There were some lucky side-effects," said Starlow, sticking to half-truths for now. She explained that Bowser was out of the woods, and Mario and Luigi asked if that meant it was safe to explore again.

"What do you mean?" she said, taken aback. "I never said it _wasn't_ safe."

"We could-a tell you were worried," said Luigi.

"Oh…" Starlow smiled. Such considerate boys. "Well, yeah, it was a little scary for a bit, but you're also right in that it's safe now."

"Maybe we can-a find the others," said Mario, headed for the corridor, Luigi hot on his heels, both eager to see if any other areas had opened up.

_You definitely can_, thought Starlow. The Toads had been busy in their little reality, and while it took a lot of concentration, Starlow turned their virtual square into a proper illusion and opened the door for the Mario Bros. Then she sat back and watched.

"Mr. Mario! And Mr. Luigi!" cried one of the Toads.

"Yeah!" responded Mario, excited about finding the others so easily.

"Oh ho!" called Luigi, just as happy about the new development as his brother.

"You guys also got inhaled!" exclaimed the Toad, having been informed of the situation by Starlow – disguised as an Emoglobin, lest Bowser's consciousness actually did manage to penetrate the Toads' shared delusion. "Phew! That's kind of a relief! With you guys in here, we might actually have a shot."

Mario and Luigi looked around the room. It was a fairly cavernous place, with three areas cornered off and watched over by three more Toads. But no sign of Toadbert, Toadsworth or, more troublingly, Princess Peach.

"Where are Peach and the-a rest of you?" asked Mario.

"What? All the others?"

"Mm-hmm."

"I think all the Toads Bowser inhaled are gathered here…" said the Toad.

Mario raised his eyebrow – Toadsworth and Toadbert weren't there, but he didn't bring it up and let the Toad speak. "Folks are doing what they can. Y'know, scavenging stuff from inside Bowser, opening shops… …Problem is, this isn't exactly a high-traffic shopping zone."

Mario and Luigi shared an aside glance. _Shops?_ The Toads were really setting up shops inside Bowser?

"Everyone got pretty antsy, sitting around doing nothing…" explained the Toad, noticing the looks on the brothers' faces. "Opening up these shops was a nice diversion, y'know? So c'mon, you guys, give us a lift and buy something, huh? Me, I'm gonna go scout around and see if I can't find some more useful stuff."

"Oh yeah."

With the plumber's assent, the Toad scurried away down the hallway Mario and Luigi had just entered from. The Bros. didn't _really_ want more gear, but maybe the Toad would come across something more important on his adventure. Or should they say, _someone_.

Of course, as soon as the Toad left the area he vanished from the illusion and was back in his head reality. No Peach in there, and only fake items that only existed because the Toads themselves subconsciously willed them into existence. It was a clever little trick Starlow had set up there – she was quite proud of it.

The Mario Bros. took a quick look around. One Toad was hawking supplies, and another was trying to sell the stuff dripping out of that "kind-hearted Emoglobin" the Bros. had seen earlier. They were a little surprised to see it contentedly captive in Toad Square, but they were still too wary to try the so-called 'juice' it produced – and the Toad's confession that it was an acquired taste didn't help his case. The last Toad told them that Toadbert _had_ been there, but like the first Toad they talked to, he had gone off on an 'errand' and hadn't come back. The Toad was worried, but listening in on the conversation, Starlow knew he needn't be. Toadbert was simply taking his time exploring. Rather than trying to keep up with him, like the treasure-hunting Toads, Starlow let Toadbert run his own show, and so far he was doing a great job at keeping himself entertained as his wandering mind invented all sorts of passages and structures to explore. The anatomy he was envisioning was imaginative to say the least – Starlow couldn't help but wonder what his _actual_ dreams were like.

At least Toadsworth's wanderings were nice and subdued – his old mind hadn't taken well to the news that he and the other Toads had been inhaled by Bowser and he ran off before anyone really got their wits about themselves: they hadn't even realized that he had been present at all. Once separated from the group, the old Toad quickly got himself lost and wandered about aimlessly, finding neither treasures nor energy blobs, just empty tunnels stretching on and on. In his mind, he was in a maze of capillaries, and there he remained – safe and sound.

Of course, Bowser didn't know how to leave well enough alone, and just as his energy manifested itself in Mario and Luigi's illusions, so too did the Koopa King butt his way into the Toads' shared dream. As well as the benevolent Emoglobin that, for reasons beyond Starlow's understanding, sought out companionship with the Toads, regular Emoglobin apparitions appeared to the Toads. It made Starlow glad she introduced them to the idea herself first – she knew how skiddish Toads were, and the last thing she needed was them panicking up a storm.

Fortunately, for the most part, Emoglobins were all that bothered them – unlike the Marios, their energy wasn't nearly as intrusive as they dreamed the hours away, and the more malicious aspects of Bowser's energy left them alone. The exception, of course, was Toadbert, who's adventurous mind did manage to cause rippled in Bowser's energy. Fortunately his timetraveling escapades during the Shroob invasion had left Toadbert a cut above other Toads when it came to guts – literally, in this case, as hostile pieces of Bowser's soul wormed their way into his visions. The Toad wasn't foolish enough to try and take on the blobs of energy, but he was calm as he ran away, and posed no threat to the balance of powers within the Koopa King.


	11. Cube

**A/N****: I couldn't help but inject some real _français_ into Broque's Fringlish dialogue, but French is my second language and I was never especially great at it, so if I got anything wrong, _je suis désolée_, and please let me know so I can fix it!**

Chapter 11: Cube

Beyond the Chakroad was another little cave, from which Bowser emerged to find himself on a beach. A nearby sign informed him it was a place called Plack Beach, which Bowser blearily remembered to be on the Mushroom Kingdom coast just west of the Sky Land mountains. That meant that his castle was to the northwest, but a large mountain blocked the direct route, so Bowser decided to stick to the sand and take the long way around. He had had enough climbing for the day.

Annoyingly, the end of the beach was pretty rocky in and of itself. There were a few hostile critters around too, but Bowser was feeling much better, and _these_ Chuboobas and their Pokey-like, Virus-spewing Toothy friends didn't prove _too_ difficult to waste. Another thing Bowser came across was a raft next to a sign proclaiming the benefits of something called 'Squid Fit'. _'Soon you'll have the shapely hips of a squid'?_ Bowser scoffed as he read the sign. _Stupid Toads – squids don't have hips_. He tried the raft nevertheless, however – surfing around was actually a bit easier than clambering over the rocks. He looked a lot cooler doing it, too. Not that there was anyone around to admire his already beefy bod.

Well, at first, anyway, for Bowser had hardly gone very far along Plack Beach when a voice called out to him once again. "Allô!" The Koopa stopped in his tracks, dreading what came next. "Ah! Allô over zere! Monsier Turtle Bits!"

To Bowser's surprise, this voice wasn't actually disembodied, as he caught sight of a figure on an island just offshore. Of course, squinting across the water, it seemed to Bowser like the guy speaking to him was… made of blocks? Now he was wondering if this really _was_ an improvement.

Seeing Bowser facing him, the block creature jumped up and down to really get his attention. "Ah, sweet monsieur! 'Elp me! I need 'elp! Helpez-moi, s'il vous plaît!

"Huh?" Bowser took a deep breath and yelled back across the water. "What language is that? And what are you doing there?"

"Ah! Bonjour!" called the block man. "Why are you… Non! I am too rude! I am Broque Monsieur! I ask zat you look upon zis! I was cleaning zee collection, but… Disaster, it struck moi! Zee bridge to zee beach, it fell into zee water! Monsieur! You 'ave zee odor of a gentleman! Ah, oui! It wafts! And a gentleman 'elps zee needy! Surely you 'ave zis credo, oui?"

"BAH HA HA!" guffawed Bowser, turning to leave. "Whatever you're smelling isn't me, pal! I don't do charity! I'm too busy for this!"

"STOP, I AM BEGGING YOU!" cried Broque. "Good monsieur Turtle Bits! You who I am not smelling!"

Bowser rolled his eyed and turned back towards the figure on the island. "Enough with the yelling! Why would I help you?"

Broque was ready for this reaction. "But 'ow can you say zis thing? You 'ave very much to gain! I will give you zee gratitudes!"

"What? Gratitudes?"

Broque smiled knowingly. "Ah! Your interest, it piques? Zis is wonderful! Marvelous! Oui, a hot block spirit dwells in you, Monsieur Turtle Bits! A blazing, fiery block spirit…" He lapsed into silence for a moment, gazing across the water at the Dragon-Koopa. Yes, there was certainly something inside him: he could sense it even from his remote perch. What he had been told was true. "Oui," he continued. "You 'ave zee power… Look upon zis." He pulled out a green block from his hammerspace and held it aloft. "How is zis for gratitudes, honh? I give you zis glorious thing! Zee hot block spirit cries out from your belly, and it cries for zis block! It is born for you!"

Bowser could barely see the object in Broque's hand – but it looked suspiciously like… "What is wrong with you… It's just a stupid block!"

"Ah! Your tongue, bit upon it!" admonished Broque. "Zis block is magnifique! Do not utter one ill word to zis block! Zee block collectors, zey pay one million coins for zis, honh? It is so very rare, oui!" One of kind, in fact. Specially made for Bowser by Broque himself that very day. "You will know zis if you hit it! Oui, you will be in for zee big surprises, Monsieur Turtle Bits!"

"Hmmm… Surprises, huh…" Bowser thought he had had enough surprises for one day, but the Chakroad thing had turned out okay, and he _was_ always on the lookout for new riches… He shrugged. "Fine… What do I do?"

"Ah! Thank you! Merci! You are a gentleman, après all! Look upon zis! Zis petit island, it is floating in zee ocean. A surprise to you, non? You see zis rope on zee beach? If you are to pull on zis, you will movez zee entire island!"

"Pbbth! Just pull on the rope? Gimme a challenge, pal!" Not even caring about the fact that real island don't actually float, or considering how the rope stretching from the unnatural land mass to the beach might be a little _too_ convenient, Bowser marched over and picked it up. "Have a taste of Bowser power!" he roared as he started yanking on the rope. The island didn't move, but someone _did_ feel the pull. This was the first time Bowser had exerted himself since Chakron restored enough energy to actually put it to good use, and Starlow was surprised when it sent ripples through his power reserves. Of course, once she thought about it, it made sense that Bowser's strength went beyond his muscles – he was strong, yes, but disproportionately. Another gift of his draconian lineage, she supposed.

But it wasn't doing him much good now. The 'island' wasn't budging, and Bowser was gonna cause himself some problems trying to change that. Starlow supposed she would have to step in, but telling Bowser he was too weak and to stop before he hurt himself probably wouldn't go over well. Besides, there was some innocent guy who needed help. Some guy who couldn't swim, apparently. But it wasn't Starlow's place to judge, so she focused her thoughts on how she could help Bowser out. He needed a quick power boost – just to overcome inertia and get the island moving. But where could she get it from?

Well, she definitely wasn't going to try and ring up _Chakron_ for some juice – that's for sure. She doubted Wisdurm would help either – she was good for advice, but _actual_ help? Not so much. Especially not for this misadventure, for some reason. Starlow didn't get it. This wasn't a normal assignment – she was in real danger. You'd think Wisdurm'd help a little _more_, instead of making her rely on a chance encounter with some crazy hermit Sage. At this point, Starlow didn't really want to contact Wisdurm _at all_: she'd show that stuck-up butterfly that she could figure it out herself. If she struggled and persevered, maybe Wisdurm would even feel bad about making her go it alone.

But _how_? How could she help Bowser – as weird as that sounded to her. She wracked her brain for a quick solution, and it was then that she remembered Wisdurm's saying earlier. _It's all Bowser soup down there..._ That was it! Mario, Luigi and Bowser were still connected. _Lots of feedback and mixxxxxing._ So far, Mario and Luigi had been at the receiving end of Bowser's energy – and it wasn't so much mixing as attacking, but the Toads _were_ getting energy from that Emoglobin, and Starlow knew it could go the other way as well. She'd give Bowser an energy boost from Mario and Luigi!

Hit with inspiration, Starlow quickly crafted a new illusion and linked her mind up with Mario and Luigi. "Something's happening to Bowser's arm!" At that, they dropped what they were doing in Toad Square and dashed back into the corridor, following Starlow to her latest open door. "This is Bowser's arm muscle…" she explained as they entered the new area. It was small but effective, with a big energy interface along the far wall. "It's reacting somehow! He must be carrying something or trying to pull something…" she didn't like playing dumb, but she hadn't bothered letting them listen in on Bowser's raucous exchange with that Broque character, having thought it was unimportant until he picked up the rope, and she didn't feel like explaining in full right that instant. Time was of the essence.

Luigi jumped up closer to the energy wall and peered at the canon-like object Starlow had placed before it. She pretended to investigate it too. "Some kind of switch, huh?"

"Huh…" mused Luigi, before pulling out his hammer and giving the switch a good whack.

_Perfect_, thought Starlow as it fired out an energy ball, which ricocheted back to the red-clad plumber. "Mario! Look out!" But he was already ready for it, and whacked it back into the energy barrier with his own hammer, transferring a small portion of energy to Bowser in the process.

"Whoa! Feels like I just got a power boost!" commended Bowser, not that Starlow needed the confirmation.

"What? What happened?" She pretended to be astonished as more balls shot out and were obediently batted by the Mario Bros.

"HAAAAARGH!" roared their host. The muscle before the Mario Bros. was an illusion, but Bowser's actual muscles were coursing with new power. It was only a matter of time before he had enough to finally shift the island, and Starlow figured she might as well let the Mario Bros. in on what they were doing – to an extent.

"I think that stimulated Bowser's muscles!" she said, making her illusion swell and pulsate to mark the brothers' progress. "They're getting huge! Hey! Try hitting some more of those light balls!" And hit them they did, until with a final roar, Bowser yanked the floating island free of whatever shoal it had been lodged in. Once it got started, that's all it needed and Bowser staggered backwards as the rope went slack, the island racing towards him with a sudden burst of momentum. It hit the shore with a crash and sent Broque and the blocks around him flying.

"I get it now… If we stimulate Bowser's body like just now… He appears to manifest some sort of extreme strength…" She explained to the Mario Bros., knowing full well that _they_ were the true manifestations.

Unaware of just who had helped him, Bowser pushed himself to his hands and knees, panting as he looked at the ex-island embedded in the beach. "Haah… Haah… OH YEAH! FEEL IT!" Quite pleased with himself, he got to his feet and walked up to Broque, who had landed upside down in the sand.

"Hmmmm, strange…" joked the block man. "Zis world, it appears to be upside down… But zat is no matter. You 'elped me, and for zis I salute you!"

"Enough blabbing, buddy! Make with the surprise block!" demanded Bowser.

"Ah, but of course! Zee block! From moi! Such a fine block! We sing the song of block!" he pulled out the promised reward and held it up to Bowser. "Pour vous!"

Bowser took it, but as he looked it over, his expression darkened. "…This is just a normal block! No surprise! What gives?!"

Broque waggled his finger at the Koopa. "Your tongue, bite upon it! Non! Zat LOOKS like a normal block! Zat is what is so devious about my little block. So devious! Zis is actually a Vacuum Block. You hit zis block, and you inhale whatever lies before you!" Of course, the power of inhalation was already inside Bowser, courtesy of Fawful, but the Koopa didn't know that – and he didn't _need_ to know. Glossing over those sticky details, Broque continued with his sales pitch. "Say you use zis in battle, honh? Ah! What is zis?! You inhale zee enemy with bravado! Très bien!"

"Whoa, whoa, INHALE an enemy?!" Bowser knew Fawful had made him inhale things uncontrollably before. He didn't know _why_ or what he had sucked down earlier, but if turning Bowser into an uncontrollable vacuum was Fawful's idea of a useful tool in his crazy takeover scheme, being able to weaponize inhalation and maintain control over it sounded definitely sounded promising to the Koopa King. "I can do that in a battle?

"Ah, but of course, it is simple! Come, let us try zis out!" Before Bowser could reconsider, Broque sprang over him and landed on his feet. He flipped his head upside-down, turning his moustache into a set of thick, angry eyebrows, while his old eyebrows took the place of his moustache. "You! You will submit to zee power of zis magnificent block, and you will do so NOW!" commanded Broque, waiting only long enough for Bowser to put the Vacuum Block in his hammerspace. Broque was glad – he had been worried he'd have to explain how to use the block, but it appeared that Bowser was old hat at power augmentation artifacts.

"We begin right zis second!" announced Broque. "Zis is showtime, oui! Now, if you use zat Vacuum Block, you inhale zee small monsters! Oui, when you attempt to inhale, zee Vacuum Block reacts so very intensely! Now you choose zee Vacuum right zis instant!" Bowser was a natural – in no time, he had figured out how to activate his latest power, with the block providing control to the residual effects of the Vacuum Shroom Bowser had eaten earlier that day. "It… it is… INCROYABLE! Oui, zis is zee power of zee amazing Vacuum Block! Monsieur! Inhale me!"

Bowser was still getting used to the ability – otherwise he might have stopped when he heard Broque's last words, but the block man had already been lifted off his feet before Bowser realized what was happening. "MAGNIFIQUE!" exclaimed Broque as he was sucked into Bowser's hammerspace. Starlow felt him coming down, but it was clearly different than what had transpired at Peach's Castle, as Broque's energy didn't destabilize at all. In fact, he dropped straight into the illusion Starlow had conjured for Mario and Luigi, completely unfazed by the whole ordeal.

"Zut alors, zis is a surprise!" he exclaimed, catching sight of the Mario Bros. "Messieurs inside zee monsieur… How are you, honh?"

"Oh yeah!" replied Mario and Luigi in unison, but it was clear Broque had only been being polite when he engaged them, and had no interest in pursuing an actual conversation.

"I cannot pass zee time, for I am training zee big monsieur about zee block tricks, oui?" he quickly explained. "Allow moi to go back outside. Do not bother, s'il vous plaît!" To everyone's astonishment, the block man then hurried over to the nearest wall and began to climb.

That was all Starlow needed to see, and she hastily opened a link between her and Broque. _WAIT! Who are you? How are you doing that? WHAT are you doing?_

"_My my, quelque questions, mademoiselle," _responded Broque. He had exited the illusion, but he kindly paused in his ascent through the ether of Bowser's energy to humour Starlow.

_Sorry, but me and my friends and some others are kinda trapped in Bowser's body, and here you come dropping in and climbing out like it's nothing…_

"_Ah yes. Many more will be dropping down in the near future – I'll tell you zat. But it is not like what happened before: zey will not hurt zee big monsieur, but help him by becoming fodder for his energy, oui?"_

_Really? Great… But how do you know about what's going on? Did Chakron send you? Or was it Wisdurm? Or…_

"_Chakron? Is he, how you say, getting involved again? Good for him – he's been up on his mountain for far too long."_

_I kinda figured that._

"_Pardon?"_

_Uh, nevermind. Listen, like I said before, my friends and I are kinda trapped – I don't suppose you can tell me how to get out of here?_

"_Non, I am afraid I cannot, mademoiselle. It is beyond you. Moi? I am using zee borrowed power today, as well as my own savoir-faire."_

_Borrowed from where?_

"_The Stars, ma cherie! Where else? You see, I was a Sage des Étoile for un miller d'années, mais it gets to you, zee surface. Oh, you should see zee state of mon ami Kuzzle: he 'as aged too much. I am only youthful because I had the love of a woman to support me through zee years. She, who gave up zee universe pour moi! Oh, but le grand amour is cruel, and I could not go on as a Sage des Étoile. Now it is zee blocks zat keep my surface life agréable."_

_A 'Sahje days et-wall'? Sahje… Sage? You mean Sage? You used to be a Star Sage?!_

"_Oui oui! But I have not forgotten how to handle zee power. And a good thing too, because late zis morning ma ancienne étudiante Wisdurm contacted me. "_

_Wisdurm?_

"_Oui. She studied under me in zee past. I even taught her la belle langue! She said, 'Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur Broque. Est-ce que vous aidez ma étudiante? Elle est à l'intérieur d'une grande tortue avec un grand problème. À cause d'une condition d'énergie, ils ont besoin d'aide. Votre aide. Je sais que vous n'êtes plus un Sage, mais c'est très important que la tortue ne meure pas. Il y a une profétie. Maintenant, une force dangereuse se réveille…' But I say too much."_

Starlow's head was spinning. She didn't know Wisdurm spoke French – Starlow sure didn't. Not even trying to guess at what the block man had been nattering on about _en français_, she cut to the chase. _Look, can you help us or not?_

"_I have already helped you as much as I can and am allowed to. Now, one last thing. If you talk to Chakron again, please tell him I am planning to visit avec Kuzzle next Tuesday, oui? Assuming we all survive, of course. Au revoir, mademoiselle Esprit des Étoile!"_

_Wait? What do you mean by that? 'Surviving'? Hello!_

But Broque was done chatting, and was hurriedly making his way out of Bowser. After swallowing the block man, Bowser had frozen in shock, fearing the worse. Why hadn't he learned his lesson before? Vacuuming things up was NOT good if _you're_ the vacuum. In his defense, he still couldn't remember what exactly had happened to him, but still.

Suddenly he felt it starting – an awful sensation in his gut, rising upwards, forcing itself into his throat and making him gag and spit out… Broque!

"Monsieur Turtle Bits, you inhale like zee tornado… What a vacuum…" said the block man, completely unaffected by his journey to the center of Bowser and back.

Bowser simply stared at him, still surprised, and with a bit of a sore throat, but Broque wasn't going to go easy on him.

"Now zen… Your block tricks are almost parfait, honh? Let us continue! UN! DEUX! TROIS!"


	12. Stone

Chapter 12: Stone

The battle against Broque wasn't difficult, and soon he called it to a close. "STOP! PARFAIT! You have zee mastery of zee block tricks, oui. Zis battle is OVER!" He flipped his head back right-side-up. "Ah, how was zis? Nice, honh? Zee magnificent Vacuum Block! Zee color! Zee gloss! Zee feel! We are not worthy of zis block! Who dares say zis is not so? And you, Monsieur Turtle Bits, you became a block collector after seeing zis block, oui? Alors, let us meet again, honh? Until zen, good-byes to you!"

His job done, Broque then walked away, Bowser watched him go, then continued on his own way. He vaguely remembered coming to Plack Beach before. Usually he spent his time in the Mushroom Kingdom going after Peach, but every now and then he decided to go for a tear around the countryside instead. He liked his homeland, but sometimes the constant cloud-cover got tiresome. It was one of the reasons he wanted to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom so badly. Traipsing around their sunny fields and beaches was something he never got to do back in the Koopa Kingdom, and while he tried to keep a low profile during his non-kidnapping forays into the Mushroom lands, he usually couldn't help but stir up some sort of mischief.

Walking past a purple, coral-covered house on a rocky outcropping, Bowser got the feeling that some of said mischief had been made right there on Plack Beach. Be he couldn't remember exactly what, and continued on. He was already about halfway around the mountain when he came upon a pair of torches next to a strange statue.

"Hey! What's this thing?" he asked aloud. "It's some weird statue!"

Her interest piqued, Starlow linked up with Bowser, letting the Mario Bros. in on the exchange. "A weird statue on the beach… Might be the Sea Pipe Statue," she mused.

"The Sea Pipe Statue?" repeated Bowser. "Sounds dumb. What is it?"

"A statue honoring a hero of the sea," explained Starlow. It was one of her favourite stories – about a Star Sage that took the form of a Blooper and saved the sea creatures from an evil water spirit that had caused fearsome maelstroms wherever it went in its insatiable search for sunken treasures.

"Ah, a hero, huh? So that means… I'm the model!" guffawed Bowser. Starlow rolled her eyes at his arrogance. It didn't even make sense – sure, Koopas were turtle-like, but how could a fire-breathing sub-dragon be the hero of the sea? She doubted Bowser even knew the story.

Bowser frowned when he saw the true subject of the statue. "HEY! IT'S UGLY!" He always hated Bloopers. They tasted bad and they always made messes with their ink. The energy boost from before had worn off, but Bowser was still fired up from battling Broque and the various other beach monsters, and some wanton destruction still sounded like fun. With a smirk on his snout, Bowser started punching at the ugly Blooper statue – just for the hell of it.

Sensing the change in the energy environment and hearing the thud of knuckles on rock, Starlow realized what was going on. Bowser just loved trying to tick her off, didn't he? "Wait! Wait! No violence!" she shouted.

"Hmph! My eyes are much more manly than that!" growled Bowser, thinking back to a time when Peach told him his big sad Blooper eyes weren't gonna win her over to his side. Suddenly the statue flashed with white light. Startled, Bowser backed away, watching as the statue began to shake. "Whoa! This thing is moving!"

"What?!" Starlow frowned. "It's moving? That's not possible!"

As Bowser stared in shock, the statue turned blue, its eyes flashing yellow and its green pipes extending into flailing arms. "Hey! What's the story with this crazy statue? It's going nuts!"

It was then that a familiar voice cut through the air. "I HAVE CHORTLES!" Bowser turned to see a UFO designed to resemble Fawful's grinning face floating into the clearing. A speaker enclosed in a mechanical set of teeth was lowered from the UFO and began broadcasting. "It is I who added the nuts to that statue!"

"That voice!" growled Bowser.

"I HAVE CHORTLES!" cackled Fawful over the speaker. "Your plan that I laugh at now makes for more laughing! You are wanting your castle? You are not getting there!"

"OH, YES I AM! Look, pal, I can tell you wanna fight, but I'm in no mood. Take me to my castle right now!" demanded Bowser.

"You have the impatience… You must stop and sample the sprinklies in life's salad bar. I say no to your rushing! Time instead for some playing with a Fawfulized statue!" The speaker retracted and the UFO flew off, leaving Bowser alone with the crazed statue, which was now flailing about even more than before.

"Looks like we have no choice. Let's deal with that statue!" ordered Starlow.

"GWAHAHA! Aw, I was all fired up to let Fawful have it! I'll take you instead!" roared Bowser. Attitude Girl was wrong – he _did_ have a choice, but lucky for her, he chose to pulverize the statue. He charged at the thing, opening with the strongest punch he could muster, but it didn't seem to do any damage. Taken aback, Bowser took a few steps back, just as the Blooper part of the statue separated from the body and hopped into one of the pipes. The other pipe launched it into the air and it came flying towards Bowser, smashing him in the face.

That made him mad, and before the Blooper could settle itself, he called upon his vacuum powers and sucked it down. Unfortunately for him, the Blooper wasn't nearly as harmless as Broque or the other creatures he had tried vacuuming up as he continued his beach wanderings, and even though Starlow quickly captured it in her illusion, it was quick to start attacking Bowser's power. In the illusion this manifested as it drilling into the floor, and in reality, it felt like pure pain and Bowser's eyes flew open in shock. He clutched at his belly, worried that he had made a big mistake, but the pain stopped mercifully quickly: inside him, Mario and Luigi had engaged the enchanted stone Blooper.

The Blooper fought back, however, and the Bros. had to use their hammers for defense as well as offence. At one point, Luigi beat the attacking squid back to hard, it went flying clear out of the scope of Starlow's illusion, becoming momentarily instable and blasting out of Bowser's hammerspace.

Once more wracked with pain, Bowser retched as the Blooper came flying back out the way it came in. Both were affected negatively by the ordeal, with the Blooper losing control of itself and crunching into the side of its body. Bowser was the first to recover and quickly made a move on the immobile statue – betting that the vulnerably exposed Blooper would take damage. He was correct, but the statue soon recovered as well and the Blooper pulled free, knocking Bowser away as it dived for the pipes once again. But Bowser was ready this time and knocked the Blooper out of the air when it launched itself at him. Already severely drained by its brief journey through Bowser's energy pool and the skirmish with the Mario Bros. therein, the Koopa King's attack was the last straw, and when the Blooper returned to its place atop the body of the statue, its energy gave out and the entire thing turned back to cold, grey stone. Fawful's strength was technology, not magic, and his spell had failed already.

Which was perfectly fine with Bowser. "BWAHAHA! He seriously thought he could stop Bowser with this toy?"

He turned to leave, however Fawful had left one last surprise, as a row of thick trees magically erupted at the mouths of the paths Bowser needed to take to get out of the clearing. Bowser punched at the trees, but they didn't give. "Bah!" he snorted in frustration, looking around for another way out – but the entire clearing was ringed with more trees or steep rocks. Suddenly there was a flash of light behind him and he turned back to the Sea Pipe Statue, frustration bubbling up inside of him. "Again?!" he moaned as the statue began to shake. But rather than springing to life, the statue's original function as a fountain was restored, and torrents of suppressed water exploded out of the two pipes.

"What's with this water?" demanded Bowser, watching as the fountain's intensity decreased to a mere cascade. "…Actually, I am kinda thirsty," he then muttered to himself, impulsively walking up to the statue. A tentative sniff told him that it was indeed fresh water and he opened his mouth wide, gulping down the cool drink.


	13. Water

Chapter 13: Water

Inside Bowser, his energy was reeling from the invasion by the Sea Pipe Statue. Its fight with Mario and Luigi had provided Bowser with some more energy, but unlike Broque, the Blooper's escape from his hammerspace had done some damage. Starlow quickly worked to fix it, but now she could see why Broque hadn't been willing to help her try and escape – if done wrong, it could prove disastrous, for sure. In fact, while the extra energy was appreciated, Starlow was worried that Bowser's reckless inhaling might result in more accidents. She needed to give him another alternative, and with a sigh she realized there was only one thing to do.

Taking advantage of Bowser's guzzling, she conjured up a new area and brought the Mario Bros. over. As they stepped through the threshold, she filled the area up with water, letting it move a barrier out of the way for the plumber. "Look! Over there! The wall that blocked the way! The water made it float up! Let's swim over and look!"

They had barely passed the barrier when Bowser's voice floated down from above. "Bloooooooorg… I feel all…sloshy. I think I drank too much…"

_Crap_, thought Starlow. She had based the entire area on Bowser being filled with water and Toadsworth had managed to slip into the maze ahead of the Mario Bros., preventing her from changing it. She knew he wasn't going to stand around drinking all day, but she didn't think he was going to _announce_ it when he stopped and forgot to stop the Mario Bros. from hearing everything filtering through from the outside world. She could work around it, she supposed, but it would be easier if Bowser just cooperated.

"…Oh, I get it. When Bowser drinks, the water flows into his belly… But when he stops, the water level drops back down."

Mario didn't seem to care about such details. "We should-a search this area for-a Princess Peach."

"…Huh? You think Princess Peach might be up ahead?"

Mario nodded.

The Mushroom Princess's energy still eluded Starlow, but she played along. "…You may be right. Let's press on and keep our eyes peeled. Of course, to do that, we'll need Bowser's cooperation!" she turned her eyes to the ceiling and linked up with Bowser. "HEY!"

Bowser had been standing next to the fountain wiping the residual moisture on his lips when Attitude Girl's voice echoed in his head. "What?!" he growled.

"Can you drink some more water for me?"

Bowser snorted. "What? No! Why?"

Starlow should've expected him to make things difficult. "Uh… Um… Your body's in rough shape. There's like…filth and crust!" she lied. "Water might wash it out?"

Bowser wrinkled his snout in disgust. "What? Filth? CRUST?!"

"Oh yeah!"

_Stupid Fawful_, thought Bowser darkly, _wrecking my perfect health with that garbage mushroom of his, I'm sure._ He had to figure out how to get back to peak condition, but stupid Kamek was nowhere to be seen, nor were any other minions. Bowser didn't want to wait for one of his slackers to show up and give him some healing potion, so it looked like Attitude Girl was his only option. "And you… You think you can fix me up in there?"

"Of course!"

At least she was being helpful _now_. Bowser decided to see exactly how much he could get out of the situation. "You can get my flame back?!" he asked.

Starlow smirked. That was her plan all along – if Bowser could burn stuff again, hopefully he wouldn't be so quick to suck everything down. She would've done it even if he hadn't brought it up, but _now_, if Bowser thought she was granting him a request, maybe he'd continue to play nice in the future. "Definitely!" she chirped.

"You can make me better than Mario?!" grinned Bowser.

"Totally!" She turned back to the Bros. "Or not…" she muttered, winking at them.

"BWAHAHA! It's a deal! If you're for real, I'll drink as much as you want!" He immediately turned back to the fountain, plunging his mouth into the water.

"Phew… All right! Let's move on!" commanded Starlow, and the group moved further into the waterlogged illusion. As well as Emoglobins, Goombules and Spike Blops, and a new club-wielding blob called a Protobatter, Bowser's energy was now taking the form of Bloopers too. Starlow suspected that it was because the Blooper statue had left some sort of imprint on his power, but she wasn't too concerned about it.

There was also a weird bone creature they encountered, accompanied by an Emoglobin. "The hungry soul needs globin…" it said. "The hungry Chombone needs more, and so out it leaps upon that which it craves. O wildly ravenous Chombone! How can a globin coax you out? By pushing against that which floats!"

As the Mario Bros. obediently procured a ball of energy and charged it up for the creature, Starlow watched with curiosity. It seemed Bowser's body was figuring out that its mustachioed parasites were actually giving it energy, not taking it. Of course, as the Chombone pounced on the proffered energy and broke a shortcut through Starlow's illusion, she saw that the next area was still filled with hostile energy blobs. But with a mind like Bowser's running the show, Starlow supposed she shouldn't be surprised his energy still insisted on putting up a fight, even when dealing with _helpful_ energy interlopers.

As the Bros. fought their way through the area, there were times when Starlow had Bowser step out of the water so that she could have the water drop and move objects in the illusion. She figured he could use _some_ breaks from chugging down the water – he was a pain, yes, but she wasn't going to be cruel about it. Truth be told, Bowser had actually given up on swallowing copious amounts of water pretty quickly, and was simply standing in the spray of the fountain with his mouth hanging open, letting only a little water trickle down his throat. He was surprised Attitude Girl wasn't giving him an earful, actually, but the fact that she didn't notice or care worked just fine for him. He didn't mind taking a breather either, and while the noonday sun was hot, the water kept him cool as he rested, letting his eyes glaze over and his mind wander, planning out all the horrible revenge he'd wreak once he caught a certain cape-clad Beanish boy.

As the Mario Bros. neared Toadsworth, Starlow had the water drain. She had shielded the old Toad from that particular aspect of her illusion, figuring it'd upset him too much. She was just glad she had been able to contain him not long after he made his way into the area and began scrambling about – he was surprisingly nimble and managed to get farther than she had anticipated despite the obstacles that the Bros. used the water to navigate.

Catching sight of Toadsworth behind the narrow horizontal bars that penned him in, Mario and Luigi hurried over, hopping in excitement. Toadsworth followed suit when he saw them approach, rushing up to his side of the bars. "Masters Mario and Luigi! You're hale and hearty!"

"Yeah!" smiled Mario.

"Hah!" echoed Luigi.

"After that great lout inhaled me, I awoke a bit addlepated… I walked hither and thither, and now I've become quite stuck!" explained Toadsworth, watching the Bros. eye the cage that had formed around him.

Starlow knew that would be the least of his concerns once he learned of who else was stuck in there besides him, the Bros. and the Toads he had left behind. Rather than leaving him blissfully unaware, she decided to break the news to him and entered the illusion. "Hey! Where's Princess Peach? Isn't she with you?"

"WHAT?! The princess?! Don't tell me she was inhaled as well!" cried Toadsworth, his eyes wide and his face flushed.

"Yes… Bowser got everyone. Ugh, we're in a real fix. Even Toadsworth doesn't know where the princess is…" Even as the lie rolled off her tongue, Starlow was finding it ever harder to play dumb on the matter.

"Horrors… The princess…" moaned Toadsworth, tears welling in his eyes. "It rends the heart! All alone within Bowser's body… On her own amid such filth… DEAR PRINCESS!"

"We have to help-a Toadsworth," insisted Mario, looking at the uncontrollably sobbing Toad with concern.

Starlow turned to him. "Huh? Oh, yeah, right. We need to get Toadsworth out of here. He's lost it." She was a bit taken aback by how violently Toadsworth's reaction has been. Sure, he practically raised Peach himself while her father was busy travelling and dealing with foreign affairs and whatnot, but still, it's not like her vanishing was an unusual occurrence…

"Mm-hmm," nodded Mario.

Behind Starlow, Toadsworth was now huddled in a ball. "The shame…" he blubbered, still weeping.

Starlow was now regretting how sturdy she had made the cage. "The thing is, this barrier looks tough. I doubt even a hammer would dent it…"

"Mario!" Starlow and Mario turned to see that Luigi had backed up away from the door and was now standing beside a narrow crawlspace. He waved them over. "There's something down-a this way."

"Huh? Something's over there?" Starlow looked down the passage. "Looks like the gap's too narrow for your body size. You'll never get through…" She had made the crawlspace narrow on purpose, in order to keep Bowser's energy gremlins out, lest they freed Toadsworth or worse, eliminated the bars that separated him from them and attacked. Her intent was that _she_'d fly down and open the cage, but before she could offer, Mario gave a shout.

"Oh yeah!"

"What? You have an idea?" she asked, watching as Mario explained the plan to Luigi. After a short dialogue, they jumped up and down, shouting "Ya hoo!" in unison. Mario took his place in front of Luigi, who pulled out his hammer and promptly whacked his brother over the head. Both Bros. recalled what they had learned back in the Beanbean Kingdom and concentrated on the energy transfer that occurred when the blow hit home, turning it into a transformational burst that shrunk Mario down to half his sight. The Mini-Mario ability wasn't one they used often, but it looked like their best option for the puzzle at hand.

Starlow thought so too. "Genius! When he's that size, he can fit in narrow passages! That… Wow, you guys must really trust each other. Getting bonked with a hammer on purpose…" The magical bond between the Mario Bros. had been known to the Stars ever since they were born, but it was still something to see it in action and Starlow gazed at them in awe, snapping out of it when Mario made for the passage. "Wait, hang on!" The Bros. looked up at her in confusion. "Making Mario tiny is great, but how do you make him normal?"

Not wanting Starlow to worry, Mario looked up at Luigi. "Let's-a show her, Luigi."

"Okay," he replied. They stepped away from the passage and he swung his hammer again, returning his brother to normal.

"Oh, right… Hit Mini-Mario one more time to normalize him." Her curiosity satisfied, Starlow called a switch into existence in the passage as she distracted them. "Head into that passage! No time to lose!"

"Mm-hmmm" agreed Mario, nodding. Luigi whacked him again and the little plumber hurried down the crawlspace, pulling out his own hammer and hitting the switch at the end of the tunnel.

Instantly, the bars holding Toadsworth captive vaporized. "Huzzah! Sweet freedom!" he cried, perking right up as the Bros. ran over to him. "Master Mario! Master Luigi! My deepest thanks! I daresay Master Mario and co. will now seek the princess, hm?"

"Yeah!" said the still-tiny Mario reassuringly.

"Oh yeah!" nodded Luigi.

"Marvelous. Simply marvelous! The princess must be made safe at all costs!" said Toadsworth, acting as if his brief nervous breakdown hadn't happened at all. "Speaking of which… I should tell you, as I made my way here, I spotted a huge, flat bug by some sort of door. It was wretched, to be sure! I shudder to think of it, but if it attacked the princess…"

Luigi shook his head in horror. "No…" There was no way that could have happened. Not to Peach, not when they were so close.

Putting the thought out of his head, Toadsworth pressed on. "Righto! With that large, foul bug in the sure hands of Masters Mario and Luigi, I shall be off! I believe it would behoove us all if I were to find the other Toads and glean what I can." He started off immediately, his spirit recharged by the appearance of the Mario Bros. "Help the princess! I count upon you!" he called to them, and was off. Starlow hoped he'd find Toad Square easily this time, and conjured up a couple short-cuts to help him along.

As for the door he spoke of, the Mario Bros. had already passed it, but Starlow wanted them to collect Toadsworth before bothering with Bowser's fire, and had the door closed tight. Bowser's soul had noticed the change of plans, it seemed, for an Emoglobin had appeared beside the door, and had agitatedly blabbered away when the Marios passed by. "All things lead to globin… O precious DNA-ish door I see! Even doors have hearts. Yours cries for what goes bzzzt… Find it! Find the electric bzzzt! Reunite it with this lonely door! Oh, I must cry out! GLOBIN! The globin of it all!" Sure enough, the key Starlow had made for the door was an electrified energy ball, and with Toadsworth out of the way, the Marios set off to find it again.

It wasn't much further. After feeding a few more Chombones, they came across the key. It was a large, electric crystal called a Spangler, and as Strlow had hoped, Mario pulled it into his hammerspace. Of course, you can't really have hammerspace inside hammerspace, and that was why their hammers were so effective as conduits for energy between them and Bowser. Their brotherly bond was all they needed to make it work, but the rest of it was due to the fact that every time they sucked the hammers away, they were simply combining it with their souls themselves, with no ether of hammerspace acting as a barrier. Then, when they pulled the hammers back out, it was pure energy – supercharged from being carried within them from battle to battle, and quite able to transfer some of that energy to Bowser. Wisdurm was wrong: the situation was far more refined than Koopa "soup", and Starlow was getting to be a pretty good chef. Now the Spangler was going to supercharge Bowser once more – and let her reactivate his precious fire.

When they got back to the door, the Emoglobin was still there. "A man, a plan, a canal, globin…" Starlow thought it was kinda a funny thing for one to say, but she and the plumbers had more important things to worry about and they ignored it as it continued to ramble. "O saddened DNA-ish door I see! Who wouldn't press upon you? For in doing so, that which goes bzzzt would find its home." The Emoglobin watched as Mario pulled out the supercharged Spangler and held it up to the door. "Take it to its home, or it weeps! And its tears shall be globin!"

The Spangler worked better than Starlow could have hoped. Pure energy straight from Mario's core flooded through the doorway into Bowser's body. It was all Starlow could do to keep him from feeling it as she converted the unexpected bounty into a stockpile of illusions. If she needed to power Bowser up in a pinch, she had many more options to get the Mario Bros. involved now. She wondered why she hadn't thought of it sooner, although she supposed if she had tried it before, she might not have been ready to handle it. Bowser might not have been able to handle it either.


	14. Fire

Chapter 14: Fire

Bowser felt funny. He backed out of the fountain, a hand raised to his brow. He wondered if drinking too much water could give you a headache as he winced at the sudden twinge of pain. Maybe it was an ice-cream headache, he told himself – the water _had_ been cold.

Headache aside, he didn't think he could even another drop of after anyway, but fortunately for him, Starlow didn't order him back into the spray. He had done his part, and while she wasn't aware that her sudden burst of illusionary activity had actually caused some side-effects in her reptilian host, she supposed she owed it to him to fulfill her promise and get his fire back. Plus, she still didn't want him sucking down enemies – especially now that she had stockpiled plenty of energy from a far more agreeable source.

Unlike Bowser, Mario hadn't been negatively affected by the energy transfer at all. He had plenty more power to spare, after all, and obliviously followed Starlow through the door to the next area. She had generated a short climb for the Bros. to ensure their legs accustomed to non-aquatic usage, and at the top, the plumber twins caught sight of a pair of pipes, one in the roof, and one in the ground, with the bottom one blocked by a monstrous bug. It was another figment of Bowser's subconscious – a reason for why he couldn't breathe fire. The instability made manifest.

Well, not for long.

"Oh boy. I've seen these bugs," said Starlow, appearing in the illusion after the bug waggled its tongue at the Bros. and sending Luigi scurrying away to the back of the room. "They live in Dimble Wood," she explained. "Bowser must have inhaled it with whatever he ate. But to have gotten this big… What's it been eating?" It was partly true. The bug was clearly modeled after the Scutlets native to Dimble Wood, but Starlow knew very well it wasn't real. The threesome watched as fire swelled beneath the bug, but failed to lift it out of the way and get to the pipe above it. The bug itself may not have been Starlow's doing, but she had to hand it to herself – she had done a good job with the rest of the show. Barely keeping the smugness from her face, she continued her narration. "…Of course! This thing is blocking Bowser's flame pipe! No wonder he can't spit fire!"

Suddenly the bug lashed out with its tongue, slapping it against Starlow and pulling her into its mouth. "EEEYERP!" she screamed, unable to break free of the hold the bug had on her energy. Whatever it was, it wasn't normal – it was sick energy. Even more rotten than Bowser's regular essence. It was all Starlow could do to keep herself focused enough to keep the illusion going. If she lost it now, it wouldn't matter how good she had gotten – they'd all be doomed. Mario and Luigi and the others would go mad as the true nature of their existence within Bowser came crashing in on them. They'd dissolve into the pool, and so would the Scutlet – and Starlow would dissipate along with it. Bowser would destabilize. They'd all die and Fawful would win. The Mario Bros. didn't know it, but the entire future hinged on this seemingly average boss fight.

"Luigi!" called Mario, hurrying back to his trembling brother. "Luigi!" he repeated, circling around in front of the cowering man in green, but Luigi was curled up tight, his eyes squeezed shut. Mario didn't have time for that and hammered the ground at his brother's feet.

"Ahhh!" screamed Luigi, springing backwards and running straight at Scutlet, skidding to a stop just before being slurped by the tongue like Starlow. He backed up and pulled out his hammer, pulling himself together as Mario sprung up beside him. As if to mock them, the Scutlet pulled its tongue back in and when it came out next, it was holding a deadened Starlow. It chucked her at Luigi, who instinctively whacked her away with his hammer. Snapping to her senses, Starlow was ready to let the Scutlet – or Luigi – have it, but in an instant, the tongue was on her again and she was dragged back inside the energy monster.

Enraged, Mario and Luigi attacked the bug relentlessly, using every move in their arsenal. Fireballs and shells went flying as they dodged tongue-whips and the occasional swooping attack – courtesy of Bowser's fire sending the bug high. Outside, Bowser felt a new discomfort in his chest, coughing every now and then as his energy flashed and caused the fire bursts in the battle that raged in his ether. Starlow was struggling to keep it together, but she carried on, as did the Marios, and with a final barrage of shells, the bug exploded, leaving only Starlow in its place.

"Hoo boy!" she said sheepishly. "Shouldn't have let my guard down… I owe you guys one!"

Behind her the flames erupted from the lower pipe again, and without the corrupted mass of energy leeching away at Bowser's power, his next bought of coughing was accompanied by a burst of fire. "Whoa, what happened? My flame is back!" he shouted with glee, watching as the trees that had been standing before him burned to the ground.

"You had a bug problem! You sucked one up, and it plugged your flame pipe!" said Starlow, linking with his mind once again.

"What?! Really?!"

"We already took care of it! Calm down, will you?"

A bug problem was gross, but Bowser was just glad it was over and laughed. "GWAHAHAHA! Not too shabby! I might have to make you an honorary minion!"

"Uh…no thanks!" snorted Starlow.

"Hmph! Well, forget I offered. No one needs to know," huffed Bowser. Surprisingly, being rejected by the annoying voice in his head kinda stung. But even though he was offended, he was still curious about the girl who got his fire back. "What's your name, anyway?" he asked.

"Uh…my name?"

"Yeah. Your Name. Give me it."

"Uh… Ummmm…" Starlow hadn't expected Bowser to care enough about her to ask for her name and was taken aback. "My name is… Uh…" She couldn't tell him the truth – she couldn't remember if someone had called her by name in front of him that morning, and she didn't want to risk it. She didn't really care for the evil Koopa King knowing her personally either. In fact, she figured it'd be easier just telling him to mind his own beeswax, but in spite of herself, she suddenly blurted out a nickname from her childhood. "…CHIPPY!"

"Chippy? Weird name…"

"Yeah, a little weird…" admitted Starlow, although knew folks with _worse_ nicknames. "Look, it doesn't matter."

"Wait, hang on, Chippy! Did you just say 'we'? Who else is in there?"

Starlow, Mario and Luigi's eyes all widened.

"Huh? Uh… Did I… Did I say that?" she stammered, thinking back. _We already took care of it_. – that's what she had said. _Crap._

Fortunately, Bowser lost interest as quickly as his curiosity had arisen. "Well, whatever. The only thing that matters is Captain Flame is back, baby! He's got a fiery temper, but MAN is he a fun dude!" Bowser spat more flames, reveling in the warmth spilling from his jaws. "GWAHAHAHA! Just a little touch, and FWAAAARGH! Anybody standing in the way gets done medium rare! Maybe I'd better shake the rust off by burning these trees!"

As Bowser wandered around the clearing burning down foliage, Starlow turned to Mario and Luigi. "Well, looks like Princess Peach isn't around here, huh? Nothing we can do… I guess we might as well let Bowser do his thing. Maybe he'll create some more changes in his body environment…"

The Bros. agreed and the exhausted Starlow led them back to Toad Square to rest. She'd let the Toads handle the illusion for a bit. She needed to rest and compose herself – it had been too close a call when that Scutlet got her. She wasn't going to let her guard down again; she wasn't gonna let herself get so cocky again. Besides, Bowser displayed enough shameless swagger for the both of them.


	15. Bad Dog

Chapter 15: Bad Dog

"You again?! You just love this place, huh, blockface?"

"Oh! Monsieur Turtle Bits…" Broque turned to find Bowser walking up to him through the burning wreckage of some palm trees. "Why is poor moi here, he asks… Well… I have zee troubles. My petit pet block, he is lost to moi…" He wandered out closer to the water, calling out. "ALLOOOOOOO! MON CUTE BROGGY! COME BACK TO MOI! I AM MISSING YOU!"

"BROOF! BROOF!" Bowser and Broque turned to see a large square block dog snarling at them from behind some trees. "BROOF! BROOF!" he barked, suddenly coming out and bounding towards the two, standing tall on a rocky outcropping.

"MON CHERÍ! Petit Broggy! You returnez! Come to moi, honh? Give us zee petite hug you like so well!" cried Broque as he and Bowser approached the dog, which suddenly leapt of his perch and tackled his owner, sending him flying down the beach. "Oh! Crazy Broggy! Why do you do zis?" bemoaned Broque, lying face down in the sand.

"BROOF!" Broggy turned and looked at Bowser now, barking and growling as it backed away. "BROOF! BROOF!"

"GWAHAHA! Man, you are priceless. This thing is your pet?" guffawed Bowser.

"Oui, although it seems today he is not his usual self, honh? I can do nothing when he is like zis. Could you teach him zee manners, s'il vous plaît?" asked Broque, still lying defeatedly on the ground.

"Pfft! No prob, buddy! It'll take about one punch!" said Bowser. His headache was finally going away, and with his fire restored, he was feeling like his old self again – and looking for some violent fun.

"Oh! I would not say zis thing, non! Très dangerous!" cautioned Broque. "Broggy, he grows angry, oui. And zen he cannot be bested! Your petit punches, I believe zey will not work!"

"BROOF!" with a monstrous bark the dog charged at Bowser, who ducked under it.

"Ah! Monsieur! Broggy, he jumps up on people, sometimes. He is naughty, oui! And he ignores zee punches as well. So, if he jumps on you, zat is when you use zat fine shell!" Broggy turned back towards Bowser, growling even louder. Bowser balled his hands into fists and held them up defensively, but Broque quickly started scolding him. "Ah! Un moment! You are craving zee punching now, honh? I told you, non! Non! Broggy, he laughs at your petit punches! But he is very much disliking zee fire." He recalled the burning palm trees and smiled up at Bowser. "A flame attack is zee best choice! Monsieur, you look good at using flame…"

_Got that right_, grinned Bowser, and when Broggy lunched at him again, he responded with a massive fireball. The dog yelped and jumped back, snarling at the Dragon-Koopa before attacking again. The battle was fierce but quick as Bowser blasted the dog back or ducked and used his shell as a shield. After a particularly large blast of fire hit home, Broggy had enough and with a final growl, turned and ran away up the beach.

"Ah! So very cute, even as he runs away from moi!" said Broque, finally getting to his feet. "I am missing him already! Wait! Petit Broggy! FORGIVEZ MOI!" He ran off after the dog without another word to Bowser, who shrugged and continued on himself.

Soon he reached the end of Plack Beach and turned northwest. All that stood between him and his castle was the large forest known as Dimble Wood. The sun had long since burned off all the mists, but as Bowser wandered through the boulders and trees, he recognized the place as being where he had encountered Fawful early that morning. The thought of what the bean did to him still made his blood boil and he took it out the forest, burning away the immobile trees and the hostile Treevils alike.

Bowser hadn't gone far when a familiar barking filled the air. "BROOF ROOF ROOF!"

Bowser stopped in his tracks at the sight of Broggy, but Broque's voice soon called the dog back. "PETIT BROGGY! HUSHEZ VOUS! You will scare off zee guest, honh?" Apparently the dog was listening to his owner again, for he turned and hopped away. Bowser hesitated but he was pretty sure he _had_ to go in that direction, and continued forward, turning to see a little shop nestled away in a small clearing on his left.

"Ah! Monsieur Turtle Bits! We meet again, do we not? Oui. And zat is called fate," called Broque, waving Bowser over. "You wonder why I am here, oui? Well zen, you wonder no more. I am what you call zee bigwig. Ah oui! I 'ave promoted myself to manager of a shop to pay for Broggy's ravenous 'unger! Well zen, Monsieur Turtle Bits… Do not let your eyes shop only! Buy somezing, s'il vous plaît! Oh, and if it is acceptable, give Broggy many coins, honh? Zey are 'is favorite food! Oh, Broggy! You love zem, oui? Give enough, and he trades for some nice gear! Maybe."

Bowser looked about the shop – including the stuff that purportedly belonged to the dog. Usually Mushroom Kingdom merchants weren't willing to sell to the Koopa King, but Broque's swag wasn't really his style. Fang necklaces, gaudy rings, shells meant for regular Koopas and which could only really serve as hats for Bowser… There were a couple nice arm bands, but Bowser had tonnes back home, so he didn't bother. The Koopa _was_ getting pretty hungry, however, and bought a bunch of spicy drumsticks for a late lunch, with some syrup to wash it down. He wasn't used to having to _pay_ for stuff, but Broque was an okay guy – for a block – and Bowser had some coins on him anyway, so he figured he'd play nice. As Bowser ate, Broque chattered away, happy to find an audience that wasn't a Wiggler or a Sockop, for a change.

"Now, you know zat I am a block collector. Oui, you know zis. Other collectors, zey all know moi. Oui, I am zat famous. And yet, something still eludes zee great Broque Monsieur! It is a living block called a… BLITTY!" As he spoke, he pulled out a block that had been painted to look like a cat. "Blitties, zey look just like zis! Zis one is a fake made by moi… Zey are cute. Très, très cute. Nothing is so cute, non. And I must have zis thing! I NEED ZEE BLITTY! Imagine, petit Blitties running about as zee shop mascots!"

"BROOF ROOF ROOF!"

"You hear zis, snooty Broggy?! Zee future, it is Blitties! I crave zis future! I lie awake craving zee petit Blitties! …So perhaps I have gone off zee deep end a bit, but I beg you to find me zee Blitty. Ah, oui, many Blitties! For moi! You do zis!"

Bowser blinked at the request, not saying a word in response as he munched on his chicken.

"You will, I feel it!" continued Broque. Zee Blitties soon for moi! Anytime you find zis magnificent beast, you return to zis shop! Zere will be good things for you if you do, I promise you zis! I could talk about zee cuteness of Blitties forever and ever! Zey are cute! Zey are adorable! Zey are wanted by moi! And you do zis deed for moi. You bring moi zee Blitties. Of course, I give zee gratitudes! Zis promise I make to vous! Ah, and more! Zere is more! Say you collect zem all, honh? I will lend you my Broggy! Oui! I will let you take my cute Broggy out for zee nice walk! He is so very savage, honh? Oui! He will bonk zee foes! Zee strength, so formidable! Zee barking, so very scary! Zis cute fellow, he will fight for Monsieur Turtle Bits!"

Bowser had no intention of collecting Blitties, but he knew better than to burn the one person who had shown him any sort of goodwill that day – and who wasn't a voice in his head. Without committing to the Blitty quest, yet not saying no either, Bowser then took his leave of Broque and Broggy. The block man watched him go, genuine fondness on his face. He had always heard such bad things about the King of the Koopas, but he didn't seem _so_ bad. And he _was_ an impressive creature. He was no Blitty or Broggy, but Broque could appreciate good horns when he saw them, and the fire in the beast's belly was powerful indeed, despite everything going on in there. Broque was very glad that the Stars had asked him to help out that day – and he hoped he hadn't seen the last of the Koopa King.


	16. Little Mushrooms

Chapter 16: Little Mushrooms

Dimble Wood was a strange place. There were statues of Wigglers that moved when you punched them in the correct sequence, living treasure chests that hurled coins, Scutlets and assorted weapons as an attack, and even another one of those fitness fads. This time, you use a bomb to send you careening across the sky. Hoping it'd get him through the forest faster, Bowser actually tried the so-called "Launch Fit" – it was indeed fast, but also rather painful as he was blasted through stone pillars and ended the journey by smashing into the side of a hill. But Bowser wasn't a sissy, and his nice, strong shell protected him from the worst of it. Still, he wouldn't recommend it – most people weren't nearly as burly and tough as him, after all.

Eventually Bowser found a stream, and hoping it was flowing from the mountains, he started following it. He hadn't gone far when he heard voices across the water, but when he turned to look, what he saw wasn't anything like his earlier Broque encounter: a cage stuffed full of grumbling Goombas.

"UURRGH!"

"Hey man, stop pushing!"

"Ouch, man! OUCH!"

"Haaalp!"

"Can't breathe…"

"I want my mom!"

"Hey!" roared Bowser, stepping to the edge of the water. "You slackers! What are you doing?! Some nutjob's after my castle! And you guys are hanging out playing Cram-in-the-Cage?!"

"BOWSER!" screamed the Goombas in unison, before descending into overlapping chatter once more.

"BOWSER! BOWSER!"

"CAN'T SEE! FOOT IN MY FACE!"

"BOWSER!"

"BOWSER!"

"Oh, man, Bowser… You gotta help us!" cried one Goomba.

"Your castle already got hit!" explained another one. "It was bad, man. Real bad! Some guy named Fawful… Just look! He crammed the entire Goomba squadron in a cage and CHUCKED US!"

Bowser's eyes widened – he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't bring himself to think of the castle, instead focusing on the pathetic sight in front of him. "Chucked you?!" he snorted derisively. "Goombas don't get chucked, pal! 'Marching straight ahead into the enemy's feet!' Didn't you memorize that in Goomba boot camp?"

"It was all real sudden, Boss…" said one apologetic minion. "We're unworthy. Not fit for stomping."

"Pathetic…" spat Bowser. Sometimes he wondered why he even kept Goombas around at all. "So what about the rest of my military? Did the other corps get spanked as bad as you?"

"Probably… It was brutal…"

"BRAAARGH!" Bowser let off a blast of fire in frustration. "I TOLD you to train harder! No wonder Mario crushes you!" And now even a loony like Fawful was crushing them too. It was embarrassing.

"Yeah. Sorry, Boss. Sorry, Bowser."

Bowser sighed. "Well, I'll train you chumps up nice! Follow me!"

"Oh! Thanks! Sweet!" said one Goomba.

"But… Uh, how do you we get off this island, Boss?" asked another.

Bowser rolled his eyes. _Of course_ they couldn't break out of the cage and figure out how to get to him by themselves… "I'll make a bridge or something! BECAUSE I GET THINGS DONE." Or more specifically, he got everything done. "Yeah, instead of crying all the time, I make things happen!" he added, almost to himself as he started looking around for a way to rescue the Goombas.

It wasn't easy, however, and when he found a bridge leading over the stream and to the mountains, he briefly considered simply walking away from the puzzle. But he shook his head. _Y'know, I really oughta help those idiot Goombas…_ He turned back and continued his search, eventually settling on a Wiggler statue standing on its end like a totem pole. _Maybe this thing will work as a bridge…_ With that thought in mind, he reached down and started yanking, straining to life it. "HRRRRNNNN!"

Sensing his need, Starlow cut her rest to a premature end and suppressing her urge to grumble about it, she led Mario and Luigi to the Arm Station and had them power up Bowser's "muscles" again.

"Almost… there… HRAH!" roared Bowser, sending the statue flying with the sudden burst of energy. Bowser smirked as he walked to his new bridge. He didn't know where these mini power boosts kept coming from, but he liked them. He hopped across the felled statue and walked back down the little island to the caged Goombas, swiftly punching the cage apart as they cheered him on.

"You did it!"

"Our hero!"

"High five!"

With his troops finally freed, Bowser turned to lead them back to the mainland. "Right! And now we take back my castle!"

"GOO-RAH!" they chorused, but before they had gone far, Fawful's UFO flew down to the group, its mouth-like speaker activated.

"I have the weeping!" said Fawful. "Such a reunion of sobs! You have moved Fawful with the family drama."

"Shut up!" snarled Bowser. "And don't mess with my minions! Only I do that!"

"But now I have chortle time! Fawful scattered your minions like litter from a sad, ugly cat. Are you wanting to hear them? For they are on the TV show. The TV show of your tears!"

The Fawfulcopter's mouth retracted and a TV was lowered in its place. Bowser watched, his expression slowly turning more and more murderous as footage of his castle being bombarded by bombs played, the sound of his panicking troops filling the forest air.

"_Bowser! Sir! Koopa unit down. Requesting evac!"_

"_SOS SOS SOS SOS Bob-omb squad here! Come in, anyone! Hello? Anyone copying this?"_

"_Shy Guy corps reporting. They got us. They got us all. We're such bad soldiers!"_

"This…STINKS!" roared Bowser as the TV was sucked back into the UFO, the final image of his smoldering castle etched in his mind. "MY MINIONS!"

"I HAVE CHORTLES!" cackled Fawful, the speaker reappearing. "And soon, I have your castle! Fawful will love it there! You will visit, perhaps! Fawful will reserve the Crying Room for the crying for your minions. And the crying will be like a savoury soda for my soul! NOW I HAVE FURY!" The UFO quickly zoomed into the sky, diving into a patch of nearby trees and returning in a flash with two Treevils, which is dropped before Bowser and his crew. "Some fighting will be slowing you!" said Fawful's grating voice.

"King Bowser! Goomba corps reporting for duty!" chirped a Goomba as the UFO flew away. "We'll rout these guys with Operation Goomba Storm! The thing is… We were stuck in that cage for a while, and we may be a little rusty…"

Bowser sighed and stayed to direct the Goombas as they took down the Treevils. He then led them across the bridge and they took their leave of him, saying they wanted to clear enemies out of his path to make the journey faster. He let them go, but to his chagrin, he still met numerous hostile creatures on the way. Part of him wondered if they had simply abandoned him – like when the giant sword captured his Southern Keep and he was forced to team up with Mario. He shook the thought out of his head – if he needed them, they'd come running, he was sure of it. Still, he didn't actually want to make them think he _needed_ them to go about his business. He _would_ probably need some backup for retaking the castle, yes, but walking through the forest? No, he could handle himself just fine, thank you very much, and he resolved to call upon his troops as little as possible.

However, he wasn't alone for very long, and soon came across a massive Banzai Bill Blaster being pushed through a clearing by a trio of peculiar minions. Soon, the blue pajama-clad Goomba member of the group gave up and staggered backwards. "Hoff… Haff… Hfuhruhurr… It's… It's no good, guys… My back… I tweaked it…"

"Get it together, Private Goomp!" admonished his green, backpack-wearing Shy Guy companion as he and the bucket-helmed, red-shelled Paratroopa also gave up and looked at the Goomba that was now lying face down on the ground. "Let's scout the area, at least."

"I wonder what everyone else is doing right now…" mumbled Goomp, not moving.

"I bet they're hurting bad. I mean, you guys were there. That scene was GNARLY," said the Paratroopa, Corporal Paraplonk.

"Think we're the only ones who escaped?" wondered the Goomba, his voice heavy.

"Yeah… I bet we are…" said Paraplonk, thinking back to the attack. The three of them had been outside the castle, doing repairs on the Blaster a safe distance away – that way, if it exploded, it wouldn't take a chunk of the building out with it. As soon as the UFOs appeared, they bolted. Sergeant Guy knew a bit of magic and had made the Blaster weightless, but by the time they reached Dimble Wood, the spell wore off. Thinking back to the hopelessness of the situation, Paraplonk wondered why they even bothered. "Boy… That was just plain mean!" he continued. "Who plans an attack for when Bowser's not there?"

"Ugh… If only Bowser were here, he'd know what to do…" sighed Sgt. Guy.

"Bowser, man… Where are you? And what are you doing?" moaned Goomp.

"Hey! Minions!" called Bowser.

Only now noticing their king standing off to the side of the clearing, the three minions cried out with joy. "BOWSERRRRR!" They hurried over to him, each one talking a mile a minute.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," said Bowser as they scuttled about his legs. He stomped forward into the middle of the clearing, turning to face the minions as they followed at his heels. "Sheesh, you're more hyper than the Goombas. One at a time."

Being the highest ranked of the three, Sgt. Guy forced himself to regain his composure. "Sorry, Your Awefulness, but we never thought we'd find you here – and we've been through a lot."

"Yeah," added Paraplonk. "The castle was ambushed while you were away."

"It was horrible!" moaned Goomp.

"Kamek had just returned," explained Sgt. Guy. "He looked pretty upset and called an emergency meeting with the other Magikoopas-"

"And then 'POW!' It started!" exclaimed Goomp.

"And then 'POOM', it was over almost as fast," said Paraplonk sorrowfully.

"There was so much chaos," said Sgt. Guy. "Fire and explosions and people getting blasted through the sky-"

"Or nabbed by robots!" added Goomp.

"Yeah – there were killer robots everywhere," confirmed Paraplonk.

"And UFOs!"

Bowser shook his head as he listened to their tale. "So… My castle got taken over, huh? That Fawful weirdo wasn't joking, then…" He sighed. Goombas had a habit of exaggerating, and for all he knew the TV footage was doctored, but he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He knew this threesome – they were huge sycophants, so they wouldn't say his castle was captured if it wasn't. Paraplonk was the most decorated of the three, having saved a whole platoon by butting a falling piece of rubble out of the way – but it had addled his brain a bit and now he didn't go anywhere without his trusty bucket atop his head. Sgt. Guy's magic skills had earned him some notoriety amongst the troops, although why he carried piping as well as a wand was anyone's guess. The two were a bit odd, and for some reason they had brought Goomp into their fold as well – the only thing notable about the Goomba was the fact that he wore pajamas all the time, but a friendship had formed between the three misfits and they always worked together if they could swing it. They certainly weren't the most model members of the Koopa Troop, but they were loyal soldiers and Bowser took them at their word about his castle's fate.

"Yeah… It… Well, this weird duo just showed up and went nuts. Huge attack, and just like that, they had the castle…" sighed Goomp.

Paraplonk nodded. "Uh-huh, we were just doing a, uh, tactical retreat, and we grabbed this cannon to maybe use…"

"GWAHAHA! Good stuff! And don't worry! We'll get my castle back!"

"Yes, sir! Shoo-rah!" saluted Sgt. Guy as Bowser turning around to look at the Blaster.

"So… What was the plan with the cannon, huh, guys?"

"Oh! We were, uh, gonna aim it at your castle, and, y'know… Launch it! And then…bonk!"

"Sir, the bonking to which he refers is on the enemy heads!" clarified Sgt. Guy, but Bowser hadn't noticed the inadvertent double-entendre.

"Niiiice!" he grinned. "Not a bad idea for a bunch of minions! I'm on board with it! Launch away!"

As Bowser laughed about his upcoming triumph, Goomp frantically looked back and forth at his friends, but as the junior member of the group, he soon realized it would be up to him to speak up. "Uh… But… We… That… We can't… launch now."

As Bowser froze mid-laugh, Sgt. Guy stepped in. "To be frank, sir, we appear to be lacking ammunition…"

Not wanting his friends to take the heat (possibly literally), Paraplonk also spoke up. "Yeah, lemme just jump in here and add that I forgot to bring the Banzai Bill for the cannon."

Bowser's face turned murderous. "IDIOTS!" he bellowed, causing all three of them to jump back, spinning in fear. "Wow, why am I not surprised?! Look, chumps, if we don't have a Banzai Bill, go find one. We must've launched hundreds of 'em at Mario over the years. There must be one around!"

"You got it, Boss!" said Goomp, running back up to his king. "We'll find a Banzai Bill right away! So, uh… So where are they at, again?"

"IDIOTS!" repeated Bowser, sending Goomp flying. "I told you to find one because I don't know where they are!"

"Yikes! Right away, Boss! We'll find one! Be right back!" they chattered as one, all running for the hills as far as possible while Bowser seethed in the clearing. Then, just as he was calming down, a familiar voice filled his internal reptilian ears.

"Hey! Why don't YOU go look for one?"

"What?" snorted Bowser, looking down at his belly.

"Those guys didn't seem too reliable," observed Starlow.

"Hey! Backseat minion manager! I was GONNA look, OK?" he huffed, wondering why she even cared.

In fact, Starlow was wondering the same thing. Whether or not Bowser got his castle back was of no concern to her. She tried rationalizing it to herself by figuring that if he accidentally blasted it to smithereens with a Banzai Bill, he wouldn't go rushing over there and risk getting them all killed by a Fawful attack. But that wasn't the real reason: Starlow still felt bad about how _she_ nearly got them all killed before. She felt worse about nearly getting Mario, Luigi, Peach and the others inside Bowser destabilized, but in spite of herself, she felt bad about risking Bowser's neck too. She said she'd help him get his fire back, and instead she nearly killed him. The better part of her knew Bowser wasn't worth feeling upset about, but in the back of her head, a tiny voice applauded her for trying to help him out with the cannon thing.

She wished that little voice would shut up.


	17. Big Carrot

Chapter 17: Big Carrot

Eventually Bowser's wanderings led him to a massive vegetable garden. There were pales of water and tonnes of carrots as wide as dinner plates poking out of the ground. "What is this stuff?" he muttered to himself. "These look like crops! Who the heck FARMS in this kingdom?" Or at least, who farms in the middle of the forests of the Mushroom Kingdom – Bowser thought most of the agriculture was in the grassy areas to the northeast, or in the southwest nearer to Dark Land.

"Careful!" squeaked a little baby Wiggler, crawling up to the Koopa King. "Don't you know? Wiggler Family Farm has raised vegetables for generations."

"Hey. Bug. Do I look like I care about vegetables?" said Bowser, rolling his eyes. "So listen up. You seen a Banzai Bill around here?"

"Banzai Bill? Not here. Violence isn't farm fresh, no. Here we just have fine organic vegetables free from pesticides. Peach has a standing order. You should try them. Free-range carrots are absolutely divine. Full of vitamins and minerals. Wonderful for a lustrous mane. Aids beauty and dietary health. Also good for burning fat, healing joins, firming nostrils, supplying nutrition to muscles…"

"SHUT UP!" snorted Bowser. He had tuned out the bug's rambling almost as soon as he started, but its voice was getting as grating as Fawful's. "Vegetables are GROSS!" he sneered. "Don't you have any meat?!"

"Meat," gasped the bug. "Oh, absolutely not. A healthy body craves no meat. And those who make fun of vegetables will one day pay."

_Clearly, he's never heard of carnivores_, thought Bowser, picking at his teeth for any leftover bits of drumstick as he watched the tiny Wiggler crawl away behind a rock. Finding nothing wedged between his fangs, he shrugged and continued on through the garden, soon coming upon a carrot that was even larger than he was.

"GWAHAAA! Talk about a huge veggie! Not bad! If this is all we got, then veggie ammo it is!" Having given up on finding a Banzai Bill, he stepped up to the carrot and began tugging, grunting with the effort. "HOOORG!" Quite familiar with the drill by that point, Starlow led Mario and Luigi from Toad Square to the Arm Center once more. Bowser felt the familiar energy surge and with final grunt of "C'MON HNNNGH!" he ripped the carrot from the ground. It flew over his head and landed with a thud. He turned and looked over the now fully-exposed veggie with a frown. "Whoa, that is really big. Might not fit in the cannon…"

"STOP! THIEF!" Behind Bowser, a fully-grown Wiggler came crawling out of the hole left by the carrot, glaring at the Dragon-Koopa. "The great giga-carrot! Raised by Wigglers for generations! That giga-carrot was grown by my grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's generation and every single one since! And you yanked it!"

Bowser was unmoved. "Hey, giant talking bug! You seen a Banzai Bill around here anywhere?"

The Wiggler scowled. "…You don't care about the story of the Wigglers at all, huh? So, a Banzai Bill? I have one."

"What?! Awesome!" said Bowser, not noticing the gleam in the bug's eye.

"Yes, a long time ago, a Banzai Bill fell into the pasture… I have secretly cared for it, telling no one where it lies. Do you want it?"

"Yes!" A farmer Wiggler housing a Banzai Bill didn't make much sense, but Bowser didn't care. "Gimme!"

"Oh, of course, I would, but… You really need to learn a lesson or two about honor. So first of all, you need to take responsibility for yanking out this giga-carrot. Then we can talk Banzai Bill."

"Responsibility?!"

"You heard me! The Wiggler family has been growing this for ages! Growing this huge giga-carrot! Now take responsibility… AND EAT IT!" Bowser paled and looked at the massive carrot while the bug continued sermonizing. "When you yank a vegetable out, be responsible and eat it all. That's been Wiggler law since time out of mind. Waste not!"

"Eat THAT?! It's huge!" protested Bowser, turning back to the Wiggler. His stomach was aching already.

"Fine, don't. But no Banzai Bill."

"Hmmph…" Bowser wanted nothing more than to fry the bug _and_ his precious carrot, but the more time he wasted looking for a Banzai Bill, the deeper Fawful got entrenched in his castle. Seeing no alternative, he acquiesced to the Wiggler's demands. "OK, fine! Got any hot sauce?"

The Wiggler smirked. "By the way, there's a time limit. You have one minute to eat it. All of it. Think of it as a sort of challenge."

"WHAT?! That's…really fast! Lemme taste it first." Bowser at least wanted to know what it was going to taste like when he flooded his carnivorous digestive system with toxic vegetable matter.

"I'm afraid not."

"I hate veggies! What if I scarf this down and get a bellyache?" Not 'if' – _when_, but Bowser wasn't going to admit the extent to which he was willing to punish himself for the smug bug's Banzai Bill. "I'm not signing on for that!"

Bowser's bravado was futile, for the Wiggler knew full well that Dragon-Koopas were primarily carnivorous, and he relished in how much the king was squirming. He supposed he could let up a _little_. "I suppose that's fair. You may have a taste. But just a little one."

Bowser swallowed hard as he circled around behind the carrot. Monitoring the situation from inside him, Starlow was also concerned. Dragon-Koopas could eat some fungi and veggies, but by and large they were carnivores, and choking down a giant carrot was sure to wreak havoc with his system. At best he'd vomit it all back up, at worst he'd clog up his innards with indigestible cellulose – unable to eat anything more, he'd switch to raw energy to keep his cellular processes going, and with his condition, even if the Mario Bros. helped him out he'd drain himself dry before too long.

"Here goes! Chow time!" with that, Bowser took a deep breath and took a small bite out of the carrot.

Grumbling to herself about the ridiculous amount of trouble the Koopa King kept getting himself into, Starlow roused the Mario Bros. once again. "There's a reaction in Bowser's stomach!" she said, spinning a new illusion as she led them out of Toad Square and through the tunnel system.

"Ready? Go face-stuff challenge!" refereed the Wiggler. Resisting the urge to complain that he barely had time to swallow his practice bite, Bowser started hacking away at the carrot, swallowing bite after bite with as little chewing as possible, trying to minimize the amount of time the disgusting mouthfuls spent dousing his tongue in their pungent orange juices.

Inside him, Starlow led the Mario Bros. as they blasted at the pieces of carrot with a cannon illusion. If Bowser's biological processes couldn't handle the vegetable matter, his energy parasites would do it for him. Hijacking his vacuum powers, Starlow had the carrot's matter immediately converting into energy in his hammerspace, using Mario and Luigi's power to facilitate the change and make the energy available for use next time they needed to give Bowser a major power boost.

"Ah. This giga-carrot includes a super-digestive enzyme that quickly digests food," said the Wiggler, watching the laboring Dragon-Koopa.

_That explains a lot, actually_, thought Starlow. As well as regular carrot pieces, a lot of the matter absorbed into Bowser's hammerspace wasn't quite normal. Weird enzymes could explain for the odd energy signatures – and more importantly, they offered even more bankable power for Bowser.

"Yes, yes, yes. Practice is over…" said the Wiggler as Bowser paused to catch his breath. His eyes opened wide – he thought he had been competing all that time. "That's a bit too much practice eating, no?" smirked the Wiggler. Bowser was going a lot slower than he had hoped. He wanted payback for the carrot and all the other atrocities the Koopas had done to the beautiful forests and fields of the Mushroom Kingdom over the years. He had Bowser eat quickly to cause maximum gastrointestinal distress – but the minute was half over and the carrot was still mostly intact, and he wasn't going to let Bowser get a free ride. No way, he was going to eat the whole carrot. If he couldn't do it this time, the Wiggler figured he would just not tell him when the time was up – but with any luck, it wouldn't come to that.

"Well then…" he continued. "Sponsored by the Wiggler family! Promoted by the Wiggler family! Authorized by the very same! We bring to you, live, the game of Giga-carrot, which nourishes nature, body, and soul!"

"No carrot defeats me!" roared Bowser, taking deep breaths to try and soothe his gurgling stomach. Starlow was snatching most of the carrot, but enough of it was getting through to make its presence known in Bowser's belly.

The Wiggler was glad to see Bowser's bravado: hopefully it'd mean he'd try harder to finish within the time limit this time. "Ready? Go, face-stuff challenge!" he repeated, watching as Bowser scarfed down the carrot, his face turning a darker shade of green from his barely contained nausea. When he finally swallowed the last bite, the Wiggler walked up to him, feigning amazement. "I can't believe it! An eating record! And what a time! Just 50 seconds! How very splendid. Let's have a round of applause for Bowser. …Not that anyone saw all that."

Gulping down a carrot-flavoured belch, Bowser glared at the Wiggler. "Hey! I took responsibility! Gimme my Banzai Bill!"

But the Wiggler wasn't done with him yet. "Well, just calm down. Don't panic, don't panic. Take a deep breath. Yes, go slow and steady. Don't rush. Breathe deep."

"It's all good! Banzai Bill me!"

"What? What do you mean?" said the Wiggler, making his face go blank, struggling not to giggle at the expression crawling across the Koopa's snout. "What were we talking about?"

Bowser blinked in confusion for a second, before narrowing his eyes and snarling at the wiseguy Wiggler. "Don't start, pal! We had a deal!"

Letting his own suppressed rage bubble over, the Wiggler turned red and snarled right back. "You invade our peaceful farm and contaminate it! You yank our giga-carrot! And then you EAT it! Now face Wiggler's wrath!"

"You TOLD me to eat it, you idiot!" cried Bowser with enraged disbelief.

"I must avenge the Wigglers whose legacy you sullied! You must be removed from our farm like compost!"

"Bah! You like compost? I'll compost your FACE!" roared Bowser, punching the Wiggler as it charged at him. The blow dealt no damage, however, and the giant bug quickly retaliated with a barrage of turnips and propeller-headed Leaf Guys it pulled from the ground. Bowser ducked under the vegetated Shy Guys and punched the turnips way, but another pair of Leaf Guys appeared overhead, carrying a massive turnip – which Bowser didn't want to even try to swat. Engaging his vacuum power, he sucked the Leaf Guys up, and while Mario and Luigi fought them off in his hammerspace, Bowser watched as the giant turnip crashed onto the Wiggler. The creature was stunned by the attack and turned yellow and vulnerable, and Bowser took advantage of that by blasting it with fire.

The battle continued on for a little longer, with Bowser and the Wiggler taking turns circling and charging at each other, trampling and uprooting all the nearby plants while Leaf Guys swarmed overhead. After a particularly nasty burn, the Wiggler relented. "Ouchouchouchouch… I can't bear it if you damage the rest of our organic crops…" _No revenge was worth this much pain and destruction_, he thought, and slunk back into the giant carrot hole. "Please, just take this and leave our property!" he cried, kicking the Banzai Bill out of the ground.

Catching the projectile, Bowser laughed. "GWAHAAA! We can use the cannon now!" Storing the Banzai Bill in his hammerspace – where Starlow made sure to leave its volatile energy alone, and safely separated from the new reserves of carrot power.


	18. You've Got Worms

Chapter 18: You've Got Worms

Having to eat the carrot had not been fun, but Bowser was surprised that his carnivorous belly was only twinging slightly from the deluge of plant matter. Hell, he was surprised he had even been able to eat the whole Giga-Carrot – it _had_ been bigger than him, after all, and while he _was_ a big eater, part of him wondered if such a feat shouldn't actually have been possible. But Bowser wasn't one to put much thought in these things and shugging it off, he turned and headed for the exit to the garden, hoping to return to the Banzai Bill Blaster before it got too late in the afternoon.

However, he had not made it far before a brief flash of pain radiated out from his belly. "Ooof! Hrrrgh?" He stopped in his tracks, a hand on his gut. He wondered if maybe his luck had just run out, but rather than the wave of nausea and vomiting he had been bracing himself for since he agreed to eat the Giga-Carrot, his body was suddenly wracked with a bolt of debilitating pain. Losing his composure, he couldn't keep himself from crying out, "OWWWW!"

Sensing an alarming disturbance in his energy, Starlow linked up with Bowser. "What? What is it?! What's wrong?"

"Ouch! Owwww!" moaned Bowser, barely keeping himself standing. "What the—YOWCH! MY BELLY HURTS!"

"What is it, do you think? You ate too much carrot?" she replied. She knew it wasn't the carrot's fault – and that the pain wasn't in Bowser's belly. He was just imagining it was there because he subconsciously thought the carrot was to blame – and Starlow wanted him to _keep_ thinking that. It was easier on his psyche than if the pain manifested itself more realistically – and his entire being was plunged into fire.

"GRRROWCH! Listen! Ch-Chippy! Do something! I can't take this! Now! Make it better!" begged Bowser.

Starlow knew she had to do something, but she had no idea why his energy was suddenly turning on its host. Stalling for time, she masked the concern in her voice and responded to his plea. "But the kingdom's in danger! If we delay, we may never get your castle back!"

"Quick… Now... Gut… Pain…" panted the Dragon-Koopa. It was all he could do to stay on his feet, much less continue on with his quest.

"I guess we have to deal with this," she said, finally sensing what was wrong with the energy. It felt like there was a new consciousness in the ether – one that was keeping its own energy concentrated and whole, at the king's expense. "Bowser, don't move, OK? I'll go find out what's causing all this pain!"

Breaking off her connection with Bowser, she signaled for the Bros. to follow her and raced towards the Nerve Cluster illusion. Toadbert had entered the area a short while ago, and sensing a refuge from the formless ether, the new entity had followed him in.

But when the Mario Bros. entered the illusion as well, the other being was nowhere to be found. The plumbers looked around in confusion as the illusion began to shake, and suddenly a monstrous bug smashed through the wall. Bowser howled in pain and Starlow barely kept her own composure at the sudden assault on the illusion – and the Star Sprite mind connected with it.

Gritting her teeth, she entered the illusion itself, coming between the creature and the startled plumbers. "Oh, wow! Are you a friend of the bug from the farm?"

In response, the massive, teal and purple, Birdo-faced caterpillar jumped threateningly at Starlow and the Marios, its energy spiking with each movement and sending bolts of pain through Bowser's body.

Starlow couldn't let this continue. "Don't talk much, huh? You must've been in the carrot Bowser ate!" She could kick herself for missing it – she had a funny feeling that the freaky enzyme wasn't the only funny thing that came in with the carrot. There was something else about the bug too – something… _familiar_, although she couldn't put her finger on it. As Starlow pondered, the bug, Durmite, slowly started inching closer, but unlike the Scutlet, she wouldn't be caught off-guard again, and she eyed it warily as she spoke. "Wow, you got huge. I wonder why? And why are you…uh, sidling?" Suddenly a new kind of fencing blob dropped down from the ceiling between Starlow and the Mario Bros.

"Waaa!" yelled Mario and Luigi, but before the blob could attack them with its sword, Durmite had nabbed it with a line of sticky silk-like spit and pulled it back into its mouth. Two more of the Biffidus bobs dropped down, and one by one, the bug snapped them up. Then, as Starlow and the Bros. watched in horror, Durmite jumped up and started glowing, growing larger and then landing with a thud.

"Yikes! It's been eating those white things! They made it big!" observed Starlow as the bug hopped again. Durmite was no ordinary creature, that's for sure: it was converting Bowser's energy into energy for itself. Not good.

"Ow! OWWW!" cried Bowser after the latest pair of white hot waves of pain ripped through him. "Chippy! I'm going nuts up here! What are you doing?! Do something now!"

Starlow turned around. "Mario, what should we do?"

"We-a have to stomp it," he responded.

"True…" she mused. Perhaps the problem _could_ be simplified as simply as if it were any other enemy that Bowser inhaled. "If we don't get Bowser moving, we're in trouble," she reiterated, turning back to Durmite while Mario nodded behind her. She wished she knew why the bug's energy was weirdly familiar to her, but aside from its name, she couldn't sense anything about its origins or identity, as if it was blocking their minds from linking. Or maybe it was just because it was a _bug_ and there was no mind to link to at all. Either way, now wasn't the time to let her inquisitiveness get the better of her: whatever it was, Durmite had to go. "Sorry, bug. It seems wrong, but we must…uh, exterminate you."

Mario got into a battle stance, but noticing a distinct lack of Luigi at his side, he turned to his brother. Luigi was slowly sliding backwards. Mario advanced on him, rising an eyebrow. "Noooo…" said Luigi, shaking his head. He wasn't good wish giant monster bugs. Them and ghosts – not his thing. But he had no choice, and when he tried to bolt, Mario and Starlow cut him off, pushing him back towards the now-charging bug. Screaming, he pulled out his hammer to block Durmite's attack, but it recovered quickly, spitting out more silk to try and snare the Bros. Jumping clear of the attack, they tried stomping the creature, when a group of Biffidus came running onto the scene. For some reason, they seemed more eager to attack the Mario Bros., who responded by barraging them and Durmite alike with fireballs.

The bug then turned on the blobs, munching them up and spitting their swords back out like little projectiles. However that didn't seem to do the trick, because it then extended its straw-like proboscis from its sucker mouth and started sapping health directly from Bowser. Mario and Luigi had a bad feeling about the straw and attacked with renewed force before she could recover too much health. With more Biffidus coming onto the scene, the battle was long and chaotic, but eventually the Mario Bros. seemed to succeed yet again, and Durmite vanished in a burst of light. But in its place was a tiny little worm which immediately turned tail and ran.

The Bros, gave chase, fearing that if the worm got away it'd grow huge again before long. However they had not gotten far when a spear dropped from on high. Looking up, they realized the ceiling was crawling with Biffidus and shouting in alarm, they fled into the next area. But as they crossed a narrow bridge, an entire chain of Biffidus dropped down, blocking their way. They turned to backtrack, but more blobs appeared. As Mario and Luigi panicked, the two columns of enemies began drilling into the floor of the illusion, and suddenly the entire bridge dropped.

Unlike what Durmite did to the illusion, however, this was not entirely unintentional. Starlow emerged from Mario's 'hammerspace', bringing his attention to a nearby wall. "Hm… This passage is blocked!" she noted, leaving out the fact that she had done it herself.

"Hmmm…" Mario wondered what to do next, but a voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I know that voice, by boogity… Is Mario in here?"

Mario and Starlow turned to see a familiar blue Toad hopping and waving at them from the other side of the room.

"Wow, it IS Mario! It's me, Toadbert!" he called as Mario walked past Luigi, who was still lying in a dazed heap on the ground.

"Yah!" replied Mario.

"Yeah, Bowser inhaled me too. With almost the whole castle," exaggerated Toadbert. "I'm so happy we met up! Well, I'm not happy we're here, but…"

"Did you get attacked by those white soldier things too?" asked Starlow as Luigi finally roused and walked up to them.

"Oh yeah, I sure did… I guess it's just their job. They attack anything foreign that gets into Bowser's body." He turned and looked at the switch sticking out of a nearby wall. "…Anyway, gotta say, it's pretty interesting in here, by boogity! There's all kinds of weird stuff! I feel like a gut spelunker!"

"Have you-a seen Princess Peach?" asked Mario.

"Hmm? Princess Peach? Oh yeah, it makes sense that she would've been inhaled too… Unfortunately, I haven't seen her around here anywhere… She's gotta be in his body somewhere, though… I guess you just gotta keep trudging around, huh?"

"First we need a way out…" said Starlow. Now that they had retrieved Toadbert, they didn't have to hang around the area any longer, and she watched approvingly as Luigi jumped, approached the switch, and hit it with his hammer.

Durmite's defeat had released all the energy she had sucked from Bowser and his Biffidus, but there was still something funny about it. Starlow could barely control it, and had been struggling to keep it from overwhelming Bowser, but now she used Luigi's attack to channel the power back into Bowser's essence in a controlled manner. Relatively, anyway, as balls of sparks flew all about the foursome in the illusion.

Bowser jumped at the unusual energy spike and held his arm out. "My belly starts feeling better, and now my ARM hurts?! C'mon! Hey! You in there! What are you doing to my bod?!"

Ignoring Bowser, Starlow took stock of what the release had done to his energy patterns, but Toadbert beat her to the reveal. "Hm! It looks like that had some sort of effect on Bowser's arm."

"His arm?" asked Starlow, although she was more interested in how Toadbert had figured it out. Maybe all his exploring really had taught _him_ something.

"Yeah, I've been poking around… This whole area is a pressure point for Bowser's arm… It's just a theory, but I think if he punches while moving, he'll punch much harder than before!"

Well, replace 'pressure point' with 'energy nexus', and Toadbert essentially had it right. And not wanting to mess with his sensitive vacuum powers or firebreath, Starlow had channeled the extra energy into the other cornerstone of Dragon-Koopa might: his muscles themselves.

But she wanted to be sure what she was sensing was what she wanted to sense and linked up to Bowser. "Hey, up there! It looks like your punching power increased! Try punching while moving!"

"What's that? Punch while moving?"

"Yeah, try it! If it works, you'll be able to break stuff you couldn't before, right?"

"You don't say," he said, while thinking, _Well duh, of course sliding punches are more powerful than stationary punches_. He just hadn't been feeling up to it, but his arm was all tingly and if it'd make Chippy happy, he supposed it was the least he could do. "Guess I'll try it! I'm feeling better now anyway. A solid punching will feel good!"

Smashing a couple rocks on the way, Bowser walked back the way he came, catching sight of the little Wiggler.

"What? Well, if it isn't you. Still here, are you? Straaaange." Bowser narrowed his eyes, but the Wiggler quickly shifted gears to flattery. "You seem somehow more powerful. Strong enough to rid the farm of those rocks, perhaps?" It indicated a pile of nearby boulders. "The rocks are covering some fine soil, but I can't move them. No, I'm far too small…"

Bowser had half a mind to go and find _more_ rocks to dump on the Wiggler farm, but he recognized a shortcut when he saw one and ploughed through the rocks, having quite a gas of it. "GAH HA HA! Oh baby, you're GOOD! Chippy! You get it done! That's it, you're my new minion! You can thank me later!"

"Uh, well. I'm not sure I can accept…" she replied sheepishly.

"GAH HA HA! Hey, don't be shy, now! I know you're fired up! Go ahead, bask in it!"

She rolled her eyes at the Koopa King's bravado, but Toadbert didn't have time to watch any more banter. As well as powering up Bowser's arm, Starlow had used the power surge as an excuse to open the passageway, and he was eager to continue exploring. "Well, looks like you guys have this under control. I'm gonna go scout some other areas. If I find anything, I'll holler. See you later, by boogity!"

But Mario and Luigi were done in the area too, and Toadbert figured he could wait to explore some for a for a bit and decided to accompany them back to Toad Square instead.

Meanwhile, Bowser turned his back on the Wiggler farm. "All right! Time to use that Banzai Bill! Back to the cannon!" Watching him go from a crack in the wall, the little Wiggler sighed in relief. He was glad the rocks were broken, but it was nothing compared to all the damage wrought by the Koopa King and the larger Wiggler. The little bug just hoped _he_ wouldn't get to be so cranky and destructive when he grew up, and with a weary sigh, went back to work.


	19. Crunch

Chapter 19: Crunch

"Find anything?" asked Paraplonk, catching sight of Goomp and Sgt. Guy standing next to the cannon.

"Nothing…" reported Sgt. Guy as the Paratroopa fluttered up to them.

"No way there's a Banzai Bill in the forest…" sighed Goomp.

"Great… As always, a Bowser plan goes totally off the rails…" Paraplonk rolled his eyes.

"He does lack strategy…" nodded Sgt. Guy.

"He's stubborn…" noted Goomp.

"Selfish…" added Paraplonk.

"Possibly unfit for duty. Huge head, tiny brain…" mused Sgt. Guy, but before the minions could continue their grumbling, a Banzai Bill landed with a thud beside them.

Paling they turned to see Bowser standing off to the side, shuddering with rage. "BOWSERRRRR!" they screamed – and they were right to be afraid. Backtalk was one thing Bowser couldn't stand from his troops: a disloyal minion was no minion at all. But he couldn't afford to kick them out for insubordination. At least, not until his castle was reclaimed. With that in mind, he decided to overlook this little transgression as he stormed up to them.

"You're useless!" was all he said. "Now move it! Load up the Banzai Bill!"

"Bowser always comes through!" chirped the trio, back to their sycophantic ways as they hurried forward and grabbed the Banzai Bill. Figuring he had already done more than enough of his share of the work, Bowser sat back and watched the minions laboriously load the Banzai Bill into the cannon and aim it at the distant castle. Squinting through the afternoon haze, Bowser could barely make out the fortress in the mountains. If he hadn't known exactly where to look in the little patch of volcanoes, he doubted he would have noticed the spires poking out above the mountaintops, shrouded in smoke. Which, of course, was what the Koopas had been aiming for when they chose the site.

"OK, Bowser! The Banzai Bill is loaded up!" reported Goomp.

"All systems go for launch!" saluted Sgt. Guy.

"Just light that fuse and BOOM! ZOOM! BONK!" squealed Paraplonk.

"About time!" said Bowser, walking over to the cannon. "I'll just give it the old flame treatment. Watch carefully, minions! This is how you get it done!" Using a blast of his breath, Bowser lit the fuse and watched as the Banzai Bill rocketed into the sky and sailed towards the Sky Land mountains. He would have his castle back in no time – even if it _would_ have one more hole in it.

**-xxxxx-**

Unfortunately for Bowser, his castle wasn't the same sitting duck that he had left it as that morning, and the approaching projectile was picked up by the sensors. The Koopa Troopa monitoring the screen turned and waved a warning to the Goomba standing at Midbus's right side in the center of the throne room.

The Goomba jumped in alarm, looking at the screen behind the Koopa. "Trouble, Lord Midbus! There's a Banzai Bill on course for the castle!" he reported.

"The trajectory suggests a Dimble Wood launch!" added the Goomba on Midbus's left, stepping forward to get a better look at the screen.

"What? Will it hit the castle?" grunted the pink behemoth.

"It may!" said the first Goomba. "A possibly BOOM! High probability of BOOSH! A BRAAK may wreck the castle!"

"Lord Fawful is in here! We must protect him!" cried the second Goomba.

"In that case… Do the thing!" commanded Midbus. Obediently the minions at the control panels went to work, activating the castle's lighter-than-air magic. However, as the main mechanism had been damaged in Fawful's attack, the Bean had jerry-rigged a secondary system, and on Midbus's command, the rockets that now covered the bottom surface of the castle roared to life and pushed it high into the air. The Banzai Bill flew harmlessly below the castle, and Midbus laughed. "MUH MUH MUH! Make for the forest. Now!" As the castle began to move, he smirked. Whoever launched that Banzai Bill was going to pay – and he had a pretty good guess about who it was.

**-xxxxx-**

Watching for the explosion, Paraplonk frowned as he caught sight of movement. He flew higher, hoping to get a better view. "Uh, what? Call me crazy, but it looks like Bowser Castle is heading this way!"

"WHAAT?!" roared Bowser.

"But the flying mechanisms were wrecked – they were the first things the UFOs took out," gasped Sgt. Guy.

"More importantly – if the castle's flying, that means the Banzai Bill missed, right? They couldn't fly it if they were just smacked with that baby!" snarled Bowser. "You guys must have aimed it wrong!"

"Or it flew out of the way," squeaked Goomp.

"No way it'd be fast enough," snorted Bowser. He loved his castle, but like him, speed wasn't what it was built for.

"It's got rockets now," reported Paraplonk, watching in horror as the castle burst out of Sky Land, zooming down the nearest mountainside and making a beeline straight for them. "We have to get out of here!" he shouted.

"Don't be such a baby – it's good if the castle's coming to us," argued Bowser.

"But sir, we can't- I mean, we don't want- I mean, we're not ready- I mean-"

"Ugh, be QUIET!" roared Bowser, tiring of Goomps stammering.

"But Bowser, if they added rockets who knows what other armaments they added to the castle…" reasoned Sgt. Guy, trailing off as the castle suddenly appeared overhead, its rockets already turned off.

"Huh? It's dark out! Bedtime already?" Bowser snorted at his own joke. The others were still bathed in sunlight, after all: it was probably just a cloud. Distracted by the panicked antics of the three minions before him, Bowser didn't even bother looking up as he tried to get more info out of Sgt. Guy. "…Huh. So what's this about my castle?"

"ABOVE YOU!" they all screamed as the anti-magic ability was cut off, but Bowser was too slow and castle came crashing down on top of him.

And she had thought what Durmite had done to Bowser was bad. Starlow could barely keep from screaming as Bowser's energy destabilized. If he had been anyone else, it would have ended at that moment, but he was about as close to immortal as you could get without being a Star, and was still clinging to life. Barely. His energy wasn't dissipating yet, but Starlow knew it would if the building that was crushing him wasn't lifted soon. His shell could only withstand so much, and if it cracked, it was game over. The energy would spill out and they'd turn to a pile of dust beneath the castle.

Struggling not to panic, Starlow tried to pull herself together. She had to do something – there was no telling when the castle would lift free of the dying Koopa King. If it freed him _at all_. But the pain was too intense. All her illusions were turning to soup around her – if the Mario Bros., Toadbert, Toadsworth and all the others hadn't been in Toad Square already… Starlow didn't even want to think of what would have happened then. She hadn't asked for guidance for a while, but realizing that she was in deep over her head, she sent out an anguished plea.

_Please! Save us! Wisdurm! Chakron! Anybody! Help us!_

But no one replied. Starlow was alone.

Digging deep, she pushed back against the pain, trying so hard to find herself – at solidify her energy again and make a plan. But she couldn't. It was too hard. The energy crisis was far worse than it had been after Bowser first inhaled everyone into his hammerspace. Now the energy was instable _and_ being drained away. The only spot of fortune was that the carrot had pumped Bowser up with a load of reserve energy, but the grace period it bought them was almost up: once the carrot power was gone, only Bowser's natural energy was left. Near Immortality came at a steep price, and his body would siphon away his soul itself as it unnaturally kept itself alive against the crushing weight of the castle. Or it'd take Peach's life force – or it'd invade the tiny, Toad-made refuge where the other eight souls were just barely being shielded from the erupting energies around them.

Starlow couldn't let that happen, but she couldn't stop it. She couldn't even tap into the dreaming Toads to take shelter in their illusion and compose herself. The energy had her in its grips, ripping her apart, sensing her power – the power Bowser needed to stave off death. No, it wasn't Bowser's soul _or_ Peach's energy that was next on the menu – it was _Starlow_. All control was gone. She couldn't stop it. And once she was gone the Toads wouldn't be able to keep up their own illusion. They'd all die. And Bowser would die. Assuming his shell even held out that long. Or his neck – if the link between his mind and body was severed, it would be just as bad as if his shell was split in two. But there was nothing Starlow could do! Nothing!

_HELP ME!_ she screamed.

Suddenly, like a light in a storm, she sensed it. The worm. The worm was fighting off the chaos – keeping its form. It wasn't like the Toads – they knew something bad was happening, but they were oblivious to the true horrors they were keeping at bay. But Durmite was in the thick of it, and it was keeping itself together.

No, not 'it'. _She._ Starlow could feel her presence – as she had sensed before, there was something special about the bug. Something familiar. Something _usable_. Starlow focused on Durmite, using her solidity as a beacon – a template that could be copied. Slowly she pulled herself together and forced her way into Toad Square. Keeping the strain from registering on her face as the Mario Bros. and Toads looked to her worriedly, she stalled for time by pretending to call to Bowser. "Hey! Everything OK up there?" Pretending to wait for a response she knew wouldn't come, she burrowed through the chaos, forming one more illusion. She couldn't do it alone, but Mario and Luigi might just give her the power she needed to stabilize Bowser and buy them more time before death claimed them all. "Uh-oh, he's not answering," she said once her illusion was ready. "This is not good. We'd better go check out that area that's reacting!"

Mario and Luigi nodded and ran after her. The Toads watched them go, huddled together in fear. Toadbert was _very_ glad he had decided to stay for lunch before going exploring some more. Bowser had survived many things before – lava, enormous falls, getting lost in the pocket dimensions he himself had made for Peach's castle portraits, a whole slew of grievous injuries, and even a few crush scenarios too. He didn't know how close they were to oblivion, but he did know that Bowser's body would be in bad shape until they got the castle off – not a good time to go spelunking through his innards.

When they entered the area, Mario, Luigi and Starlow were met by an Emoglobin. "Look upon this Emoglobin, for it is one with save-ish abilities. _Is that not globin?_ But… I am a rare-ish, not often-ish, save-ish Emoglobin… _Do I not globin?_ O traveler, save your globin?"

_Yeah, not heavy-handed at all,_ thought Starlow as they ran past it. You know it's bad when Bowser's own energy blobs were begging you to save his butt. However the Emoglobin wasn't alone, and as the threesome approached the interface Starlow had prepared, a pair of purple Emoglobins descended towards them, long, limb-like flagella dropping down.

"We beseech you to save the life of our host…" said the first blob.

"We ask that you help the host Bowser recover…" said the second.

Mario and Luigi eyed the energy creatures warily, not used to manifestations of Bowser's power to be so eloquent in speech.

As if sensing their confusion, the first one spoke up again. "We are Evoglobins… The evolution of Emoglobins… Transcendent spiritual forms…"

"We are Evoglobins… Waves of spirituality spawned us temporarily arms and legs…"

"We carry with us a message of crisis for Bowser's life energy. We have awaited you in this sacred place, ever patient…"

"It falls to you to revive Bowser's flagging life energy… Board the boats of revival and ford the adrenaline channel."

Now Starlow was confused as the Evoglobins beckoned Mario and Luigi to a pair of votes floating in a stream of purple energy in liquid form. That's _not_ the illusion she had set out to make. In fact, thinking back, she _had_ felt a little funny about the new illusion – like someone was making it for her, like the Toads. But it wasn't the Toads, and it surely wasn't Durmite either. She cast her mind about, sensing for Wisdurm or anyone else's presence, but all she sensed was Bowser's collapsing energy.

Well, where it came from didn't matter: it was all she had to work with, and Starlow accompanied the Bros. as they boarded the boats and sailed into the channel. "OK, so how do we ford this adrenaline channel, anyway?" she wondered aloud as they floated along. They hadn't gotten far when a glowing red ball came floating towards them. Starlow didn't know where the energy came from, but again, she'd worry about that later, and running with the name the Evoglobins gave them, she offered guidance to the Bros. "OK, yeah, that's adrenaline! Because it's red adrenaline, Mario, you have to blast it!"

Mario seized control of the little red blaster attached to his boat, blasting the light into the wall where it joined Bowser's energy. _Perfect_, thought Starlow: the blaster was using Mario's energy and adding it to the mystery balls. "Use that beam to blast the adrenaline as it flies at you," she instructed. "That next one's green, Luigi! Fire from the left!" With Starlow cheering them on, Mario and Luigi tackled the barrage of energy balls that relentlessly streamed towards them. As they worked, she felt Bowser's energy changing, order returning to the chaos, stability spreading through his soul. "His energy sparked!" she shouted after the Marios sent a particularly large wave of energy through the Dragon-Koopa. The instability was gone, but something else was happening, and still the energy balls kept coming, pushing Bowser's energy levels higher and higher and suddenly exploding outwards.

"His energy spiked!" shouted Starlow as the power spilled over, flowing out of the reservoir and into the area all around Bowser's shell and the mangled body attached to it, restoring the flesh and bone that had been crushed beneath the castle and then spreading further, pushing back against the castle as the Dragon-Koopa grew to enormous proportions. "Bowser's moving again!" Starlow cried as the ball of energy dissipated and left the restored Dragon-Koopa in its place, his heart beating anew as he lifted the castle up over his head.


	20. Fortress Fracas

**A/N****: When I started writing this novelization, I actually had Geno filling the role of Starlow's mentor, but after a while, I decided that I wanted to take a more focused approach and went back and rewrote all the Geno stuff into Wisdurm stuff. I liked his dialogue, however, and there were a couple things that lost some meaning in translation, so I saved the original stuff, and uploaded it in my "Deleted Scenes" compilation: it's all in the "M&L3" chapter.**

Chapter 20: Fortress Fracas  


Midbus stormed onto the balcony of the shuddering castle, scowling as Goombas spilt from the upper ramparts all around him. "What? What is this?!"

"The ca… The castle… It's floating!" gasped the Goomba at his side.

Suddenly a monstrous roar filled the air and the castle was airborne.

"Use the gravity!" bellowed Midbus, gripping the doorway as his Goomba went flying with the rest. The Koopa at the controls was also holding on for dear life, but with great effort, she reached forward and just as her claws slipped, she flipped the switch that would at least ensure the castle didn't tip over as it sailed through the air.

Towering above the trees, Bowser watched as the castle crashed to the ground, but everyone else's eyes were on him.

"Big! Oui, so big! Big! Oui, so big!" gasped Broque, standing outside his ship and staring at his Koopa friend, Broggy jumping and barking madly at his side.

Elsewhere, the two Wigglers scowled and retreated into the Giga-Carrot hole. The normal-sized Bowser was destructive enough – they didn't want to risk getting squashed.

The trio of minions almost got squashed themselves, scrambling out of the way of Bowser's massive foot. Sgt. Guy and Goomp raced up the nearest trees to get a good view of what was happening above them as Paraplonk flew right up to the massive Dragon-Koopa. "King Bowser! You got really big all of a sudden… Whoa. Did it like…hurt?"

Bowser looked around. He could barely remember what had happened. He was pretty sure he died again – in the temporary sense. But usually when he was revived, he didn't grow this big. That took serious magic, and usually just pulling him back from the brink was all his minions could manage in one sitting. So what exactly had happened to him after the castle came crashing down?

**-xxxxx-**

Midbus braced himself as the castle smashed back down into the forest. He reminded himself to punish whoever was supposed to be on flight duty as he got to his feet. "Whuh-what is THAT?!" he gasped, gripping the railing as he looked over at the giant Koopa. "Looks like Bowser… But far too big… RECON UNIT!" A small propeller-driven airship rose up above the castle at his order. "You will deploy now. Identify that…thing."

"Leave it to us, Lord Midbus!" chorused the Shy Guy crew, flying over to Bowser. Snarling, Bowser punched it out of the sky with one throw of his fist, ignoring Paraplonk's chattering as he fluttered about. Three more airships flew up, smaller than the last one and just as easily defeated with a single blast of fire.

Midbus was getting impatient now. "What's taking so long?!" he demanded, walking back onto the ramparts. "Get within range. Observe closely."

The next bout of airships fared just as badly, but one Shy Guy was sent flying and landed near enough the castle to scramble back and report what happened. "Lord Midbus…" he shouted from in front of the gates, looking up at his leader on the front balcony as he struggled to find enough breath to call loud enough. "That huge thing… Was… Bowser…"

"WHAAAT?!" bellowed Midbus. "Typical. He is stubborn. Launch full assault!"

As the castle rocketed off the ground and barreled towards the Koopa King, his minions cheered him on from the sidelines.

"Fight, sir," beseeched Sgt. Guy.

"Don't lose, Bowser!" added Goomp.

"Leave it to me!" roared the giant, punching the castle as it made a run at him. When it landed he made his own run, punching it again and sending it skidding backwards through the forest. But as Bowser approached it again, it activated its rockets and checked him, sending him sliding back across the ruined ground. Taking to the sky, it followed him, deploying more airships. Bowser hit them out of the sky one by one, and then used a massive flare to blast the Spinies that were now pouring out of his castle. He snorted – it was a pretty sorry defense if he ever saw one, and with the ground clear once more, he charged at the castle.

As the fortress shook, troops who had sworn loyalty to Fawful felt their feet grow cold and fled into the woods. Those that he had brainwashed remained, and continued fighting alongside Midbus, but it was no use. Bowser was overflowing with unbridled power and made easy work of the battle, relentlessly pulverizing his castle with blow after blow. If he couldn't have it, no one would, and after a final fire blast, it crashed to the ground, explosions wracking its hallways as minions came spilling out.

Midbus himself leapt out of the damaged throne room and glared across the clearing at Bowser. "You have grown giant. As has your cheating!"

"Instead of crying, why not get big too?!" jeered Bowser, before blackening the pig with another fireball.

Coughing out soot, Midbus glowered at the Koopa. "You are a coward. Return to normal size. Only then do I fight!" Without another word he jumped back into the throne room, nodding at the Koopas at the controls to lift off.

Bowser growled as the castle started to leave, but before he could ground it with another flame, a tingling sensation filled his body, and in a surge of white light, he felt his excess energy dissipate into the air, leaving him small once more – and fifty feet in the air.

Falling like a rock, he landed with a crunch in the clearing below. Moaning, he pushed himself back onto his feet. Falls were a lot easier to bounce back from than being crushed, but he still felt rather dizzy from the whole thing. "Wow…" he said, shaking it off and thinking about just what had transpired. Yeah, he had been that big before – but usually he had control of when it happened and needed to drink a bunch of potions to make it work, at the very least. "Whoa! What was that all about?!"

Inside him, Starlow and the Mario Bros. were back on shore. The Emoglobin was gone and the boats had turned into a third Evoglobin, and neither it nor its other two companions were responding to the Marios' attempts to engage them in conversation. Hearing Bowser's questions, Starlow linked up with his mind. She _didn't_ know what it was all about, but she figured she should tell him _something_. "Well, I was just trying to do something to revive your body and… Whatever I did made your body get huge."

"Really?!" said Bowser. He had a funny feeling Chippy was behind it all. "Well, it was awesome! Do it again, and I'll be able to crush Fawful like a bug!"

"Unfortunately, it doesn't look like I can," said Starlow, being truthful this time as she looked at the unresponsive Evoglobins. "Apparently it only works in dire situations…"

"Really. Well… Weak." But Bowser didn't let that take _all_ the wind out of his sails. "Whatever. Even at this size, I can still take anyone! We'll be at my castle soon! And then it's payback time!"

The Mario Bros. also didn't pay it much worry and decided to return to Toad Square to let the others know everything was safe. But as they left the Rump Command, Starlow couldn't help but continue wondering what exactly had transpired in Bowser's body. Where had all the extra energy come from? And who crafted the illusion? She knew Bowser's subconscious mind must have helped out somehow – hence the Evoglobins and the Emoglobin beseeching Bowser's energy parasites to save him. But that still didn't explain the extra energy. She wondered again if it was Wisdurm, but when she tried to summon the Star Sage again, she got no response. Sighting, she supposed she'd just have to wait – but there was an answer to the mystery, and sooner or later, she was determined to find it.

**-xxxxx-**

"_So what do you thiiiiink?"_

"_She was very fortunate that you were there."_

"_She could have figured it out on her own, methiiiiinks."_

"_But before the river of carrot juice ran dry?"_

"_Whyyyy not?"_

"_Why indeed… she is unenlightened."_

"_But she's getting better, Chakronnnnn. At least she TRIIIIIIIED."_

"_Yes. She is indeed learning to stand on her own… I suppose…"_

"_She will make a fine Sage, I'm sure of iiiit."_

"_And in the meantime, you will remain in Bowser's energy? I fear that we will need a conduit to lend him our powers again before this is over."_

"_Of courssssse. You don't think I know what's at staaaaake?"_

"_You are a Sage, but you are still young, Wisdurm. You were not there. The ominous waves that crash upon you now are nothing like the whirlpool of evil that lies below."_

"_Theyyyy can handle iiiiiiiit."_

"_They HAVE to handle it…."_


	21. Castle in the Sky

Chapter 21: Castle in the Sky

Bowser had landed near the edge of the woods and decided it would be easier to go around the forest rather than cutting back through it, so he set off across Bumpsy Plains. It wasn't an overly interesting area, filled with tall yellowing grasses and dotted with streams leading to Blubble Lake to the Northwest. There was a sign for something called "Slide Fit"; Snifit-masked flowers called Flifits that were usually accompanied by blue Snifits with butterfly wings, of all things; tiny seed-like Sneed that Bowser could simply step on; and strange crown-wearing Lakitu that fled when they saw Bowser coming. As they should: no Koopa should wear a crown besides their one true king – of course, just because he could didn't mean that Bowser _wanted_ to. He knew who he was, and so did everyone else.

The sun was starting to set by the time Bowser made it to the entrance of the path leading to his castle. For his traveling ease, he had a crew of Monty Moles digging tunnels all across the Mushroom Kingdom. One day he hoped to lay down some new Warp Pipes to really speed things along, but for now, being able to walk from A to B underground was still a major advantage. With any luck, a tunnel straight to Toad Town would be completed soon – meaning he wouldn't even need to risk being seen as he flew between Peach's castle and his own fortress in his Clown Car. Yep, the tunnel project, or Project K, as Bowser had codenamed it, was one of his better plans. Usually he had all the entrances blocked off with boulders to keep law-abiding Mushroom Kingdom citizens out, but while a patch of tall grass still hit the Bumpsy Plains entrance, to Bowser's chagrin, he found no boulder.

In fact, it was pretty clear that interlopers _had_ breached the tunnel, for there was now a strange floating TV placed just within the entrance. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Bowser walked up to the TV, giving it a tentative whack and watching as Broque's face appeared on the screen.

"Ah! Monsieur Turtle Bits!" cried Broque, happy to see his friend back to his normal size. "Zis block called to you, honh? What is zis block, you think. I must know! What is it? Well, it is a shop block! Oui, with zis magnifique block, you can enjoy zee pleasures of shopping while traveling! I set zee blocks in many places while I was searching for my naughty little Broggy, oui. And with zem, you can be face-to-face with Broque Monsieur in an instant. How nice, eh? So tell me, Monsieur Turtle Bits. What is it you want, honh? If you desire, I can provide zee fresh negative-ion treatment!"

Deciding against letting someone besides Chippy screw around with his health for the time being, Bowser took his leave of Broque and went further into the tunnels, ignoring the sign telling him that the shortcut was still under construction. He soon discovered that the block man wasn't the only intruder, as the tunnels were crawling with Chain Comps infected by some sort of Fawfulized Sworm worms. Bowser figured they were what cleared out the boulder in the entrance and made a point to de-worm every Chomp he came across with his vacuum breath, trusting Chippy to make sure they didn't burrow into _his_ brain instead.

As he moseyed along, a sound other than the barking of freed Chain Chomps running amok echoed through the tunnels: "Huuungry…" Curious, Bowser followed the voices, glad they seemed to be coming from the same direction as the castle.

"Want out now…"

"Baaack hurts…"

"So sick of standing."

"Where's our Bowser…"

Entering the last section of recently-completed tunnel, Bowser caught sight of a cage filled with Shy Guys at the far end. The tunnel was covered in treadmills used to help carry out the rubble caused by new excavation, but for some reason they were all turned on now as well. And for reasons _completely_ beyond Bowser's understanding, someone had gone so far as to install a "Treadmill Fit" sign on the wall, advertising the health benefits of walking against treadmills as you commuted to the castle.

Bowser briefly wondered if some wise-guy minion put the sign up or if it had been one of Fawful's crew, but with a shrug, he set off across the treadmills. The Shy Guys didn't even notice his approach until he was right on top of them and smashing the cage apart. They stared in shock, but when the metal bars shattered and fell away off the platform and into the deep pit below, they found their voices with a vengeance.

"FREEEE!"

"King Bowser!"

"THANK YOOOU!"

Bowser grinned. "All right! C'mon, you guys!"

But as Bowser walked away, the Shy Guys remained on the platform, chattering excitedly to one another.

"Finally freeee!"

"Our king rules!"

"Hey, what's with all the chatter!" growled Bowser, walking back to the minions and getting carried away again by the treadmill as soon as he stopped to speak. Stomping back, he tried to get their attention again. "The chatter! Quit it!" Still no movement – if they didn't come this time, he was leaving them behind. "Move it!"

But this last shout got their attention. "SHOO-RAH!" they chorused, running back with Bowser. Like the Goombas, they swore to help Bowser whenever he needed them, but the Koopa King, as proud as ever, let them run off and continued on his own path alone. Upon exiting the tunnel, he could see his castle nearby, perched atop its usual column of rock in the middle of the volcano's mouth. He quickly hurried along the network of bridges linking the castle to the tunnel, fighting off more Swormy Chomps and the Fawfulcopters that now joined them overhead. There were a few Shy Guys here too, dressed in orange and wearing Fawful masks. Bowser didn't have time to wonder if they were traitors or had been brainwashed, and swatted the Fawful Guys away like flies as he bore down on the castle.

**-xxxxx-**

Unfortunately for Bowser, like his Banzai Bill, his enemies saw him coming and inside the castle, Midbus's right-hand Goomba jumped up in alarm. "My Lord Midbus! Bowser approaches!"

"MUH MUH! The clock strikes payback hour. Do plan two. To your posts!" he ordred, unconcerned about the Koopa King.

"Roger!" chorused both the Goombas at his side and at their signal, the castle's engines were fired up again and it lifted off.

**-xxxxx-**

Bowser growled in frustration – he had _just_ reached the center of the volcano. "Whatcha got now, huh?" he raged at the fleeing fortress. "Not that it matters much! I WILL have my revenge!" With a renewed fire in his belly, Bowser chased after the castle, mowing down everything that opposed him.

**-xxxxx-**

Watching his progress on the monitor in the throne room, Midbus laughed. "MUH MUH MUH! He crawls up like a Koopa. Such is Bowser's courage."

The Goombas shared a side-glance. _Koopa?_ How was that an insult?

"You rang?" asked a Koopa. The pig's voice carried far, and with his steadfast refusal to learn anyone's name, most of the minions assumed that if their species name was called and no one else went running, they were probably on the hook for something.

But not this time. "I DID NOT!" snorted Midbus, looking back at the monitors as the Koopa ran off. "Bowser! Next time, I punch your thigh bone, your eye bone, and your dry bone!"

Again, the Goomba's raised their eyebrows in confusion. Punch his _what_ bone?

"Ummm… Did you call?" asked a nearby Dry Bones, stepping forward.

"NO!" growled Midbus. Bowser's minions were _quite_ annoying sometimes.

"Thought not…" muttered the Dry Bones, returning to his guard post.

This time, Midbus indicated for the loudspeakers to be activated, and his voice echoed across the volcano. "Bowser! Next time goes a different way than this way went."

"Learn to speak already! And then bring it on, chump!" responded Bowser, knowing that his voice picked up by the surveillance equipment.

Midbus scowled. "Hmph. I scoff. I scoff at you. You bluff. If it time. The special weapon of Lord Fawful. I will release it. SUPER ULTRA WONDER ULTIMATE RUTHLESS GREAT IRON BALL! HYAH!"

Bowser watched as a canon raised out of the top of his castle, but rather than a Banzai Bill, it fired a massive cannonball through the air. _Who does this guy think he is? King K. Rool?_ guffawed Bowser to himself, but his eyes soon widened as he realized the pig had good aim – the cannonball was careening straight for him. "GOOOOOH!" he grunted as he caught the cannonball. Clearly, he still had some of the extra energy kicking around from his growth spurt earlier, and Starlow wanted to make sure he _stayed_ un-squashed this time. She hustled the Bros. to the familiar Arm Center for some quick energy sharing. "HOOORGH! NOOOOOOOOORGH!" Bowser strained as the familiar power boost flowed through his body. He was pretty sure it was Chippy behind it by this point, but that was fine with him as with a final "Hrroarg!" he chucked the cannonball straight back at his castle.

The cannonball hit home, and Bowser watched as the patch job that had been done on the castle fell away, revealing the damage he had done to it before while he was huge, and which was now joined by the new cannonball damage. Shuddering and smoking, the castle started to sink out of the air, but whoever was piloting it managed to get it to touch down on its landing place, rather than the lava all around it. Bowser roared in triumph. "Hmph! Like that, chump?" He then paused and took in the damage. _But… My castle…_ His temper flared over as he thought of everything Fawful and Midbus had made him do to his poor castle. "It will be mine again!" he vowed and headed back.


	22. Show Boat

Chapter 22: Show Boat

"WELLCOOOOME! A guest arriiiiives!"

"Welcome dear guest!"

"Guest!"

"Uh… Guest?" Bowser had braced himself for all manner of Fawfulized horrors when he entered his castle, especially after he got a glimpse of all the propaganda posters slapped on the wall outside. And indeed the place _had_ been subjected to some unfortunate redecorating: there were golden Fawful statues everywhere, and ugly swirly glasses had been plastered over every Bowser emblem on the walls and carpets. But one thing he _hadn't_ expected was to be greeted by a happy group of brainwashed Goombas. Or at least, he _hoped_ they were brainwashed.

"Welcome to Fawful Theater! Pleeease wait in the lobby! Soon the show will start!" said one of the Goombas.

"Fuh… Fawful Theater?! Don't joke with me! This is my castle!" stammered Bowser.

"Pleeease wait in the lobby! The show will soon start!" said another Goomba.

"Start!" parroted the Goomba in the back.

"HEY! IDIOTS! You KNOW me! Knock it off!" roared Bowser, blasting fire at the two middle Goombas who quickly jumped to safety, only to return seconds later.

"Pleeease wait in the lobby! The show will soon start!" they said in unison with the Goomba on the far left.

"Start!" chirped the fourth Goomba.

"NNNGRRRRARGH! STOP STAYING THAT!" he spat fire at the little creeps a second time, but again they just came running back.

"Pleeease wait in the lobby! The show will soon start!"

"Start!"

"Oh, boy. Looks like trouble up there," chimed in Starlow. "They won't listen to you. Fawful controls them now. They've been brainwashed."

"Crud!" snorted Bowser. He had figured out they were brainwashed on his own, but hearing confirmation from Chippy really hammered it home. "Great. Not only did this guy take over my castle, but now he's all up in my minions too!"

"Pleeease wait in the lobby! The show will soon start!"

"Start!"

With this final chorus they all stepped to the side to let Bowser pass.

"For now, I think you ought to go in and have a look around," advised Starlow.

"Stupid Fawful! That guy is gonna PAY!" roared Bowser, stomping to the doors leading to the inner chamber, but they were locked fast.

"Oh boy, I wonder what performance Lord Fawful will give tonight. Yaaah! Yaaaaaaaah! I wanna see it now! Right now! Right now!" moaned the Koopa next to Bowser.

"I've been camped out at the front of the line for 10 days now – for Lord Fawful's show!" said a nearby Dry Bones. "I'm totally starving! Seriously. I mean, just look at me! I'm down to bones over here!"

Bowser wanted to remind him that he wouldn't have even known who Fawful _was_ ten days ago, but he had had enough of arguing with brainwashed minions for one day after talking to the Goombas. Unable to push open the door, he wandered over to another room, listening in disgust as the various minions chattered on about their beloved Fawful. Most of them were random nobodies, but Bowser _did_ recognize that one gay Koopa-Boo couple gushing over a poster of Fawful. They ignored him, however, and no one else recognized him. Or if they did, they did a good job at hiding it.

"This castle… It had a name… Long ago… Browser's Castle? Mouser's Castle? Wowser? Ummmmm… Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Darn it, just not remembering," said one Shy Guy, coming closer than anyone else to breaking through the brainwashing, but as he struggled, the doors at the end of the hallway opened and a voice came on the overhead speakers.

"Tonight's Fawful Show begins SOOOOOOOOON!"

"YES! FINALLY!" cried the Koopa at the front.

"That seat up front is mine!" said the Dry Bones, hurrying after him.

"Guess it doesn't matter," shrugged the Shy Guy, hurrying to enter along with the others. Bowser waited for the stampede to clear before he followed the hoard through the doors and past the pools of lava.

"The show starts soooooon! Please take your seats!"

"Seats!"

Bowser scowled at the pair of Goombas flanking the door as he entered the inner chamber. It was unrecognizable from his old design, with a stage set up at one end and rows on rows of chairs facing it. Someone else might be impressed that Fawful had converted the castle into a theater in the twelve or so hours he had owned the place, but all Bowser saw was the defilement of his property – and he knew the only reason Fawful could have pulled it off was using Bowser's poor, brainwashed troops. The same troops that now filled all the seats, calling for the show to start.

Bowser supposed that _would_ be the best way to get his hands on the little Bean: wait for him to come on stage, and then 'pow', it'd be curtains for him. But looking around the room, Bowser noticed one slight problem with the plan. "There are NO seats left?!" he looked around some more, but there was no question about it. "Man, not a seat in the house! Where do I lodge a complaint?!" Turning on his heel he marched back towards the door, calling out to the Goombas. "HEY!"

"Yessss? What is it?" asked the Goomba on the right.

"It!" echoed the second one.

"I have no seat!" huffed Bowser.

"Yes, take an open seat, pleeeease."

"Pleeeease!"

Bowser rolled his eyes. "There are NO open seats! Do something now!"

"Oh, dear guest, I feel for you, but there's naught I can dooo."

"Oooo!"

Bowser was getting impatient now. "Both of you, zip it! I AM KING BOWSER!"

"Is there a problem?"

The first Goomba sighed with relief as a third Goomba walked over. "Oh, Boss, phew! This guy…"

Suddenly the parrot Goomba cut him off. "So, this big galoot here, right? He's all like, I have no seeeat! No seeat! And he won't shut up! But he won't stop, and we're all, we just can't do it, buddy, OK? So we have no idea what to do. And this lug's getting surlier. He's not going away. And he has no seat! Nothing! Not a chance! So we do some solid thinking and totally fail. No big seats! I mean, we got small seats! We can do a small seat, sure, but this guy's huge, so he's not gonna fit in a small one! Please! And it's kinda bugging me, 'cause I'm on my feet all day! I mean, I'd LOVE to sit in ANY seat! It's like, hey, pal, how about you do our job, just once, y'know? It'd break him in two seconds! I work hard, Boss! Really hard! And this dude sits through life?! So spoiled! It makes me ill! All the suffering in the world, and this guy's seating problem is urgent? Nooooooo!" He looked around at the shocked faces of Bowser and the other two Goombas. "Oooo!" he echoed.

"Uh… Right. Gotcha," said the Goomba manager. "Whoa," he added under his breath, before turning to Bowser. "Um… So the issue here is this guest lacks a seat?"

"I'm not a guest! I AM KING BOWSER!" And he as getting tired of no one knowing who he was. Maybe he _should_ start wearing a crown…

"Bowser? Aha! King Bowser! Of course! How stupid of me! I was just handed your name! Lord Fawful has arranged for special VIP treatment for you! Only the finest, of course! So, my dear King Bowser! Allow me to guide you to your special seat! This way, please!"

"Oh yeah? Really? The VIP treatment?" grinned Bowser, his wounded ego bouncing back and silencing the warning bells that should have been going off about the prospect of 'special treatment'.

"Prepare a VIP SEEEEEEAT!" called the Goomba, motioning for Bowser to move aside. Once he was next to the Goomba, a trap door opened up in the flood where he had been standing and a large chair, completely with a spiked shell design on the back, rose into view.

"Bingo! Just perfect! That seat is pure Bowser!" The Koopa King strutted forward to the chair. He hadn't sat down all day – how he missed his throne.

As Bowser made himself comfortable, the overhead crackled to life once more. "And now, without further ado, THE FAWFUL SHOOOOOOOW!"

"Ooooh!" echoed the Goomba at the back of the room as the lights dimmed and the audience went silent.

"I HAVE FAWFUL!" cried Fawful from the darkened stage. Spotlights blinked on and off, showing Fawful in various poses as he spun in place and mugged for the audience, before the whole stage became illuminated in flashing lights and he came dropping down from above. "Excited crowd! You feel it?" he called, and they cheered in response. "Fawful is also feeling it! I am needing to feel it more, though!" The crowd obliged, but fell quiet as his gesture. "MORE!" he commanded, and they screamed. "MOOORE!" The screams were almost definitely. In the back of the room, Bowser felt sick – they never roared this loudly when he held pre-invasion pep rallies.

"Oh, I am feeling the power! It high-fives Fawful's face!" The Bean skipped and spun around. "And now I will use that power to call our most special guest, who you will be cheering! Today's special guest… The famous Koopa King… BOWSER!"

Bowser's eyes opened wide, but before he could react, his chair was zooming forward along a buried track, sending him flying onstage and into the back wall.

Fawful laughed as Bowser crashed to the ground in a daze. "I HAVE CHORTLES! It is an entrance of amazement! Like only a special guest does! Now a Midbus battle will unfold like an angry dip of many layers on the chips of wildest hopes!"

Bowser pushed himself to his feet, shaking his head clear. He _had_ wanted to get on stage, but not like this, and he snarled at the smug little Bean. "YOU! FAWFUL!" he roared, aiming a flying punch at his foe, but Fawful spin out of the way.

He laughed as he circled back around Bowser. "I HAVE CHORTLES! COME! MIDBUS!"

Bowser turned as Midbus came lumbering over from stage left, backing up as the pig marched straight up to him. "You have come," he grunted. "As I expected. Now it is time. Now we will fight! Then you will lose! And you will cry!"

As Midbus beat his chest aggressively, a cage dropped down from the ceiling, penning Bowser in with the brute.

"It is the time!" said Fawful from outside the cage. "The Heavyweight Cage War of All Destruction! Midbus! Crush this spiky snack, and we will have more chortles!"

Bowser did _not_ like the thought of being exploited for entertainment – especially not for the entertainment of his own brainwashed (and/or turncoat) minions. Being stuck in a confined space with Midbus wasn't too appealing either, but Bowser was damned if he was going to let it show. "Really!" he snorted, mustering his bravado. "You lugged yourself up onstage, huh? Nice! Now I can give these folks a REAL show!"

Midbus opened with a bouncing attack, curling into a ball like an Army armadillo and ricocheting around the small cage, but unlike at Cavi Cape, Bowser was feeling well enough to counter it with his own body check, his spiked shell meeting Midbus' armor and sending him flying back. He landed on his feet and Bowser sent a blast of fire at him, only to watch as it was dissipated by the ball and chain the pig was now spinning around him. Bowser ducked under the whirling metal as Midbus spun towards him like a top – a move he undoubtedly learned from Fawful. But Bowser wasn't ready for what came next and was sent flying back into the bars when Midbus, having spun to the other end of the cage, suddenly let the ball and chain fly – straight into Bowser's face.

The crowd cheered and threw coins and pieces of food onto the stage, which Midbus quickly snapped up. Snarling, Bowser got to his feet and charged, but Midbus countered with his own punch. The two were locked in a dead heat, neither one giving an inch. Finally Bowser landed a blow and sent Midbus reeling, and to his surprise, the crowd cheered for _him_ for a change. But the ego boost was short lived as Midbus attacked again, clearly frustrated that the Koopa King was holding his own this time. Standing outside the cage, Fawful watched impassively as Bowser slowly gained the upper hand. He had _hoped_ Midbus would win, but he knew better than to count on it, and when Bowser finally sent Midbus falling flat on his rear in a daze with a massive barrage of punches, Fawful called the match.

Standing triumphantly over the pig, Bowser watched as the cage was hoisted back to the ceiling. As a pair of Goombas dragged Midbus away and Bowser turned to the cheering crowd, Fawful took his place beside the Dragon-Koopa. "And the winning is for… BOWSERRRR!"

"BWAHAHAHA!" roared Bowser as the crowd screamed its approval. "That's right! Lemme hear it! Keep those cheers coming! You remember me now, I bet! The unbeatable King Bowser!"

"Such a fight of fury!" gushed Fawful, turning to Bowser, but the Koopa King saw through him.

"SHUT IT!" snarled Bowser, his expression darkening one more. "You think I forgot my castle?! Old pink was just a warm-up! Now I punt you outta here!"

"Oh, Fawful is leaving!" reassured the Bean. "But first! You had victory! Now the celebrate!"

"Celebrate?" said Bowser warily.

"Yes, at the magic feast of honor! COME! BOOS!"

"You rang?" Bowser turned as a Boo floated up from stage right, not noticing the other two Goombas coming up behind him. "Ah, our winner! The king, Bowser…" The Boo looked him up and down. "Looks promising!"

"Heehee!" giggled the two Goombas, sticking their tongues out at Bowser.

"His belly cries out for the magic feast of honor!" said Fawful, drawing Bowser's attention from the insolent specters.

"We're on it, sir! This way, please, King Bowser!" said the first Boo.

"Hmph! Seems suspicious," snorted Bowser as the Boos giggled behind him again. But then again, even if the crowd loved him now, he wasn't sure how well punching out Fawful would go over, and if there were more Boos waiting in the rafters, he could have a pretty nasty fight on his hands. He was pretty tired from roughing up Midbus, and it _was_ past dinner time – he hadn't eaten since the Giga-Carrot, and he always fought better on a full stomach. His mind made up, Bowser decided to play along – for now. "But you're going to such trouble… BWAHAHAHA!"


	23. A Pair of Princesses

Chapter 23: A Pair of Princesses

Bowser followed the Boos to the dining hall (glad to see that _some_ things about his castle hadn't changed). His stomach really started growling when he caught sight of the glut of food covering the tables. "Whoa! Nice spread!"

"Yes, a victory feast! Please, we insist that you eat all you like!" said the lead Boo.

"Heehee!" laughed the other two Boos as they all turned and floated back to the door. Fawful had already wandered off, which was annoying because it meant Bowser would have to track him down later in order to clobber him, but for now, he had to tend to himself first anyway.

"BWAHAHAR! So many greasy, succulent, very unhealthy dishes! I've been craving this stuff like crazy!" His thoughts wandered back to the awful carrot and the preachy Wiggler. He snorted and pushed the distasteful memories away. "I'm gonna eat it all!"

"Bon appetit!" said the Boo at the door, his eyes gleaming as he watched Bowser scarf six whole dishes one after another, belching contentedly after each one. After swallowing the last morsel, he grunted. "Uuuuurp… Oh, man… Getting kinda full…"

"Hmmmmm? Done eating?" Seeing Bowser heading towards the door, the Boos floated up to intercept him. "But we went to great lengths to make King Bowser the most high-calorie, high-fat dishes! You love this stuff. So please! Eat more."

The three Boos pushed against Bowser, sliding him back towards the table.

"Nah, I'm sick of eating!" he protested, straining against them.

"Hush now, don't say that. Here! How about we just feed it to you! Please! We insist! This way!"

"Hey, what are you doing!" snarled Bowser as they pushed at him again.

"You've been walking all day – surely you need to eat more!" said the lead Boo, grinning sinisterly up at Bowser as the other two Boos flew around the room and piled all the donuts and hot wings they could find onto massive plates. More Boos flew in and ferried the food from the plates to Bowser.

The Koopa tried to resist, but there was something in the food that was wearing away his mental resolve, and one after another, the Boos forced more and more into his gullet. "Open wiiiiide… Say aaaaah!" coached the lead Boo as Bowser obediently chewed the dishes, swallowing them bones and all. "Here, have more… C'mon, open up!"

Bowser was feeling very strange. And not just in the fact that he seemed to have lost all free will against the Boos, but physically as well. Like his limbs and belly were growing thick and sluggish. "Huurk! Did I just… put on a few pounds?"

"Heehee! It's all in your head!" lied the Boo. "Please, we insist, eat more!"

Now ham was being shoveled into his face. And cake and more chicken and donuts, and the Boos were coming faster than ever. It was all Bowser could do to keep from choking, and looking down he caught sight of his swollen belly and pudgy fingers, and the flesh of his arms spilling out on either side of his constricting bracers. "Hey! Look at me! This isn't normal!" he protested.

"Heehee! You're imagining things! You must keep eating, please!" sneered the Boo as the Boos forced more and more food into the swelling Dragon-Koopa until he finally had enough.

"Stop!" begged Bowser as the floor beneath him creaked. "You with the ham! No more! I can't take it! There's no denying it now! I'm nowhere near as svelte as I used to be! I'm chubby!"

"Yeah, you are! Heehee!" cackled the lead Boo as the others finally backed off. "It only makes sense! You eat so many of Lord Fawful's special high-calorie, high-fat dishes… Of course you'll gain weight!"

"Pretty impressive fat, though!" grinned another one of the Boos.

"Heehee! Yeah, you're a king of chub!" jeered a third, and all three laughed aloud.

"Hey! You jerks!" roared Bowser as all five Boos floated away. "You knew all along I'd get like this, and you kept cramming me with food!" He made to follow them. But when he took his first step, the entire floor shuddered and shook and suddenly gave way beneath him. Bowser stuck fast halfway through, his legs and lower body hanging in mid air. He tried pushing himself up, but it was no use. "NNNNGRAAAH! Haah… Haah… Haah…" He felt weak – like all his energy had been sapped by the food. He couldn't pull himself free by himself. "Huh-hey! Chippy! Can you hear me?"

"Yes, yes. I hear you. Looks like Fawful tricked you easy as you please!" came Starlow's mocking voice.

"Sh-shut up! And after you shut up, turn me back to my usual trim self!"

"Ahahahahahahaha! Sounds to me like you should go on a diet!"

"I fell into the FLOOR, genius!" snarled Bowser. As if things weren't embarrassing enough, now Chippy was mocking him too. "I'm stuck! YOU do something! Burn off all this blubber!"

"Hmmmm… What to do… What to do… I guess I'll do something when I feel like it! YELLO GOOD-BYE!"

"Hey! I'm serious! Do something! NNNNGRAAAH!"

Starlow rolled her eyes, annoyed at how soon Bowser had gotten himself into _another_ jam. How did even function before she came along? Careening headlong from one crisis to another – no wonder he always lost.

But she had to admit, this wasn't _completely_ his fault. As Bowser had suspected, the food had been spiked with a potion or a spell, but it did far more than mess with his head: as soon as he swallowed it, it entered his hammerspace. Just like the carrot, only Starlow wasn't doing it: something in the food was reacting with the power of the Vacuum Shroom, piggybacking into Bowser's energy pool and flooding it before even Starlow could stop it. Just as the power surge before had turned Bowser giant, so too did this excess energy manifest itself as a physical change, making Bowser swell like a bloated toad until he could barely move, much less pull himself out of the floor.

But Starlow had no intention of expunging the energy just yet. What Fawful wasn't counting on was that Bowser carried something within him that could repurpose the new energy. Sinking her own metaphorical teeth into the energy that surrounded her, she spun her next illusion and turned to the Mario Bros. "Well, his sudden weight gain must have produced some changes in his body… Sounds like a perfect time to look for Princess Peach!" They couldn't agree more and quickly headed over to the new Flab Zone area. Starlow based the overall design on the plan Toadbert had crafted in his explorations, making her own task a lot easier and with the Bros. distracted, she turned her attention to Peach.

She was gonna resolve Peach if it took every last drop of the energy glut to wrench her apart from Bowser's filthy soul – his grip was too strong until now, but harnessing the power of Fawful's food, Starlow knew she could do it this time. She drilled into Bowser's blackened heart with as much force as she could muster, swiftly locating Peach's shining soul in the shadows. There was no way she was relenting now, and throwing caution to the wind, she brute-forced the princess's energy apart from Bowser's, severing the grip that had always repelled her before the food energy came along. She quickly made sure the princess was intact and gave her form, depositing her far enough ahead of the Mario Bros. to have a chance to hit the fake Emoglobin Starlow conjured next to her, and learn the cover story of what had happened to her, and where she purportedly was now.

But Starlow's actions had repercussions, and Bowser's soul fought back against the red and green invaders with its own renewed vigour, filling the Flab Zone with hostile energy entities. There were Tenderlings that looked, puzzlingly enough, like chunks of meat on a bone, as well as living balls of fire called Calorites. But the Mario Bros. were rested and ready to fight, and made short work of everything that opposed them, stopping only to check out an Emoglobin blabbering on about the bouncy pink floors. But that wasn't all Bowser's power had in store for them, and Peach herself suddenly found herself faced with an angry ball of power.

"EEEK!" Her startled scream greeted the Mario Bros. as they entered the next area.

Catching sight of the princess on a nearby platform, they cried out with relief, and hearing their "Who-ho's!" and "Yeah-hah's!", Peach turned her back on the ball of energy and is glowering eyes and smiled with relief at the plumbers.

"MARIO! LUIGI! So Bowser inhaled you two as well!"

"Hi, Princess!" grinned Starlow, entering the illusion herself.

"Starlow! You too?"

"We've been looking for you high and low! What in the world happened? And what's that thing there?" Starlow knew Peach wouldn't know, but as always, the web of lies needed to be upheld, and so she feigned her ignorance.

"I haven't the slightest idea! I was looking for the exit, and this thing attacked me…" As Peach spoke more of the Kretins appeared, floating closer and suddenly attacking the princess. "EEEK!" she screamed as they surrounded her, while Mario, Luigi and Starlow watched in horror.

Starlow regained her composure first as the ball of Kretins flew away with Peach in their midst. She couldn't believe it – why couldn't Bowser just give up on possessing the poor girl already? He was truly rotten on the inside through and through, but Starlow was no quitter either. "Those blobby things got her! We have to save the princess! After them!"

"Oh yeah!" shouted Mario, springing forward.

"Okay," agreed Luigi, following his brother as they ran after the Kretins. The creatures paused over a pool of bubbling goo for a moment, but as soon as the Mario Bros. got close, it took off again. Recognizing danger when he saw it, Mario skidded to a halt at the side of the pool, but Luigi ran on ahead.

"Weegie!" called Mario.

Luigi stopped, balancing on the narrow stepping stones he had been using to cross the pool, but no sooner had he turned to face Mario when the blocks started to sink.

"Luigi!" screamed Mario as his panicking brother disappeared into the pool. Watching the scene unfold, Starlow couldn't understand what was happening – _she_ hadn't made that happen. It was the Rump Command all over again: Bowser was hijacking her illusion, but this time, it wasn't for the better.

Standing on the shore, Mario stared into the pool, his thoughts torn between diving in to try and save his brother or to come back for him once Peach was safe. Suddenly female laugher filled the air and a glowing figure emerged from the broiling goo. It was a large, ugly blob with a treasure in one hand – _and Luigi in the other_.

"Be not alarmed. We are Princess Lipid. We rule o'er yon mucus membranes," said the thing.

Mario stared at it in confusion. Starlow was confused too – she didn't think Bowser's soul would ever choose a _female_ avatar, but she supposed this could be the result of some sort of energy echo Peach left in the ether. It would certainly explain the latest blob creature's gender, but it was also a rather… disturbing thought.

"Thou hast dropped something in yon mucus pool, methinks," continued the blob.

"Oh yeah!" Mario nodded.

"What hast thou dropped in our mucus pool? Mayhap 'twas this treasure of e'erlasting wonder? Or mayhap thou hast dropped this shabby green mustachioed man? We shall now ask for the formal answer."

"Mm-hmm," nodded Mario, but before he could say anything more, Lipid cut him off.

"So! Thine claim layeth upon this treasure of e'erlasting wonder? 'Twas an impulsive choice?"

"No," said Mario, shaking his head, but again Lipid cut him off.

"Lies!" As she spoke, she started to carelessly swing the unconscious Luigi back and forth. "Temptation surfaced upon thy face at the mere mention of the treasure of e'erlasting wonder!"

"No! I-a just want my-a brother back!" cried Mario.

"Ah…" the blob understood now. "The shabby green man is thy brother, and better than a treasure of e'erlasting wonder?"

"Oh yeah!"

"…Tee hee!" smiled Lipid. "Very well. We shall say that the shabby green man is what thou dropped!"

Spinning Luigi in circles, she tossed him high into the air, but his consciousness returned as soon as the hold Bowser's energy had on him was released and he stuck the landing with a flourish. "Hah!"

"Yahoo!" cheered Mario.

"Hark! A landing to be lauded! Thine shabby brother is nimble! To shabby, nimble green man and his loyal brother, we giveth the treasure of e'erlasting wonder!" With that, Lipid teleported the chest from her hand to Mario's. She smiled at the brothers. "Honesty begets fortune… If ever thou findest our words to be true, remember us!" She then sunk back into the pool, calling out one last time. "Fare thee well!"

Starlow knew the whole thing was just Bowser's energy trying to stall them, but hit with sudden inspiration, she entered the illusion again. "What was that treasure of whatever wonder you got?"

As her prompt, Mario opened the chest, and pulled out a pair of badges that Starlow had just materialized for them out of the food energy. They were always giving energy to Bowser, but from now on, she wanted them to be able to take energy from their ill-tempered host if they needed it in a pinch.

"WOW! If you wear those badges in battle, you'll see some special effects!" she explained. "Oh yeah! Those things can turn the tide in battle!" Below her, the chest shuddered. She peered down at it – she should have known it wouldn't be that easy. "Something else in there?" she wondered, glad that only a pair of Tenderlings popped out, and not something worse.

Still, she wanted the battle to be over as soon as possible and using the badges as conduits, she healed them both with some of the food energy. As they fought, Princess Lipid rose from the pool again, trying to distract them with her own gifts of power boosts and preachings of meters and honesty before sinking away with a final statement of "I abide…"

Starlow thought Bowser's subconscious had some nerve trying to butt in on _her_ gift to the Mario Bros. and lecture them about honesty of all things. Bowser lied way more than they did. Heck, Starlow lied more than they did. Or at least, more than Mario. Luigi was… a complicated case, to say the least, but Starlow knew better than to hold some of the hidden shadows of his heart against him. Unlike Bowser, Luigi was still a good man, and that's all that mattered.


	24. Nuts

Chapter 24: Nuts

To Starlow's frustration, Bowser's subconscious had managed to completely scramble the area: it was a total maze, and she was as lost as the Bros. as they wandered about fighting off Tenderlings. She had to do something, lest the Kretins did more than simply hold Peach hostage and tried to reintegrate her back into Bowser's energy. As well as hostile forces, Starlow could also sense Emoglobins up ahead, and decided to try and force them to give the Mario Bros. useful advice about how to get through the maze. Breaking the moody blobs soon proved harder than Starlow would have expected, but with Bowser's energy driving the illusion, Starlow was able to focus almost all her attention on her task, and when the Bros. reached the first Emoglobin, they found a creature unlike anything they had encountered up until that point.

"Speak the name Nutsoglobin… Label me if you must, O world! Label me nuts! Label me naughty! To you I cry out GLOBIN!" Mario and Luigi stared at the so-called 'Nustoglobin'. Rather than the usual flesh colour, this Emoglobin was blue and wrinkly all over its head, with its eyes mimicking triangular black sunglasses. "Hear me, O traveler, where the lost wander witless for their lives. I could tell the correst-ish way to you. That would be globin…. But oh, I am nuts! I am naughty! So says the world and globin! So I offer no hint-ish things! That is, unless you have quality time with Nutsoglobin. Then I may tell the correst-ish way. More, you ask? There may be a great-ish bonus for you as well, and that is the globin. So, hang out with Nutsoglobin?"

The two plumbers shook their heads.

"Really? REALLY? Typical globin. Do as you will, O witless ones! Wander for the rest of your lives, and weep foolish tears!"

As the Nutsoglobin returned to its block state in a huff, Starlow linked with the Bros. "Guys, we don't have time to wander around the maze – if this thing knows the way we need to go, we should hear it out."

Mario and Luigi looked at each other and shrugged – Starlow had a point, and they might as well at least give it a try.

Upon being struck by Mario, the Nutsoglobin turned from a block to a face again, and before they could change their minds, it shouted at the top of its (metaphorical) lungs. "Without further globin, it's the Bowser Brain Train! Let's get this globin started! Folks, the category is: Bowser! It's all Bowser! Top to bottom! Grin to globin! I mean Bowser! Lots of queries! Lots of "Huh?" Some "Wow!" Maybe a "Duh?" Think you've got the globin! Then let the globin begin!" Suddenly it dropped it voice. "Oh, but first… The questioning… Yes, you ask Bowser questions. He will hear you by the power of globin. I don't mind telling you that his answers and those in the quiz may be very similar-ish. But free it is not! Is anything, in the odd, globin world? No. Bowser questions cost 5 coins. A scam, you say, O cheap one? Go cry on your globin. Life is tough, even in a Koopa King. Decide, or be forever saddened! Will you ask Bowser questions?"

This was _not_ what Starlow had set out to accomplish, but before she could tell the Bros. that they were right and that messing around with the Nutsoglobin was going to take too long, they had nodded their assent to the blob.

"By the power of globin, let's… BIG BAD BOWSER BRAIN TRAIN!" It suddenly floated up and out of the illusion, its voice now echoing all around the Marios. "Come in… Hello? Bowser? Do you globin me?"

"Whuh? Whuzzat? Who's talking?" demanded Bowser. No one had come into the dining hall since he had gotten stuck, and while having your rear end hanging through a hole in the floor was far from comfortable, he had begun to doze off. Now he was wondering if he was dreaming.

"It's me! You know me! Inside your body," said the Nutsoglobin.

"'Me'? Inside my body? You mean Chippy?"

"No, ME! Don't you know me? I'm the only me there is!"

Starlow was torn between her desire to see how this played out and her desire to somehow shut the Nutsoglobin up and move on from this delay in Peach's rescue.

"Oh, that's real helpful! 'Me' could mean anything!" snorted Bowser.

"Oh, for the love of globin… You have forgotten poor me. Your ingratitude wounds me. Me, the one who molded you… Sniff… Forgot me…"

Delay or not, Starlow decided it was worth it – she had always loved a good show, and Bowser talking to himself was hilarious. Besides, the communication link was between Bowser and his own energy – of course, it was slightly scrambled energy, courtesy of Starlow, but she wasn't sure if she could break the connection even if she wanted to.

"ENOUGH! WHO ARE YOU?!" bellowed Bowser.

"It's ME! MEEEEEEEEEEEE! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!" and then punctuated for emphasis, "M-E."

Bowser blinked in bewilderment. Compared to Chippy and Chakroad guy, this voice was _far_ crazier. It made Bowser wonder if maybe his own sanity was starting to slip.

"…Oh, scared silent by me? Me, who shuns all imitation. Me, the one true globin. Now pull yourself together and answer questions for me! First up, how is your body condition? Besides the current fatishness – that is not globin."

Bowser snorted, but cooperating was generally the best way to get the voices to leave him alone, so he went along with it. "What? You wanna know how my body's doing? Well… I guess normal. No big complains, anyway. I guess my throat's kinda dry… And actually, now that you mention it, my head feels fuzzy. Yeah… Great, now you got me paranoid, and other places are feeling kinda weird! There goes my stomach! It's all gurgly and hot! And I know exactly why! I mean, I ate a ton here, but before that, I ate this huge Giga-Carrot. That's what did it! Look, I don't wanna talk about it anymore, OK? If I keep thinking about this, my whole body will shut down!"

"No way! You are far to globin to shut down. I will not let you globin down! Next question: how globin is your flying castle?"

"Huh? You wanna hear about Bowser Castle? Gee, it's only the best castle ever made! Take a look from a distance! Powerful and awe-inspiring design choices slap your face! It's like looking at me! And I didn't even mention the best part! Underneath it, there's a chamber full of treasure! The treasure I took by force sleeps in a pile down there like a giant, golden baby! But… My awesome castle… That stupid Fawful! The guy remodeled the whole thing! He turned my military training facility into the Fawful Theater! That's wrong in so many ways! No, Fawful! Not on my watch! When I get out of here, I'm making it the Bowser Theater!"

Mario and Luigi rolled their eyes at Bowser's conceitedness as the Nutsoglobin floated back down.

"Globin. Now for 3 questions! Answer all correct-ish to win! And Nutsoglobin shows the way. Miss just one, and the brain train halts! And Nutsoglobin shows naught but utter scorn. Misery compounds for you, then, as you fight for my pleasure! Now, in the name of globin… BIG BAD BOWSER BRAIN TRAIN… BEEEEEGIN!"

Unfortunately, Mario and Luigi hadn't been paying as close attention to Bowser's monologues and missed one of the questions. At the end of the three questions, the Nutsoglobin grinned sadistically at them. "BRAIN TRAIN COMPLETE! Cute how wrong-ish you are. You're like a sad little globin. And now you reap a bad reward! Fight for Nutsoglobin's globin! BEAST-ISH ATTACK!" Mario and Luigi braced themselves, but the only thing that came plopping out of the pipe above them was a pair of Tenderlings. "GET THEM! FOR GLOBIN!"

But the Tenderlings were no match for the Bros., and making a lucky guess, they progressed through the maze without a hint. They considered guessing again when they found themselves faced with another Nutsoglobin, but decided not to push their luck and spoke to it.

"O traveler, simply have some quality time with Nutsoglobin to learn the correct-ish route. Hang you with Nutsoglobin?" When the Bros. nodded, the Emoglobin continued. "Without further globin, it's the Bowser Brain Train! Now boarding once again, the BIG BAD BOWSER BRAIN TRAIN! Globin time, what's your plan?"

Determined to listen carefully this time, the Bros. handed the Nutsoglobin some coins and bade it to go up and talk to Bowser. They wondered what a cell in Bowser's body needed with coins, but right now, that wasn't the question they wanted answered.

"Bowser? Do you globin me?"

"I think I'm going nuts…" moaned Bowser. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

"Well, grab hold of your globin, and answer questions for me! What kind of globin is Fawful's cooking?"

"What? Fawful's cooking? Guy can't cook! It was nasty! I spat it out, it was so gross! …Well, I wanna say that, but actually, the dude's a prodigy. The flavors were unbelievable! You know what I liked the best? General Fawful's Spicy Chicken! I mean, it was spicy, but INSIDE the spice was delicacy and body and, man, I could eat it forever! And the flavors in his cake… THEY BLEW MY MIND! I'm talking about rich cream and fluffy sponge exploding in your mouth like a taste volcano! Believe me, I was shocked a guy that weird had such skills!"

"Don't judge a globin by its cover. Judge a book… by its globin. Now what globin does the girl messing with _my_ globin have? Judge it now!"

"What? You're asking how I feel about this Chippy in my body?" guessed Bowser. "Well, I'm not a fan, I gotta say. She's always yapping about whatever, which I don't need. She comes off kinda superior, too, which ticks me off! But beyond all that, I don't even know what she is! I mean, how long's she been in there?! I wanna know where she is, just once. That's all. But hey, she's in there fixing up all the nasty parts in my bod, so I can't complain, right? Yeah, I'll have her work for a few more shifts, you know? GWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Starlow definitely paid attention to _that_ monologue – had she been corporeal, she would be shaking with rage. The nerve of Bowser: _he_'s the one always coming off as superior, with his him-shaped castles and stolen treasure and everything else. And work some more shifts? Seriously? Did he think she couldn't hear him? He was stupid _and_ horrible, and he didn't _deserve_ to know who Starlow really was.

While the Star Sprite fumed to herself, the Nutsoglobin returned to the illusion. "Globin. Now for 5 questions! Answer all correct-ish to win! And Nutsoglobin shows the way. Miss just one, and the brain train makes a stop of shame! Now, let's make with the globin. BIG BAD BOWSER BRAIN TRAIN… BEEEEEGIN!"

This time, the Mario Bros. were careful and got all the answers right.

"BRAIN TRAIN COMPLETE! All answers correct-ish! GLOOOOOOOOOOBIN! A bonus soars on a rainbow as you bask in all correct-ish answers! A gift of 100 coins! Big surprise! You spend quality time with Nutsoglobin and get rewarded. Such is globin." A sack of money straight from Bowser's personal hammerspace stores appeared in the illusion and Mario happy took it while the Nustoglobin continued rambling. "And now your globin is at hand. I yield the correct-ish way. O wandering road, where do you wander? Through the green pipe on the top-right-ish platform! But if you have not learned to fly far, then wait a globin… And choose the red pipe on the bottom-right-ish platform! I am not so nuts nor naughty. Nutsoglobin would never lie."

On the Nutsoglobin's advice, the Bros. took the nearby red pipe and eventually came across a gross pimply projection sticking out of the ground, which Mario hit with a hammer, causing it to rupture and let out a blast of air that the formed a whirlwind above them. This was Starlow's doing, in order to make it easier for them to navigate the maze in parts, and as they stared up at the swirling air, she entered the illusion.

"Hey… This whirlwind… Think you can use it?" Upon receiving nothing in return but blank stares, she tried another prompt. "Well, I mean, what if you just jumped into the middle of it?"

They pondered for a moment, and then Mario jumped up excitedly. "Oh yeah! Luigi, remember when we were in the-a Beanbean Kingdom and we-a had that trick?"

Luigi's face brightened as he figured out what Mario was getting at.

"Get any good ideas?" said Starlow.

"Oh yeah!" said Mario.

"Yeah!" echoed Luigi. They then proceeded to show her their old spin jump technique. It baffled Starlow's mind how many skills the Bros. had but never used in most of their adventures, but after a couple practice jumps, Mario and Luigi had shaken all the rust off. She was glad – the sooner they got through the maze, the better.

**-xxxxx-**

"What? My current body shape? You mean, like, at the moment? Why don't you just… LOOOOOOOK AT ME! I'm immobile, genius! Even if I wanna do evil, I can't move! You think I'm gonna strut out in front of Peach and the rest of them like this?! PLEASE! Especially Mario! I'm not letting that dude see me this out of shape! That'd be insane! …Although actually, the extra poundage might just pancake the little guy into dust… BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not a bad evil plan, if I do say so myself!"

Bowser had gotten used to the Nutsoglobins pestering him for personal information by that point, and didn't even try to ask what was talking to him this time. Besides, it's not like he had anything else to do – after all, he was stuck in the floor with no way to pull himself out, and no one around to help him. He listened as the voice in his head asked him another question, and not realizing that the door to the dining hall had been pushed open ever so slightly, he launched into another monologue.

"Huh? You wanna know how I'm gonna KO that idiot, Fawful? GAHAHAHA! Oh, I've got a few solid ideas, that's for sure! My current plan is to get up on the Fawful Theater stage again, but this time, I battle Fawful! And he'll throw stuff at me, but I'll give a manly laugh and inhale everything to finish him off! Maybe he'll try to escape on his flying thingie, but no dice! I'll summon my Paratroopa squadron, and they'll blast him out of the sky as he flees! That reminds me, the guy does use a lot of weird machines… But I'll just use my Bob-ombs, and BOOM! Oops! All blowed up! GAHAHAHAHAHA! But first… I do have to escape from here. That's a problem."

In the hallway, Fawful suppressed a giggle as he watched the looks of despair that crossed the faces of the latest batch of Koopa Troop members he had caught. They were an odd bunch – a Goomba in PJs, a Paratroopa wearing a bucket and a Shy Guy with a backpack full of junk – but a minion was a minion. Leading them away from the sorry sight in the dining room, he finally let out his laugh. "Rururururu! Now you are seeing that Fawful is the only leader of goodness? And by goodness, I am meaning badness. But not badness like Bowser has the badness – the head of Bowser is having a bad time, but the head of Fawful is a maniacal mind of win!"

The threesome shared a dejected glance. They had followed Bowser to the castle in hopes that he had freed it from Fawful's grasps, but there he was – too fat to move, stuck in the floor, and worst of all, raving like a mad man at the open air. According to Fawful, he had been having full conversations before; they hadn't believed him then, but now that they saw it with their own eyes, they couldn't deny it any more. There was no way Bowser could stop the Bean. They had their doubts before – a lot of troop members had private reservations about their calamitous king, and like the threesome, all it took was a bigger baddie to come along and give them an excuse to abandon ship.

They looked at the grinning Bean and the hulking pig at his side, and as one, they bowed and changed allegiances. "We are at your command, Lord Fawful."

"Rurururu! This has pleasingness! Like the delicious fish and chips of a pub much quested for, one that is not like the most places with their fish is being frozen and salty in a way of badness. No, this is having the batter of fresh fluff and fish of fishiness, with a twist of lemon zest and fries of gold. But do not have the eating of golden fries of actuality: what a wasting of gold."

The trio looked at each other sideways. Bowser might be chatting up an empty room, but it was starting to feel a bit like they had simply gone from the frying pan to the fire. Still, Fawful had the castle and he wasn't immobilized, so they were fine taking their chances with the fire. It would probably leave them in a better state than if they stuck with Bowser's flames.

Telling them to scout around the Mushroom Kingdom wilderness for more potential recruits, Fawful then gestured to Midbus and the two wandered away towards the basement. "Why not just hypnotize them like others?" inquired Midbus.

"Hypnotism is making them fight not as well," explained Fawful. "It is better to have the loyal minions of free will. They have the thought and the battle strategy. The hypnosis is good for citizens of construction and worshipping Fawful lifestyles, but the traitor troops have betterness for the fighting and scouting needs of Fawful."

"I understand. You want them to be like Midbus."

"Righting! Midbus is being the best minion, and all minions must have the desire to be like the one that is Midbus. And seeing the not-sanity of their Not-King-Anymore Bowser is having usefulness for the showing of why betrayal is the snack food of best choice."

"MUH MUH MUH! But better show is soon. Then Bowser will be not needed at all."

"Rururu! That is having truth! But I am done more research, and as I had the earlier suspicion, we are needing Bowser for a time that is being the one last."

"It is good he is here."

"Yes, we will not have to be chasing him. All we are doing is retrieving a machine of Fawfulized genius. He will not be standing on a chance."

"He is not even standing."

"Trueness!" Fawful's excitement bubbled over. "Rururu, tomorrow is the day of darkness for the kingdom of mushrooms! Rururururuuu!"

"MUH MUH MUH!"


	25. Lattice of Lies

Chapter 25: Lattice of Lies

"There they are! Up there! Princess Peach is trapped inside! Save her!"

Starlow and the Bros. looked up at the ball of Kretins. It shook around a bit, but Starlow was forcing it to stay put, letting Bowser's subconscious maintain the overall illusion for her while she focused on the blobs that held Peach captive.

With a chorus of "Ya hoo!" and "Oh yeah!" the Mario Bros. jumped up to the platform.

"Listen, guys… Be careful! I don't think hammering or jumping will shake them off… We have to think of some other way to get rid of them…" cautioned Starlow as they approached the Kretins. She could hold the energy monsters steady, but the Bros. would need to provide the last little burst of energy.

And as she suspected, they knew what to do, and used a spin jump to rip through the ball of enemies, sending them flying off in all directions and freeing Peach, who promptly fell to the ground.

"Peach!" called Mario, kneeling beside the princess, his face riddled with concern.

Fortunately the effects of being ensnared by Bowser's energy wore off quickly and she opened her eyes, pushing herself up and looking over at the scattered Kretins. "What in the world…"

Unconcerned with the enemies, Mario and Luigi whooped with relief, and even Starlow smiled down at the scene. Peach looked around at her friends. "…Ah! …You all saved me! Thank you so much!"

Sensing a disturbance in the local energy field, Starlow turned around and gasped as the Kretins started flying back towards the group. "Mario! Luigi! THEY'RE COMING BACK!"

The Bros. warily watched as six Kretins hovered at the end of the platform, their eyes glaring menacingly and their forms becoming wreathed in light as electric shocks passed between them and transformed them. Mario, Luigi and Peach's eyes widened as the separate Kretins suddenly became one single, large, red lattice. It even had blobs forming arms and legs and began stepping towards the group.

"OK guys! You stop them! I'll guard the princess!" instructed Starlow, determined not to let Bowser's energy monsters get a hold on Peach again.

"Maybe-a one of us should guard the princess instead," suggested Luigi from the back of the group.

Starlow narrowed her eyes. "What? Luigi, YOU want to guard the princess?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded.

Starlow flew around behind Luigi, who turned to follow her movement. "You mean Mario and I should fight those guys?"

"Oh yeah."

"VERY FUNNY!" she snarled. Luigi was almost as aggravating as Bowser sometimes – maybe even moreso because she _expected_ the Koopa to be a jerk, but Luigi was _supposed_ to be a brave hero, not a spineless coward. If he keeps it up, he should exchange his green shirt for a yellow belly. How many boss fights had he tried to weasel out of so far? Three? Four? _Well, tough luck_, snorted Starlow to herself as she tackled the green plumber and sent him flying into the monstrous Kretin.

"Waa!" Luigi screamed as he flew through the air and bounced harmlessly off the Alpha Kretin. In response, it changed some of its Beta Kretin nodes from red to green and started firing energy blasts at the Bros. Hammering the danger out of the way, they retaliated and stomped on the nodes, with each Bro. attacking a Beta Kretin that matched their colour. Starlow was glad they figured it out so fast – Bowser's energy was somehow adapting to the Bros. energy, but thankfully, it was having difficulty guarding against both of the Marios' energy signatures at the same time.

After taking damage, the beta Kretins turned blue again, and once all six had been hurt, the connections between them dissolved and they tumbled to the ground. But the fight was far from over and the one surviving Beta Kretin summoned five more companions. They then encircled the Mario Bros., shooting green lightning between them to try and zap the humans in their midst. The Bros. knew they had to take out the leader, and while the Kretins often shuffled themselves, the plumbers did indeed land some good shots before the blobs formed another Alpha Kretin.

Rather than the pentagon shape, this time the Alpha Kretin took the pattern of an inverted triangle, but it made no difference to the Bros. as they went to work, once again breaking it apart and whaling on the leader Beta Kretin until it finally exploded in a blast of light.

"Mario! Luigi! Thank you! I knew you'd save me," smiled Peach as the Bros. cheered victoriously.

"Listen, Princess Peach…" began Starlow, hating to break up the celebration so soon. "Bowser inhaled everyone. They're all inside his body…"

"Well, in that case, we must find a way for all of us to escape," she replied.

Starlow had been worried someone would bring that up sooner or later.

"But-a how? Toadbert's explored all-a over and he says he couldn't find a way to any of Bowser's-a… exits," said Luigi.

"Hmm? You think we might not be able to get back outside?" frowned Peach.

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Well… What to do…" mused the princess.

"Gosh… Up to now, all I was thinking about was finding Princess Peach… But now we really need to find a way out of here…" bluffed Starlow, before trying to dodge the subject. "Hey, look! There's another room up ahead." She floated to the far side of the room to a passage leading further into the area. "Maybe just through here! It could be the exit…" It wasn't – Bowser hadn't needed to turn anything beyond the Kretin into a maze, and Starlow knew what she had designed for the next room, but she supposed the Bros. would need a new quest to keep their minds occupied. She floated back over to the three humans. "Tell you what… I'll guard Princess Peach here. You two go ahead and see if there's an exit, OK?" It may not be a maze beyond the threshold, but Starlow wasn't convinced that Bowser's energy was completely done trying to get Peach. Defeating the Kretin had certainly taken a chunk out of him, but Fawful's food energy would fix that soon enough, and Bowser was nothing if not frustratingly tenacious when it came to princess-napping.

Peach eyed Starlow, her face unreadable, but to the Star Sprite's relief, she didn't insist on pressing ahead with the Bros. "Mario, Luigi, good luck. Starlow and I will debate what to do next."

"Oh yeah!"

"Okay!"

Pretending like she didn't know about the fake Emoglobin she had initially created for Peach, Starlow started to explain the situation, but as soon as the Bros. were out of earshot, the princess cut her off. "So, what's the _real_ story?"

"What do you mean?" asked Starlow innocently, but Peach wasn't fooled.

"Mario and Luigi have seen a lot of things in their travels – and they're so sweet. They'll believe anything a Star tells them, and so would the Toads, but I know for a fact that biology does not work like this," said Peach, sweeping her arm over the chamber as she stared Starlow down. "So where are we _really_? What's going on?"

Starlow faltered. She had a whole speech prepared in case someone questioned the wacky biology or found any holes in her story, but now that she was faced with a skeptic – and in the form of Princess Peach, no less – she found herself forgetting all her lines. She was just getting so tired of lying to everyone: it wasn't a fun feeling, even if she knew it was ultimately the right thing to do. But Peach had seen through the deception, and she wasn't going crazy. As long as she didn't try to escape the illusion, she _should_ be fine, and if Starlow was straight with her, hopefully she'd know to cooperate – rather than potentially striking out on her own to try and find her own truth.

The Star Sprite sighed. "It's partly true. We _are_ inside Bowser, but we're not in his guts – we're in his hammerspace. But I knew no one could handle existing like that, so I created an illusion for everyone's minds to take shelter in."

Peach frowned. "I've been in hammerspace before – in his clown car. It was weird – but it wasn't _that_ bad."

Starlow shook her head. "This is WAY different than that sort of artificial hammerspace hold. Bowser is a living thing – everything that enters his hammerspace becomes part of him in a way, and it's not meant to be used on other living things. Normally, it _can't_, but Fawful fed Bowser a bad mushroom that destroyed that barrier. When he sucked us in, everyone's energy destabilized – we were almost torn apart, but with some help from some other Stars, I was able to stabilize things. Then I separated Mario and Luigi's souls and created this illusion for their minds: the true nature of our existence inside Bowser would drive everyone insane. The only reason I can even function is because I'm an energy being to start with."

Peach nodded. "It sounds like a very dire situation indeed – we're lucky you were there. Are the Toads okay too?"

"Another Star pulled them all out of Bowser's mire a while ago – you were the only one he left, for some reason, and I didn't have enough energy to separate your energy from Bowser's energy myself until recently."

"I see…" said Peach. "Well, I'm very grateful: we all owe you our lives. But… Why lie about it?"

Starlow looked away. "Well, I… I just thought it'd be easier. I mean, this way they have something to do – they all do. The Toads are exploring or running shops, Mario and Luigi have been looking for you. The alternative is just having them sit around and wait for Bowser to blunder into the next pickle, and then let him leech out their energy to get out of the jam, and-"

"Wait, what?"

Starlow took a sharp breath. She hadn't meant to tell Peach _quite_ that much, but she had been holding it all in for so long, now that she had started, she couldn't help but spill _all_ the beans. "Bowser's trying to stop Fawful, but like I said before, the mushroom really messed him up. I've stabilized his energy as best I can, but he still needs power-ups from the Mario Bros. all the time. Actually, he often needs so much extra juice, it makes me wonder how he managed _before_ I came along."

"Does _Bowser_ know what's going on?" asked Peach.

Starlow's smirk morphed into a snort. "Definitely not! He'd flip if he knew he was getting help from the Mario Bros. All he knows is that there's someone inside him helping him out – and I was careful about that too: I gave him a fake name just in case he heard my real one back at the castle."

"So he doesn't know we're inside him?"

"Nope – he was half out of his mind when he arrived back at your castle: he can't remember anything between when he ate the mushroom and when we woke him up at Cavi Cape."

"Hmmm," Peach stared off into the distance for a moment, mulling things over. "I can understand why you did what you did. I'm sure the Toads would panic – or worse – if they learned their energies were somehow connected to Bowser's. Part of me wants to tell Mario and Luigi the truth, but I wonder… I'm sure they'd understand why you did it too, but would they be so willing to continue to provide Bowser with their power? It's not like them to sit around – they might try to escape on their own."

"That's exactly it!" said Starlow, relieved that Peach saw it her way. "I don't _want_ to lie to them, but I really don't see another way…"

"Still, maybe we could try gauging how they'd react. Maybe ease them into it: we at least owe it to them to check to see if they might accept simply lying dormant while Bowser does the leg work…"

"I suppose…" said Starlow. "But how could we do that?"

Peach shrugged. "I'm sure we'll think of something. In the meantime, let's catch up to them before they get too far ahead. The least we can do is stop them from going on a wild Ostro chase in the meantime… I'm assuming there _is_ no way to get out of this, yes?"

Starlow shook her head sadly. "I'm hoping that one of my Star friends will show me how to free us all sooner or later. It'll take a lot of energy, and for some reason, they've been keeping a rather hands-off approach to the whole thing – sticking me with all the hard work most of the time…" She scowled at the thought, but forced an optimistic smile on her face once more. "But maybe they're just researching a solution for us. I know they won't let us stay like this forever."

Peach returned the smile as she started off towards the passage. "I'm sure you're right."

**-xxxxx-**

Fortunately, Mario and Luigi hadn't gone far, and the girls caught up to them in no time. "Well, that was a short debate," said Peach. "We decided it would be prudent just to explore this area."

"So, did you look around? See an exit anywhere?" asked Starlow, trying to make small talk.

Peach answered for them, peering into the depth of the chamber. "Nothing but dead ends here… Not an exit to be seen."

"Oh… Well, again we play the waiting game for some bodily change…" said Starlow, but catching the knowing look Peach was now shooting her, she knew one thing they'd be doing in the meantime, and prepared herself for what had the potential to be a rather difficult conversation with the Bros.


	26. Peach Extract

Chapter 26: Peach Extract

After the Nutsoglobins stopped talking, Bowser rested for a bit: it _was_ past midnight, and he had a busy day, after all. But a weird twinge in his energy brought him back to full wakefulness, and he went back to trying to heave himself out of the ground. "NNNGRRRFF! Heff heff haah. Some king I am…" he muttered. "Stuck in my own floor… Struggling like a baby…" Suddenly he felt another twinge – a stronger one. "Hey! What's that?" he wondered aloud. "I'm all tickly! Feels weird…"

It was then that he noticed the sounds filtering up through the cracks around his hole: the wavering screech of some sort of radiation weapon, and two familiar voices.

"I HAVE CHORTLES! First, your beating of Midbus! And then, the chubbening with the special dishes of tastiness! All in my master planning!"

"That voice… Fawful!" snarled Bowser.

"Muh muh muh! He is very round. I am amused!" grunted Midbus, standing with his master in the basement, looking up at Bowser's rotund rear poking out of the ceiling as Fawful blasted it with a ray gun.

"YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!" roared Bowser. "What're you doing down there?"

"Oh, I have such chortles! There was a slight changing to my perfect plan!" Although to be fair, Fawful had a feeling he'd have to make this change, so in a way, things were still going his way.

"Plan?!"

"Yes, Fawful said 'plan'. A plan of Bowser inhaling Peach, sending the Mushroom Kingdom into the hands of Fawful! But now for the changing. I am needing the princess!"

"What?! The princess?! I inhaled her too?!" Bowser couldn't believe it. It must have happened during that big black period in his memory, after he ate the Vacuum Shroom. He vaguely recalled Fawful telling him he had been to Peach's Castle, and there had been some mention of a pig, or something, but having sucked up Peach herself? Bowser didn't think it should've been possible, although he supposed he _had_ been making a habit of swallowing enemies ever since Broque let him control the power with his special block.

But if he sucked her down like all those enemies… Bowser's eyes widened in horror as Fawful continued prattling on down below.

"Fawful tells you yes. But now I am needing her right this instant!"

"Are you insane?!" cried Bowser, his mind racing as he thought of what could have happened to Peach. Was Peach destroyed completely like all those enemies? Did Chippy get her? Save her? Was Chippy herself like a splintered-off fragment of Peach's energy? But if Fawful wanted Peach back, that meant she hadn't been destroyed, right? She was still intact, somehow, right? Bowser had to find out for sure, and called down to Fawful again. "You mean she is INSIDE MY BODY?!"

But Fawful didn't answer Bowser's question, leaving the panicking king hanging in more ways than one. "Come out for the playing! Come to Fawful!" he called, pausing to increase the power of the rays and then blasted Bowser's dangling lower body anew.

"GWAAAAACK!" bellowed Bowser as his energy began to destabilize. Fawful grinned, confident that the energy he had already dosed the Koopa with would be sufficient to let him rip Peach free of her host. Trapping Bowser was a helpful side-effect of the food: it made it easier to come and retrieve the princess, but the retrieval itself was the main reason Fawful had the Boos stuff the Dragon-Koopa. If he had lost, they would have force fed his semi-conscious hulk just the same as when he won and they had to deal with his fully awake yet exhausted and easily manipulated mind. Yes, Fawful did indeed have _everything_ plotted out this time: the stakes were too high to risk something unforeseen happening.

**-xxxxx-**

Listening to the exchange from inside Bowser, Starlow frowned. "…Now he needs the princess? What could that mean?"

"…I think I may know, Fawful may be looking for the Dark Star…"

"Dark Star?" repeated Starlow, struggling to keep her voice neutral. She knew full well what the Dark Star was, but she let Peach explain it – for the Marios' sake.

Peach closed her eyes and folded her hands before her heart as she recounted one of the grimmest stories of her land. "Long, long ago, a star sleeping deep below the Mushroom Kingdom was dug up… It was not benevolent. It was a frightful star that hid a great evil… The Dark Star. It was said that if an evil entity found the Dark Star, the world would plunge into darkness… That evil-hearted entity would rule the world… Fearing that, the Star Sprites that watch over us sacrificed much over many years… They sealed the Dark Star deep under the earth in Toad Town…"

"Aha! No wonder those guys are trying to find the Dark Star! …But why would they need you, Princess Peach?" Starlow really _did_ need an answer to that question.

"No one can break the seal on the Dark Star sleeping beneath Toad Town…" She then looked up at the group, her eyes flashing. "Except me!"

Mario and Luigi were clearly horrified, but as Bowser's pained voice rang out with an "OWOWOWOWOW!" the room began to shake, bringing their attention back to the more immediate threat.

"Whoa! That was that loud noise? It came from the room next door!" Starlow was proud of her ability to keep the instability out of the illusion in so far, but whatever Fawful was doing, she was worried she wouldn't be able to fight it off for much longer.

"It-a could be dangerous," said Mario, as Luigi continued freaking out behind him. "We should make-a sure another monster isn't coming to try and-a capture Peach."

Starlow had actually hoped the Bros. wouldn't insist on going forward, but as she forced the anomaly back out of the illusion, she supposed it would be worth it – she needed another private talk with Peach, anyway. "Got it! You guys check it out! I'll guard the princess!"

"Luigi!" called Mario.

The green plumber swallowed hard, and after looking back and forth between Peach and Mario, he resigned himself to the fact that Starlow wouldn't let him hang back and help guard Peach even if he tried, and he followed Mario up to the passageway out of the area with a cry of "Whoa ho!"

Starlow turned to Peach, keeping her voice low so the departing brothers wouldn't overhear her. "Why do you think they're after the Dark Star? It's been secure for over a thousand years."

"It's hard to explain… After Bowser sucked us up, and before you got me out of his energy… I had a dream, I think. Or a vision. A voice spoke to me. He said someone was going to try and reawaken the Dark Star, and that I had to be prepared."

"A voice?" Starlow wished she could write it off, but she had a sneaking suspicion about who might have been talking to Peach through Bowser's ether. "Was it kinda nasally? But on the low side, and with a bit of a lilt?"

Peach nodded. "I think so… do you know him?"

"He's the Star Sage I told you about before – the one who helped free the Toads…" _but left Peach unresolved_. Starlow felt like the bottom of her belly had just dropped away. She had wondered why Chakron left Peach behind – maybe he had done it on purpose because he knew Fawful would need to pull her out. It was hard enough for Starlow to free the princess, and she was an energy being – maybe Fawful _wouldn't_ have been able to get her out. It was a disgusting thought, but maybe Peach had been _safe_ in the arms of Bowser's twisted, possessive soul, and now Starlow had exposed her – made her ripe for the picking.

But if he knew that the Dark Star might be involved, why hadn't he _said_ anything to Starlow? Why hadn't Wisdurm said anything? She was just barely managing the Fawful situation, much less the second coming of the _Dark Star_. It had taken the three most powerful Star Sages almost all their might to subdue it all those centuries ago. Some said they were damaged and couldn't return to the Star World after that – others said they simply used up all their powers and faded away. Starlow didn't want to die, but it wouldn't matter anyway because she didn't have nearly enough power or skills to take on the Dark Star in the first place. Their only hope was to stop Fawful from freeing it, but why had Starlow been trusted with such a monumental task? She wasn't even a Sage, how could they demand so much of her, and without even telling her what was going on or how she could possibly stop it!?

"Starlow!"

"Wha-?"

"You zoned out for a second there," said Peach. Her voice was concerned, but her eyes were boring into Starlow. "I said, we need to regroup with Mario and Luigi."

"Hmm, oh, yes – we might need their help to fend off Fawful's energy weapon. It's worming deep into Bowser's energy already – I can feel it."

"Then there's no time to lose!" said Peach, running towards the platforms and jumping up towards the passage, with a still-distracted Starlow floating close behind.

**-xxxxx-**

To Starlow's horror, the energy disturbance was already forcing its way back into her illusion, with Mario and Luigi standing directly under its pulsating glow.

"What's that light?" she asked, playing dumb as she and Peach hurried up to the Bros.

"Sorry for following you. We were just too worried," explained Peach, when Mario and Luigi shot her (rightfully) concerned frowns.

Before anyone could say anything more, the energy started moving down from the ceiling, quickly taking the form of a yellow hand and waving over the group. Starlow furiously tried to force it back, while Mario and Luigi tensed their legs, ready to spring as soon as it made its move. But they were too slow, and in a flash it had Peach surrounded.

Everyone screamed as the princess was ripped from their midst, none louder than Starlow's anguished cry as her illusions were shredded and the one person she should have been protecting above all others was lost to the void in the middle of Bowser's maelstrom of energy. "OH NO! PEACH!"

Bowser was screaming too, feeling as if someone was dragging their claws through his innards and turning the energy beneath his shell into a broiling pool of white hot pain. "YURRRRRRGH!" his final cry came out more like a gurgle as the invading energy withdrew with a violent jolt. If felt like it had yanked a piece of Bowser's heart out with it.

Fawful and Midbus watched as Bowser's energy flashed and began pouring out from under the lip of his shell, spilling down his haunches and forming itself into a glowing ball. It floated around in the air for a moment and once it had taken all it needed from the dying Dragon-Koopa, it glided down to the wielder of the ray gun that had pulled the energy from its host. In another flash, the power reformed as Princess Peach and landed squarely on Fawful.

"Gah... Hah... Haaah…" gasped Bowser, fighting off the pain and struggling to keep his mind focused as Fawful called up to him once more.

"Such ruh-rounded chubbening on your buh-body, Bowser! Buh-but Fawful gave you the Puh-Princess Peach diet!" Hunched under the weight of the comatose princess, Fawful struggled to sound menacing. _Huh-heavy…_ he thought to himself – you wouldn't know it from looking at Peach. Maybe it was her poufy dress?

"WHAAAAAT!" roared Bowser. Part of him was relieved that Peach was intact, but part of him was furious about who's hands she was in now. "This guy, I swear! She's mine! Put her back!" Of course, Bowser didn't _really_ want her put _back_, but he was too feverish to pay much attention to his choice of words as he desperately tried to free himself and go save his beloved Peach. "GRAARGH!" he roared in hopeless frustration, too angry to care that he was hemorrhaging energy out of his shell even as he pushed his weakening body to the brink. He didn't feel pain anymore, only rage.

But Fawful knew Bowser was not doing well, and with Peach safely in his grasp, he had no more need of the Koopa King, so that suited him just fine. Even with the last of the food energy to burn through, the Bean knew that the Dragon-Koopa should run out of power in minutes at this rate. Of course, Bowser had proven quite hardy despite what the Vacuum Shroom should have done to him, and Fawful wasn't going to take any chances this time. He shot Midbus a look, and the pig obediently fetched the last piece of the plan as Fawful cackled triumphantly – or, cackled as best he could with the princess crushing down on him. "And nuh-now! All preparations have cuh-completion! At the long last, we buh-begin the fuh-furious Age of Fawful!"

Midbus returned, pushing the giant treadmill into place directly under the wriggling Koopa. "Buh-Bowser! You are needing to huh-hit the gym!" jeered Fawful. Bowser should be slimming down enough to fall through the hole at any moment, and then the treadmill would make him run ever faster. He'd burn through the rest of the energy in no time flat, thinking all he was burning was fat, and not the very fuel he needed to live. With any luck, there'd even be an external exothermic reaction as a result of the added instability – and if Bowser was somehow still staggering around at that point, Fawful had one more surprise ready to ensure that the Dragon-Koopa would be wiped off the face of the Mushroom World, taking the Mario Bros. with him – assuming he hadn't already absorbed their energies, which _would_ help explain how he managed to stay alive and active so far.

But either way, he wouldn't be lasting much longer now, and Fawful couldn't wait to see the fireworks. Of course, first he had to get out of the way, which was easier said than done with Peach on top of him. Slowly walking past the treadmill, Fawful huffed and puffed under the weight. "Huh-heavy… Muh-Midbus! Help!"

Midbus's eyes widened as Fawful neared him. _He_ didn't want to carry the princess – she smelled like Dragon-Koopa. Before Fawful could dump his load on the pig, Midbus turned and hurried away.

"Midbus! Come!" shouted Fawful, slowly chasing after him. "MIDBUS!"

No sooner had Fawful turned the corner when Bowser came plummeting out of the ceiling. His liquid energy spattered the treadmill, and as soon as he had pushed himself to his feet, Fawful's machine had taken control and forced him to start moving. "Huh?!" Bowser's head was getting fuzzy and he didn't immediately register what was happening as he wheezed along on the treadmill. "Huff… Whuff… What in the- Legs running by themselves!" he eventually shouted in alarm as the device forced him to go faster and faster. "Slow down!" he cried.

And he was right to be concerned. Inside him, Starlow had managed to get a handle on the energy again. She told Mario and Luigi the moment of instability in her illusion had been due to the energy ball that had kidnapped Peach. It was _partly_ true – Fawful's beam gun _was_ the reason for Bowser's latest energy crisis, but Starlow didn't go so far as to tell the Mario Bros. the details about what was happening. Now wasn't the time to tell them they weren't actually in Bowser's body, but in an illusion she had built inside his hammerspace – inside his soul itself. The very soul that was in very real danger of draining itself dry as energy poured out of Bowser's shell.

Acting fast, Starlow sent the Bros. back to Toad Square to let them and the Toads mind their own illusionary sanctuary while she tackled the danger. Fawful had drawn on a lot of the food energy to retrieve Peach – Starlow thought she had used his weapon against him when she used the food to start the process, but clearly she had simply done some of the work for him.

But there'd be time enough to beat herself up about that once Bowser was out of danger, and Starlow called on the rest of the food power to replenish Bowser's stores and heal the leaks. She had even been making some progress by the time he plopped out of the ceiling, but now she was fighting the exertion from the treadmill for the food energy.

"Too faaaaaaast!" roared Bowser and Starlow couldn't agree more. But she wasn't going down without a fight.

"Noo- WHOOAA!" cried Bowser as the energy coating his scales caught fire. "Really feeling the burn! Smelling the burn too! Wait… Is this ME?! Am I on FIRE?!"

_You bet your tail you are_, grinned Starlow, forcing all the food energy to flood Bowser's body at once. The instability rippled out into the energy that had already escaped Bowser, but while the stuff on the outside had nothing to control it and destabilized completely into the chaotic destruction of flames, Starlow was directing the power within Bowser. She was resetting him – overwhelming the disorder with a single wave of power. It took every ounce of concentration and strength in her own essence, but it was working – and Bowser felt it too.

"Whoa! My chub layer! It's all burning up!" observed Bowser, his health and strength returning all at once. "I'm a MACHINE! BWAHAHAHAHA! Best workout ever!" His power restored, he easily broke off the hold Fawful's treadmill had on him and hopped off.

With a gasp, Starlow also broke off her link with his power. It would take her a while before she could recover from _that_, and for once, she hoped Bowser would manage to stay out of trouble long enough to give her some decent rest.

Still aflame, Bowser looked around. He couldn't actually remember what was below the dining room. "Hey, now that I think about it, what room is this?" He had a feeling it was storage. "What's this thing say…" he muttered as he walked over to a sign next to some crates. The lighting wasn't very good, but using his own flaming figure as illumination, he squinted and read the sign aloud. "'BOB-OMB STORAGE DEPOT. OPEN FLAMES FORBIDDEN! HIGH EXPLOSIVE DANGER!' …Crud."

And it got worse, as Bowser realized he had already lit one of the bombs, which was now marching straight for the crates. "GAAAAH! WAIT! WAIT!" he bellowed. Now that he knew what to look for in the gloom , he saw that all the crates were filled with Bob-ombs, their little round carapaces practically overflowing out the tops. "WAAAIIIIIIIIIIT!" he screamed in vain as the Bob-omb leapt right into the middle of the stores, just as the sparks reached the base of its fuse.


	27. No Free Rides

Chapter 27: No Free Rides  


Bowser was blown clear out of his castle and sailed across the early morning sky. The unstable energy that hadn't already burned off was making him unnaturally buoyant and when he finally fell back down to earth, it was all the way back at Cavi Cape. As the sun broke over the horizon, Bowser plummeted straight through the hole next to the first Chakroad he had discovered and landed with a resounding thud in the cavern below.

The whole ordeal had upset Starlow's control of Bowser's already-finicky energy, and as the Dragon-Koopa came too, she struggled to keep it together, glad he was resilient enough to get back up without the need of her and the Mario Bros. for a change.

Bowser shook his head, but even once the cave had stopped spinning, he didn't recognize it at all. _Where…is this?_ He wondered, looking around. He looked up at the hole he had fallen though: dawn was breaking – he supposed he had been stuck in his castle floor for longer than he had thought. Fortunately, there was another one of Broque's shop blocks where Bowser had landed, and to Bowser's pleased surprise, the merchant was already up and about, and was more than happy to teleport over a breakfast of hot wings for the Koopa King. Bowser even tried one of the negative-ion treatments, since he still felt a bit funny, although whether it was from the fall, the fat or fire, he wasn't sure. Fortunately, the treatment _did_ help, having given Starlow a welcome boost of stable energy to finally get Bowser's power to settle down, and she wondered if perhaps the 'ion' treatment was in fact another temporarily borrowed power courtesy of Broque's old Star Sage comrades.

After signing off with the block man, Bowser started wandering the tunnels, knowing there was no way he could climb up to the hole in the ceiling and get out the way he had come in. After falling down a shaft into a large chamber littered with construction material and even a Warp Pipe, Bowser discovered another Chakroad.

"_Do you aspire to travel?_" asked the voice when Bowser stepped into the swirling vortex.

"Yeah, take me back to my castle," demanded Bowser.

"_Shall I enlighten you once more? You can only return to Chakroads your mind has bonded with._"

"Hey, my mind is bonded with my castle itself more than it could with any puny Chakroad. I can picture it down to the last Fawfulized brick! And I want to go there NOW!"

"_Without a Chakroad, no amount of mind power will move the cosmos. You will never be enlightened by demanding the universe bends to your will: you must learn to work with the waves of the ether._"

Bowser rolled his eyes. "Blah blah blah, ENOUGH! Fine, I don't need your Chakroads – I'll find my own way back and we'll see who's the unenlightened one!" With that, the Koopa King turned and stomped away.

**-xxxxx-**

While Bowser argued with him, Chakron also took the time to catch up with Starlow. _"I'm impressed. I rarely give praise to the unenlightened, but that latest energy fix was very well done."_

_It's about time I get some credit! Do you know what I've been through these past 24 hours?!_

"_Yes. I have watched you…"_

_Then you know Fawful is after the Dark Star too, right? I bet you knew it all along, didn't you? Why isn't anyone telling me anything?_

"_That'd make it too easy. You don't learn if you're told all the answers."_

_LEARN?! This is not a time to learn! People are in danger – the WORLD is in danger! It's a miracle we're still alive in here!_

"_Yes, you ARE fortunate to be hosted by a creature as durable as our Dragon-Koopa friend. Still, you've probably shaved a good decade off his lifespan with all the energy strain and loss, even WITH the boosts from the giant magical food…"_

_Who cares? That's just ten less years we'll have to put up with his tyranny._

Chakron's sigh was audible even over the mental connection._ "Still very unenlightened… And now I go."_

_WAIT! What about the Dark Star! I need to know what to do next! How can you guys leave me all alone?! Chakron, please!_ But Bowser had disconnected from the Chakroad, and Starlow's link was dead too – yet still she plaintively called out into the darkness. _Chakron!? Come back! Wisdurm!? Anyone?! Someone talk to me! I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do… _If she had a physical form at that moment, Starlow knew she would have been fighting off tears as she whimpered to herself. All her bravado about how well she had kept everyone alive was gone, replaced by the swelling, screaming fear of the Dark Star. Nothing she had done would matter if it was awakened. But it seemed like she was the only one who cared.


	28. Drilling a Path to Tomorrow

Chapter 28: Drilling a Path to Tomorrow

Bowser wandered about the tunnels for a bit, carelessly blowing up bombs, smashing crates, and battling giant fire-bellied Choombas and the tiny Coalbits that scurried around them. Both Bowser and the Choombas inhaled the little critters, although Bowser never noticed an increase in his firepowers, unlike his massive Goomba opponents. That was the main problem with Choombas: they were strong, but they were uncontrollable, and would attack their fellow Koopa Troop members as well as their Mushroom Kingdom enemies. That's why Bowser only used them in the remote, under-construction tunnels, although he was regretting it now.

After a while, he finally came across some proper minions.

"C'mon, bro! We've made ZERO progress in forever!" admonished the Lead Monty Mole as Bowser appeared in the entrance to the chamber behind him, unnoticed. "Beef up that drill power again, will ya?"

"I'm maxing it out right now, broski!" replied the mole driving the massive yellow drill futilely trying to burrow into the wall to Bowser's right.

"Keep at it, broham! Gotta get it done!" shouted one of the three moles sitting around behind the drill.

"We're a force of nature handpicked by Bowser! Bros do NOT get defeated by some stupid dirt wall!"

"Hey! What's going on?!" demanded Bowser.

The Lead Mole swiveled around in his hole and looked up at the Koopa King in shock. "Buh-Bowser?!" He turned and called to the others. "Buh-bros! Take five!"

The three moles all turned and gasped when they saw Bowser, quickly burrowing over as he walked into the chamber. The mole in the drill backed up behind the line of his comrades and shut the machine off, but didn't bother getting out to join them in the dirt.

"Yeah, so our secret tunnel mission is going super smooth!" reported the Lead.

"Secret tunnel?! First I heard of it!" punned Bowser, smirking to himself: not even exhaustion could dull his razor wit.

The moles, however, didn't realize he was joking. The one on the end of the line opposite his boss raised an eyebrow. "Remember, bro-I mean Bowser? You wanted an escape tunnel for kidnapping Peach?"

"The big tunnel project… You named it Project K!" elaborated the mole next to him. "And you handed it off to us, the Monty Bros., because we rule dirt!"

Bowser looked away and crossed his arms. "Hmm, I guess I remember something like that." Part of him wanted to berate them for thinking he could have forgotten about Project K, but he had a bigger bone to pick with them and skipped right to it. "But you guys don't rule squat! I was just watching you chumps, and you're getting nowhere! You're total slackers!"

The Lead quailed, "I-I-I… Look, sorry, brogurt! We're all lined up to connect to Toad Town if we go straight through here, but…"

"Broyo, this dirt is crazy hard! It's a dead end, I kid you not!" exclaimed the mole next to the Lead.

"Wait, we can connect to Toad Town through here?!" asked Bowser, ignoring the sob story part of the moles' tale.

"Yeah, broham! Straight through there!" said the next mole in line.

"Nice! Then get on it! Make with the digging!" grinned the Koopa King.

"But, bro, the dirt's so hard…" reminded the mole next to the Lead.

"Oh, WAAH! Some minions you are!" snorted Bowser. They were as bad as the quirky trio from Boggly Woods, and he didn't have time to mess around. "Fine, I'll do it myself!"

The four Monty Moles watched as Bowser stormed up to the drill and ordered the driver to resume his work.

"You, uh… You sure about this, bro?" asked the mole that had complained about the dirt as Bowser started pushing against the back of the drill.

"HRRRRNNGH!" was all the response he got as the dirt still refused to give way to the drill.

"Going the brute force route again, I see…" observed Starlow wearily, forcing herself out of her moment of weakness and doubt, and conjuring up a new area for the Bros., using a motif Toadbert had already mapped for her to create a chamber that looked like it was located beside Bowser's hips. Leading Mario and Luigi there, she pointed out the two trampoline-like pads she had created for them. "Let's stimulate Bowser's muscles to fire him up!" Under her tutelage, the Bros. started jumping, Luigi flipping around and doing a hand-stand on his bro to give the landings extra weight, although as they went from one trampoline to the other, they flipped around through the air to give Luigi turns on the bottom.

Feeling the familiar rush of energy he had been waiting for, Bowser pushed with renewed force, and as the dirt before the drill finally started to crumble, the driver decided to give it his all too, and kicked his machine into high gear.

The other four moles watched as Bowser and the drill suddenly rocketed away through the wall.

"Bros." said the Lead Mole, drawing his comrades' attentions away from the new tunnel.

"What was that?" asked the mole next to him.

"He activated the drill battery," explained Lead. "Runs for 1 minute 30 seconds. If it runs out, he's gotta head back and get a new one…"

"They're pricey too, brodeo – 50 coins a pop!" winced the third mole in the lineup.

All three lapsed into silence for a moment, but the Lead Mole sighed: it was out of their hands now, either way. "Looks like Bowser's taking care of business for us. Well… As long as he makes it to Toad Town within 1 minute 30 seconds!"

The others nodded and turned back to the tunnel, listening to the distant sound of excavation.

Fortunately, with Mario and Luigi's help, Bowser and the drill made it through to Toad Town in record time, bursting into the tunnels below the little city with seconds to spare.

"Bwahahahahahahaha! Got a little carried away!" cackled Bowser as the mole driver smashed straight into the far wall of the chamber. For his part, the driver was just glad they made it through before the battery died, and hastily put the machine on its usual setting.

Unaware they had been racing against time in the first place, Bowser turned away from the drill and looked around the chamber. "So is this Toad Town?!" It certainly wasn't a part of the Mushroom capital that he had visited before. As the mole backed the drill back into the tunnel, Bowser peered up the stairwell to see if it led to the surface, but no daylight filtered down.

Suddenly a rumbling filled the air, and when Bowser looked back down the new tunnel he had just dug, to his chagrin, he saw that a mound of dirt had fallen and closed it back up. But at least _this_ dirt would be soft enough for the moles to dig back through without him, and even if the drill itself was in the rubble, it could get itself out.

So, unconcerned with the moles, Bowser turned and wandered down one of the Toad tunnels, entering a small chamber ringed with short towers topped by ominous orange globes – which promptly started flashing red as an alarm blared overhead.

Bowser spun around in confusion as an electronic voice boomed through the air. "NO TRESPASSING! NO TRESSPASSING! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! NO TRESPASSING! NO TRESPASSING! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!"

"Hey! Pipe down!" ordered Bowser.

"NO TRESPASSING! NO TRESPASSING! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! NO TRESPASSING! NO TRESPASSING! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!"

However, it didn't give Bowser a chance to leave, as the four globes all sent bolts of lightning coursing into the Dragon-Koopa's body.

"GIGGAGIGGAGOW!" he screamed disjointedly as the energy ripped through him, his eyes rolling back up into his head and his body landing in an unconscious heap on the floor as soon as the lightning abated.


	29. Break Free

Chapter 29: Break Free

Starlow was getting _sick_ of Bowser almost getting himself killed. But on the other hand, she was getting much better at handing the energy crises, and while Bowser was knocked out by his latest ordeal, she was able to redirect the energy quite handily. But this time, she wasn't using it for Bowser. No, she couldn't rely on him anymore – only two people stood a chance at stopping the Dark Star, and she couldn't let them stay trapped in the king of calamity anymore. She couldn't separate them physically from the Dragon-Koopa just yet, but she didn't need to: she just needed to make them energy beings like her. Temporarily, of course. And this time, Bowser would be the one getting leached off of, in order to maintain the Marios' forms while their spirits traipsed around the outside world.

Starlow had been pondering about how she could pull this off ever since her latest conversation with Chakron, having realized that she couldn't rely on her fellow Stars anymore either. And if you couldn't find energy spirits to help you, you make 'em – and that shock had been just the boost she needed to get the ball rolling. Storing the energy inside her own soul to get it attuned to the essence of an energy being, she created a new area in Bowser's body. She couldn't just poof Mario and Luigi out of the Koopa: they needed a linear story to guide them through the transformation.

Appearing to the Bros., she rolled her eyes for show. "What is it now?" She then called out to Bowser, although she knew no response would be forthcoming. "Hey! You OK?" She looked back to the Bros., feigning ignorance as always. "…I wonder what happened… We'd better walk around a bit and see what's what." She then led them straight to the new Pipe Yard area, only to sense Toadbert scurrying ahead of them and entering the chamber first. She just hoped he wouldn't try to leave Bowser's body: she only had enough energy for Mario and Luigi.

Fortunately, he didn't do anything besides talk to the fake Emoglobin that Starlow had planted in the area, and hopped with excitement when Mario and Luigi appeared shortly after his own arrival.

"Mario! By boogity!"

"Yah!" replied the red plumber, jumping in greeting before he and Luigi walked up to the grinning Toad.

"That last shock opened up deeper byways in Bowser's body! Check this out!" Toadbert swept his arm over the scene. "All the pipes Bowser inhaled piled up in this room!" he said. Starlow had been able to sense the echoes of the warp pipes distinctive enrgy signatures and figured Bowser had inhaled some at some point before coming to Mushroom Castle, and had used them as a template to help with her latest illusion. She then had the fake Emoglobin tell Toadbert her hypothesized backstory for the pipes.

"Are they-a still connected to the-a outside world?" asked Mario.

"That's right!" chirped Toadbert. In reality, the pipes Bowser had inhaled had probably been old and broken to start with, and even if they _had_ been functional, they wouldn't be after Bowser swallowed them, but Starlow wasn't going to let her friends know that. and smirked to herself while Toadbert continued on with her cover story. "These pipes should take us to the Mushroom Kingdom. If we use these, we can get out, by boogity!"

"Wow…" said Luigi, scarce believing their good fortune.

"Hurry! Get in this pipe!" instructed Toadbert, standing beside the purple pipe. All the other pipes were blocked off – Starlow would use them eventually, whenever she needed the Bros. to 'warp' to somewhere new, but for now, there was only one place they should be going as they hopped up onto the pipe and descended.

Real Warp Pipes worked by turning their users into energy and beaming them through the pipelines at high speeds, like water mains on steroids. Because the Mario Bros. were expecting the sensation of dematerializing and reforming at the other side, Starlow didn't have to worry about them suspecting anything funny was going on as she pulled them out of her illusion and found the nearest defunct Warp Pipe to ping off of. Starlow connected with the pipe in the same way Wisdurm had remotely connected with her, but she supposed she was being more like Chakron meddling with Bowser's energy as she used the link to mess around with the pipe. Even though it had been separated from its other end and no longer functioned as a warp, it still had latent magic allowing for energy conversion, and Starlow was now hijacking those properties, since she didn't have the know-how to simply project Mario and Luigi onto the outside world from scratch.

Even then, it took all her concentration to broadcast the energy patterns of herself, Mario and Luigi to the pipe, and it took all the excess energy she had been carrying for the pipe to be able to give form to their disembodied minds. Mario and Luigi, of course, were completely unaware of any of this, and as they hopped out of the pipe, they had no idea that while they were corporeal, they were nothing more than astral projections. But unlike _real_ ghosts, which were sustained by the energy that they hadn't had a chance to use up in their prematurely ended lives, the Mario Brothers' energies were being drawn from the reserve that Starlow had built up for them from Bowser's recent electric shock, the remnants of his past energy boosts and inhaled enemies, and even from Bowser himself. Mario and Luigi's consciousnesses may be walking about, controlling their spectral forms, but their true souls were still trapped in Bowser's hammerspace, and if he died, they would fade away too.

And there was no way Starlow was going to let Mario and Luigi know _that_ as they looked around the chamber, the relief over being out of Bowser evident on their faces. Starlow couldn't disappoint them now, although part of her _would_ have liked to see how Luigi reacted to being told he was essentially a ghost. Still, a moment of cruel fun wasn't worth having to explain their newest existence: it'd be even harder for them to swallow than being mere energy parasites. Now they were parasites having out-of-body experiences. Hell, more like out-of-body-out-of-body experiences, given how their existence in Bowser's body was still out of their bodies. Really, it made Starlow's eyes go crossed trying to fathom it, and she was the one who made it all possible.

Thinking it all over, she had to admit, it really _was_ quite impressive. Especially for a mere Star Sprite. Starlow knew she wasn't the first to manage feats like the ones she had been pulling off ever since the whole Bowser mess started – she had read many books about Sages doing those sorts of thing, and it was where she had gotten the ideas in the first place. Although she had obviously never expected to actually have to put that knowledge to use: she had just read about things like hammerspace hijacking, astral projections and ghost physics for fun. Souls and energies were interesting to her. And boy was that interest paying off now, although she'd have to wait until she got back to the Star World to brag about it.

"I think we may have finally got out of Bowser's body…" was all she said to the humans as she called forth her own projection and floated above the Mario Bros. "I wonder where we are? Somewhere underground…"

"I-a recognize this place. It's the-a tunnels under Toad Town," said Mario.

As he spoke, Luigi also made a noise of recognition: the Bros. had fixed many a leaky pipe down there over the years.

"Oh? These are the Toad Town Caves? Really? You think? OK, if you say so," said Starlow. It made sense: Bowser's Monty Moles had been headed for Toad Town, and he hadn't wandered far before he was knocked out. Eventually, she knew she'd probably have to send Mario and Luigi further afield, but this first time, she had stuck to the nearest Warp Pipe she could find. She had _hoped_ it would have been a surface pipe, but if the Bros. knew their way out of the tunnels, and she was sure they did, she supposed it worked out okay. Besides, there _was_ one advantage to coming out under the city, and she turned back to the Bros. "Wait, that reminds me! Peach's story! The Dark Star is beneath Toad Town!"

"I have chortles!"

_Speak of the devil_, gasped Starlow as she and the Bros. looked towards the wall through which Fawful's voice had floated. "You guys hear that? Fawful's nearby! Talk about a dilemma! Fawful has Peach… But he's also looking for the Dark Star! We have to find that Dark Star before Fawful!"

"Yeah!" chorused Mario and Luigi, getting ready to set off, pausing only to let Starlow remind them to use a map if they get lost, before she returned to their 'hammerspace' and let them continue on in peace. In reality, she was simply using her projection sparingly so as not to eat up more of the energy reserves than she had to. Their ghost forms wouldn't last indefinitely: sooner or later, she'd need to get their consciousnesses to return to Bowser and give her a chance to build up more energy for their next jaunt in the outside world. She didn't want to consider what would happen if they ran out of energy prematurely, before she could find a Warp Pipe conduit to reconnect their captive hearts and wandering minds. It was a dangerous game she was playing, but Starlow knew it was the only way they stood a chance at stopping Fawful in time.


	30. The Blue Shell Blues

Chapter 30: The Blue Shell Blues  


"…Bowser…right?" Starlow, Mario and Luigi circled around the charred and comatose Koopa King. After being stuck inside him for so long, it was actually pretty surreal to see him from the outside. "Wow, and we were just inside his body… Weird. I wonder what happened that made him faint…"

Starlow was playing dumb, as always, but she _wasn't_ expecting what happened next, when the security system flared into life once more. "NO TRESPASSING! NO TRESSPASSING! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! NO TRESPASSING! NO TRESPASSING! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!"

Starlow was shocked: she was sure the system would have let the Bros. through. They looked surprised too, but as the warning repeated, they came to their senses and all three of them scurried away just as the lightning rods discharged.

"GIGGAGIGGAGOW!"

Bowser's voice echoed after the retreating heroes as he was shocked awake, but it did not last long, and Starlow felt him lose consciousness once more as she gathered up the latest surge of energy. If she thought looking at Bowser was weird, this was full-out _Twilight Town Zone_ – being both inside him, minding the energies, and in the outside world, minding the Marios. At any rate, she couldn't split her attention for long, and as soon as she was sure Bowser was stable and dormant, she focused on the Mario Bros. once more. "Security system, huh… If we try to go through there, we'll get toasted like Bowser. We'd better go see if we can find a different route!"

Mario and Luigi weren't convinced. They had never actually tried coming down that wing of the caves, generally sticking to the main southern Toad Town Tunnel areas, and so, had never encountered any security measures before. Peach had never told them that there was anything dangerous stored down there, but now wasn't the time to dwell on why she had felt the need to keep secrets from her friends. Right now, the fastest way to Fawful and the Dark Star was through that chamber, and unlike Bowser, the Mario Bros. were fleet of foot. Exchanging a look, they both thought the same thing: they could run right through the electrodes before they'd have a chance to discharge, easy-peasy. However, they had barely taken two steps back towards the corridor when Starlow popped into view again.

"Seriously, it is NOT a good idea to go that way. Let's find another route," she insisted, scowling at the Bros. She had a feeling that they were aiming to outrun the electricity, or use Luigi's Thunderhand to counter it, or some other act of heroism, but she wasn't willing to risk it. Their ghost forms might be able to fight just like their parasite forms, but they were still just energy beings right now, and getting flooded with too much raw energy might cause major issues. Besides, Starlow didn't want Bowser getting zapped in the crossfire again: he may have weathered two shocks okay, but a third might not be so manageable, especially so soon after the last shock to his system. Not that she'd tell the Mario Bros. that she was concerned for _Bowser_, of course.

Instead, she just stared them down, and without speaking themselves, they relented. Toads were pretty bad at designing security systems, but there _was_ a chance that the system was rigged to go off sooner if the intruder tried to run through, or something like that. So with a shrug, they turned back the way they came, walking back up the stairs and towards the pipes that led to the town above. There was another tunnel branching off from the chamber, but the Bros. knew it led to a section beneath the castle moat, which had been flooded after Bowser's last castle abduction. No, their best chance was finding a back way down into the deeper section of the cave from the world above. But to their chagrin, the pipe they would have normally lead back to Toad Town was blocked off and temporarily out of service, probably due to the construction up above: the Toads were building a new mall.

The Bros. didn't let it phase them and took the other pipe, but their troubles still weren't over, for the Toads had recently walled off the town to stop Bowser from landing nearby and sneaking in. It was a prime example of useless Toad security measures, of course, since Bowser usually landed right at the castle anyway. And right now, it was worse than useless, for the Warp Pipe was located _outside_ the wall. Mario and Luigi sighed: it was easier getting around inside _Bowser_ than it was here – no wonder they usually stuck to the southern tunnels. But they weren't going to give up yet, and hoping they might be able to find a good jump-off point to leap over the wall, they turned and climbed up a nearby hill.

But luck was still working against them and they simply found themselves getting led farther away from the town by the ridge. Catching sight of some solid clouds above them, the Bros. wondered if _they_ would lead back to Toad Town and using their spinning move, used some convenient whirlwinds to fly up and away from the dead-end hill. They followed the clouds back eastwards, but by the time they were over the town, they were far too high to jump down. Sighing in frustration, Mario turned to go back when he caught sight of something strange in the clouds up ahead. Figuring they had already come that far, he gestured to Luigi and the two continued on, sliding up a Warp Pipe to get to the cloud in question.

It was a large block, about the size generally found on Big Island, but decorated like a blue shell. The Bros. exchanged quizzical looks. Warp Pipes in the clouds wasn't unheard of, although usually such phenomena occurred closer to Sky Land, Nimbus Land and other aerial settlements. But the shell block was something else entirely, and unable to resist, Mario walked under it and gave it a whack. Immediately, a wave of smaller Blue Shell Blocks exploded out of the larger block, sailing through the early morning sky in all directions.

Mario and Luigi blinked in stupefaction, but they didn't have long to ponder the strange block, for a chorus of angry "HEY"s soon cut through the air. The Bros. turned and shouted in surprise as three blue-shelled Koopa Paratroopas burst through the clouds, cutting the humans off from the pipe leading back to safety. Figuring they were in for a fight, Mario and Luigi swiveled about and faced the trio as they hovered next to the fragmented cloud.

"You lot hit that big block that were just floatin' about 'round here, hey?" scowled the Paratroopa in front.

"Ya did!" shouted the highest flying Paratroopa, shaking his fists and legs.

"I saw ya!" added the Paratroopa in the back, also thrashing around.

"See whatcha did!" exclaimed the leader. "There used to be a right lot o' shells stuffed into that there block, hey? And ya… I still just can't believe you lot done it… Ya knocked 'em out?!" He turned away from the Mario Bros., his cronies following his gaze out over the forests and fields that surrounded Toad Town. "See that out there, boyos? Lotsa shell blocks all over the Mushroom Kingdom, hey? And you twits ain't got a clue as to the right and proper owners o' them shells, do ya?"

The other two Paratroopas looked back at Mario and Luigi, brandishing their fists as they chanted. "Give 'em here!"

"Give 'em here!"

"Give 'em here!"

But their boss had other ideas and lunged at the other two. "Shut it! Shut it!" he ordered as he knocked them away. "We ain't gonna be petty and ask for 'em back, hey?" he said once he had coasted back in front of Mario and Luigi, although they might have preferred violence to the disquieting look the Blue Paratroopa was now giving them. He put a hand up to his chin thoughtfully, stifling his predatory smirk as he advanced on the humans. Unlike Bowser, Mario didn't step back when his opponents had boundary issues, and silently stood his ground as the blue Paratroopa slowly flew right up to him, only stopping when his beak came within an inch of Mario's nose.

He liked that: most people around those parts feared Koopas they didn't know, especially if they wore sunglasses, thanks to a fad that had gone through the Koopa Troop a couple years before. But the Blue Paratroopa crew weren't part of Bowser's army, and had no personal beef with Mario. In fact, Blue was quite thrilled at the chance to meet the man himself – to see what all the fuss was about. As he flared his nostrils and raked the plumber up and down with his bespectacled gaze, he was not disappointed. "And now that I look at ya… I'm impressed wif the 'stache," he allowed, backing back up into the open air. It was time to have some fun with the heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom. "You lot… Have ya ever worn a shell?" He looked out over the tranquil kingdom. "See, the thing about shells... They're right heavy, hey? They're…ya know, dense… Really… Really dense…"

"You think this will-a last long, bro?" muttered Mario as the Blue Paratroopa rambled.

"Maybe we should-a spin-jump out of here while he's busy," suggested Luigi.

"But they might-a attack us."

"We can-a stop them."

"Oh yeah! So let's-a make the first move _now_."

"What? But what if we could avoid it by-"

"But it'll be-a faster if we-"

"_Get me?_" Blue was in Mario's face again and he hastily fell silent, once again staring down the scowling Paratroopa. Blue didn't appreciate it when his speeches were ignored, and with his eyes narrowed dangerously, he backed away once more. "How's about ya wipe that cheeky look off your mug, hey?" He sneered at the humans. "Guess there's nuffing for it. Only one real option here, hey? You lot get to play a game! The weight o' the shells be mighty, but right glorious, too! And if you lot win the game, that weight goes away, hey?" He turned to his crew. "HEY!"

"HEY!"

"HEY!"

After echoing their boss, the two darted away, finding the nearest Shell Block and bringing it back with them, carefully positioning it above Mario and Luigi.

"Oh me, lookee here! It be one o' the blocks ya scattered! Now hit it right quick!" ordered Blue.

Figuring things would go faster if they cooperated, Mario did as he was told and hit the block, which immediately turned into an artificial shell and fell into place around Mario's body. "Gor… That suits ya rather well, don't it!" said Blue approvingly. "Right! Simple rules, hey! Dash out here and hit us wif your shell! Easy-peasy!" But when Mario didn't move from his place immediately, Blue's smile turned into a sneer. "Aw, can't move wif that heavy old shell on ya?"

"Heh!"

"Heh!"

The other two Paratroopas, now flanking Blue once more, snorted at Mario, but joke was on them as he turned to Luigi. "Hey-a Weegie, remember that move my old friends Kooper and-a Koops showed us? Think it'll work with _this_-a shell?"

"Oh yeah, I remember. You _do_ look like Shell Mario, bro. So maybe. I suppose it's-a worth a try, right? But with the hammer instead of jumping, okay?"

Mario smiled confidently at his brother and turned to face the Blue Paratroopas as Luigi pulled out his hammer, swung and knocked his brother into the air. The Paratroopas gasped as Mario, now tucked into the shell, spun around in the air and boomeranged back to the cloud.

"Gor… Nimble little zipper, ain't ya…" remarked Blue as Mario popped back out of the shell. Most non-Koopas never mastered the art of shell combat, but this human seemed to be a natural, and Blue wanted to see him in action. "Right! You lot think ya can gimme a wee smack, then go on and try, hey? I'm quick as a wink! Think ya can get me? Go!"

As his cronies cheered him on, Blue started swooping up and down, but the Mario Bros. were faster and he suddenly found himself spinning out of the sky. "You lot mean business…" he said as he flew back up, not letting the hit phase him. "Now try…a little o' THIS!" With a jerk of his head, he signaled for one of the others to join him in the evasive flying.

"Gor! It's like double the trouble, hey!" called the third Paratroopa, but in no time at all, Luigi had knocked both the other flyers out of the air with a well-timed smack of his shelled brother.

The two Paratroopas recovered quickly and flew back up. Blue paused for a moment, coolly regarding the Bros., before suddenly flitting right up to Mario once more. "You lot are the real deal! That shell weight ain't nuffing!" he crowed, once more pleased to see that the red plumber didn't flinch from his close pass. Getting all up in peoples' grills was one of the ways Blue liked to mess with his foes, but there was no messing with Mario. He flew back into the sky, a satisfied grin on his face. "Been a while since I met me a shell-worthy sort. Good on ya! You lot got the raw skills to become masters o' the shell! If ya see a shell block… Give it a whack for me, hey? And whack this too!" He looked over at the other two. "HEY!"

"HEY!" they parroted back, one after another, and flew off. This time, they returned with a multicoloured block, placing it in the open air before Mario and Luigi's cloud.

"Take these with ya! I'm sure you lot will find some use for 'em, hey?" said Blue, watching as they used their shell attack to smash the block, collecting the puzzle pieces that then flew out. Starlow hadn't been paying much attention to what the Mario Bros. had been up to, but when the items came into their possession, she perked right up. They were Attack Pieces – rare trinkets of knowledge and power, although not as rare or valuable as Star Pieces. Still, Starlow wasn't going to look the gift-Yoshi in the teeth, and when Mario stowed them in his 'hammerspace', she happily added their energy to the reserves. That added a couple more hours to the ghost forms' longevity, easy.

Blue nodded approvingly to himself. Messing with people wasn't the only thing he and his crew did: they spent a lot of their time collecting stuff. They sold or traded most of it, but some of it they hoarded just for the hell of it. Like the Shell Blocks. Part of him _was_ a little annoyed that their store had just been blown all across the land, but another part realized that it just meant he and his boys had been given a whole new treasure hunt. Between that and Mario's preternatural shellsmanship, Blue didn't begrudge giving him some of the Attack Pieces that his crew had dug up over the years. It's not like they could do much else with them, anyway: like most Star products, the only market for Attack Pieces was the black market, and none of their vendor contacts offered enough to make a trip to Rogueport or one of the other shady outposts worthwhile.

Mario and Luigi looked about ready to leave, so Blue decided to get off one last point of advice. "And don't think about carrying that heavy shell for life… Thinking like that can put a right scare into amateurs, hey?"

"How _do_ you get the-a shell off?" asked Mario, hoping there'd be an easier way than the usual power-down method of taking damage.

"Whazzat? Ya want to know how to take the shell off? You lot want to take it off… Already…" Blue frowned, but shrugged it off. Mario _was_ a natural with the shell, but he was no Koopa – what could you expect? "Well, my money says a jump might knock the shell off… You lot… Can you jump wif that shell on your back?"

Mario immediately hopped in the air, slipping right out of the shell and causing the discarded block to crumple and disappear.

"Why'd ya go and do that, hey?" admonished Blue, but again, he decided not to dwell on it. He was glad he finally got to go up against the famous Mario, and even gladder to find that despite the plumber's animosity towards the Koopa Kingdom, he certainly had nothing against shells in and of themselves. Still, he and the boys couldn't hang out there all day: they hadn't even had breakfast yet, having been woken up early by the explosion of their shell block store. With his empty stomach in mind, Blue decided to bring the meeting with the Marios to a close. "Aw well… Anyway, right nice, innit? Whenever you lot get to wanting to wear a shell, ya just hit a shell block…" He surveyed Mario and Luigi through his sunglasses once more, and then, with a final shout of "Well, I'm off!" he turned and flew away.

"Me too!" said the second Paratroopa, following his boss.

"See ya!" called the last one, and then the Blue Paratroopas were gone. Mario and Luigi exchanged looks: that certainly hadn't been how they'd expected their first foray outside of Bowser to go down.


	31. You're Too Slow

Chapter 31: You're Too Slow

It was clear that the only way the Mario Bros. were going to get anywhere was _through_ the caves, and so they returned through the pipe and headed north underground, fighting their way past wild Nooze birds and Fawflants – strange mechanical Fawful-faced bugs. Eventually they came across a friendlier face too.

"Whoa! Hey, Mario Bros.!" the Toad smiled as the Bros. walked up to him, but his face soon fell back into a worried frown. "I came to see what was up with the security system, but… I got lost. And I couldn't get this bridge working to go back. It's easy, usually. To rotate the bridge, you hit the lever. But I lost my lever-whacking wrench, so I can't do anything. Mario, any chance you know how to hit far-off things?"

Mario and Luigi grinned wryly at each other as thee Toad looked up at them pleadingly. As it just so happened, there was a Blue Shell Block right there in the sewers, although whether one of the recently-released ones or one the Paratroopas hadn't found in the first place, they didn't know or care. The Mario Bros. had grown used to lucky breaks helping them along in their heroic adventures, and didn't question this latest break either, although Starlow made note of it. Perhaps the other Stars hadn't _completely_ forsaken her after all.

Using the shell, Mario and Luigi easily navigated the maze-like lattice of Stretch Block bridges, activating both the switches that controlled the blocks and the ones connected to the door that barred them for getting further along through the caves. After all three of its switches were hit, the door whirred to life and opened, and discarding the shell, the Bros. pressed on ahead.

The next room was quite unlike the rest of the flooded caves, looking more like an antechamber than a tunnel. Mario and Luigi walked up to the two Toads guarding the passageway leading out the other end of the chamber. The one on the left hopped in greeting. "Mario!" he said, "Listen, sorry, but even you aren't allowed in here. Because something really, really, really important is stored here."

Popping into visibility, Starlow herself addressed the guard, figuring the presence of a Star would ease their trepidation. "Yeah, the Dark Star, right?! Listen! Did Fawful pass by?"

"Fawful? Who's that?" asked the Toad on the right.

Starlow frowned. "Something's off…" she muttered to herself, eyeing the Toads mistrustfully before speaking up again. "Isn't it odd for you guys to be down here?"

"Odd? Really?" said the first Toad, smiling vacantly at the threesome. "Odd like… THIS?!" as he spoke, the Toad disguises blinked away, revealing two Fawflants.

Mario, Luigi and Starlow shouted in alarm as the enemies attacked them, but the Bros. made quick work of the mechanical creatures. They had scarcely ended their battle when the ground began to shake and an explosion echoed down the hallway, followed quickly by a cry of "I HAVE CHORTLES!"

Mario and Luigi sprinted through the doorway with Starlow floating along beside them, but they were too late: there floated Fawful, surrounded by the wreckage of the security system that had held the Dark Star dormant for centuries. They watched in horror as the accursed Star now floated up to his outstretched hand and began radiating black energy.

"The beauty hurts me teeth! Such power of darkness! My spine has the tingle!" cackled Fawful, letting the waves crash over him.

"No! Too late! It's Fawful!" gasped Starlow, scarce believing what she was seeing.

The Bean looked around at the sound, stowing the Dark Star under his cloak and summoning a barrage of blasts at the intruders, sending them scurrying back to the doorway. But he didn't mind that he had witnesses to his latest triumph, and he didn't even let the fact that the Bros. had inexplicably escaped from Bowser phase him: free or not, they couldn't stop him now, and he laughed gleefully at the looks on their faces.

"Time for the crying! Too badness for you! For the Dark Star is snuggled with Fawful! Are you wanting to see it? Fawful's new Dark Star?" He spun around and pulled the Star out once more, letting it float above his head. "You look! Such badness! Such pitch-black power!" Bubbling with wicked happiness, Fawful danced in place atop his flying platform, celebrating in song:

"_Fawful sings a song of bad!  
Mushroom Kingdom is so sad!  
All of it is for Fawful!  
And the…rhyme with…that._"

Rhyming wasn't the Engrish-babbling Bean's strong point, but he didn't let it faze him as he stopped his jig and put away the Dark Star and sneered down at his three spectators. "It is Fawful day! Joys! Be trembling before me! All who resist will be beat like naughty little eggs! I HAVE CHORTLES!" He then flew up and away, blasting a hole in the ceiling and disappearing from view, his laugher still echoing through the tunnels as the heroes hurried over the bridge to the pillaged platform.

"Oooooh… Mario… I'm so sorry…" moaned the Toad that lay there. He was one of a select few Toads who had been trusted to guard the Dark Star, but he had found himself powerless to stop Fawful from blasting away the electrodes that had kept the sinister Star secure in a field of electricity. Now he lay there, burned by Fawful's blasters and unable to move as the Mario Bros. kneeled over him. "The Dark Star… is raw evil… Quickly… You must get it back…" he beseeched them.

"Peach has been captured… The Dark Star is freed… If this keeps up, the Mushroom Kingdom is done for!" moaned Starlow, the despair evident in her voice. She had failed. No matter what she did, they were always one step behind Fawful. _Fawful!_ That a crazed Bean like him could recover the Dark Star, it was unthinkable. And it was on _her_ watch, too. She was a shameful excuse for a Star Sprite.

Mario and Luigi exchanged worried looks, stood and jumped up and down. In the Mushroom Kingdom, jumping wasn't just a greeting, it was also a substitute for fist-shaking, a show of celebration, and a gesture indicating confidence and overall hot-bloodedness. They knew that trying to talk Starlow out of her dread wouldn't work, but without speaking a word, the Mario Bros. were showing her that they hadn't given up yet – that they were still willing to fight, and she should be too. Looking at their confident faces, she smiled slightly: she had forgotten exactly who she was on that adventure with, and forced away her self-doubts. All _wasn't_ lost yet, and with the Mario Bros. on the case, it wouldn't _be_ lost.

"Yeah!" she said, snapping herself out of her temporary nadir. "We must return the Dark Star before its seal breaks!"

"Mario…" groaned the Toad. "Fawful said he… was off to take control of Peach's Castle! That door up there leads straight to Toad Town… You have to hurry…"

Mario and Luigi nodded and hurried away, taking a different bridge over the water that flowed far below the walkways. Once on the surface, they'd send someone down to help the Toad guard, adding even more impetus for them to hustle, avoiding the Noozes and Fawflants as they made their way through the last of the Toad Town Caves and finally found a Warp Pipe that wasn't blocked off.

They came out the other end in eastern Toad Town, directly south of Peach's Castle. Their eyes had barely grown used to the bright sun when a Toad came sprinting over to the Bros.

"Mario! Oh man, and Luigi too! Where have you guys BEEN?! You two disappeared and Peach and Toadsworth too… It was like, all of a sudden, Peach's castle was just empty!" he babbled.

"Have you-a seen Fawful? Did he-a come through this pipe?" asked Mario.

"Huh? Fawful? Dunno about him… Anyway, castle entry is prohibited now. But you're allowed in, right? I mean, right? You oughta try!"

Mario and Luigi nodded and headed north. By 'prohibited', they knew the Toad just meant that everyone else was too scared to investigate – typical Toads, waiting for the Mario Bros. to set things right while they immediately went back to their daily lives. It was Bowser's fault, really, since his constant attacks were the reason why the Toads had gotten so accustomed to crises. But on the other hand, they supposed that not having to deal with a panicking populace each time Peach was kidnapped or whatever _did_ make the plumbers' jobs a little easier.

Unfortunately, no sooner had Mario and Luigi started across the bridge over the moat when the ground began to shake and one by one, purple and black barriers started bursting out of the flagstones. The last one rose up right in front of Mario and Luigi and Starlow came out for a better look. "No!" she cried as red eyes opened in the middle of the black, star-shaped spot of the barrier. She turned to Mario and Luigi. "I can feel the dark energy – it goes far beyond these physical blockades: there's an entire forcefield surrounding the castle!" She looked back towards the citadel, her face riddled with worry. "Fawful, Peach and the Dark Star are in there, I can feel it… The Dark Star… Its power has begun to awaken…" Not letting despair get to her again, she glared at the obstacles resolutely. "We have to get past this blockade…"

"Maybe there's a way underground that we can-a use," said Mario. "We should ask the Toads if they're-a keeping any more secrets about the caves from-a me and Luigi."

It was clear that Mario was a bit irked about not knowing about the Dark Star and its secret resting place, and given how the Toad Town Tunnels were essentially the plumbers' domain, Starlow could see why. And he had a point, too: Starlow wondered if the guard could perhaps help them, and either way, they had forgotten to tell anyone he was stuck down there, adding to the reasons for them to backtrack a little. "Good idea… Let's head to Toad Town and come up with a strategy." But before they could take a single step, an all-too-familiar chuckling filled the air.

"I HAVE CHORTLES!"


	32. Pure Soul, Black Heart

Chapter 32: Pure Soul, Black Heart

Inside the castle, Fawful and Midbus were all settled in. The halls were crawling with their forces and the Bean had already harnessed the radiant energy of the Dark Star to form a barrier around the castle. He could already imagine what sort of powers would be at his disposal once the Dark Star was awake, and bubbled with excitement as he hooked the dormant Star up to the device he had built especially for that day. Princess Peach was already in place, floating unconsciously in a giant glass sphere placed atop one of the machine's two platforms, and once he finished securing the Dark Star to the other panel, Fawful pulled out a small remote and activated the device. Immediately, the machine started extracting energy from Peach, sending it through the green pipe connecting the two panels and transferring it to the Dark Star.

Fawful had read that it took cost three Star Sages their life forces to subdue the Dark Star, but to wake the thing up, he knew that it would only take the power of one pure soul. Peach's soul. Fawful had hoped that any old person would do at first, but he found more information in the castle after he had taken over. Most of his knowledge had already come from Mushroom Castle, as he would often sneak into the library in the dead of night during his years of selling badges for beans in the basement, but it wasn't until he gained control of the building that he could finally get his hands on the more sensitive material.

Apparently, the royal line had been touched by the Stars countless generations ago, and the magical energy had been transferred from parent to child ever since. Peach's own mother died in childbirth, and her spirit's release had somehow amplified the magic in her daughter, making her the most potent source of goodness and purity the Mushroom World had seen in millennia. It was the reason why she could dispel Bowser's black magic with the point of a finger, even though he himself was the most powerful Koopa born in generations. It was the reason why she had been the ideal host for the Shadow Queen too, and although Cackletta hadn't known it at the time, it was also why Peach's voice alone could awaken the Beanstar.

Of course, once he had read about her unique energy, it all made perfect sense to Fawful, and although he knew he probably _could_ awaken the Dark Star by sucking a few dozen regular goodie-goodies dry, he realized it would go a lot faster and more smoothly if he used the golden girl. "Such excitement, like a pie made of wow!" he burbled as he and Midbus watched the machine at work. "The Dark Star's dark power is building!"

"Lord Fawful… With this, the world… …Will be ours!" grunted Midbus, looking over at his master, but he didn't get the response he expected.

"I HAVE ANGST! Do not tell Fawful that. That gives Fawful stress!" admonished the Bean. "We are just at the starting. The power of the Dark Star is still sleepy like a dull baby. It is taking time for the Dark Star to draw out the power of Princess Peach!" His plan was going well so far, but he knew better than to count his Yoshis before they hatched: being overconfident and assuming everything would continue to go the right way never ended well. And as if to confirm his paranoia, alarms started going off. "Bad noise!" he shouted.

Midbus looked over at the monitor Fawful had attached to the wall of their makeshift control room. "Someone attempts to breach the castle," he reported, reading the words scrolling across the screen.

Fawful's concern was short-lived, and his usual grin spread across his face once more. "I have many chortles at such stupidity! WE are snug as bugs snuggling in a comfy rug. The Dark Star's blockade laughs at intruders!" Pulling out his remote control, he took control of the Fawfulcopter nearest to the bridge and flew it over. "The fink-rats Red and Green, why am I not making the surprise face?" He muttered to himself, before activating the loudspeaker. "I HAVE CHORTLES!" he cackled, drawing the attention of the Mario Bros. and Starlow, who glared at the approaching Fawfulcopter. "Again the tears are flowing! But not on the face of Fawful! Fawful is on the cozy couch, sipping tea that laughs at you! And he is watching the seal on the Dark Star as it breaks… When it does, all the kingdom will be dark as darkness! But until then…maybe Fawful will have some shopping."

Fawful clicked off the loudspeaker and had the Fawfulcopter fly away, smirking to himself about his comments.

"Why did you tell them you will shop? There is no shopping time," remarked Midbus.

"Yessing, but Fawful is enjoying the messing with of the fink-rats. They should have the time wasting in the new mall of consumer's isms while we are the waiting here: if I did not give them the false hint, to the mall they may not be going."

"But we stay here?" confirmed Midbus.

"Yessing. The Dark Star and Pink Princess were all we had the need of, so now our need is to be here with them. Our minions of treachery and brainwashedness can be the continuing footsoldiers."

"Understood," said Midbus. "But I do not like the wait."

"Then have the preparations," said Fawful. "In casing the barrier has the falling, we need to have forces of greatness to stop the fink-rats."

"More robots. That would be good?" suggested the pink Pigbull.

"Goodness," nodded Fawful, turning back to the device as Midbus lumbered away. He wasn't going to take any changes, oh no, and he wasn't going to let anything take him by surprise. Keeping a level head was the only way to win, but it was getting harder and harder for the naturally excitable Bean as he watched his machine siphon off Peach's life force. It would take hours, maybe even days, but sooner or later, the Dark Star _would_ awaken, and then nothing would be able to stop him. He could feel it in his cellulose – soon the world would be his. The world that had abandoned him as a child, the world that had taken away his beloved mistress and left him for dead, the world that forgot about him, the world that would soon fear him.

"Rururururu," he chuckled. It started out as a small little laugh, but soon the hallway echoed with his cackling. He'd show them all, he'd make them pay. He'd shroud the world in darkness, make them crawl in the shadows like he had, make them starve, make them tremble at his garbled words and beg for mercy. But there was no mercy towards the Mushrooms, Beans or Koopas in Fawful's blackened heart. Just hate.

"RURURURU! I. HAVE. FURYYYYYY!"


	33. Munchausen Bros

Chapter 33: Münchausen Bros.

"THE MALL IS OPEN! Construction is done! Toad Town's residential quarter is straight ahead. Head south from the residences to find the new shopping mall!" Mario and Luigi supposed _that's_ what Fawful had been talking about with his 'shopping' comment. Of course, neither was in a shopping mood and so they simply headed to the residential area, gasping in shock at the sight of the numerous Blorbed Toads lying around the square. They had only been stuck inside Bowser for a day, and were quite alarmed by just how far the disease had spread in that time.

"Who opens a shopping mall at a time like this?" snorted a nearby Toad girl. "So stupid! Everyone's down with the Blorbs!"

"Yeah, the Blorbs are not cool. And the princess is gone too. But hey, that's why this is the EXACT time to cheer everyone up!" responded her male companion.

The girl paused for a moment. "Yeah… True…" she eventually muttered, but she didn't look convinced as she walked away. The Bros. were of a mind to agree with her as they wandered around the sleepy Town. Sometimes the Toads took the constant troubles that befell their kingdom a little _too_ in stride.

Finding no one with any info that could help them, the Bros. decided that maybe the mall would prove more fruitful – or at least give them easy access to the tunnels so that they could try to find a way to Mushroom Castle by themselves. The first Toad they came across was simply hawking some PR stunt for the mall opening, and the second one only had information about the various stores in the mall, although he also offered the somewhat useful advice to go talk to Dr. Toadley. No one else knew anything and the only Warp Pipe in the mall led to the area of the Toad Town Tunnels right next to the Pipe that led back into Bowser, far south from where the Bros. hoped to venture. With little else to do, they figured they might as well seek out the doctor and see if he had at least had any progress with finding a cure for the Blorbs.

As they walked into the clinic, a Toad seemed to be on his way out. "That little cut on the back of my head is totally healed! Thank the doctor for me! And thank you, too…"

"Well, Dr. Toadley would like to keep an eye on it, so pop back in for a checkup next week," smiled the nurse.

"Heh… Hope you help me then…" said the Toad, blushing and turning to go.

The nurse was used to that sort of reaction and didn't react, instead simply calling out, "OK! Next patient!"

Mario and Luigi exchanged a quick look. Now was hardly a good time to be wasting the Doctor's attention on minor scrapes, and the other Toads in the waiting room didn't look so bad off either, except for one seriously disturbed red-capped Toad shaking his head and muttering to himself in the front row. Still, he was no Blorbs sufferer, and before he or anyone else could speak up, the Mario Bros. decided that their business was more pressing (and rightfully so), and hurried up to the nurse.

"Oh, what's this? Luigi and Mario! Is something ailing you today?" asked the nurse. She had heard that the Mario Bros. and most of the other Toads in the castle had disappeared after the meeting the day before, so it was a relief to see them back in town. Surely they had simply been adventuring to save the Princess from Bowser, who was rumored to be the one responsible for the castle attack.

"We need to talk to the-a doctor," explained Mario.

"The doctor can only see one patient at a time," said the nurse. "I'm afraid you'll have to come in one by one."

Luigi hopped in frustration. "No no, we're not here for-a checkups. We-a need his help."

"What? You want to consult the doctor at the same time? We really shouldn't… For that, you really need an appointment…" The nurse had been up all night juggling the regular assortment of walk-in patients and the ever-increasing Blorbs victims. The clinic couldn't keep up with the rate of infection anymore: they had no more room for new cases and had been forced to let all the recently infected Toads remain where they had fallen. It was stressful and exhausting trying to manage the clinic in the crisis, and Dr. Toadley's intern was too addled to even consider that the Mario Bros. _weren't_ there for medical issues. She was practically on autopilot as she clung to procedure, and looked at the Bros. in confusion. "If you don't mind me asking, what ails you, Mario? Your mustache has a fine sheen… You seem quite healthy. And Luigi seems to be jumping with vigor…"

Mario surveyed the nurse pensively, taking in the bags under her eyes and the sag in her stance. Something told him that reasoning wasn't going to get them anywhere fast, and instead, he turned away from the overworked intern and faked a coughing fit, letting out a wavering moan afterwards for emphasis. "Ooohhhh."

The nurse's eyes widened in horror. "Sore throat! That could be an early symptom of the Blorbs!"

Luigi arched a confused eyebrow at Mario, but when his brother raised his own eyebrow and shot the man in green the hairy eyeball, Luigi caught on. "Yah!" he shouted, jumping in excitement before getting a hold of himself. He also turned away from the nurse, clutching his chest and waving his hand around as he cried out and pretended to cough and moan. "Ahhh. Ahh hahh hahh. Ohhhhh…"

"No!" gasped the hapless nurse, hopping about in fear. "Chest pains?! This is an emergency! If you two get Blorbed, the kingdom's doomed! You two must see the doctor immediately! Come with me!" She practically sprinted through the door leading out of the waiting room, with Mario and Luigi pausing to nod approvingly at each other's performance before they followed her into the darkened inner chamber of the clinic. Neither of them heard the commotion brewing outside, nor did they see the door open behind them, a familiar silhouette stretching across the clinic floor as the Toads in the waiting room turned and gasped in horror.


	34. Headed for Trouble

Chapter 34: Headed for Trouble

"Should we try to move him?"

"How long do you think he'll be out?"

"I dunno."

"No way, he's too heavy."

"Hey, remember what Goomp said?"

"Yeah, that Bowser was all fat or something."

"Is it just me, or does he smell kinda grody?"

"Well, fatt_er_."

"Liked singed hair?"

"I don't think he's fat."

"No."

"_You_ didn't have to pull him out."

"Take a whiff, there's something funny about him."

"Ew, what are you doing?"

"He said the king smells."

"Urrrrrrr…" All the other voices fell silent as Bowser groaned, having been roused by the jumble of echoing voices all around him. Wincing painfully, he slowly slid his eyes open, finding himself lying on his belly and surrounded by Goombas and Shy Guys.

"Your Electrocutedness, you're awake!" grinned a nearby Shyguy.

"Rrrrrwwwhha- what happened?" asked Bowser, pushing himself onto his hands and knees.

"We found you lying in some sort of chamber," explained a Goomba.

"Alarms went off after we entered," added another one.

"We were just barely able to drag you out before the whole place was filled with lightning!" exclaimed a third Goomba.

"We figure that's what knocked you out – a shock from the security system," said a Shy Guy.

"Security system… Electrocution…" Bowser raised a hand up to his throbbing forehead as he stood up. "Yeah, that sounds kinda familiar… There was something else, too… Voices… Or, maybe it was just Chippy?"

The Koopa Troop members looked at each other sideways as Bowser shook his head to try and clear his mind out. There were rumours going about that the Koopa King was suffering from some kind of malady. Some of their company reported seeing Bowser talking to thin air, and they had heard as much from Goomp, Paraplonk and Sgt. Guy when they had met up with the trio early that morning. According to the oddballs, Bowser had spent the night stuck in the kitchen floor talking to himself, and while the troops weren't sure if that part of the story was true given the somewhat loony nature of its conveyors, there was no denying that the king had resoundingly failed to reclaim his castle the previous day. And then there were the stories of Bowser sucking living organisms into his hammerspace, which was not only implausible but impossible, and yet, kept being reported. It concerned his loyal troop members, and catching the shadows of doubt on their faces, Bowser scowled.

"What's with the faces?"

The troops jumped, beads of sweat forming on many a brow.

"Um... we…"

"Er, well…"

"You see…"

"ENOUGH!" Immediately the jumble of voices fell silent again, the Goombas and Shy Guys watching as Bowser massaged his temples. "How long was I out for?" he wondered. "You. What time is it?"

The Shy Guy Bowser was staring at squeaked in fear, but quickly answered his king. "Ih-ih-it's-s-s Seven fifty-six, Your Badness."

"So, almost eight o'clock, huh? And it was sunrise when I fell in the cave… What time was sunrise?"

"Six," replied another Shy Guy.

"Hmmm," Bowser scrunched his brow. "I dunno how long it was until I met up with those Monty Moles… Less than an hour, so that means… Uhh…" Bowser snorted in frustration, throwing his arms up. "Well, whatever, at least I didn't sleep the whole morning away. Now let's get up to the surface – that Fawful freak's taken both my castle _and_ my Princess Peach, and we are gonna get them both back!"

"Yes sir!" chorused the minions as Bowser started off towards the nearby stairs. He jumped up to the landing snorting to himself at the shoddy half-finished job the Toads did – _he_ always made sure _his_ stairwells went _all_ the way to the floor.

Speaking of construction, he looked back towards the hole he had excavated or the Monty Moles, but it was still clogged with fallen dirt. "Typical," he snorted to himself, "lazy minions…"

"Umm…" frowned the lead Goomba.

"Not you," said Bowser, rolling his eyes. "Although come to think of it, what _have_ you lot done since yesterday?" He regretted asking the question almost as soon as it passed through his lips, for the nervous Goombas and Shy Guys immediately started chattering on and on about every little thing they did, hoping to make it sound like they had accomplished something – _anything_. Bowser merely rolled his eyes again and tuned it all out, grateful that it didn't take long for the group to find a Warp Pipe leading to the surface.

"Bwa ha ha! At least _some_ people remember that I'm a forced to be reckoned with!" grinned Bowser as he and his handful of minions were met with a crowd of screaming Toads. He looked around as they fled into the stores that dotted the hillside the Warp Pipe stuck out from; he remembered hearing from his spies that the Toads had been building some sort of marketplace or mall or whatever, and figured that's where they were. Pity it was still early in the morning – otherwise there surely would have been a larger crowd, but he was still happy with his reception. It was far better than the one he received back at his castle, that's for sure.

"Your orders, sire?" asked the Goomba at Bowser's side.

"Should we head back to your castle?" inquired the leader of the Shy Guy corps.

Bowser crossed his arms and shook his head. "No way! I spent _all day_ yesterday walking over there castle, I _don't_ want to do it again. Besides, stupid Fawful's using Mushroom Castle as his base." Bowser spat out a tiny lick of flame as he muttered to himself darkly. "Idiot doesn't know a thing about castle quality. Turing my glorious fortress into some stupid theater and using _Peach's_ castle as his base? The idiot…"Bowser sighed and straightened up. "Well anyway, it's off to Mushroom Castle we go. We'll clobber Fawful there and claim the castle as our own, along with Peach, and then we'll worry about _my_ castle."

"Umm, S-Sire?" said a Shy Guy meekly as Bowser started to walk towards the nearest set of stairs.

"What?" growled the Koopa King, looking back over his shoulder.

"Um, we _can't_ get to Mushroom Castle… at this time…"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Bowser turned and faced the quivering Shy Guy.

"Well, you see, we've been monitoring the castle, and a barrier went up all around it a short while ago. And there's a blockade across the moat. There's weird energy interfering with my radio signal, but my operatives say that it's impassable, the blockade."

"Oh really? We'll have to see about that. I'll break down whatever kooky invention he's concocted, and then-"

"B-but it's not an invention," interrupted the Shy Guy, wincing as Bower's eyes flashed dangerously. He swallowed hard and continued. "Most of the signal was too garbled to make out the full report, but I think Fawful made some sort of announcement, probably to some Toads or something, and one of the things I could make out from my operative's conveyance of the speech was 'Dark Star'."

"'Dark Star'?" repeated Bowser thoughtfully, scrunching his brow. "I've heard that name before… It was a Star that went bad and almost destroyed the world, or something. Kamek told me about it once when we were trying to think of new ways to take over the Mushroom Kingdom… Gah, too bad he's not here."

Bowser frowned as he thought about his advisor. He had probably been captured and was being held somewhere. When Smithy invaded, Kamek had even gotten himself mind-washed, but he had studied up on that particular brand of magic since then, and Bowser was sure he wouldn't be so easily broken if Fawful tried anything.

Of course, if Kamek had come up against _Cackletta_, the story might have been different: the memory of how easily she had taken control of Bowser's mind, energy and body still made him shudder, and it still angered him to think she then used her living puppet to take control of the Koopa Troop and hypnotize Bowser's own children. Sometimes he wondered if things would have turned out different if Kamek hadn't happened to be on vacation to Koopa-knows-where that week (somewhere too far to come back early, yet close enough that Kamek had a very detailed account of what had happened in the Beanbean Kingdom while he was away). But shaking his head, he put those thoughts aside. Fawful wasn't Cackletta – no spirits would be controlling Bower this time. It was just him in his body. Well, him and Chippy, but she was on his side, so that was okay. She was even being quiet for a change: not a single lippy remark since Bowser woke up.

_Shocking_, thought Bowser to himself, before uncrossing his arms and sighing. "Well, if Fawful has this Dark Star thing, that just means we'll have to take that from him too. Come on, I still wanna see this 'impassable' blockade for myself." He then set off, the Goombs and Shy Guys in tow. Word had spread hat there were Koopas in the mall, and the only Toads they met as they made their eastwards and up the hill were immobile Blorbed Toads. The Goombas eyed them warily, concerned that the disease could possibly be transmissible between the two sentient mushroom species.

Noticing the way his troops shied away from the swollen Toads, Bowser's moodiness worsened. Part of the reason he had tried to get in on the Blorbs meeting the day before was because Kamek and the other eggheads monitoring the situation across the border wondered if the disease could jump to Goombas. But Peach, Mario, Toadsworth and that Star thing didn't even give him a chance to point out how unreasonable they were being in excluding him. Hell, if they hadn't kicked him out, he wouldn't have run into Fawful, and he'd still have his castle and Peach would still be safe.

Bowser was still fuming about the whole thing even as his little group reached the top of the hill and the upper level of stores. Passing by a derelict Warp Pipe, Bowser couldn't help but vent some of his frustration with a derisive snort. "Psh, stupid Toads, too lazy to even remove broken down Warp Pipes. What kind of shoddy mall is this?" Bowser smirked to himself as he looked around. "It's not even a mall, really. Just a bunch of stores on a hill. Unconnected Stores, and broken Pipes, and sick Toads. They don't even bother putting their nasty, diseased townies in the medical center – what, are they too weak to roll 'em up the hill?" Bowser looked back at the clinic next to the Warp Pipe, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks as a new idea came to his mind.

"Um, is something wrong, Your Angryness?" asked one of the Goombas timidly.

"Well, I was just thinking, we're here already – might as well see if the doctors will tell us anything about the Blorbs. I know you lot wanna know if you'll get sick too."

"Oh, that's very, er, considerate of you," said the Goomba in surprise.

Bowser snorted. "I don't want my minions getting sick is all. Those idiots at the castle wouldn't tell me anything yesterday, but there's no Star brats or Mario Bros. here to mess with me this time. I'll get us the scoop – just you watch me."

"Yeah! That's our King Bowser!" crowed the minions as their leader stomped over to the door. They knew an opportunity to suck-up when they saw one.

"Go get 'em!"

"Make 'em sing!"

"Bowser!"

"Bowser!"

"BOWSER!"


	35. Bowseritis

Chapter 35: Bowseritis

"Doctor, your next patients are here."

Mario, Luigi and the nurse all watched Toadley expectantly, but the doctor didn't even turn to look at his intern as she spoke. He hadn't even moved when she walked over beside him, instead standing with his eyes closed, facing away from the door and the Mario Bros. now standing in the middle of his room. Even from behind, they could see he was no ordinary doctor: instead of scrubs, he wore an indigo robe that flowed all the way down to the floor, more like a Magikoopa or a Shaman, although the mushroom cap atop his head suggested he was a Toad. Still, the unique yellow stars of various sizes that spangled the indigo cap, which was topped by a blue orb, made the Bros. wonder if perhaps he was simply wearing a cap to look like the mushroom folk, like Peach's father. They had even heard that the doctor wore a veil over his mouth, and looking around the room, decorated as it was with a pair of strange pillars topped by glowing yellow orbs, numerous clay urns atop the shelves of medicine, and walls painted like the night sky, they wondered if perhaps he _was_ a Shaman.

While the Mario Bros. wondered about the mysterious diagnostician, the silence stretched on, and after a moment, the nurse decided to break it. "Uh… Doctor?"

"GRAVE ILLNESS!" he suddenly shouted, causing Mario and Luigi to jump. Toadley didn't even look around at them as he continued speaking his voice booming in the dimly lit room. "Do these two men have an incredibly grave illness? Yes. Will there be catastrophic results if we do not cure their ills? There certainly will."

"But we're-a not sick," said Mario. "We're here to ask about the-a-"

"Silence!" ordered the doctor, his back still to the Bros. He could sense there was something off about them even without looking at them. There was something wrong with their energies. Something gravely wrong. Something invisible to the eye, yet plain as day to the mystic. A creeping in their very souls. But Toadley knew better than to try and explain that: only a fellow mage would understand, so like with the Toads he kid-gloved day in and day out, he put it in words he was sure the humans would understand. "You mean harbor a virus most deadly. Is it gradually emerging? It most certainly is."

As he raised a hand towards the crustal ball on his table, his intern turned to the Bros. "This crystal imaging is how the doctor diagnoses patients. Watch carefully."

"Yes…" breathed Toadley as he focused all his attention on the auras of his latest patients. "Do I see it? I do." He murmured as his mind's eye investigated the tarnished souls, the clouds in the crystal swirling as he slowly picked out the foreign energy pattern. "And did it emerge? If did." He had it now, but it was no ordinary echo in the ether. It was something more. Complex and powerful… and evil. "A most deadly virus that will surely spell your doom." He enigmatically continued his narration, flaring his nostrils as he urged the crystal to identify the energy for him, calling upon his greatest powers of clairvoyance to solve the puzzle.

The nurse watched with bated breath and even the Mario Bros. were curious, craning their necks to see the face emerging in the crystal before the doctor. Had Starlow been corporeal at that moment, she would have been sweating: she could feel Dr. Toadley testing her illusion, and she feared the image in the crystal ball might shatter her web of white lies.

"It is…called…" The answer was tantalizingly close, and suddenly the crystal cleared. A tan snout, one corner curling up into a sneer; one bushy eyebrow dropping lower as the eye narrowed. Red hair, white teeth; curved horns and large shell. Green and yellow scales. A Dragon-Koopa and black magic user – Toadley should have known. And now that he knew the Koopa King's energy, he realized that the taint carried by the Mario Bros. wasn't the only source of Bowser's energy in the vicinity and spun around, pointing towards the door. "BOWSERITIS!"

Mario and Luigi's eyes widened as they caught sight of Bowser's face in the crystal ball, watching as it laughed and gasping in surprise as the villain's voice filled the room.

"MWAHAHA! Somebody page me?"

Mario and Luigi's eyes widened as they realized the sound wasn't part of the show. They spun around and cried out in alarm as Bowser himself stepped out of the shadowy hallway, the sneer on his face matching the one in the crystal behind them.

"Indeed! A virus most vile shows itself at last!" said Toadley, tucking his arms back under his robe as he viewed Bowser pensively. "And is this the virus that plagues you men? It is." Toadley rambled on absent-mindedly – literally, for he had already shifted his mind's eye from the Bros to Bowser. He had never had the pleasure of being in the presence of a Dragon-Koopa before, and could sense the raw energy coursing in the creature's veins from across the room. It was no mystery why some circles of mages called Bowser, the most powerful Koopa in generations, the demon king. Toadley knew the Mushroom Kingdom was fortunate that their enemy wasn't smart or skilled enough to put his magic to _good_ use: from what the doctor had heard, the few times Bowser _did_ call upon the black arts, he actually gave the Mario Bros. a run for their money. _And it appears he has managed to do something to them now, too._ "And is it a pox on body and soul? It is." Riddled Toadley as he wondered what exactly had happened.

"A pox? You're a pox!" growled Bowser.

But there was something wrong with him too. Like the Mario Bros., Bowser clearly didn't feel it himself, but even though Toadley was unfamiliar with normal Dragon-Koopa energy patterns, he could tell there was something affecting the king as well as the plumbers. "I must be frank with you. Bowseritis is powerful." Knowing he needed more time to suss out what was going on, Toadley pulled out a prescription book and began scribbling nonsense as he babbled. "Recovering from it takes quite a bit of time. I'm prescribing ten days' worth of antibiotics." Whatever had happened between the Koopa and the humans, it wasn't one way: just as the Mario Bros. were veiled in the Koopa King's shadow, so too were their energies infecting him. But theirs were far fainter, buried deep, and not alone.

"Take these three times a day." Toadley continued, furiously trying to figure out what was wrong with the Dragon-Koopa. If he didn't know better, he might have said Bowser was a pregnant mother of octuplets, if not more – it was like he was filled with souls that didn't belong to him. But that wasn't possible. And he couldn't get a clear picture: it was as if something or someone was actively clouding his mind. "With food, preferably." But before the flummoxed doctor could think of anything else to say, Bowser lost patience and lunged.

Mario and Luigi jumped over the Dragon-Koopa as he slid across the carpet, but Toadley was not as fast and scaly fist met face, sending the doctor flying. The nurse jumped up and down in place, wordlessly panicking while Mario and Luigi nimbly landed near the front of the room, glaring at Bowser as he turned around.

"Mario! And Green 'Stache!" he snarled. "So you two dolts wanna get the Dark Star, huh?" Bowser couldn't believe his useless minions hadn't known that the Bros. were in town, but he guessed he shouldn't have been surprised. Whenever trouble was afoot, Mario and Luigi just _had_ to get involved, after all – they just _had_ to be goody-goodies and set things right. They were probably the ones sniffing around Fawful's barrier – it would have been nice if that useless Shy Guy spy or whoever had made sure his superior got the memo about who the crazed little Bean was talking to, signal interference or no signal interference. But of course, thinking back on it, who else _could_ it have been? Bowser knew for a fact that no Toad would dare approach a captured castle, and his eyes narrowed as another thought struck him. "AND you're trying to retake Peach's Castle?"

Mario and Luigi returned the Koopa's steely gaze, and Bowser snorted, the flames already flickering in the back of his throat. "No way! Both the Dark Star and Peach's Castle should be mine!" It was Mario's fault that this had all happened, after all, and what exactly had been doing all this time? Bowser was he one fighting Fawful – if anything, _he_ deserved the spoils of this war. And what would Mario and Luigi do with an evil star anyway? Feed it pasta and hope it turns good? Have Peach bake it a cake?

And that was another thing they weren't getting their mitts on: Peach was in the castle, and Bowser would be the one saving her this time. Then she'd kiss _him_ as thanks for rescuing her; then she'd realize how stupid Mario was and how awesome Bowser was and fall in love with _him_. The Dark Star would be his, the castle would be his, Peach would be his… No way was he letting Mario stop him this time, and Bowser roared in determination. "THEY WILL BE MINE!"


	36. External Conflict

Chapter 36: External Conflict

Bowser charged towards the Bros. who quickly split up. Bowser decided to go after Mario, but the red plumber merely jumped over his assailant. Bowser snarled as he came back around, but before he could launch another attack, the Bros. were both in the air and crashing down on his head. Bowser swatted at them, but they both landed their boots squarely between his eyes and he staggered backwards, not even waiting for his eyes to uncross before running at Luigi. He was going to be smart about it this time, however, and skidded to a halt, snorting in the human's face as he pulled his arm back and then jumped with Luigi when the human tried to dodge the attack like his brother had before.

Luigi cried out as the Dragon-Koopa hit his mark and sent him tumbling backwards onto the carpet, clutching his reddening nose. But Bowser's victory was short lived as Mario came barreling at him with a hammer and sent him careening back to the other side of the room. Bowser growled in frustration as he pulled himself up. He had gotten too used to fighting Fawful's forces and the random Mushroom Kingdom creatures – he had forgotten how fast the Mario Bros. were, and how hard it was to evade their attacks. He needed to land enough blows of his own before they could wear him down, but he had just the way to do that.

Mario and Luigi tensed as a squad of Goombas suddenly came running out if the hallway behind Bowser. Their king roared and pointed at the Bros. and his troops obeyed instantly, swarming across the room towards the plumbers. Mario and Luigi jumped over as many of the scrambling mushrooms, but a few managed to land their tackles, and the Bros. were so busy they didn't even notice Bowser blasting a portion of the Goombas with his fireballs, sending them sailing through the high-ceilinged room. But they noticed when the flaming mushrooms came back down, and while the first couple hit home, Mario and Luigi quickly recovered and used their hammers to bat away the rest – sending them bouncing right at Bowser.

The Koopa King snarled at the barrage of his own minions. _That_ wasn't supposed to happen, and he glared at his scorched and battered troops accusingly as they dragged themselves out of the way of their advancing King. "Stupid little pests!" he spat at Mario and Luigi, stopping in the middle of the room. "Time to get burned!"

Starlow had been watching the battle unfold in silence, but as Bowser started charging up a massive fireblast, she decided to risk blowing her cover and popped out in front of the Bros. with a ghost body of her own. "That sounds bad! You two guys have to jump and grab me!" Mario obediently grabbed onto the Star Sprite circling above him and Luigi seized his brother's boots just as Bowser cut loose with his flames, but the attack passed harmlessly beneath the trio. Had they not all been illusions. Starlow knew she couldn't have lifted that much weight, but she was betting that the Bros. didn't know that, and either way, she couldn't risk them getting his by Bowser's fire.

Unlike the random enemies Bowser had inhaled here and there on his journey, when Mario and Luigi fought anything _outside_ of his body, all it did was drain them of the energy Starlow had stored within their wandering illusions. The less fighting, the better, and now they were up against Bowser himself. It was not good: even though he was still their host, they couldn't convert his energy when they were disconnected from him – once the fire or the kinetic energy of his punches left his being, it became just as foreign and unusable as any other enemy's energy. The physical attacks and the minion assaults were bad enough, but a blast of energy as volatile as Bowser's firebreath could wreak havoc with the astral projections: no matter what, Starlow had to make sure that move never hit.

And luck was on her side, for not only did she allow the Mario Bros to dodge the attack, but she did it without raising anyone's suspicions. As she had hoped, the Bros. had no idea that a Star Sprite wasn't normally as strong as Starlow appeared to be in that instance, and Bowser was too distracted to recognize her voice. Breathing a sigh of relief, she popped back into nothingness once Mario and Luigi had their feet back on the ground, although she wouldn't be able to relax fully until the battle was over and they could get away from the loose cannon named King Koopa and the prying mind's eye of Dr. Toadley.

Bowser scowled when he saw that his attack missed. He had seen the annoying Star Sprite pop out of Mario's hammerspace but hadn't paid attention to whatever she chattered at the plumbers, and then his flame had been so large, he didn't see her lifting the Bros. out of the way until it was too late to try and redirect the blast. Now it was going to take a few moments to charge his flame back up, and so he simply charged at Mario once more, but the plumber ducked under his lunge and pulled out a Fire Flower. Luigi did the same and in an instant, Bowser found himself in a hail of fireballs.

_So that's how they wanna play it? _Bowser narrowed his eyes and with a wave of his hand, called for any Goomba still standing to come to his aid. Mario and Luigi knew that using their fireballs would just turn the Goombas themselves into flaming projectiles and simply tried to dodge the waves of enemies, but there were a surprisingly large amount of the minions still willing and able to fight and the Bros. were overwhelmed, both losing their fire powers while Bowser laughed on the sidelines. Getting cocky, he started setting the Goombas aflame again, instead of letting them come around for subsequent runs at the plumbers, but his human rivals knew what to expect this time and recovering fast from their power-down, used their hammers to block the Goomba Storm.

Bowser roared as he was battered with charred Goombas once more, and not giving the Bros. another chance to deal damage, he unleashed another massive flare, but Starlow was too quick. Bowser tried to turn and follow the airborne Bros., but they leapt from the Star Sprite and two boots to the face brought Bowser's fireblast to a sudden end. He charged at them once more, one after the other, but neither punch landed. Bowser was getting mad. He was getting sloppy. He was getting tired. And the Bros. were pulling out more Fire Flowers.

Bowser decided not to give them a chance to use the items, and called forth the Shy Guys as he used a spell to magically expand his shell and let him curl into a ball. Starlow groaned to herself as the Shy Guys used a rope to send Bowser slingshotting around the room: energetically costly moves like _this_ were the last thing Bowser should be doing, and while she supposed it'd hasten the end of the battle, she was worried that her Dragon-Koopa host was pushing himself too far. Mario and Luigi wouldn't win in the long run if Bowser's energy ran so low that Starlow couldn't use him to sustain the illusions and the souls inside him anymore. She just hoped the stubborn Koopa King would hurry up and lose already: the sooner he stopped burning through his energy, the sooner the Mario Bros. stopped doing the same.

After all, Bowser wasn't the _only_ one using expensive attacks. Since the Bros. weren't corporeal, they weren't actually using Fire Flowers to power their special moves: they were using the energy that made up their ghostly bodies themselves. The only reason it manifested as their regular fireballs was because they were expecting fireballs. In fact, if they wanted to, the Bros, could use any of the skills afforded to them by any power-up they had ever used at any time, but knowing that they'd drain themselves dry rather quickly that way, Starlow kept it a secret. Instead, she let them think they were using a limited number of stockpiled power ups, adjusting the projections accordingly to make them look like their regular Fire Mario and Fire Luigi forms, or any other form they might choose to use. She was just glad they hadn't had any Invincibility Stars in their hammerspace when the while fiasco began: reproducing _those_ effects would be worse than _constant_ usage of Fire Flowers or rolling spells – combined.

Fortunately, Bowser's rolling came to an end after a particularly strong backswing from Mario's hammer sent him barreling into the Shy Guys at top speed. The rope flew free of their arms as they tumbled back into the hallway, letting Bowser grind to a halt in their midst. "You're all useless!" he spat as he uncurled, feeling his back cracking painfully. The Bros. may not have been able to do any damage with their fireballs when Bowser was in his shell, but their hammers sure did a number – it'd be a while before Bowser would be able to pull of _that_ move again.

He stormed back out into the room, past the dazed Shy Guys and cowering, battered Goombas. They were done fighting, but Bowser wasn't, and met the Mario Bros. head on as they cut loose with another volley of fireballs. As the pain clouded his head, Bowser considered asking Chippy for a power up. But looking through the spinning flames at the heroic humans he despised with every fiber of his body, Bowser found his resolve. No, he didn't need Chippy's help – he'd take Mario and Luigi down on his own. He had been on a winning streak, and it wasn't over yet.

Roaring, he matched the plumbers' flames with his own, catching them by surprise. Starlow popped out to try and grab them, but she was too slow and they were engulfed. Fortunately Bowser hadn't charged up this latest flare and the power wasn't overwhelming, although Starlow still knew to drop the Fire Flower effects from the illusion. But even without their fancy, energetic moves, Starlow knew the Bros. were more than capable of taking Bowser down. She watched from above as Bowser charged at the Bros. through the last licks of flame, but shaking off the after-effects of being burned, they nimbly leapt out of the way.

Pulling out a green shell now, they started kicking it back and forth, ricocheting it off the angry Dragon-Koopa, who hollered at his minions to help him. But only a few Goombas heeded his call and he set them aflame the moment they stepped into range. Letting the green shell spin away, Mario and Luigi turned their attention skyward and pulled out their hammers, sending every last Goomba flying towards the Koopa King. Bowser staggered backwards with each blow, flames licking his lips as he growled in pain and rage. Swatting the last Goomba away, he clenched his fists to counter attack, but the Bros. were already on the move, and Bowser's eyes opening wide as he saw Mario and Luigi flying feet-first towards him from above. There was no time to duck.


	37. A Cure

**A/N****: At this point, about half the script has been novelized, and I'm trying to get a decent amount of writing in every day, the goal being to have daily updates all week as a sort of countdown to the PAL release of **_**Mario & Luigi: Dream Team**_**. I had originally hoped to get the story **_**done**_** before the next game came out, but alas, this project's taken a lot longer than I had anticipated. Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and reviewing the story so far: your wonderful feedback helps keep me going. I hope you'll continue to share your thoughts as we enter the second half of the story, and of course, I'd love to hear from any new readers too! But most all, I hope everyone will continue to enjoy this novelization of **_**Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story**_**.**

* * *

Chapter 37: A Cure

The sound of boots on skull cracked through the air, followed by the thud of a body hitting the ground. Mario and Luigi silently landed on the carpet in front of Bowser's sprawled form, watching impassively as he fought for consciousness. "Still…don't have... my…A game…" he groaned, only a sliver of white visible between his eyelids as his eyes rolled back into his head, his voice growing quieter. "So…very…weak…"

Starlow felt Bowser lapse into unconsciousness, but it was clear to everyone in the room that the Koopa King was down for the count. The Goombas strewn around the room slowly pulled themselves up, eyeing the Mario Bros. and the Star Sprite hovering high above them as they made their way towards the door. Starlow was rather surprised none of the Koopa Troop members moved to help Bowser, or at least drag him off – instead, they simply stole away down the shadowy hallway, leaving their fallen king to the mercy of the Mario Bros.

_Nice minions_, frowned Starlow, but lest she started feeling pity for Bowser, she hastily reminded herself that if he wasn't such a crappy king, always dragging his troops into unwinnable battles, they probably wouldn't be so quick to forsake him. Still, part of her couldn't help but feel bad for the Dragon-Koopa, and in order to silence that pesky voice, she turned her attention to the Toads.

The nurse had come to her senses soon after Bowser's rampage began and had hurried to Dr. Toadley side. He had come to shortly before the Mario Bros. defeated Bowser, and with his intern's help, was stiffly walking back to the table that held his crystal ball. "Was that something? Yes, it was," he remarked to himself, looking over at the three combatants. The energy conditions afflicting the Dragon-Koopa and the pair of humans certainly hadn't dampened their fighting spirits, and the Bros. looked no worse for the wear as they walked up to Toadley.

"Now that _that's_ over, we need to talk to you – it's very urgent," said Starlow.

"And it's not about-a us," said Mario.

"Or-a Bowser," added Luigi.

"It's about the Blorbs," continued Starlow. "We were wondering if you've made any progress with a cure."

The nurse's face fell. "Oh. I'm afraid we-"

But Toadley held up a silencing hand, his dark eyes still studying his three guests. "Is that why you came? Perhaps on the surface. Is there another matter you are concerned about? Yes. Will my powers help you find an answer? Only if you ask the question."

Starlow eyed the doctor warily. "What are you-"

"That's not the question. I have sensed a disturbance. Many disturbances…" He eyed the two Bros. once more, as well as the Dragon-Koopa behind them, but with a small sigh, he resolved to let the matter go. Surely the Star Sprite would keep a handle on whatever was affecting the Bros., and the Koopa King was tough: he'd survive. And while Toadley hated giving up on a puzzle, he knew there were more pressing matters to attend to at that moment, and turned to his intern. "However… Are these disturbances of a sensitive, _secret_ nature? They are."

The nurse suppressed a sigh of her own. She hated being left out of the loop, and wished Toadley would trust her more, but he was a mage and she was not, and she was getting used to him cutting her out of his business like that. At least she knew he kept her in the know when it came to medical matters, and maybe someday, he'd let her know about the more mystical aspects of his work as well, but for now, she took the hint and excused herself from the room. She was probably needed out front anyway: Bowser and his troops storming through the clinic probably didn't go down well with the patients in the waiting area.

As the nurse left, Starlow and Toadley sized each other up. The Star Sprite recalled what Toad had told her at the meeting the day before: "_He's a really famous doctor. He knows EVERYTHING._" Well, she doubted Toadley knew _everything_, but he had come close to seeing through her illusion, and while most of his face was hidden behind his veil, she could see that his expression was grave. Perhaps he knew that the Dark Star was free of its prison. _Well, only one way to find out._

"You're right, there _is_ something going on besides the Blorbs," said Starlow once the intern was out of earshot. "A few somethings, actually. An old enemy of Mario and Luigi's has returned – he's taken over Bowser's army, captured Mushroom Castle, kidnapped Peach, and worst of all, he's trying to use her to awaken the Dark Star!"

The Doctor closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "I see. So that is the reason you have come to me. If nothing is done, will the Mushroom Kingdom fall? It will."

"We heard word that you know all there is to know about the Mushroom Kingdom," said Starlow, deciding to change her original 'we're just here for Blorbs news' story to stay on the doctor's good side. Mages were a fickle breed, and while he was indeed a Toad, not a Shaman, she could sense that he didn't hold the Stars in the same reverie as most of his kind. She would have to tread carefully as she asked for his help. "We were hoping you might know how to break down the barriers at Peach's Castle…"

Toadley looked at her and then back at the Bros., throwing his head back and laughing. "Hahahaha!" He continued his cackling as he turned away from the group. "Heeheehee! Whoahohohoho! Hohohohohoho!"

Starlow, Luigi and Mario stared in shock as the doctor finally quieted down, but before Starlow had a chance to snap at him for mocking her request for information, Toadley spun around.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" he boomed, pointing into the air for added drama and causing the Bros. to jump back in surprise. "Is there anything I don't know? No. The answer to that is no." Of course, the real answer was 'yes' – there were a lot of things he didn't know, but admitting that would be no _fun_. "However! All my skills and magic powers are for naught in the face of certain realities…" _And so are the Star Sprites's powers_, he added to himself, shooting her a knowing glance before continuing. "Those barriers are absolutely, TOTALLY un-knock-downable… Because of whose power? The Dark Star! The Dark Star!"

"Boy… Way to put a gloomy spin on things…" frowned Starlow. She could read between the lines of what Toadley was saying: he was poking fun at her, treating her like she was naïve and needed to be told she was up against forces she couldn't stop. As if she didn't know things were bad and the Dark Star severely outmatched her – who did this mortal sage think he was to lecture _her_? She had half a mind to rip him a new one right then and there, but instead, she swallowed her pride and kept her mind focused on the things that _really_ mattered about the situation at hand. "The way things stand, we can't get anywhere near the castle… And the fate of the kingdom teeters on the brink…"

Toadley was impressed. Most of the young Stars he had met over the years were quite quick to fly off the handle when they felt insulted. Smiling behind his veil, he decided to play nice and turned towards Starlow. "Is it too early to give up? It indubitably is. I lack the power to break the blockade, that is true. But does the crystal hold another message? It does."

"It does?"

Toadley turned back to the crystal ball, staring into its smoky depths for a moment before crying out: "STAR CURES!"

"Star Cures?" Starlow had never heard of such a thing.

"Star… Star Cures…" murmured Toadley as he called up the image that had come to him that morning in a vision. "Three Star Cures…" Three blown glass spheres containing yellow, green and red stars: concentrated energy from eras past. "Three sages hold three Star Cures… They'll cure all the world's ills…"

"So all we have to do is find these three Cures?!" said Starlow, daring to let herself grow hopeful. "Can the Cures destroy the Dark Star, as well?"

"Silence." Toadley couldn't resist the urge to lord over the Star once more. It wasn't every day that a mage had a vision of this importance, and rarer still to have a Star in need of that knowledge. But as well as a mage, Toadley was also a doctor, and he hadn't forgotten his duties to the people of Toad Town. "First, the Blorbs that assail the Mushroom Kingdom… The Star Cures are the only means to stopping the Blorbs." Stars have a habit of forgetting the little people once something big comes along, and while this sprite _had_ taken a moment from her Dark Star problem to ask him about the Blorbs earlier, he figured it wouldn't hurt to remind her that there would be more than one use of the artifacts in his vision. His point made, he then continued. "And with the three Star Cures, surely you will have power… The power to break the castle blockade? I believe so. Will they help you destroy the Dark Star? I do not know. But one thing is crystal clear. You must get the Star Cures."

"They'll cure the Blorbs?! We've gotta get them!" said Starlow. Part of her wondered if the cures would have enough power to destroy the Dark Star if they didn't use part of their energy on the Blorbs first, but she pushed that thought aside as soon as it reared its ugly head. She had been sent to help cure the Blorbs, and while she had somehow found herself mixed up with far bigger problems, she wasn't going to forget her original mission, and she wasn't going to forsake the Toads that so gravely need a cure. "So where?" she asked Toadley. "Where are the Star Cures?"

"There are three sages. There are three cures. Each holds one," explained Toadley.

_He already said that_, huffed Starlow to herself, but she knew better than to let her impatience show. "OK, right! Gotcha!" _And moving on…_ "Where are the sages?"

Toadley looked back into the crystal. The Star Cures faded from sight and were soon replaced by a new image, this one of trees and a hazy green sky. "A vision emerges! One is likely in a forest!"

"A forest…" Starlow frowned. There were _a lot_ of forests in the Mushroom Kingdom: Toad Town itself was surrounded by forests. But only one was wreathed in fog _that_ thick every morning. "Dimble Wood!"

"MWAHAHA!" Starlow and the Mario Bros. whirled around to see that Bowser was on his feet again. Starlow had been so focused on her dealings with Toadley that she hadn't even sensed her energy host waking up. Bowser was still rather scuffed up from the battle, but he shot the group a toothy, sinister grin as he spoke. "That's all I needed to hear, baby! So I just need to grab three Star Cures?!"

"What? YOU can't find them!" said Starlow in disgust. Bowser, the evil King of the Koopas getting his grubby hands on extremely powerful Star energy artifacts? The mere thought was offensive. "You know Mario and Luigi will find all three!"

"Aw, cry more, you big baby!" snarled Bowser. "You're just ticking me off! You're about as annoying as that Chippy thing in my gut!" He snorted: Stars and their petty, uppity righteousness rally pissed him off. At least Chippy's snarky attitude was balanced out by actual helpfulness: this squirt was just 'tude. She even sounded a bit like Chippy... A _lot_ like Chippy… But that was probably just a coincidence and Bowser shrugged it off. "Well, whatever. OK. Chumps! Mario! Green 'Stache! Nice guys finish last! I'm getting those three cures and taking Peach's Castle!" _And saving the princess_, he smirked to himself as turned his back on the others and hurried down the hallway.

Starlow rolled her eyes, but she and the Bros. knew that Bowser was no long-distance speedster, so they didn't bother chasing after him. In fact, letting him get a head start would be more than worth it if they got any extra info out of lingering behind, and she turned back to Toadley. "Hey! What sort of person is the first sage, anyway?"

The doctor turned his head sideways, his usually severe expression being replaced by an apologetic look. "Hmm… Yes, indeed… That would take a lot of explaining…"

Starlow frowned. Star Sages took strange forms sometimes, but surely it couldn't be _that_ hard to describe – especially not to another Star being.

"I'm sure we'll-a know the sage when we see them," said Mario, looking up at Starlow.

"You're right," agreed Starlow: _she'd_ certainly sense their identity, at any rate. "Let's just head to Dimble Wood."

Mario and Luigi jumped in agreement, but just as the three turned to leave, Toadley called out. "Wait! It emerges!" The Bros. and Starlow turned back to the doctor and his crystal ball. "An image emerges! Look! Is this the first sage? It most certainly is!"

Catching sight of the teal, Birdo-snouted worm in the crystal ball, Mario and Luigi both gasped.

"That's the bug from-a Bowser's body!" exclaimed Mario, turning to Starlow.

"What? That's the… creature we battled inside Bowser's body?" Starlow looked back at the crystal, scarce believing her eyes, but sure enough, it was the same bug as before. Durmite. "Oh… Really? Huh…" Starlow's mind was whirling: slowly the pieces started coming together. She had sensed something about the little worm when Bowser had been crunched by the castle. It – _no, not it, SHE_, Starlow reminded herself – had been Starlow's beacon in the storm of destabilizing energy. She knew Durmite couldn't have been an ordinary insect, and while she would never have guessed her little savior was a Star Sage of all things, it now made perfect sense. _Perfect sense._ But she had to make sure the Bros. didn't get suspicious if she accepted such an outrageous idea as a bug being a Sage so easily: they didn't know how close they had all come to dying when Bowser was crushed, and how instrumental their invertebrate friend had been in saving their collective skins. "OK, yeah! I remember!" chirped Starlow. "It ran off after we beat it, didn't it? That thing is a Sage?"

"Has the crystal ever been wrong? It certainly has not. The bug is indeed one of the Sages, of that I am sure. How sure am I that it has one of the Cures? 100% sure." Huffed Dr. Toadley defensively.

"But it's not in the forest at all! It's inside Bowser's body!" shouted Starlow, zooming right up to the startled doctor, her chipper demeanor abruptly shattering as the full extent of the situation dawned on her. Yes, it made sense that Durmite was a Star Sage, but it raised the question of why she hadn't contacted Starlow, or why she had gone so far as to _attack_ the Star Sprite and her companions – _the_ Super Mario Bros., the heroes of the Mushroom World! As if Wisdurm's evasiveness and Chakron's enigmatic meddling hadn't been irritating enough – now Starlow was being ignored by Star Sages who were trapped in Bowser's ether right there with her. No, it wasn't irritating, it was _infuriating_, and with no Stars there to bear the brunt of her fury, Starlow found herself venting at Toadley. "Bowser ate it in Dimble Wood and now it's in Bowser's body! That crystal of yours is totally off the mark!"

The doctor bristled at Starlow's inflamed accusations. He supposed the Star could only be civil for so long before the usual arrogance of her heavenly race bubbled bck to the surface – and suppressing it for so long created a bit of a pressure buildup, it seemed. Jumping with his own anger, Toadley spat out a retort. "Are you an expert in crystal reading? You are not. Are you out of your league? You are." Like before, his words were loaded: Starlow was up against the Dark Star, and it was not a wise move to antagonize the one being who knew how she could even _get_ to the awakening evil. As Starlow continued to fume, Toadley continued. "Was the bug in the forest? It was. And that means the crystal speaks the truth. Moreover, now that you know the sage's true location, you will beat Bowser to the punch!"

Hoping to diffuse the situation, Luigi jumped to get the others' attention. "More like Bowser's not-a in the running at all: he can't get something that's-a-inside him already."

Forcing herself to calm down, Starlow floated back over to the Bros. "Oh yeah… I guess that's true. It's pretty lucky that the first sage is inside Bowser's body! We can just head back inside and grab the Star Cure from that bug-sage thing!" As long as the Sage cooperated this time and handed it over, the two Stars would be able to keep complete control over the Cure, and it'd never have to link with Bowser's filthy energy. As the three hurried down the hallway without even a parting word to the helpful fortune-telling doctor, Starlow couldn't help but shudder at the thought of the Cure being corrupted by Bowser's black soul. Yes, it was very lucky indeed.

Watching them go, Toadley sighed. He supposed a Star Sage being inside Bowser could have been part of what he had sensed – perhaps its attempts to hide from him was what had been clouding his vision. But Starlow's words echoed in his head: "_the creature we battled inside Bowser's body … we can just head back inside_". Perhaps it wasn't just the echo of Bros.' energies he sensed within Bowser – were Mario, Luigi and their angry Star friend actually _inside_ Bowser? But how was that possible? How would they have gotten in? How would they have gotten out? Were they eaten like the Sage apparently was? No, that didn't make sense at all. And how could they have gotten out? The questions Toadley was asking himself weren't rhetorical this time, and he didn't have the answers. He didn't like not having the answers.

Hanging his head to the side, he heaved another sigh. "Is it annoying that I got mixed up in this? It is."


	38. Fickle Worm

Chapter 38: Fickle Worm

"There was-a Warp Pipe near the clinic wasn't there? We should see if that-a leads to the tunnels," said Mario as they walked back through the clinic.

"Oh yeah, and the Pipe to-a Bowser," agreed Luigi, nodding to the nurse as she wished them luck from behind the counter, having gotten the other patients calmed down a couple minutes previously. The poor boy in the front was still shaking his head and muttering to himself, but he had been like that before the hullaballoo with the Koopas, so she was just going to let him be until the doctor could fix his memory problems. But just as she was getting ready to show him in, Toadley's voice came over the intercom. "Nurse, should you cancel all my appointments until further notice? You should."

"But Dr. Toadley, these Toads-"

"Are we in a crisis? Yes. Are there… certain… mysteries I must solve? There are. Will I be unable to concentrate on anything else until the mysteries have been solved? I will most certainly not."

The intern 's shoulders sagged as the com went dead, and she looked forlornly at the door that had already swung closed behind the departing plumbers. _The sooner the Mario Bros. fix this latest crisis, the better,_ she sighed to herself.

On the other side of the door, Mario and Luigi watched as Bowser punched straight through a cluster of barricades and stormed off to the east. Walking up to where the barricades had been, Mario scowled at the wall where the Warp Pipe should have sat waiting for him.

"I guess they-a blocked it up as part of the mall-a renovation," mused Luigi, wondering if they'd get rid of the Warp Pipe leading down to the tunnels down at the bottom of the hill too.

Mario stepped closer to the wall. The work had only just been done – and a hasty job at that. There was already a huge crack in the wall as the loose brickwork settled incorrectly. Knowing they'd have to redo it anyway, he pulled out his hammer, and before Luigi had a chance to talk him out of it, Mario had smashed the wall open.

Starlow knew the Warp Pipe was dead, but the fight with Bowser had eaten up a lot of the energy ghosts' power, and the sooner the Bros. linked back up with their host, the better, so rather than making them go back down to the caves, Starlow quickly spun a new illusion.

"Huh? Hey, look at this pipe…" she said, pulling up her astral projection as the Bros. looked at the uncovered amber-coloured Warp Pipe. "It's like the one in Bowser! How lucky! We can move on!" She turned to her right and watched as Bowser himself lumbered out of sight. "Seems as though Bowser is headed for Dimble Wood… He has no idea the sage with the Star Cure is inside him." _And it's gonna stay that way,_ she smirked to herself as she looked back at the Bros "Well, let's go in!"

Mario looked back at Luigi, who jumped to show his approval of the plan, and as Starlow pretended to enter Mario's hammerspace once more, they jumped onto the Pipe and their minds were transported back into the hammerspace of the Koopa King. Starlow never appreciated being an energy parasite as much as she did at that moment: while creating full illusions took the same amount of brain power as the astral projections, being able to use Bowser's energy directly, instead of running everything autonomously was far less exhausting. And less stressful, as there was no longer a countdown to energy depletion hanging over her head as the Bros. took their sweet time wandering about.

But Starow wasn't given long to rest, as no sooner had the Bros. exited the amber pipe than Durmite exited a broken red one nearby. It was as if she had been waiting for them. Catching sight of the worm, Mario and Luigi quickly hopped off the Warp Pipe. The red-clad plumber started creeping towards the bug, but she saw him coming and began to crawl away, only for Luigi to circle around and jump between her and the exit. They both took a couple more steps towards the corralled creature, before lunging at the same time, but Durmite merely sprang up and out of harm's way as the Bros. slid into one another with a crack and lay in a daze, Durmite alighting square on top of Mario's cap.

"WAIT!" screamed Starlow, popping into the illusion before things got out of hand. Durmite may have decided not to talk to her before, but now that the secret was out, surely she'd be reasonable – why else would she have made it so easy to find her? "You're the first Sage, right? We need to talk to you!"

But impassive to Starlow's plea, Durmite turn and sprang off Mario, headed for the passageway out of the Pipe Yard.

"WAIT!" called Starlow to no avail. It looked like the Bros. had the right idea after all: they were going to have to do this the hard way. "Mario! Luigi! Get it together! Follow that bug!" She hurried after Durmite, extending her illusion far beyond the exit to make sure the Sage couldn't escape into the ether.

Behind her, Mario jumped to his feet with a "Woo hoo!" He paused and looked around the abandoned Pipe Yard before turning and looking back down at his brother. "Luigi!" he called.

"Hah!" the man in green sprang up as well, and the two ran after Starlow and Durmite. The worm sped through the passageway between the various areas of Bowser's body. Starlow tried to herd her into a couple specific areas, but the bug just kept going and eventually forced itself into the Energy Hold.

The area was one of the illusions Starlow had decided to bank in case she ever needed it, drawing on Toadbert's imaginary body spelunking for the design. But as the frisky worm jumped from one stepping stone to another across a pool of bubbling goo, Starlow wished she hadn't planned so far ahead. The Bros. used their spin jump to stay on Durmite's tail, but before long she had hopped up a hill and slipped under a fence of green Boo-faced blocks. Mario landed on the narrow ledge before the blocks but Luigi came up short and fell into the bubbling pool below.

"Ahohohoh!" cried Luigi as he sank into the mire, but Mario was paying more attention to Durmite as she hopped away. Starlow also ignored Luigi's plight as she entered the illusion. To her frustration, Durmite had done something to the area: those Boo blocks weren't the Star Sprite's doing, and she couldn't clear the path. Now she _really_ wished she hadn't tried planning ahead.

"Aw, it got away…" Starlow sighed, forgetting to use the proper pronoun in her frustration. "There's gotta be a way past this barrier…" she grumbled.

"Hmm," hummed Mario as he and Starlow contemplated the strange blocks. Behind them, Luigi had swum over to the edge of the pool and was hauling himself out of the mire.

After a moment of trying to retake control of the hijacked illusion, Starlow sighed in defeat and backed up from the barrier, looking sadly down at Mario. "But it's beyond us now. Until Dr. Toadley finds out the location of the other Sages, we should stick around this area. There's no way Bowser can get the Star Cure first anyway…" She just hoped Durmite would come back on her own accord sooner or later: if a mortal like Dr. Toadley could have sensed the Dark Star's emerging powers, surely a Star Sage, even one stuck inside Bowser, could feel it too. Surely she'd realize that the Cure in her position would be necessary to save the world.

Behind Starlow Luigi was jumping back up the hill, but Mario was taking up too much of the ledge and Luigi came up short again, his feet slipping off the squishy, rounded edge of the precipice and sending him falling back into the mire with a plaintive "Ohhh…"


	39. Troops Come, Troops Go

Chapter 39: Troops Come, Troops Go

As Bowser marched down Toadley's hall, he couldn't help but notice the lack of minions. The Mario Bros. were still standing around yammering with the doctor when Bowser came to, so surely he hadn't been out for too long. Just long enough for the ungrateful little snots to abandon him, apparently. Had Mario and Luigi been cannier men, they could have used that opportunity to put Bowser in chains and throw him behind bars. If they were wickeder men, they could have _beheaded_ the downed Dragon-Koopa right then and there and it'd _really_ be the end of Bowser's story.

That was one of the advantages of being a bad guy: your nemeses were often too obsessed with right and wrong to resort to the death penalty. Of course, killing their enemies on the battlefield was another matter for some reason, but thanks to his Dragon-Koopa durability and his unique Near Immortality, it'd take a mightily lucky blow for Mario to finish him in one of their chaotic showdowns. He'd need to start using a broad sword, or somehow arrange for a building to fall on ol' Bowser and hope it managed to hit the right way so as to decapitate him or crack his shell bad enough so that he couldn't be dug out in time to staunch the energy flow. As if _that'd_ ever happen.

Of course, just because Mario wouldn't kill Bowser in his sleep didn't make the Koopa any less peeved that his troops would forsake him. _He_ was the one who freed them and was trying to liberate their castle and stop Fawful from taking over the world that was rightfully theirs, after all. Well, rightfully _Bowser's_, at any rate, but as his minions, even though they weren't Koopas, they'd benefit too. Even the screams of the Toads in the waiting room didn't cheer Bowser up as he stalked out of the clinic. Blinking in the pale morning sunlight, he paused to look around. More screaming Toads scattered at the sight of the Koopa King, including a crew that had apparently just finished boarding up that broken Warp Pipe next to the clinic that Bowser had been complaining about earlier, but again, no sign of any Goombas or Shy Guys.

"Typical," growled Bowser. "Useless, faithless _cowards!_" Crossing his arms and glaring at the Blorbed Toads dotting the hillside 'mall', Bowser wondered why he even cared if the Goombas got sick too. It's not like they were overly useful to start with – half of them ended up just hurting _him_ thanks to the Mario Bros.' stupidly fast reflexes. Of course, a couple Goombas _did_ manage to deal damage to the plumbers too – which is more than Bowser could say about the Shy Guy Squad.

_Well, sulking about it isn't going to do me any good, _Bowser told himself, turning and setting of eastwards, smashing away the barriers the Toads had put up in front of the derelict Warp Pipe cover-up as he went. Once outside the mall area, Bowser paused for another moment, before deciding there was no point checking on the barrier if the witch doctor or whatever he was said only the Star Cures could clear the path. Having been raised by Kamek, Bowser knew not to question those sorts of visions. So instead, Bowser turned south and headed for the city gates.

"It's Buh-BOWSER!" screeched the Toads that were supposedly standing guard outside Toad Town, fleeing into the woods next to the small stream that ran just south of the city. Bowser smirked: he _did_ like to hear them scream his name.

Continuing past the trees and into a clearing, Bowser hadn't gone far before he was forced to stop in his tracks to let out a massive sneeze. "ACHOOOOO!" Fortunately it was a dry sneeze – being covered in a spray of snot would have likely turned Bowser's mood sour all over again. Instead, he waved it off. "Little tickle in the old schnoz… Probably Chippy or something!" But just as long as she was being quiet, Bowser didn't care what she was up to, and with a shrug, decided to focus on his own task at hand. "Hmph! Time to get that Star Cure before Mario! Which way to Dimble Wood?"

Looking around, he could see that he was on the north shore of a lake – Blubble Lake, he reminded himself. That meant that Dimble Wood was on the far side of the lake, to the southeast, beyond that one mountain that loomed over the whole area. It looked like it was going to be just as long a walk as the day before, and it was almost mid-morning already. Bowser looked around, hoping perhaps a Chakroad would suddenly appear, but all he saw was a lavish-looking house and one of Broque's shop blocks. Figuring it was high time for some more grub, Bowser walked over to the block and had Broque send over some spicy chicken. He also had one of the ion treatments to wash away all the lingering effects of Bowser's ill-fated battle with the Mario Bros.

He still wasn't looking forward to the long walk ahead of him, but with his belly full and his body feeling fully recharged, Bowser then set off along the shores of Blubble Lake. To his chagrin, the terrain was too rocky to take the northern route, so he headed south, figuring he could make it to Plack Beach and retrace his route from the day before. The fields around Blubble Lake were abandoned save for walking trees with honeycombs for faces; these Beehoss would even spit out smaller flying bee-like blocks of living honeybomb to attack Bowser when he came too near, but they were still no match for the Koopa King. Bowser even discovered that by using his vacuum powers, he could suck globs of honey right out of the enemy without even having to get too close to them. It was tasty stuff.

Bowser was still licking the sweet, sticky aftermath of his latest fight off his snout when he heard something other than the buzzing of bees or the chirping of the grasshopper-like Fawfloppers hiding in the grass.

"You guys hear footsteps?"

"Could it be Bowser?"

Bowser stopped cold in his tracks and called out to the voices that seemed to be coming from beyond the ridge ahead of him. "Who's that?"

"It's us, sir! Your Koopa Troopa unit!" The explanation was soon followed by the sound of happy Koopas – they'd recognized that growl anywhere.

"King Bowser!"

"Your Awesomeness!"

Bowser grinned: looks like wouldn't have to do without minions after all. "Behind this rock wall, huh…" he mused aloud as he walked right up to the ridge and tried punching through the nearest boulders to no avail. "Man! Too hard!" he grumbled.

Meanwhile, the Koopas were still chattering away. "We're getting evacked, guys! Bowser's here for us!"

"He can't get through that wall, though, can he?"

"Belay that talk, soldier! Bowser can break anything!"

"Hey yeah, you're right! That's why he's the king!"

"Darn skippy! Bowser rules!"

Hearing his minions' praise, Bowser laughed out loud even as he struggled to stifle a sneeze. "AH... GAHH… GWAHAHA! Ahh… Of course I'll break it! This wall's going DOWN, baby!"

"Of course you will, sir! That's our King Bowser!" chirped a Koopa, and the troops then started chanting their leader's name.

"KING BOW-SER!"

"KING BOW-SER!"

Now _those_ were the sort of minions Bowser liked. Who needed Goombas and Shy Guys when you had Koopas at your side. Of course, Bowser still needed to _get_ them to his side, but sobering up, he realized there was no way he could break through the wall himself. "Crud! I've gotta hit this thing with something big, or no dice… Scratch that-something HUGE… Guess I'd better go looking…"

Leaving the caged minions to their burbling excitement over the impending rescue, Bowser headed back up along the shore. He knocked over a few large rocks, but it wasn't until he came upon a large black iron ball right on the shoreline that he thought he found something he could use. However, when he tried to punch the ball free of its post, it merely whipped around and knocked Bowser clean off his feet and into the lake.

Blubble Lake was one of the areas in the Mushroom World where the water possessed magical properties that made it possible for land-dwellers to breathe under the surface. And, while he didn't particularly like swimming, Bowser decided that it might be worth exploring the lakebed to see if there were any loose iron balls or even anchors lying around, but aside from some Crawfuls (clumsy, anthropomorphic, Fawfulized alligators with removable teeth), there wasn't much to be found underwater.

But Bowser's luck changed as soon as he had hopped up onto a sandbar in the middle of the lake and found himself next to the stern end of an old ship that had run around. _Huh? A ship?_ Bowser looked up at the wreck, the gears in his head slowly turning. _If I punched that ship… it could break that wall!_ His mind made up, Bowser tried to climb aboard, but the ship was too large, and while an abandoned Squid Fit raft let him get close, he wasn't able to climb up its slippery, rotting hull. Craning his neck, he could see a nice solid hill appearing to lead straight up to the deck at the bow of the ship, and figured his best bet would be to use the raft to surf around to it.

And that's exactly what he did, soon hopping off the raft and onto the portion of the sandbar ahead of the boat. As he walked up the hill, he noted that while much of the wood at this end of the ship was in as sorry a sate as the stern, with the bowsprit even being completely snapped off, the mainsail was miraculously intact. _Must've been charmed_, thought Bowser, who himself had the sails on all _his_ own wooden airships enchanted to last against the elements.

Bowser was soon distracted from his appraisal of the aged vessel by the pair of large, red and yellow flowers at the top of the hill. "Smells weird…" he commented aloud, sniffing at the pollen-filled air. "Actually… Smells kinda good…" he recanted, leaning closer to the flowers.

Starlow couldn't smell the flowers, but she _could_ sense the pollen getting sucked straight through Bowser's nose and clean into his hammerspace. There was no way Bowser was doing that on purpose and the Star Sprite was instantly on high alert, fearing that the Vacuum Block that Broque had given the Koopa was malfunctioning and the powers of the Vacuum Shroom were starting to go out of control again. But nothing else about Bowser's energy suggested there was something amiss, and on a hunch, Starlow shifted her attention to the pollen itself.

_Ah-hah!_ Starlow inwardly sighed with relief as she immediately realized what was really going on. _He's smelling Gold Flowers! No wonder he's just sitting around like a zombie…_ Indeed, Bowser had almost completely forgot about his quest to the free the Koopa Troopas, and was instead standing in the cloud of pollen sucking in breath after breath of the delicious aroma. It wasn't his fault: Gold Flowers were renowned for their euphoria-inducing smell. In ages past, they had been so highly sought after by perfume makers and aristocracy that they had virtually disappeared from the wild. Blubble Lake had once been famous for its Gold Flowers and the aromatic honey made from their nectar by the bees and Beehoss, but now the flowers only grew in secluded offshore islets and anyone caught flying or swimming out and tampering with them was severely punished. Obviously Bowser hadn't gotten the memo, but Starlow was actually thankful for it, for their smell wasn't the only thing special about Gold Flowers: the nectar and pollen they produced had magical properties as well.

Just as the honey from the Beehoss had healing properties thanks to even the limited amount of Gold Flowers nectar their bees could collect offshore, so too did the pollen now flooding Bowser's hammerspace contain energy ripe for the using. It was extremely good timing: Bowser hadn't put much thought into how he'd actually get the ship to ram into the rock wall in his way, but monitoring his progress, Starlow had been pondering the issue for him. Now she had her answer: if she used the pollen as a boost, she had a feeling she could momentarily reverse Bowser's sucking powers and use the blast of wind to blow the ship clear of the sandbar and free it for use against the rocky shoreline. Of course, while she would be riffing off the powers granted to Bowser by the Vacuum Shroom, nothing from his hammerspace would come shooting out as a result of the inversion of his sucking ability – and a good thing too, because even with the pollen, Starlow knew she couldn't control an energy event of _that_ magnitude and it'd simply result in everyone destabilizing and dying.

No, all she wanted was the wind, and lest Bowser came to his senses and backed out of the pollen haze, Starlow quickly collected the Mario Bros. from the Energy Hold and brought them to a new area, which, inspired by the ship lying before the Koopa King, Starlow decided to call the Nose Deck. Mario and Luigi obediently followed the directions she gave them on the way, and as soon as they entered the area, they stepped onto the column of air blowing up from a hole in the floor and used their spinning move to let it send them soaring up into the chamber above.

As they spun in place, pulsating yellow balls of pollen energy began to cascade around them. Satisfied with her handiwork, Starlow entered the illusion too and pretended to investigate the area. "Oh, that's pollen raining down… That's why Bowser's nose was itching," she said, spinning her latest tale. "You think we'll affect his body if we knock that pollen into his nasal walls?" That was all the prompting the Bros. needed and they started coasting around the area, sending the pollen ricocheting into the gelatinous walls around them. But Starlow needed more from the Bros. – the pollen energy was too raw, and she didn't trust that it alone would be enough to control the reversed vacuum she had in mind.

"Wow, that's quite a serious reaction…" she bluffed as she made one of the papillae on the walls redden and stick out. "Next, you guys should slam into the swollen membrane! Do it!" As the Bros. collided with the wall, Starlow was already starting to make waves in Bowser's energy – and as she feared, the pollen didn't react as smoothly as she had hoped. In order for maximum control, she needed the Bros. energy to remain disentangled from the pollen, but it was too powerful to keep out of her illusion. Instead, she merely coloured the latest energy balls blue and pretended to let one of them shock her.

"Whoa! This is a different kind of pollen! Mario! Careful you don't hit the spiky pollen!" she instructed, before retreating and letting the Bros. do their thing as she managed the energy buildup and finally found herself ready to unleash the power.

Unaware of how much was going on inside of him, Bowser was suddenly distracted from the smelly flowers by another tickling in his nose. "GAAH! BAAH! AAAAAHHHH CHOOOOO!" Using the sneeze as her means, Starlow released the energy and a rush of air exploded out of Bowser's open maw and flared nostrils, sending the ship sailing backwards off the sandbar and through a few more rocky outcroppings before it slammed into a solid peninsula jutting out from a large island near the far shore of the lake.

"Ahh! That felt great! Even my sneezes are powerful and awesome!" cackled Bowser. His sneeze had blown away all the pollen in the air and had even seemed to deplete the flowers themselves, so without any distractions to hold him, Bowser went back to his raft and went to retrieve the ship. He was happy he seemed to be having good luck for a change – he hadn't really considered how he would get the ship free, but now he didn't have to. He figured a good punch would get it moving again, as it was floating freely now – maybe Chippy would even be so kind as to give him a power boost and make it a done deal.

He got to the ship in no time, but it was floating next to another pair of Gold Flowers. He tried to only take one quick sniff and move along, but the scent still surrounded him even after he had stopped onto the ship's deck and Bowser couldn't help but turn back towards the flowers, closing his eyes to concentrate on the sensations they inspired. "That smell again…" he murmured dreamily, breathing deeply. "Mmm… Best smell ever…" Starlow hadn't expected another chance to use the pollen energy, but she didn't look a gift Yoshi in the mouth and sent the Bros. into the Nose Deck once more to add to the power she still had leftover from the first pollen encounter.

Feeling the familiar tickle in his nose, Bowser began to huff. "AAAH! GAAH! AAAAAHH CHOOOOOOOOOOO!" This time, Bowser went along for the ride as his latest, most powerful sneeze pushed him backwards into the mast and sent him and the ship blasting away from shore. The vessel plowed clear through the sandbar, destroying the first two flowers and taking out a couple more little islands before crashing straight into the rock wall beside the captive Koopas and exploding into a pile of decaying lumber, unable to withstand this latest beating.

"DID YOU SEE THAT!" exclaimed the first Koopa to find his voice as the group stared in awe at the destruction through the bars of their cage.

"That was HUGE!" cried another, but as Bowser slowly pushed himself to his feet atop the woodpile, they fell silent with anticipation, watching as he made his way over, reared back a fist and pummeled the cage into oblivion.

"FREEDOM!" chorused the Koopa Corps., all of them practically vibrating with glee.

"You really know how to make an entrance, sir! Ramming through those rocks with a ship?! GENIUS!" chattered one Koopa.

"No doubt! It would've been boring if you just punched it!" nodded another one.

"That's our king!" squeaked another.

"KING BOW-SER!" one Koopa started to chat, soon joined by another and then another.

"KING BOW-SER!"

"Ah… GAHAHAHA! Uh, yeah. That's right! Grand entrance, huh? I go the extra mile for you guys! Remember that!" crowed Bowser, mugging for his adoring troops as they called his name.

"KING BOW-SER!"

"KING BOW-SER! SO RAAAAD!"

"KING BOW-SER! KING BOWSER!"

"KING BOWSER!"

"KING BOWSER!"


	40. Troopas Go Too

Chapter 40: Troopas Go Too

"So what exactly is going on, Your Nastiness?"

"Yeah. One minute we're sitting around the castle, the next we're under attack, and then there's this weird little green guy hypnotizing people-"

"A-and throwing those of us who could resist his mind control in cages!"

"It was awful!"

"AWFUL!"

"Actually, it was _Fawful_," punned Bowser. "He's the little green nutbar responsible for all this. He's turned my awesome castle into a theater! Can you believe it?"

The sycophantic Koopas gasped in union.

"I know, right?" continued Bowser. "He's also kidnapped Princess Peach and captured this thing called the Dark Star, which he wants to use to take over the world or something."

"That is unacceptable!" shouted a Koopa.

"The world belongs to you, the illustrious King Bowser!"

"The baddest of the bad!"

"The number one villain!"

"_The_ final boss!"

"Gwahaha! All of that is so true!" grinned Bowser, loving the praise. "And don't worry – I'm gonna stop the little Beanish pretender and take what's rightfully mine."

"Oh yeah you will!"

"The castle!"

"The world!"

"The princess!"

"You know it!" said the confident Koopa King. "Annoyingly, Fawful's got himself holed up in Peach's castle with her and the Dark Star thingy, but I managed to wring some intel out of those goodie-goodie Mario Bros. and their friends."

"That's our King Bowser!"

"He gets the job done!"

"Yes I do! And the current job is breaking down the barrier around Mushroom Castle. To do that, we need these things called the Star Cures. There's three of 'em, and the first one is in Dimble Wood."

"And you're headed there to get it?"

"Great plan, Your Cunningness!"

"But wait, isn't Dimble Wood, like, a day's journey from here?"

"The great Bowser Koopa shouldn't have to walk all day!"

"Leave it to us, Your Angriness – we'll go and get the Cure for you!"

"Huh? W- wait!" Bowser hurried to cut off the Koopa Troopas as they turned to leave. "The Mario Bros. will be headed there too."

"We'll handle them, Your Importantness."

"Yeah, you can just rest up for clobbering that Fawful guy!"

"And retaking the castle!"

"_Both_ castles!"

"And the _beautiful_ princess!"

"Yeah – that's the thing: Fawful taking my castle already made it personal, but now that he's kidnapped Peach, it's _extra_ personal, y'know?" said Bowser. "I have to _make sure_ I'm the one to get those Cures, _not_ Mario. It's on! It's the final level, right here, right now! …Er, well, not _here_, exactly-"

"In Dimble Wood?"

"Are you gonna fight the Mario Bros. for the Cure thing?"

"We'll back you up!"

Memories of his recent encounter with the Mario Bros. flashed before Bowser's eyes and he shuddered, hurriedly disguising it by shaking his head. "No, I hope not. I'm just trying to get there before they do and find it first. But if there's gonna be a showdown, I'll be the one doing the clobbering this time."

"So it's a race?"

"'This time'…?"

"No backup?"

"But you're not very… er…"

"You're kind of slow, Your Otherwise-Awesome-and-Flawlessness!"

Bowser scowled at the doubt creeping into some of the Koopa Troopas' voices. "Yes, it's a race – but I'm gonna win. I have a head start and a keen nose for Star energy. And no, I don't need backup." _Backups just backfire_, he thought darkly to himself. He was glad the Koopas believed in him, unlike the Goombas and Shy Guys, but he still wondered if the battle would have turned out differently if he hadn't tried to use his minions, and for now, he was afraid he couldn't return the favour and have faith in the Troopas' fighting abilities. This was something he had to do alone.

"No worries, we understand, Your Confidentness!"

"Yeah, you can pound anything!"

"Say, maybe we can help out in other ways."

"Explain," ordered Bowser, looking down at the last Koopa to speak.

"Well, it'll be a lot better for you if you could get to Dimble Wood in a hurry, so maybe we can scout around," suggested the Koopa.

"Oh yeah, see if there's any Warp Pipes!"

"Or some sort of vehicle we could steal for ya!"

"I wonder if there's any Warp Whistles around these parts…"

"Hmmm, yeah, that's not a bad idea," said Bowser. "Look for Chakroads too – they're these weird swirly black and purple vortex things. Like Star Roads but trippier, and only I can use them, because I rock like that."

"Yeah you do!"

"We'll definitely look for those V.I.P. vortexes!"

"You mean vortices."

"Whatever! We'll still find 'em!"

"You go on ahead and we'll comb the landscape!"

"We'll find you some shortcuts in no time!"

"And I'll check to see if Project K. is still moving along!"

"Oh yeah – good idea. But does it lead to Dimble Woods?"

"I forget – but we can find out!"

"Let's go!"

Bowser smiled to himself as the Koopas scattered in all directions in twos and threes, still yammering away. He liked their enthusiasm, but his particular squadron had always been on the louder side. Chippy was bad enough – the last thing Bowser needed was to be surrounded by chattering Koopas the entire way to Dimble Wood. Only once silence had fallen on the lakeshore once more did Bowser continue walking.


	41. Tower Tussle

Chapter 41: Tower Tussle

As Bowser walked along he came across more Beehoss, some Crawfuls running around on land, and even some Fawfulized moles, Mawful Moles, and not much else. After discovering more Squid Fit rafts littering the place, Bowser had decided to use them to cut across the lake and head to Dimble Wood via Bumpsy Plains rather than taking the more circuitous Plack Beach route, and spent the better part of an hour island-hopping. Finally he had made it to the easternmost island, and also one of the largest, by the looks of it. But as he neared its shore, rather than another raft, Bowser caught sight of something much more interesting floating in the water.

"Huh? A propeller… in the water…" Bowser frowned at the massive yellow propeller and the rounded orange and white thing it was stuck to. It reminded him a bit of his Clown Car, only instead of being spherical, it was more cylindrical with a slight keel. Still, it got him thinking, and he wondered aloud, "Wait, propellers fly! If that water thing can fly, I'll be in the forest like THAT!" While he was nearly at the edge of the lake, he still had a long journey ahead of him, and even if the odds of finding something air-worthy was slim, it was still worth checking-out. Starlow was also interested – but for different reasons. Gold Flowers weren't the only things notable about Blubble Lake: she had also heard tales of a mysterious flying tower that had sunken into the lake in times past. It was even said to be topped by a propeller, and the bookworm in Starlow was now itching to find out if Bowser had stumbled upon an important archeological find.

Although, tapping into Bowser's vision, Starlow couldn't help but be surprised that something as obvious as the massive propeller and its colourful base had gone unnoticed for so long. Of course, the island _was_ off-limits, and while no one had dared come over and tried to shoo the imposing Koopa King away, it wasn't unthinkable that other visitors had been that way in some time. Plus, seeing how vivid the paint was, she wondered if perhaps the tower had only been exposed to the surface elements recently anyway, so even if botanists or conservationists or whatever did make periodic rounds to monitor the rare Gold Flowers (two of which were even growing beside the propeller) Bowser could still be the first one to find the thing in the water. It was almost like it was meant to be.

Or maybe it was just a hunk of garbage, one that could have even fallen from one of Bowser's own airships. But whatever it was, Starlow had to find out, and when Bowser wandered into yet another pollen cloud when he went over to investigate, the Star Sprite wasted no time in harnessing the energy for one final sneeze.

_Not again_, thought Bowser as his nose started to twinge. "AAAH! BAAH! AAAAHH CHOOOOOOOOO!" This time he was fully prepared for the sneeze and had dug his toes into the ground before he lost control, bracing himself against the kickback from the massive sneeze that erupted from his maw. The blast whipped the air in front of him, spinning the propeller with enough force to lift it out of the water. And then some.

All Starlow had hoped to do was get enough of the thing out of the water to let her identify if it was really the Tower of Yikk, but to her surprise, the thing whirred to life, having been awoken by the sneeze. Shaking the whole island, the tower activated its propeller and roared into the sky. "Weird!" exclaimed Bowser, opening his eyes and seeing that the thing in the water was gone. He looked around, but his eyes were still watering from the sneeze so he couldn't see much – it didn't help that the air was filled with blowing dust and even droplets. "It got dark!" Bowser remarked to himself, but he hadn't _noticed_ any storm clouds coming. But maybe it was a pop-up thunderstorm – that'd also explain the weird rumbling and rain. "I feel like this sort of thing happened before… And then…" Bowser shuddered – the last pop-up storm he had been in, he had nearly been hit by lightning. But just as he turned to try and head to some tree cover, the shadow turned to black oblivion.

_NOOOOOOO!_ screamed Starlow as Bowser's energy exploded. He had been crushed again – the tower had landed on him! She cursed him for not having the brains to look up, but an even louder voice told her there was only one person at fault there.

It was her fault.

If she hadn't let her curiosity get the best of her, this wouldn't have happened. Bowser would have just hopped on top of the roof, fiddled with the propeller a bit, realized it wasn't some small aircraft he could use, and get on with his journey. But now? Now he was dying. Again. The last drops of reserve pollen energy were already draining away – Starlow was just basically keeping it together against the vortices as they clawed at her and her illusions. The Toads were all in Toad Square, but the Mario Bros. weren't – they were in her illusion, in the accursed Nose Deck, and they were in danger. Grave danger.

But again, Starlow felt the presence of another soul in the darkness. And suddenly her fear turned to fury. _DURMITE!_ she screamed, _I don't know why you won't help me, but I know you can stop this! If he dies, you die, and we die, and EVERYONE will die! The Star Cure must not be destroyed! The Mario Bros. must survive this! I can't stop this myself this time! There's no energy left! Please, Durmite! HELP US!_

This wasn't just about surviving this time: this was about saving the world. They were the only ones who could stop the Dark Star. Mario, Luigi… and Bowser. It was taking every ounce of effort to keep the Bros.' illusion solid around them; Starlow was trying to form the Rump Command illusion again, but she just couldn't: she couldn't even manage something simpler. Even if she told the Bros. the truth right then and there and they simply released their power for Bowser to use, everything was too instable – it'd drain them dry no matter what she did to try and regulate the transfer and protect them. The pollen energy was gone, all excess energy was gone, and their Near Immortal host was starving: he would drain their souls dry, and Starlow couldn't let that happen. But there was nothing she could do – she was just barely keeping it at bay from the Toads and the Mario Bros. There was only one other way to slow it down.

She offered Bowser _her_ energy. The Star Sages wouldn't help her, but she knew they wouldn't let it end with her. Once she was gone, the worm would _have_ to step in. It'd use the Bros.' memories to make the interface that Starlow couldn't manage: the Star Sprite had hit her limits, but surely a Sage would be able to do more and save everyone. The Sages had abandoned her, but surely they wouldn't abandon the world to the Dark Star, or let Mario, Luigi and the Toads die. Sucked dry by Bowser as his own soul fought for survival under the Tower of Yikk. Surely they wouldn't let them all die because of Starlow's mistake.

"_Don't give up so easilyyyyy…_"

_Huh?_ The echoing whisper filled Starlow's fading mind for only an instant, but the wave of energy that followed roared as loud as a dragon as it filled the Koopa. Instantly, Bowser's energy released Starlow, latching onto the new glut of energy, some of which even split off and replenished all that had been sucked from the Star Sprite. She had come so close to fading away, barely holding on enough to keep the protective illusions around the other souls trapped inside Bowser, but now she was restored. And with Bowser's Near Immortality was temporarily being sustained by Durmite, Starlow was free to create a controlled interface for Mario and Luigi. For while the Star Sage was more powerful than the Star Sprite, Starlow could tell that Durmite wasn't going to shell out enough energy to free Bowser. That would still be up to Starlow and the Mario Bros., for some reason, and while she was grateful for the Sage for finally stepping up and helping to keep things under control, the Sprite couldn't shake the feeling that the powers above her were _deliberately_ making her life difficult. It was really, _really_ irritating.

But she'd worry about that later, and wasted no time in entering the illusion and guiding the Mario Bros. to the Rump Command. Once more, the Evoglobins beseeched them to save the host as they boarded the boats of revival and sailed into the adrenaline channel. There, Starlow carefully managed the mixing of Mario and Luigi's energies with Bowser as they hit the balls of energy that came flying at them. Now Starlow could sense it – it was Durmite who was directing the energy balls, but this time, Starlow joined her and together, the two Star beings and the Mario Bros. worked together to supercharge the Dragon-Koopa, the excess energy forcing the instability to dissipate as his body regenerated and grew huge once more.

Bowser came back to life with a draconian road of his own, pushing the foot of the tower off of him even before he had reached full size. Flocks of Goonies took to the air as the island shook with the footfalls of giants. Bowser was giving the fidgeting tower one of the famous death glares that sent his minions scurrying for the hills. It was a weird contraption to say the least, even taller than he was and modeled after a human, complete with a face. Its body was blue and white and round, supported by two spindly legs and round orange feet the same colour as its "hair" and its small, angular "moustache".

Looking beyond the tower, Bowser noted that it was standing near the edge of the island. "The lake…" he murmured aloud, before turning to see how much room he had himself. More than his opponent, but still, not much. "Back here, too!" he growled, facing the tower again and deciding to make it quick. Not wasting a moment, he stomped forward and threw the first pair of punches, sending the Tower of Yikk sliding over the edge and into the water. "Man… What's this guy's body made of?" growled Bowser as his knuckles smarted, watching as the tower began to shudder and rise back out of the lake. But it wasn't just the propeller lifting the tower this time, for in place of its spindly legs was a plume of fire.

"Aw, you wanna fly away?! Tough luck, sucker!" jeered Bowser, hurrying forward and unleashing a flurry of fists against the tower. As before, his attack didn't even dint the mechanical contraption and it soared past the Dragon-Koopa. "Attacking this dude's body seems useless…. Maybe the head?" he mused aloud, turning and following it. When it landed, he got ready to throw another punch, but the metal door at the front of the tower slid open and to Bowser's surprise, a trio of Crawfuls came out carrying a giant, green Fawfulized Bob-omb, complete with swirly glasses. The gaters ran forward and threw the bomb at Bowser, but taking a page from the Mario Bros., he simply knocked it back towards the tower.

Then came the next surprise, as the tower's head flipped forward and butted the garish green bomb right back at Bowser. _So it's Hot Potato, is it?_ sneered Bowser, batting the explosive away again. _Or would it be Hot Fa-Bomb?_ Bowser grinned over both his name for the bomb and the damage it dealt the tower when it finally exploded in its face. Taking his cue, Bowser then rushed the citadel, punching it and sending it sliding across the island. Another punch had it back in the lake.

"Nice! He's sinking! Now I can whale on his head!" Still grinning, Bowser did as he had telegraphed, but soon the tower was airborne again and out of range. Growling, Bowser gave chase once more, but this time when the door opened, a whole flock of Leaf Guys came out. The green Shy Guys with leaves for propellers weren't Fawfulized, nor were the faceless bombs they were carrying, but Bowser didn't care: an enemy was an enemy and he quickly used a volley of fireballs to take them down. But there were more than he had anticipated, and a couple managed to drop their payloads onto the Dragon-Koopa. Snarling, he responded with another sliding punch, slowly pushing the Tower of Yikk back towards the nearest shore.

Again, it took off not long after Bowser had gotten it in the water, and though he tried to drag it back down, it rocketed elsewhere on the island. Bowser growled as he saw a squad of Mawful Moles hop out of the tower and start repairing its fractured head. _I went through a lot to deal that damage: no way am I letting those freaks undo all my hard work!_ With an enraged blast of fire, Bowser sent the blackened creatures flying. He shifted gears as more Leaf Guys came at him, but in his giant form, he didn't have quite the stamina he usually did and between the sheer number of enemies and his earlier flare, Bowser found himself unable to spit up enough fire to defend himself.

He roared as bombs exploded all around him, and realized too late that another trio of Crawfuls had been loosed. The Fa-Bomb was far more powerful than the Leaf Guys' explosives and Bowser was blasted across the island. He managed to come to a stop just at the water's edge and looked up to find the Tower of Yikk charging. Bowser went to meet it, beating it clear across the island with punch after punch. As it teetered on the shore, it let out another swarm of Leaf Guys, but Bowser was ready. No more overkill flares: he wouldn't let them overwhelm him again.

But they had a new trick up their sleeves. Bowser quirked an eyebrow as some pairs came bearing giant mushrooms instead of bombs. Taking it as a sign that whoever was piloting the tower was getting desperate and sloppy, Bowser then wondered if they were the healing kind or Super Mushrooms that could make him even larger. He resolved to try and blast the Leaf Guys and not the items they carried, but the other enemies took full advantage of his distraction, and all thoughts of munching on mushrooms quickly vanished from Bowser's mind as he was hit with a barrage of bombs.

He was mad now.

Roaring in fury Bowser blasted away all the remaining Leaf Guys and the new crew of Mawful Moles that had emerged to fix the tower. Bowser shoved the tower right back into the water and unleashed his most ruthless onslaught of punches yet, watching in satisfaction as the metal plates dented under his blows and started to fall from the tower's framework. The tower tried to fly away, but Bowser was determined to end it there and bashed it back down, before pulling his arm back and delivering one final punch to the face.

He watched in satisfaction as explosions rocked the tower, but tensed up when it rose out of the water once more. However, he needn't have worried, for the tower barely managed to get very far inland towards him before the jet of controlled fire was replaced by another uncontrolled detonation. The last thing Bowser as he himself was engulfed in white light and began to shrink was the Tower of Yikk crashing to the ground beside him in flames.


	42. Afterlife, the Universe and Everything

Chapter 42: Afterlife, the Universe and Everything

"BWAHAHA! Castle, tower, whatever! I'll pummel anything!" cackled Bowser as he pushed himself to his feet. He had landed right where he had been stepped on by the Tower of Yikk, and the tower itself was right there as well, creaking and smoking but no longer burning. Or moving, for that matter. Only one Gold Flower remained, the other having been crushed by the tower, but all its pollen and scent had been blown away, so Bowser's full attention was available to direct towards the tower. He knew he need to head for Dimble Wood, but he was curious – the ugly human design was hardly Fawful's style, but it seemed the Bean had _something_ to do with the tower. Bowser wondered if perhaps there were flying inventions in there, or perhaps some lingering Leaf Guys he could force into his service. Or maybe he could just smash some more stuff – that was always a fun time.

Smirking to himself, Bowser made his decision and headed for the tower. Starlow didn't object to the detour. She guessed that she had been right about the Tower of Yikk only being recently uncovered – although she wouldn't have guessed it would have been Fawful's forces that beat Bowser to the discovery. Now she feared that they disturbed the fantastic knowledge that was said to be preserved inside the fabled building. She had learned her lesson: she wouldn't abuse her position of power within Bowser again – her curiosity nearly did kill the cat, and never again would she tamper with his, or anyone else's energy just to indulge herself. But seeing as they had already gone to so much trouble, she didn't think it was irresponsible of her to simply sit back and let Bowser explore.

Besides, it wasn't _her_ fault he didn't even try to talk to her after the latest giant adventure of his. He hadn't tried contacting 'Chippy' all morning, in fact, and preserving that silence was in itself more than enough motivation for Starlow to stay mum. Besides, if she _did_ talk to him and he _did_ try to thank her… Well, she didn't think she deserved thanks that time. For once, it wasn't Bowser's fault that he landed in such a pickle. It was hers, and she still felt absolutely terrible about it.

Of course, Bowser was no worse for the wear, and still gunning for a fight, he sauntered through the jammed-open door to the Tower of Yikk. But there was nothing there, save for a shop block. Being cheated out of the giant mushrooms carried by the Leaf Guys had stirred Bowser's appetite, so he walked over.

"Allô, Monsieur Turtle Bits! You are vacuuming, oui? You are collecting zee Blitties, oui?"

"Yeah, yeah, vacuums, Blitters, you know it," said Bowser absent-mindedly, still casting a wary eye around the room, lest Fawful's forces tried to jump him while he was on the video phone.

"Blitties," corrected Broque.

"Yeah, that's what I said," lied Bowser, before treating himself to a couple extra spicy drumsticks and some syrup to wash it down. All during his quick snack, not a single Fawfulized enemy showed itself, puzzling both Bowser and Starlow, who was monitoring from inside him.

Once he was finished, Bowser wandered over to the elevator at the back of the room, wondering if the enemies knew he was coming or them and were trying to hide deeper in the tower. However, when the elevator lifted him up to the upper level of the tower, it was still devoid of enemies.

_They must've ditched when the tower went down_, mused Bowser, wandering down the walkway, although the numerous, massive turning gears above and below the path and the working lights showed that the tower wasn't completely nonfunctional. But Bowser could fix that, and hoping the door up ahead lead the control room and its sensitive control panels that would surely be oh so satisfying to smash, the Koopa King pressed onward.

But to his irritation, the room appeared to be nothing more than a study. There _were_ a few breakable machines about, almost all of them with flickering displays and readouts about Boos, but no control panels. Not even on the walls: all that lined the room were shelves. But opposite the door seemed to be another passage, blocked by a desk and a chair. Perhaps the control room lay beyond there, and Bowser walked over, with every intent of simply shoving aside the desk and the dusty paperwork atop of it. But for some reason, as soon as he had reached the desk, Bowser found himself pausing to investigate the large open book that lay before him.

Forgetting all his destructive thoughts, Bowser picked up the tome and turned around to lean on the desk while he flipped through the pages. But all it did was confuse him. "What's with this book? It's totally blank…" he remarked out loud even as he continued turning the empty pages. Starlow was confused too: she knew for a fact that Bowser wasn't a book person, and she realized too late why he was trying to read a wordless book. It was because it was a trap: the book was emitting a strange energy, much like the Chakroads had used to lure Bowser into touching it, but this aura wasn't warm and inviting. It was cold as death.

But before she could break her silence and warn Bowser to drop the book and run, the room shook and a massive stone barrier rose out of the ground and sealed the exit. Bowser's eyes widened in shock, but his attention was quickly drawn back to the book as a bright light suddenly started to shine out from between the pages.

Bowser promptly dropped the book. It hit the ground flat on its spine and flopped open, but immediately started sliding away from the stunned Dragon-Koopa, flipping closed as it went. However, it didn't remain closed for long. This time, a figure appeared in the light – Yikk, the man who the tower was modeled after.

"Who has awakened me from my eternal slumber?" asked the projection as Bowser circled around to face him.

"Who are you, bub?! You LIVE in there?!" exclaimed Bowser. Although once he said it, he wondered if perhaps 'lived' was the wrong word to use.

"I am called Yikk," replied the specter, folding his hands behind his back. "Master creator. Bonded genius. Inventor of the Tower of Yikk. And you are?"

"What? You don't know me? ME?!" Inside of Bowser, Starlow rolled her metaphorical eyes: couldn't he keep his raging ego in check for two minutes? This was kind of a serious situation…

"My physical body no longer treads the paths of this world," said Yikk, indicating that he had understandably been out of touch with recent events and confirming both Bowser and Starlow's suspicions that they were dealing with a ghost. But he wasn't done there. "My soul slumbers in this book, my entire existence distilled into a patchwork of dreams…" _That_ piqued Starlow's interest even more: she knew ghosts often remained in houses, rooms or even train cars where they had lived or died, could take control of inanimate objects and mortal beings alike, and could even be trapped within pictures. But the way Yikk phrased it made it sound like this was no ordinary poltergeist, as if he had purposefully partitioned off parts of his essence into a vessel – into the blank pages of his book.

"But you are not of dreams," continued Yikk, eying the Dragon-Koopa before him. For him to have survived being stepped on by the tower, he had to be a Near Immortal – a rarity amongst the species that was already in serious decline during Yikk's era. "You are no ordinary being, are you?"

"You got THAT right, buddy!" said Bowser, laughing with pleasure at the recognition of his awesomeness. "I'm Bowser, the Koopa King!"

"I see…" Yikk didn't doubt the boastful claim: Dragon-Koopas had always been the highest class of Koopas, although when the inventor was alive, there was no single Koopa ruler. Just various local rulers, usually presiding over all the Koopas of one type or another; Yikk supposed that must have changed in the couple hundred years he had been cooped up, but he didn't care about it much either way: while Near Immortality had always been a curiosity, his interest wasn't piqued by Koopa history in the slightest. But even back in Yikk's time, there were known associations between some Koopas and what Yikk _was_ interested in, and he decided to see if this Koopa was one of them. "And…are you one tormented by the ageless riddle of Boo?"

"Boo?" repeated Bowser.

"Yes… Boo…" Suddenly Yikk disappeared and his book flipped closed, sweeping across the floor to one of the machines. "That which disappears even as one thinks it appears…" continued Yikk, briefly appearing again, before the book closed once more and sliding in front of a different machine. "That which appears even as one thinks it disappears…" The book then slid right in front of Bowser, in the middle of the room, and Yikk appeared with his hands flung wide. "A mirage, ephemeral, like the gulf betwixt dreams and waking."

Starlow was in awe. She had read about Yikk and it was a wonder to hear him speak. Or at least, hear his ghost speak. Even in death, he spoke with such a passion for his research: it inspired Starlow. She watched through Bowser's eyes as the book slid back off to the side, back to where it was before Yikk's impassioned speech. It opened again, and the spirit turned to the Dragon-Koopa. "I am tormented by the riddle of the Boo. In this place, I have researched their ways. And the result is…" the book slid a short distance to the back end of one of his inventions, and Yikk reappeared with a shout. "This Boo-ray Machine!"

"Boo-ray what?" grunted Bowser as the phantom book came back to him.

"The machine's light renders insides of one's body visible!" explained Yikk. "My proprietary laser emits Boo transparency waves, giving the light its special properties. If you wish to see, stand upon the marked platform before it."

Bowser looked from the ghost pointedly staring at him to the pillar in front of the door. If it was made of the same stuff as the outside of the tower, there was no way he'd be able to punch through it, and he got the distinct impression that Yikk had no intention of letting him go until he got what he wanted from the Koopa. _'If I wish to see', huh? As if I have a choice…_ Suppressing a scowl, Bowser did as he was bidden and walked over to the machine, which itself was shaped like a Boo. It even had arms.

Once Bowser was in position on the platform at the 'tail' end of the machine, Yikk's book slid closer. "Good. Now you must hit the machine's switch." Again, Bowser followed the ghost's instructions, and promptly a large beam of light shot out from the machine. "Behold! Your body is transparent!"

"Whoa! It's like a spotlight for my gut!" Bowser had had his doubts, but he had to admit – it _was_ pretty cool to see the beam of light passing straight through him as if he wasn't there at all. On the screen behind him, there even seemed to be a projection of what the light was passing through, like an x-ray in real time.

"In layman's terms, yes," said Yikk, his black eyes twinkling as he looked at the scene before him. "Well? Amazing, isn't it? Makes one feel like saying, 'Wow, that Yikk!' Right?" In life, Yikk had been a renowned inventor, but he was always plagued by ill health, and feared he would die before he had a chance to truly come into his own. So he devoted the later parts of his life to the study of ghosts, hoping to learn how he could linger on and continue inventing and discovering even after his defective body finally failed him. Aided by a pair of Block people with French accents, Yikk eventually did learn how he could control the energy that made up his soul itself, and during the research, he discovered something that inspired as much passion in himself as the Blocks did for each other.

The Boos. The ghosts that weren't ghosts, but a species unto themselves, extinct on arrival. Of course, most people thought they _were_ dead souls, and even the Boos themselves delighted in spreading the misinformation. Such fascinating little scamps. Shortly after Yikk had rigged his tower to fly, he fell ill once more, and knowing it was the end, he buried his building in the mire of Blubble Lake. He then freed himself from his physical form, preserving his mind within the book and going out with enough energy in his soul to let him continue his work for decades – and he then focused solely on the Boos. Using the magic of the Stars taught to him by his Block friends, Yikk could move not only his book, but tools as well, and he had stockpiled enough material for a century's worth of inventing. The only downside was that he had no one to test it on.

All his time in seclusion had left Yikk wary of the outside world. He modified his tower into a massive robot for self-defense purposes, but after resting undisturbed for so long, he let his guard down and then the creatures came. The strange alligators and Leaf Guys and their bombs, hoping to use the sunken Tower of Yikk as a base of some sort. He noticed them too late to keep them out of the tower, but he did manage to seal them out of his room and the cockpit beyond. He just hoped they'd do their business and leave, but then the tower was lifted and attacked by a dragon. It was certainly an exciting turn of events for the ancient ghost, and while he'd have to do extensive repairs to the tower before he could fly it to a new hiding spot, he was glad that the giant battle scared off the intruders. And now they were replaced with one, much more manageable guest.

"This marks the first usage of the Boo-ray on a living being…" admitted Yikk, noting with amusement that Bowser didn't look too happy about that news. But the Dragon-Koopa had no need to fret. "I consider the trial a success," concluded Yikk. "Now, to sleep and dream again. Use it all you wish." He then closed his book and slid it back onto the table, from where he continued to watch as Bowser blinked in confusion. Clearly, the reptile had expected Yikk to open the door for him, but he couldn't. Not yet. At least, that's what he had been told by the other visitor he had had that day. Of course, most wouldn't considered a disembodied voice a 'visitor' _per se_, but Yikk was no ordinary being himself, and was quite willing to accept Chakron as a visitor just the same as if he had been corporeal like Bowser.

In fact, without Chakron, Bowser wouldn't even be there, for the voice had told Yikk to allow the Dragon-Koopa entry into the tower. After watching him pulverize the Tower of Yikk, the ghost had no intention of letting him inside to do more damage, especially not after he had only just gotten rid of the other intruders. But then Chakron promised him that Bowser wouldn't cause more damage, and instead, be a perfect guinea-pig for the Boo-Ray Machine. In return, all Chakron asked was for Yikk to allow him to piggyback some of his own energy on the beam, and after confirming that the voice's power didn't change the effects of Yikk's light, he struck the deal.

And now that Chakron's prediction had proven true, Yikk was quite glad he had listened to the friend of a friend. Yes, while he hadn't seen Broque in well over a hundred and fifty years, he could still remember the stories his block friends told him about their glory days, before they became earthbound, and many of them had involved the Monsieur's friends Chakron and Kuzzle. Yikk _had_ met the scruffy blue Koopa a couple times, but Chakron stayed to himself up on his mountain, channeling waves of energy from the heart of the universe, or something like that – Yikk couldn't remember exactly. Kuzzle, Broque Monsieur and the Madame went visiting him periodically, but Yikk never bothered joining them: unlike the spectral afterlife, the heavens interested him not, and by the sounds of it, the climb would have been too much for his tenuous health anyway.

But as luck would have it, he ended up meeting the reclusive Star Sage anyway. Granted, it was nearly two centuries years later, but that still worked for Yikk. In fact, he was glad for the chance to speak to the Sage: it gave him an opportunity to check up on his old friends, seeing as the others could not telepathically communicate over great distances like Chakron. Granted, the news he received about the Blocks wasn't very happy, but he sometimes life just went that way. Afterlife too, and Yikk didn't let him bother him as he monitored Bowser's use of the Boo-Ray Machine from the warm comfort of the pages of his book.


	43. Friend

Chapter 43: Friend

While she admired Yikk, Starlow had some trepidation about Bowser letting himself be the ghost's guinea pig, but like the Koopa, she knew they didn't have much choice. She braced herself anyway, prepared to stave off or absorb whatever energy was about to strike her host, but when the machine turned on, to her surprise, nothing happened. The energy passed straight through Bowser, and while she did feel it and could sense it interacting with both his physical form, it wasn't actually changing anything.

Starlow had to agree when Bowser likened the beam to a 'spotlight' for his gut. Granted, it wasn't really part if your average electromagnetic spectrum, but as far as its effects went, the energy was, in essence, just a light. Although as she looked at the wall through Bowser's eyes, she felt that it wasn't so much a 'spotlight' as an overhead projector for his gut. His anatomy was rendered on the wall in shimmering blue; a mess of overlapping organs and bones nothing like the illusions Starlow had been creating for the Mario Bros. Before she was able to get a good look at the map, however, Bowser turned away to face Yikk, but Starlow's disappointment about her visuals being cut off so prematurely was short lived.

"_A curios child heaves a sigh."_

If Starlow had a physical form at that moment, she knew her eyes would have opened wide as the familiar voice filled her head. _Chakron?!_

"_It is I, who is he."_

_What are you doing here? I mean, how are you talking to me? There's no Chakroad here, is there?_

"_I do not NEED a Chakroad to communicate. My mind can use the waves of the cosmos to travel far and wide."_

_Oh, great._

"_Greatness comes with enlightenment,"_ replied Chakron wryly, but Starlow was too angry to take the hint and realize she really ought not to be making bitter, sarcastic remarks at her elder's expense.

_Oh, I see. So tell me, oh enlightened one, where exactly was your surfing mind when Fawful snatched the Dark Star?! Why couldn't it hang-ten over this way, like, ten minutes ago when Bowser was dying and I needed help?! Why didn't DURMITE step in until __**I**__ nearly died!? I mean, I'm trying to save the world from the DARK STAR – why am I doing it alone!?_

Chakron was silent for a moment, long enough to make Starlow worry she had cut loose a bit too much and he wasn't even going to bother putting up with her. But before too long, his voice echoed in her metaphysical head once more. "_You are not alone."_

_Yeah, well you guys have a funny way of showing solidarity!_

"_I see you have not taken my first lesson to heart… As I told you before, I did not have contact with the others for generations."_

_Fine, then both you AND all the other Stars have a funny way of showing your support for the girl who's trying her darned best to stop the Dark Star for ya!_

"_The last time the Dark Star was awakened, it was not the Star World, the Star Road or the Star Haven that stopped it. It was three __Star Sages, barely more than Sprites. Untested._ And alone."

_Yeah, and it cost them everything! But I'm not a Sage, and there is only ONE of me!_

"_But you are on a quest for the powers of three Sages."_

_Three Sages which are not cooperating at all! Durmite's been here ALL ALONG, and yet it took some crazy Toad doctor to let me know she was a Star!_

"_That's because you're-"_

_-'Unenlightened', yeah, yeah, I know, I know – ENOUGH! Maybe YOU should get better at listening too, because as I told YOU last time, this is a BAD setting for a field course! At the very least, I shouldn't have to waste time chasing some stuck-up Sage around my own illusions because she's too good to even TALK to me!_

More silence. Starlow realized she'd done it that time. Maybe she had been with Bowser too long – his fiery temper was rubbing off on her. Oh, who was she kidding? She's always been hot-headed. Wisdurm was always telling her to be respectful, and yet here she was, screaming at a Star Sage. And his next words made it clear he was not impressed. _And yet YOU can waste your time chasing curiosities?_

Starlow winced. _I know! I'm sorry. It was stupid of me, and I won't let it happen again. I'll keep my eyes on the big picture – but you guys have to as well!_

"_Is that what you regret? The time? Once you have lived a thousand years, watching tyrants fall and kingdoms unite, your mind spread across the cosmos… THEN, you will understand time. But right now, you cannot even tell the difference between ten minutes and half an hour. You are still so unenlightened, still not seeing what is important here."_

_Maybe if you tell me what I'm doing wrong…_

"_I cannot tell you how to feel. That is a lesson you MUST learn for yourself. But I fear others have schooled you in this matter already…"_

_What are you talking about NOW?_ Starlow winced inwardly again: there goes that lip of hers. But Chakron didn't seem fazed this time as he airily continued.

"_It matters not. Not at this time. What matters is this: I will not give you the answers, but I WILL help you. The Sage you are up against is too zealous with her challenge, and using the spectrum of the spectral inventor's machine, I have been able to link with the Dragon-Koopas energy almost as strongly as I could were he within a Chakroad. You cannot control the Sage's illusions, but my mind is stronger. With practice, you too would have been able to break through her fences. Someday. But today is not a day of practice. Make sure our temperamental friend stays within the beam, and I will help you advance in your challenge._

It took a moment for Chakron's words to sink in, and Starlow could barely believe it when it finally did register. _Wh- what!? You're offering to help me!?_

"_I am not offering anything: I am choosing to act. It is not your choice to accept or decline. Return to the illusion the Sage has taken from you: the barriers will lower and you will continue."_

_Well, whatever you say. But… thank you. It means a lot to me that I finally have a friend in this._

"_You have had friends for some time."_

_Oh, right, of course! How could I forget – Mario and Luigi! And I suppose that Broque guy helped too, and Wisdurm, though not lately..._

"_Perhaps… Perhaps not."_

_Huh?_

Chakron smiled to himself: Starlow was in for a surprise, and he wasn't going to spoil it. _"It matters not. This conversation has passed in the blink of an eye for Bowser, but soon Yikk will stop speaking."_

_Don't worry – I'll make sure Bowser stays put. You can count on me!_

Far away on his mountain, Chakron sighed. He had been relying on Starlow for quite a while already. The world was, but she wasn't ready. She wouldn't pass the test at this rate: Bowser's last close-call and Starlow's moment of despair had been enough to convince Chakron that the girl was not ready to be a Sage. If she gave up then, she would give up against the Dark Star, and no one would be able to rescue her when _that_ happened. It frustrated Chakron that he could not force the Star Spirits above to reconsider and use something less dire as a test. But they were never ones to listen, much like their students.

So Chakron would do the next best thing: he'd speed the test along as much as he could to ensure that Bowser got to Mushroom Castle on time, before the Dark Star awoke. The Stars wanted to destroy the Dark Star, but Chakron was done playing roulette with the world: their young upstart was in over her head, and the name of the game was prevention now. He knew Wisdurm still had faith in her pupil and would continue to push her, hoping to prepare Starlow for a final confrontation no matter how much time the challenges burned through. Chakron had tried to get her to reconsider, to realize that the Dark Star was too dangerous, but she hadn't been there, and the Spirits in their Haven had forgotten. So now Chakron was taking matters into his own hands: he couldn't reason with the younger Sage or the higher authority she followed, but with the light as a conduit for his thoughts and energy, he _could_ fight her. With his mind.


	44. Foe

**A/N****: Sorry it took so long, but I've finally finished and uploaded a map to go along with this story. If you're familiar with my **_**Super Koopa**_** series (which I consider to be in the same canon as this story), you might know that I made a map for the Mushroom Kingdom and its neighbours, created by compiling various actual world maps from various games and twisting them around to fit together. Well, same deal here: everything is roughly in the same position relative to all the other places as in the game map, but a bit stretched, rotated and shifted around in order to fit the design I already had drafted for the western expanse of the Mushroom Kingdom. The resulting map can be found on my deviantart account: Google searching "**_Walkazo western mushroom kingdom_**" should bring it up, or, working around the annoying anti-spam censoring, the address is… **(h tee tp: double-slash) walk a zo DOT deviant AAAart (dot com slash) art (slash) Western-Mushroom-Kingdom-map- 386378168** …I hope you like it and/or find it useful for understanding the story!  
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Chapter 44: Foe

"Hey, Bowser!"

"Huh? Chippy?" Bowser sighed. "Silent treatment's over, is it?"

"Awww, did you miss me?"

"As if."

Starlow's snort was identical to Bowser's. "Well, whatever. Listen, don't walk away from that machine – leave it shining on your gut."

"Why?" Bowser narrowed his eyes suspiciously, turning to look back at the projection on the wall behind him.

"Erm, the light is, uh, shining on some stuff, and making it easier to fix some things that got messed up when you grew giant just now."

"Hey, _I_ didn't turn myself giant – _you_ did," huffed Bowser.

"Yeah, and you're welcome for that – or would you _rather_ have stayed smushed under the Tower of Yikk?" snapped Starlow, not appreciating Bowser's ungrateful tone of voice.

Of course, if he _had_ considered thanking Starlow for saving his life before, he certainly wasn't planning to now. "That wasn't my fault either," growled Bowser, instantly snapping Starlow out of her latest flare-up with the inadvertent reminder that it had been _her_ fault. Not that he knew that, of course, and he kept on arguing. "Anyway, I don't see anything messed up on that display of my bod on the wall."

"It's not really something you can see," said Starlow. "But trust me, it's there."

"Y'know, I don't see you up there either…" remarked Bowser.

"I'm small too, and your body's pretty complicated, so that chart's not the easiest to understand, I imagine."

"It _is_ kinda jumbly," said Bowser. "Bwa ha ha! But of course a Koopa as awesome as I am _wouldn't_ be easy to understand. I'm a pantheon of nature!"

"You mean paragon…"

"Glad you agree," smirked Bowser. "And lucky you, you get first-hand knowledge of how amazing my innards are."

_I can't believe I'm having this conversation, _sighed Starlow. Being nice was one thing, but this was asking too much. "Look, are you gonna stay on the machine, or what?"

"Yeah, yeah, I will, don't worry… It's not like I can leave even if I wanted to…" he spoke that last bit in a low growl, glaring at Yikk's closed book.

"_Once you get the Star Cure, I'll tell Yikk to let our cantankerous friend go,"_ said Chakron to Starlow, who relayed the message – in a way.

"Well, if you keep using the machine, maybe it'll satisfy Yikk and he'll let you go before too long. Once I'm done cleaning up, try asking him to open the door for you."

"Or I could order him to, lest this trial run of his Boo-Shine Machine is its _only_ run, gwa ha ha…"

"Boo-_Ray_ Machine, and he _can_ hear you, y'know!"

"…Ha h- Crap," Bowser turned towards the book. "Just kidding! Just, joking around with, uh…" Bowser had to admit, he wasn't sure how he could answer the question without sounding crazy. 'With the girl in my stomach'? No. 'With the voice in my head'? No. 'With myself'? No. "…Uh, just joking around," he finally finished, flashing another sheepish grin at the ghost book before turning and facing the machine. Yikk just chuckled to himself: if all his guests were as entertaining as the crazy Dragon-Koopa, perhaps he should just leave his tower on surface instead of repairing it and going back into hiding, as he had been planning.

Starlow, on the other hand, was not amused. Rolling her metaphorical eyes at Bowser's antics, Starlow then entered her illusion. The conversation between her and Chakron had taken place in only a couple moments, and she had been free to talk to Bowser not long after Yikk had retired. And now that he was taken care of, she wasted no time in rousing the Mario Bros. from the Rump Command, where they had been resting. Reviving Bowser took a lot out of them – literally, and Starlow hoped they wouldn't have to do it again. But either way, they couldn't afford to rest just now – not until Durmite was taken care of.

"Look! Over there! Some activity! Let's go check it out!" The Bros. obediently followed her back to the Energy Hold, getting there just as Chakron had the Boo blocks disappear. "Wow! WOW!" Starlow was hamming it up a bit, but it _was_ a bit impressive to feel Chakron rip through the illusion for her. What she had sensed back when Bowser first encountered the Chakroad had been spot on: this Sage was packing a lot of power. She was glad he was on her side, but as always, she wasn't going to let the Mario Bros. in on the full story. It would take too long to explain, and they really had to catch that worm, so as always, she lied. "The barrier that bug escaped under just disappeared! The light from outside changes this place, huh? Now we can resume the chase! C'mon! Let's go!"

"Let's-a-go," agreed Mario, and he and Luigi set off, the latter finally clearing the final jump now that there were no blocks narrowing the top ledge.

In the next area was an Emoglobin. "Some things only globin knows… Like when one sees nothing… One must let light shine on to make the invisible-ish exist! Or the opposite. Some things shun the light and hide when light strikes their globin."

Clearly Bowser's energy had taken notice of both the struggle between the hiding bug and the Star Sage now surfing on the beams of light that even managed to permeate Starlow's illusion, making the area shine. The caverns beyond the Emoglobin were deep and high-ceilinged, but Chakron was making nearly invisible stepping stones flash in the light, and the Mario Bros. were able to advance.

At least, at first. For they soon came to a twist in the path devoid of stairs, invisible or otherwise. Determined not to beat around the bush, Starlow called out for some help. _Uhhhh, Chakron?_

"_The Sage is displeased with me,"_ said Chakron. He was putting it mildly: his foe was furious. It was almost amusing how poorly she was taking his interference – his 'cheating'. She may be a Sage, but she was not so enlightened: even her attempts to work around Chakron's manipulation of her hijacked illusion was easily solved. _"She is trying to use my powers against you. Have Bowser turn off the machine."_

_But won't things be WORSE without your energy helping me?_

"_In darkness you shall see the way forward. Trust in me as you ask the Dragon-Koopa to trust in you."_

_Okay, if you say so…_

"_I am pleased to see you are learning to listen…"_

Smiling to herself at the compliment, Starlow shifted her mental link from Chakron to the Koopa King. "Hey, Bowser!"

"What?"

"Turn off the machine for a sec, okay?"

"But you said to leave it _on_."

"Yeah, but now I need it off."

"Fine, whatever." Bowser punched the machine's switch and the light went dim, but as he moved to wander around the room and stretch his legs, Starlow called out to him again.

"Wait! Don't go anywhere – I might need the machine turned on again."

"Grrr, make up your mind!" he growled, but he soon relented. "…Bah, there's nothing else to look at anyway, I suppose."

Starlow wasn't listening to his grumpy muttering anymore, however, for just as Chakron had told her, once the light was off, more Boo blocks appeared. But they were jumbled and rather than forming a barrier, they provided the Bros. with a set of footholds to jump their way to the next level of the area. As always, Emoglobins weren't the only encroachments Bowser's energy made on the illusion, and electric Napses hindered the Bros. progress as they navigated the maze. Soon, they caught their first glimpse of Durmite, but she had another trick up her sleeve and sealed the passage behind her.

Once more, Bowser's energy took notice of the change, and a nearby Emoglobin piped up when the door closed. "And then there was globin… O holder of the panel made of triangular-ish pieces…Be sure to press up in front of the gate on the left. Something…will happen. Globin."

Mario and Luigi walked up to the door, viewing the star shaped hole above the door. _Man, this Sage doesn't know the meaning of subtlety,_ smirked Starlow. _Chakron, can you open this, please?_

"_The waves of my energy are strong, but just as levies holds back a flood, so too is the door holding fast,"_ replied Chakron. Unlike Durmite, who had no qualms about manhandling Bowser's energy to slow Starlow's progress, Chakron had no intention of hurting the Dragon-Koopa by forcing his way through. And she knew that. But it had taken a lot of her own energy to seal herself in, and Chakron would at least be able to help Starlow breeze through the hoops Durmite had left for her.

More mazes awaited the heroes as they searched for the Star Panel they needed to insert into the hole over the door. Incensed by the energy block Durmite had created for her door, Bowser's essence now attacked with a variety of new enemies in addition to the Napses. There were club-wielding Protobatter-like Pwollops of varying sizes, Piranha Plorps that looked like Piranha Plants made out of swollen blood vessels, and glowing Peps that specialized in speed, power or defense depending on their colour. Mario and Luigi made quick work of all of them as they journeyed through the Energy Hold, speaking to various Emoglobins, making their _very_ bored Koopa host flick the lights on and off at various intervals, and activating switches that activated the star-shaped key one arm at a time. The first time they returned to the main chamber, the odd-shaped panel that popped out of the wall was useless, but after activating the switch for the arm opposite the first one, the result was a triangular piece.

While it was still three arms short of the star they need to follow Durmite, the triangle piece _did_ end up fitting in a different door elsewhere in the puzzle. Chakron could have opened _that_ doorway without the piece had Starlow asked, but the Sprite didn't want to rely on him for _everything_, which he was glad to see. While he wanted her to speed through the test, he didn't want to spoon feed her _everything_, after all: that would do her no favours once Bowser left the Boo-Ray Machine behind and Chakron would be reduced to advice-giving rather than first-hand assistance.

Wandering around the corridor unlocked by the triangle, Mario and Luigi soon came upon a strange screw sticking out of the ground and used their spin attack to send it burrowing down into the fleshy floor.

"Interesting…" remarked Starlow, entering the illusion as she wondered what the adversarial Sage meant to accomplish by putting something like that in their path. "By spinning, you drove that thing into the floor. Just like a drill!"

"Hmmm," hummed Mario, getting lost in thought for a moment before jumping with excitement. "Oh, Luigi – You know what would make some of these puzzles-a easier?"

Luigi tilted his head to the side. Mario could practically see the question mark in his brother's body language.

"We should use our old-a move to drill into the ground," he continued. "Y'know, the-a Drill Bros. technique. Then we could-a just go _under_ some of these-a road blocks."

Luigi's eyes widened with comprehension, and in unison the two Bros. cried out "Ya-hoo!" Starlow then watched as Luigi pulled out his hammer and jumped on Mario's back, they then started to spin but instead of gliding across the ground, they buried straight down into it.

"That's so cool! You two spin together and drill down into the ground!" exclaimed Starlow. She had heard of the Drill Bros. move before and was geeking out a little at seeing it in person. She grinned as little poofs of illusionary dirt marked the Bros. progress as they moved around under the surface. "That's even cooler! If you move underground, you can get in tiny openings and under barriers!" Starlow's fangirlish glee was cut short when the Bros. erupted out of the ground right beneath her and Luigi clocked her with his raised fist, sending her flying. "Hey! Watch where you're popping out, will you!" she snarled when she came zooming back.

Mm-hmm," nodded Mario as Luigi grimaced apologetically.

Starlow decided that given the circumstances, she'd let the indignity slide and went back to musing about Durmite's maze. "I bet that Drill Bros. move can do more that bypass things… What you should do is try it on suspicious spots in the ground. Try it out in various places!"

"Oh yeah!" cried Mario, although he doubted they'd find any Beans or buried treasure inside Bowser. So, for the most part, they simply used their long-forgotten ability to progress through the area, finally activating the entire Star Panel.

Mario and Luigi caught a glimpse of Durmite hopping away the moment they got through the doorway. They figured it was their lucky day and hurried after the bug, but Starlow knew better: the Star Sage had only been waiting for them to rub it in their faces that she didn't _need_ a head start. Sure enough, Durmite quickly slipped past another barrier of Boo blocks, these ones only intangible without the light shining, so Starlow had Bowser turn the machine off yet again. She wasn't worried, however – Chakron could still speak to her without the conduit, although he couldn't affect the energy. Still, Starlow was itching to get a crack at the Star Sage by herself. Deep down, she knew she was being reckless, given how the Sage far outstripped her in energy, abilities and experience, but Starlow was a hot-blooded Sprite and she couldn't help but look forward to confronting the stuck-up Sage.

Jumping to get Mario's attention, Luigi spoke up. "Let-a me get it bro, I'll sneak up on it nice and-a slow."

"Oh yeah!" said Mario with an encouraging jump. Luigi smiled at his brother and then walked past him. Mario watched as Luigi slowly stepped towards Durmite, who was also creeping forward, away from him.

Suddenly, she turned. "Wah!" yelped Luigi, also turning and covering his head as if he was cowering from something. And to Mario's surprise, this peek-a-boo method actually seemed to work, for Durmite turned back around and started hopping away again. Luigi went after her, but this time when she caught him in the act and he tried to hide his face again, rather than retreating, the worm slowly crawled over to Luigi. Mario instinctively tensed up: now was Luigi's chance. But instead of pouncing, his brother remained crouched over with his back to Durmite, who now raised herself up and sniffed at his rear end. Then came the next surprise, as the bug briefly latched onto the seat of Luigi's pants. Mario just raised an eyebrow at the antics, but Starlow was leery: what exactly was the Sage up to?

Durmite quickly popped off, making a face and spitting out the bad taste Luigi's energy left in her mouth. She started crawling away once more, but Luigi hadn't given up and creeped after her with Mario walking up behind him. Then, before Durmite could turn around, Luigi pulled off his hat and whapped it down on top of her with a "Wah!" However, Durmite was stronger than she looked and started thrashing around inside he hat with enough force to wave Luigi himself around. "Whoawawawa!" he yelped, but the hat soon stilled and he chanced a peek under the rim. But nothing was there.

Mario and Luigi blinked in confusion, but a sound behind them drew their attention and they turned to see Durmite hopping around free as a jaybird and grinning cheekily at the Bros. Luigi pushed past Mario and hurried after the worm and threw his hat down once more, but before he even had a chance to see if he had caught her that time, the ground behind him began to shift. Mario backed up and watched as Durmite came bursting out of the floor. Luigi turned and tried to catch her again, but once more she buried out from under the hat. Getting back up, he started to look for her, and Mario sighed.

"Luigi," he called. "It's-a no use. The bug will-a just escape again."

"I know, but we have to try-a _something_," said Luigi, walking up to Mario, unaware that Durmite was once again attached to his derriere.

"Yes, but if that-a something doesn't work the first-a _three times_, we should try-a something _else_," argued Mario.

"Like what? We don't-a have any butterfly nets or-a anything, and the bug is-a too slippery to catch by hand. She's fast and-a sneaky, but I'm-a sneaky too. I'm-a-gonna use my hat again, but this time I'll-a sweep her up with it – she won't-a be expecting that now that I've-a lured her into a false sense of security." Luigi's eyes gleamed as he voiced his plan, but as he brushed past Mario, the shorter man called out in surprise.

Luigi turned just as Durmite popped off his butt again, once more gagging on the taste. Luigi uses his hat again, but he wasn't fast enough and once more, Durmite burst out of the ground behind him and began hopping towards the wall. Luigi lunged after her, but she was too fast and wiggled under the overhang. And as if sliding into the wall wasn't bad enough, Durmite ejected all the energy she had siphoned off of Luigi right back into his face in a yellow puff of stinky gas.

Luigi just lay there as she crawled away. "Why do the Stars-a hate me?" he muttered to himself, thinking back to the time he and Mario visited the Star Shrine. The door refused him access, and while it later _did_ let him in and claimed it was all just a test of character, he knew better. The things the door whispered to him weren't something one joked about.

"Don't-a worry, Luigi," said Mario, walking over and pulling his brother to his feet.

"Yeah, it's not you – that Sage is being an uncooperative jerk to _all_ of us," said Starlow, entering the illusion.

"Mm-hmm," nodded Mario.

"I guess you're-a right," sighed Luigi.

"Of course we are, now shake a leg, you two – the sooner get our hands on that worm the better," said Starlow.

"Oh yeah!" chorused the Mario Bros., and using the Drill Bros. technique they hurried after the Sage. Unfortunately, she had actually used her head start this time, and they just barely caught a glimpse of her disappearing at the far side of the next area. With Chakron's silent help they used various blocks and vortices of wind to climb to the top of the cavern, and after navigating the maze that followed after that, they finally caught Durmite out in the open once more, at the bottom of a shallow valley.

Luigi was done trying to be sneaky and ran ahead of Mario after they hurried down the hill. He lunged through the air but slid to a stop short of his wriggling foe. Mario dived over his brother as Durmite hurried away, but he too missed the mark. The Bros. sprang to their feet as their slippery foe started to climb the far hill, determined to not let her get to the next area and whatever tedious challenges awaited them _there_, but Durmite was done.

"ENOUGH!" she screeched, turning around halfway up the incline hopping irately at the Mario Bros. "Persistent men, aren't youuu? What is it you want with meee?"

The Bros. were relieved their chase was finally over, but Starlow felt like she had just been stabbed. She didn't even hear what Luigi was saying as he started explaining the station; her world was starting to spin. It was bad enough when she thought it was just some random Sage that was ignoring her, forcing her to jump through hoops and treating her friends like fools, but it _wasn't_ a random Sage: Starlow recognized the worm's voice. It was the one that had been so supportive at the beginning of the whole inside Bowser fiasco, the one that had promised to help, the one that Starlow thought she could trust. It was a voice she had known for years, and which she'd recognize anywhere: it was the voice of her mentor.

Wisdurm.


	45. Betrayal

Chapter 45: Betrayal

_WISDURM!_

"_Yeees?"_

_So it IS you!_ While Luigi babbled, Starlow had taken the opportunity to link up with the Sage: it was _she_ who had explaining to do, not the Bros. _You've been here all this time!? Why didn't you say anything!? Why have you been ignoring me and making me do this all by myself!? HOW COULD YOU!?_

"_Tut tut, such aaaaanger. Did I not help when you neeeeeded it? Did I not send my old mentor, the Broque Monsieur, to help you earrrrlier?"_

_Yes, but you could have done so much more! If you had helped me, we could have stopped Fawful from kidnapping Peach and stealing the Dark Star!_

"_That's exactly why I did not heeelp."_

_What?! That makes no sense!_

"_Yes it doessss."_ Wisdurm then turned her attention back to the Mario Bros., for Luigi had fallen silent. She had completely ignored his tale, but of course, she already knew the story – she knew it _better_ than he did, and so, she could pretend that she had listened quite easily. "Hmm? The Dark Staaaar? Princess Peach captuuured? Mushroom Kingdom overrunnn?"

"Oh yeah" nodded Luigi.

"Ahhhh…" sighed Wisdurm, fully enjoying herself. "Traaaagic. Truly traaaagic. My sympathiesss."

"Yes, but we can-a stop this. A magician-a told us all we need is-a the Star Cures, and he said you have the first one, so-a…"

"You want me, a Sage, to give you, a nobody, the Star Cuure?"

"Oh yeah," Luigi nodded again.

"I don't know about thaaat… What physical proof do you have that your story is truuuue? Why should I believe youuuu?"

Luigi was clearly at a loss and simply stared at the bug in disbelief: just when he thought things were looking up, once more, the Stars had decided to give him a hard time. Starlow, however, was not so silent. _Wisdurm, please, stop messing with them and just cooperate already! What more do you want from us?_

"_Well, maybe I would cooperate if you hadn't cheeeated…"_

_Well, MAYBE I wouldn't have let Chakron help us if you hadn't been so uncooperative in the first place! And 'cheating'? This isn't school! This isn't a game! This is real life, and there is a REAL problem that needs solving! Fast!_

Wisdurm may not have been able to stop Chakron from helping Starlow and her mortal friends through the illusion, but now that they were up against Wisdurm's power directly, she was in a position to make things properly hard for them. No way was she going to give them a free ride, and, with another smirk, she continued to tease Luigi. "This Star Cure was entrusted to the sole care of me, Wisdurm! Why would I hand it over to men who lack any credibiiiiility?!"

"But we're the-a Mario Bros. I'm-a Luigi and this is-a Mario! We've saved the world-a multiple times – He saved-a both the Star Road and the-a Star Spirits! Everyone knows-a Super Mario and his bro. We have a Star Sprite with us too: she can-a vouch for us."

"Hmmmmmmmmm…" hummed Wisdurm, pretending to consider it.

_Wisdurm, PLEASE! This isn't fair! Making me face the Dark Star, giving them a hard time – it's totally unfair! If you're gonna force me to do all this stuff alone, at least have the decency to give me a Star Cure to do it with... And an explanation would be nice too…_ Starlow only muttered that last bit, but Wisdurm heard her thoughts loud and clear.

"You're quite persistennnnt," she commented aloud, referring to both Luigi and Starlow. "This troubles meeeee. You chase me without flaaagging. You demand the Star Cuuuure… Rather brazen, methiiiiiiinks…"

Luigi was getting mad now, and started stomping around. Ignoring his angry Italian tirade, Wisdurm snorted. "Tut tut! Lost our temperrrrr? Somewhat childish, nooooo?" She then linked back up with Starlow. _"Reminds you of anyooooone?"_

_Bowser_, came Starlow's unamused retort, and Wisdurm laughed, her insect body hopping in place.

"And yet amuuusing! Regrettably…" she remarked, once again giving her words two meanings.

Now Mario was getting impatient too and stepped forward past his fuming brother. "Please, we need to-a save Princess Peach and the-a Mushroom Kingdom, and we can't do that without the-a Star Cures."

_Look, whatever it was I did to deserve this, I am SORRY, okay? But don't take it out on them. The world needs them to get that Star Cure._

"_Don't worry, Starrrlow. I knowwwww."_ Wisdurm turned her attention back to Mario. "Very wellll… If you are so insistent that I gave you the Cure, we will battle for iiiiit."

_That's not what I had in mind…_ growled Starlow as Mario blinked in surprise at the diminutive worm.

"A battle with Wisdurrrrrm…" continued the Sage. "The winner will own the Star Cuuuuuure. Yes? Then we beginnnnn. Wisdurm battle sequence STAAAAAAAAAAART!"

Before Starlow, Mario or Luigi could protest, Wisdurm leapt at the Bros. She spat out a length of silk, connecting it to the ceiling and swinging towards Mario, but he deflected the attack with a hammer. She landed nimbly, ready to weather the brothers' counter attack, and confident in her multitasking abilities, she linked back up with her student.

"_Starlow, listen to meeee…"_

_So what, you won't give us the Star Cure but you're willing to talk now?_

"_If you want me to talk, you should not be so liiiippy."_

_Sorry, it's just been a hard- wait, y'know what, I'm NOT sorry! You know how much trouble I've been through the past day and a half? Wait a minute, of COURSE you know – you've been here watching me all this time!_

"_Yessss…"_

_But WHY?_ _Why'd you go to all that trouble – I didn't even recognize your energy signature, much less this new look of yours._

"_Well, we ARE in an illuuuuusion – you could change your form too if you waaaanted."_ Then, as if to demonstrate, Wisdurm began to glow, suddenly growing from a tiny teal grub to a pink caterpillar as large as the Mario Bros. She was still a lot smaller than she was in her earlier 'Durmite' form, but at least this way she could use more techniques as she tested the Mario Bros. If they and Starlow hoped to hold up against the Dark Star's energy, their illusionary forms needed to be in top form. With a wave of the magic rod she had affixed to her tail, she called up a burst of magical energy. It flew high into the air and formed into a crystal heart which then fell down towards Mario, who once again defended with the hammer, with Luigi following suit when the attack fell to him next. As the Bros. took their turn to attack, Wisdurm idly weathered the blows and resumed the conversation with her pupil. _"As for masking my eeeenergy… Well, that took some praaactice."_

_Yes, it IS hard to keep lies straight, isn't it?_ hissed Starlow, still resentful of her mentor's duplicity.

"_Yes, and you're getting good at iiiit. I am impreeeesed."_

_You have a funny way of showing it,_ said Starlow watching as Wisdurm tried to blast the Mario Bros. with a stream of multicoloured stars.

"_It is necessaaaary. It is preparing you to face the Dark Staaaaar."_

_But why do __I__ have to face it? Shouldn't a Sage do it? It took three of them to defeat it last time!_

"_Ahhhhhh, but THIIIIS time, we have Mario and Luigi and a Near Immortal Dragon-Koopa to help suppress the dark energiiiiiies. That is why I am testing youuuuu."_ To drive her point home, Wisdurm suddenly attacked Starlow's illusions once more, but this time, rather than changing the area, she changed Luigi, turning him small. Starlow gasped: _that_ had been the reason for Wisdurm latching onto Luigi earlier and taking a sample of his stinky yellow essence – she was figuring out how to corrupt his energy. Now Starlow watched in alarm as Wisdurm started to chase the tiny energy parasite, struggling to restore his regular form while he swatted at his attacker with his hammer. Her point made, Wisdurm soon retreated and let Starlow change Luigi back to normal, no worse for the wear. _"Seeeeeee? If I can do that to them, imagine what the Dark Star will do when you face iiiiit."_

_Then don't make us face it!_ yelled Starlow as Wisdurm changed back into her tiny form and resumed attacking using her simple silk vine swing attack._ Get some more Star Sages down here like last time! Let us collect the Star Cures fast enough to prevent Fawful from awakening the Dark Star in the first place – there's still time!_

"_Perhaps I have been giving your disciple too little credit, Wisdurm: it seems she and I are of the same mind on this matter."_

"_Butt out of this, Chakronnnnn,"_ growled Wisdurm as the other Sage inserted himself into the conversation.

_What do you mean?_ asked Starlow to Chakron, before a thought occurred to her. _Wait a minute! Don't tell me… you knew 'Durmite' was Wisdurm all along?_

"_Of course. I am enlightened to the true names of all the Stars who make ripples in the ocean of my mind."_

'_True name'? You mean, 'Durmite' is your true name, Wisdurm?_

"_I told you it was uuuugly,"_ said Wisdurm. _"That's why I took this new name when I decided on my true form. Now I consider 'Wisdurm' to be my true naaaame, thank you very muuuuch. Kindly do not spread it around that I USED to be called 'Durrrrmite'."_

Part of Starlow wanted to respond that after everything Wisdurm had put her through, she hardly owed her mentor any favours, but at that point, Wisdurm decided she had seen enough of the illusions' mettle and brought the battle to a close.

"Guh… Bluh… Gack… Haff…" she pretended to pant, before leaping into the air and in a flash, transforming into the regular butterfly form that Starlow knew well. "Heh heh heh heh…" she laughed quietly. "So you have bested me on the field of baaaaattle. That victory has earned you the right to see me in my true forrrrrrm." She winked at the perplexed humans. "Wellll? Not too bad looking, hmmmm? Heh heh heh heh…"

_Does this mean you're going to cooperate?_ asked Starlow warily.

Not bothering to answer the Sprite, Wisdurm continued to speak to the Mario Bros. "Now thennnn… I am one of the guardians of the Star Cuuures. We Sages knew the day of the Dark Star awakening would come, and so awaited the heeeeroes…"

_Oh really?_ snarked Starlow, but Wisdurm ignored her once more as she spun her own tale for the Mario Bros.

"We have met many times, as you two well rememberrrr… The day Bowser ate me along with the Giga Carrot was the day our fates crosssssed… Heh heh heh heh… It is clear we are connected by a fate that is beyond our poor comprehensionnnn…"

As Wisdurm monologued, it was Chakron who answered the Star Sprite's question. _"An evil of that magnitude cannot be suppressed forever. The Star Cures were created for when it inevitably started to stir once more. My understanding was that they would be used to periodically restore the veil of slumber over the Dark Star before it could fully awaken but it seems the plans have changed…"_

Sensing Chakron's resentment, Starlow tried to talk to Wisdurm again. _Is that true? Are you stalling me on purpose?! Is this REALLY just a way to test my illusions and prepare me to fight the Dark Star, or to make sure I DO face the Dark Star instead of getting there in time to put it to sleep again?! … ANSWER ME!_ Out of desperation, Starlow entered the illusion herself. She wouldn't suddenly drop the bombshell of the full story on Mario and Luigi or anything like that, but it would be harder for Wisdurm to ignore her in front of the Mario Bros. If she couldn't get an explanation, at least she could try to get ahead. "Please! Your…Sageness!" begged Starlow, settling on a far more polite title than she would have used had she still been communicating with a direct mental link. "Please give us the Star Cure so we can stop the Dark Star!"

Wisdurm could sense how loaded Starlow's plea was, but the girl needn't have been so worried, for the Sage really _was_ finished toying with the Mario Bros. "Of coursssssse…" she relented. "Here, take iiiit." She then flew higher, spreading her arms above her and separating the Star Cure from her energy in a shower of sparkles. Starlow nearly gasped when she felt the full force of the Cure, no longer suppressed and hidden by her mentor's essence, and was almost nervous as she watched it float down to Mario's outstretched hands.

The energy flooded through Mario like a wave, spilling out and entering Luigi's being too. Starlow quickly scrambled to get it under control, having no choice but to soak up the extra power herself. Fortunately it wasn't like the power boosts Bowser had received during his adventure: it was pure, harmonious energy and bent to Starlow's will the moment it came in contact with her spirit. It wasn't raw power: it was the refined power of a Star. Mario and Luigi didn't sense anything different as Mario went through the motions of storing the Cure in his hammerspace, but Starlow was tingling all over, and she struggled mightily to keep it from showing in the illusion.

Once she sensed the power of Star Cure safely contained within Starlow and her fellow energy parasites, Wisdurm smiled approvingly. "And so my role here comes to an ennnnnd… Now, please stop following me around. It's creeeeepy… I wish you luck finding the other two Star Cuuuuures…"

_WAIT!_ Resorting to silent communicational again, Starlow decided to try for the truth one last time as Wisdurm started breaking down some walls blocking off a final doorway in preparation to exit the illusion. _You still haven't answered my question! Why are you trying to force me to face the Dark Star!?_

"_It's as Chakron saaaid. The evil will not sleep foreeeever. Rather than slowly depleting the Star Cures to extend the slumber just a little bit longer each time it stirs, we are taking this premature awakening as a chance to DESTROY the eviiiil."_

_I guess that makes sense… But why ME?_

"_Inside Bowser, allied with the Mario Bros., only you are in a position to destroy the Dark Staaar. When the time comes, you will understand whyyyyy. But until then, I will remain within the host to continue monitoring and assisting if need be the caaaase. And apparently, Chakron will be watching as welllll…"_

"_Your resentment whines like the wind through barren and broken fjords,"_ retorted Chakron. _"I would not interfere if the ones setting the challenges were enlightened enough to know what questions they SHOULD be asking."_

"_You say the Stars are disconnected from the worrrrld. But perhaps you've been gazing at the cosmos so long, YOU are the one becoming near-siiighted. What we do here will shape the fuuuture."_

"_The future is shaped by every wave lapping upon the sands of time. There is nothing that can be done without carving patterns in the shoals, and who is to say which design is right or wrong?"_

"_We aaaare. Or would you rather the world live under the constant threat of falling daaarkness?"_

"_Arguing like this is unenlightened,"_ came Chakron's curt response, before he turned his focus back to Starlow, who had been listening to the two Star Sages arguing with wide eyes. Had she not been a pawn in their conflicting master plans, she would have been riveted by a conflict between Star beings as high-ranked and powerful as Wisdurm and Chakron, but as it was, she didn't know what to think. Both had good arguments, but she didn't like feeling like she was being used, and Chakron could sense it. _"Young Star Sprite, remember that there is ALWAYS more to a story than the words of the storyteller. You must learn to listen, but you must also learn to think."_

_What's THAT supposed to mean?_ Just when she was starting to like him, of course he'd have to go and insult her again.

"_Some things, you still have to interpret for yourself. But I AM impressed: you already figured out much of the situation. Unenlightened, yes, but getting brighter… Now, I shall ask Yikk to unlock the door. But the final switch will require Bowser to Ground Pound, and that ability has been suppressed like his firebreath was when I first met him. Please see to it that this is resolved… And now I go."_

Starlow felt Chakron disconnect from her entirely, but her time was up anyway, for Wisdurm had cleared a path and exited the illusion, burying herself in Bowser's ether once more. The Mario Bros. had been standing and watching the butterfly work, oblivious to the argument between her and the unseen Star Sage, but once she disappeared they looked to Starlow for guidance. Pushing aside the questions that still swirled in her mind, she heaved a very real sigh of relief. "Whew! Finally! We got one of the Star Cures… Let's get out of here, what do you say?"

"Oh yeah!" said Mario.

"Okay!" added Luigi.


	46. Body Slam

Chapter 46: Body Slam

As Mario and Luigi hopped up to the door Wisdurm had opened earlier, Starlow created a new illusion for them to enter, while behind the group, the Energy Hold melted into nothingness without Wisdurm's influence keeping it solid anymore. The new area Starlow crafted was a tall chamber with a large central pillar. The Bros. used a cannon pipe sticking out of the ground to launch themselves on top of the pillar, but before they could investigate further, a voice called up from below.

"Mario!" The Bros. turned to see Toadbert walking up to the cannon. Since the Energy Chamber was no more, Starlow had just reconnected her latest illusion to the plain tunnels she had set up for traveling between the illusions, and Toadbert had come across the door almost as soon as it had appeared. "You guys found your way here too, by boogity!" he called up, hopping into the cannon and blasting up onto the pillar with the others. "So I've been investigating this area, and I discovered that this region controls the body slam!"

"Body slam?" said Starlow, suppressing a snort as she entered the illusion. The area hadn't existed until a few moments ago – the Toad was bluffing. But she was surprised he had come so close to naming the area's purpose with his first guess.

"Yes, by boogity! Body slam! If my calculations are correct, the body slam somehow doubles Bowser's weight while airborne. With that doubled weight, Bowser can slam into the ground with incredible force!" Toadbert had read up on all sorts of attacks, but gravity magic was always his favourite, from Flutter Jumps to Ground Pounds to full-on levitation spells. He was sure this area was related to gravity power, and pointed at the dormant energy channels in excitement. "You see those three pressure points? If you stimulate them, you'll awaken the body slam… But right now pressure points aren't active… Stimulating them right now wouldn't have any effect. Something somewhere in this area must activate those pressure points, by boogity! Mario! Luigi! See if you can find something!"

Liar or not, Toadbert was certainly observant: he had figured out exactly what Starlow had planned just with a look. Perhaps if she got into another illusionary tug-of-war with Wisdurm or whoever the next Sage turned out to be, and Chakron wasn't there to force the area to cooperate, Starlow could get Toadbert to figure out how to get around.

Mario and Luigi used their spin jump against a nearby gear made of bones, donating a portion of their still freshly Star Cure-charged energy to Bowser, watching as the charge seemed to flow down the wall and up the pillar, making the three pressure points glow.

Even Bowser took note of the change. After Starlow asked him to turn off the Boo-Ray Machine and fell silent for some time, Bowser gave up on waiting and started to amble around the room, stretching his legs. He was standing in front of Yikk's table, considering whether or not to ask if he could open the door already, when he felt the twinge in his energy and looked down in concern. "Hey! My body feels…not right! What's going on in there?" he murmured out loud, hoping it was just Chippy and not a side-effect of the mysterious light rays he had been bathing in for the better part of the past hour or so.

Inside Bowser's hammerspace, Toadbert was chattering happily over the development. "The pressure points are active! Well done, by boogity! All right! Try stimulating those three pressure points, and we'll see what happens!" The plumbers did as they were told, and one by one, the contact points sent some of their surplus Star Cure energy into a shared power core. Starlow knew a lot of energy and force would be needed to resolve the instability that was blocking Bowser's gravity magic, and once the Bros. had donated a fair share of power, she had the supports of the column they were standing on spark and shatter.

"Ahh!" yelped Luigi.

"Oh no!" cried Mario as the top portion of the pillar began to fall, but it was necessary: it _was_ gravity magic they were dealing with, after all. The conical structure dropped through space and plunged its pointed tip into the core of Bowser's gravity power, injecting the energy from the Mario Bros. in a violent burst that blasted away the instability.

Bowser was _really_ feeling it now. "OOOOOOH!" he growled approvingly. "What's going on?! That feels GREAT! Feels like power is building in my abs!"

"Looks like something's happened to Bowser," smiled Starlow, entering the illusion as Mario and Luigi lay in a heap on the column top, having fallen down right after it.

"Body slam, by boogity!" called Toadbert from above, perched atop a small outcropping that hadn't fallen with the rest of the structure. "I guarantee you he can do body slams now!"

Starlow humoured him with a nod and linked up with Bowser. "Hey! Can you hear me?! You can do body slams!" She winced when she realized she had used Toadbert's term rather than the proper word, but before she could correct herself, Bowser responded.

"Chippy?! What was that? Body slams?" He _knew_ how to do body slams: you grab the opponent and you flop down and flatten them with your belly – simple stuff. But his body was tingling with energy, almost like when he used antigravity magic, and he had a feeling Chippy had something else in mind than a simple brawl tactic. "…What do I do?"

"You, uh… Uhhhh…" But again, before Starlow could backtrack and say she actually meant to say he could use his regular Ground Pounding ability again, she was cut off –by _Toadbert_.

"First you switch actions and press why!"

That advice made _no_ sense, but something else confused Bowser more. "Hey, your voice sounds different!"

"OH NO!" yelped Starlow, trying to force Toadbert out of her link with Bowser. "I mean, no, not at all! Uh, by boogity!" she struggled to cover up the screw-up, scarce believing she had let it happen. Scarcely believing it _could_ happen. Indeed, Toadbert was getting _far_ too good at making sense of Starlow's energy tricks, and although his attempts to talk with Bowser came out a bit glitch, it was still worryingly impressive. The Star Sprite just hoped he didn't figure out it was all an illusion.

Putting that disquieting thought out of her head, she focused on trying to explain away the second voice that spoke to Bowser. "I think I'm catching a cold! Koff! Haaaack! Ptooie! Yuck! Uh… Ahem! Sorry. Yeah. just a cold… Any... Anyway, try the body slam!" She was so flustered, she used the wrong name again, but Bowser had his own idea of what he should try and jumped, pulling into his shell and spinning around in mid-air using his strangely lively gravity magic to keep aloft much longer than he usually could.

"Once you're in the air, press why one more time!" said Toadbert, forcing his way into the conversation again, to Starlow's horror, but Bowser wasn't paying attention as he used a modified version of his usual Ground Pound attack to slam onto the ground. Since his limbs were still in his shell's hammerspace, its protective magic extended down and around his still-exposed torso, making his belly scales hard like a turtle's plastron, rather than their usual draconian pliancy. The result was an even more powerful landing; Bowser could still feel the tremors in the tower's floor as he pulled his head and limbs back out of his hammerspace.

"GAHAHA! I did it! Chippy! That was awesome!" he crowed, before thinking back to her last instructions. "…Yeah, you totally have a cold. Your voice sounds all stuffy." Not to mention the fact that what she told him to do was completely random and not useful at all, but he knew better than to call his gut-dwelling minion 'crazy', lest she decided to take some revenge. Or pass along her cold. Thinking about it some more, it didn't even make much sense for her to have a cold – _he_ wasn't sick so nothing inside him should be sick, right? Shuddering, he decided it was best not to think about it.

Starlow was just relieved Bowser didn't question the cold story. "Yeah, I… I told you I did! It's tough…but I'll soldier on! Anyway, maybe you should try that move out around there?"

"Huh. Yeah. Let's slam something." Bowser grinned, looking around at the breakable machinery. It'd certainly teach Yikk not to pen-up the Koopa King. But then again, Bowser knew better than to pick fights with beings you couldn't kill: while no one seemed to learn that lesson when dealing with _him_, he was wise enough not to pass it along and decided against smashing the undead inventor's equipment. Instead, his eyes settled on an inviting translucent red platform sticking out of the ground. It had an exclamation mark painted on its surface, which was the universal symbol for 'hit me' in the Mushroom World, be it a block that needed striking from below or a switch that needed stomping. While the size of this particular switch suggested that no ordinary stomp could move it, Bowser was confident that his new move would do the trick. And it did.

"Not too shabby!" said Bowser as the wall blocking the doorway slid back into the ground. "I can use this!"

Bowser may have been pleased with how everything turned out, but Starlow had to exercise a lot of restraint to keep from ripping off Toadbert's illusionary head as she dropped back into the Joint Tower area. "Uh…" was all she let herself say.

"That went well, by boogity!" chirped Toadbert from on-high.

"Yeah… Well… Sort of…" replied Starlow, scowling up at him, but he was too far away to notice the look on her face.

"Right, well, I'll keep poking around to see what I can find." He turned around and walked to the edge of his perch. "Bob-ombs… AWAAAAAY!" he shouted as he leapt off the rock, sailing down through the chamber and landing with a dull crunch next to the exit. Starlow winced as she looked down over the edge of the triangular podium, but Toadbert didn't stay down for long. "Yuh… You guys! Good luck!" he said, still sounding dazed as he pushed himself to his feet and scurried away.

"Tougher than he looks." Starlow had to admit, turning as Mario finally roused from his own fall and Bowser's voice came floating back down from the outside.

"I've wasted enough time! To Dimble Wood!" he said, grunting as he stretched out the kinks in his back and took one last look around Yikk's room.

"Aw, but we already got that first Star Cure…" muttered Starlow, although as Mario smiled up at her, she knew it was probably a good thing if Bowser wasted his time by continuing on to Dimble Wood, as it meant he wouldn't be bearing down on them as they went after the next Cure. With everything else going on, competition from her own energy host was the last thing Starlow needed to worry about.


	47. Private Lie

Chapter 47: Private Lie

Bowser blinked as he stepped back into the sunlight, munching on some spicy chicken he had ordered from Broque's Shop Block. Finishing his lunch with the satisfying crunch of bones between his powerful jaws, Bowser then walked over to another switch and body slammed it down, triggering a bridge to form the short expanse between Yikk Island – or whatever its name was – and the mainland. But before he had a chance to even cross over, he spotted something on the other side: a Goomba in blue PJs.

"Is that… HEY! Hey! Minion! Hold up!"

But the Goomba didn't seem to hear him and quickly puttered away, But Bowser followed him, catching up not far from the shoreline. "HEY!" he bellowed. Goomp heard him that time and jumped in surprise and fear, turning to watch as Bowser stomped up to him. "Aren't you Private Goomp?" demanded the Dragon-Koopa.

"Kuh-King Bowser!" stammered Goomp. "You're OK!"

"Of course!" snorted Bowser, before turning and looking around the area expectantly. "Where are the others? What happened to Sergeant Guy and Corporal Paraplonk? Aren't they your unit?"

"Yeah…" said Goomp, turning away from Bowser as he struggled to think of a cover story. "When you got all giant back in Dimble Wood, we kinda panicked and ran to avoid being crushed. So while we were, uh, retreating, we must've gotten separated in the forest somehow… Now it's just me…"

"Oh really…" said Bowser, narrowing his eyes. He didn't know most of his minions by name, but he knew those three, and it hardly seemed likely that they'd let themselves get separated, at least, not for nearly a whole day.

Sensing Bowser's growing suspicion, Goomp hurried to divert his attention. "Sir, what brings you to this area?"

"Uh… Well… It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short."

"Of course," said Goomp.

"Basically, Fawful's not only taken over my castle, but he's also kidnapped Peach and is holed up in _her_ castle with her and this evil thing called the Dark Star, which he wants to use to take over the world. According to some recon I got from the Shy Guy Squad, the little green freak's got the castle surrounded by a forcefield, and the only way to break it down is with three fancy star energy cure things. And so I'm on my way to collect all the Star Cures."

Sensing an opportunity, Goops jumped with excitement. "Oh, hey, wait! Those Star Cures, do they look anything…" Using the innate magic of all armless creatures, Goomp pulled out a pie of paper and hastily scrawled a picture of a circle with a star inside. He held it up to Bowser. "Like this?"

Bowser scowled at the crude drawing. "… I dunno… I've never seen one." _And even if I HAD, I doubt it'd look anything like THAT crap,_ he added in his head. But he was curious about why the name seemed to ring a bell in the Goomba and decided to humour him. "Probably, though. Why do you know about it?"

"Sir! I can report that there is a Star Cure in Bowser Castle!" said Goomp, grinning at the good fortune. "I heard some guy named Kuzzle on Plack Beach gave it to you for doing a puzzle? I thought that was probably garbage and that you'd just stolen it since you're awesome. But either way, it's definitely in the underground treasure chamber of Bowser Castle."

"…Really? Hmm…" Bowser crossed his arms and started tapping his foot as he thought about it. He _had_ come through that corner of the Mushroom Kingdom not too long ago – the previous week, actually. And he _did_ vaguely remember that there had been some treasure 'collecting' as part of that visit. "Now that you mention it… Yeah… Maybe that DID happen…"

"FYI! FYI! FYI!" Bowser and Goomp turned as a small white bird flew into sight. It had a crystal ball slung under its breast, and as it hovered at the edge of the meadow, the sphere started to glow. "Message for Mr. Mario, Mr. Luigi, and Mr. Violent Face-Puncher!" said the bird. "Now connecting to Dr. Toadley in Toad Town! Please give your attention!"

"Ah… Check one! Hello?" came the sound of Dr. Toadley as his face appeared in the crystal. "…Aha! Are we connected? …Ahem. Have I just discovered the identity of the second sage? I certainly have. The second sage is a sea Koopa named Kuzzle who lives on Plack Beach."

Bowser laughed aloud. "GAHAHA! Brilliant! Sounds like that guy's Star Cure is already in my castle!"

But Toadley's next words cut short the celebration. "And did I see that Mario and Luigi got the first Star Cure already? Indeed I did. Congratulations!"

"WHAT?!" snarled Bowser as the bird flew away. "You gotta be kidding me! They got to it first?! That's IT! I've GOTTA get that second Star Cure! I'm making for Bowser Castle! The cure's in the underground treasure chamber, right?"

"Yes, sir!" said Goomp.

"Great! I'm gone! To Bowser Castle!" Goomp jumped out of the way as Bowser started charging forward, but he had only gone a few steps when he abruptly spun back around on his heel. "What's your plan?"

"I… Uh…" stammered Goomp as Bowser stared down at him, one bushy eyebrow raised expectantly. "Once I find Sergeant Guy and Corporal Paraplonk, we'll head straight for your castle…"

Again, Bowser couldn't help but find it odd that Goomp _hadn't_ found them already, but he didn't have time to waste on one weirdo minion. Goomp could join all the other Goombas and ditch the Koopa King, for all Bowser cared at that point. "Fine! Whatever!" he barked, the vitriol in his voice making Goomp jump and run off without another word. In truth, he really _was_ planning to find the others and hurry to Bowser's Castle: since Fawful and Midbus were inside the Dark Star barrier, it was up to operatives like Goomp and his friends to continue the work afield. In fact, one task they had been charged with had been locating Bowser, and now Goomp knew exactly where the Dragon-Koopa was and where he was going. Perhaps now that they had turned their back on the evil King of the Koopas, the Stars had decided to bless Goomp and his friends with some good luck for a change.

Only believing Goomp to be a lazy coward, and not a traitorous liar, Bowser watched him run off with a scowl, before continuing on himself. Inside him, Starlow was even less suspicious of Bowser's minion and simply turned to the Mario Bros. with a sigh "The second Star Cure is at Bowser Castle, huh… Guess we should leave this one to Bowser for now…" She didn't like waiting idly, but she was also a bit relieved that she had an excuse to keep the Bros. dormant and safe inside Bowser for a little while. She wanted to give it more time for the Star Cure's energy to acclimate to her and the brothers' essences before she tried projecting them outside of their host, and while she would have pushed her luck for the sake of the mission, she was glad she no longer had to make that call.

She didn't even have to worry about returning to Toad Town to update Toadley, as the good doctor had evidently observed the Star Cure's transfer of ownership in his crystal ball. Starlow was a bit surprised that he had also known to send is bird messenger to Bowser in order to get his message to the Mario Bros., but then again, now that she thought about it, they _had_ explicitly told him the first Sage was inside Bowser. With any luck, he'd just assume they were all eaten like the Sage, but he was a sharp one, and like Toadbert, Starlow just prayed to Star Haven that he didn't figure out the real story.

Trying to think positively instead, Starlow reminded herself that at least Bowser should be able to get the second Cure fairly quickly, seeing as it was in his castle and there was no Sage around to stall for time. Starlow wasn't even worried about the prospect of the Cure having to go through Bowser's hammerspace before she could nab it: if it was anything like the first one, its power would be able to resist the tarnishing shadows of Bowser's soul, and either way, speed was still the name of the game. Her positive thinking drained away as her mind drifted back to the quandary that dwarfed any Toadbert or Toadley concerns she had. While part of her knew it _would_ be better in the long run if the Dark Star was destroyed, a larger part of her was scared stiff at the prospect of facing it once it had fully awakened. She'd fight it if she had to, but for now, she still hoped that it wouldn't come to that. She was, after all, just a Star Sprite, and for all her bravado, deep down, she couldn't help but agree with Chakron. She was unenlightened – she wasn't ready.


	48. Going Under

Chapter 48: Going Under

Bowser decided that his underground path would be the best way to get to his castle and struck out eastwards towards Bumpsy Plains, finding a Chakroad along the way to help cut out much of the walk. It was still early afternoon when Bowser entered the hidden cave, and in too much of a rush for a snack, he strode right past the Shop Block. The Chakroad wasn't the only kind of warp point Bowser had at his disposal, for in the bottom chamber of the path was a Warp Pipe transfer point. None of the pipes destined for penetrating deeper into the Mushroom-held lands had been installed yet, but the one leading back to Bowser's castle _had_. It was a complex system, however, technically made out of two Warp Pipes: one leading from the cave to the castle's landing pad, and the other connecting that one to the inside. The two pipes had to sit flush against each other, and while they had been functioning before Fawful got a hold of Bowser's castle, he couldn't be sure the little Bean's rocket modifications hadn't misaligned the system, damaged the incoming pipe, or even displaced the castleboard pipe.

The day before, Bowser had decided against gambling on the finicky double Warp Pipe system the day before, but he was on a much tighter schedule this time. While the Mario Bros. didn't know where exactly in Sky Land Bowser had been landing his castle last time he checked, they had a knack for tracking down his strongholds, and he didn't want to risk losing the second Cure to them. With that in mind, he walked to the chamber directly above the Warp Pipe station; while the elevator that would eventually lead down there wasn't made yet, the hole was.

Using his fancy new body slam, Bowser smashed clear through the boarded up hole and continued through the rest of the temporary barriers too, swiftly breaking into the bottom chamber. To his pleasure, he found the Warp Pipe functioning perfectly and the next thing he knew, he was in his castle. The Pipe was blocked off by a raised drawbridge-like set of stairs, but Bowser cleared the way with a single punch.

"You look like a fine fellow who feels like feasting on a fresh, fudgy Fawful cookie!" chirped the hypnotized Paratroopa manning the concession stand at the foot of the stairs. Bowser scowled: that _used_ to be where Terrapin, Terra Cotta and Koopatrol armour was distributed to his Koopa Troop members. If he wasn't racing against the clock, he would have loved to take a couple hours and personally torch everything Fawful had done to the place, but instead he simply growled and moved along.

"Welcooooome, dear guest! Welcome to Fawful Theater!"

"Seeing Lord Fawful from the front row was the coolest!"

"Hey, old angry dude! You nab yourself Lord Fawful's autograph? Huh? You didn't? Y'know, big guy, you are soooo GIGA LAME!"

Bowser gritted his teeth; the mind-washed 'patrons' of the'theater' were even more annoying than the Paratroopa. Fortunately, he was able to get away from the main hallway fairly soon, and for the most part, his walk to the entrance to the underground was undisturbed. But his trouble wasn't quite over.

"Whoa whoa WHOA! What's the deal here?" he snarled as he caught sight of the metal plate bolted over the hole that used to lead to the elevator platform to the basement. "The passage to the underground is blocked! Stupid…Fawful…" Bowser tried body slamming through the plate, but to no avail, and snarling with frustration, he smashed apart the nearest breakable object he could find. And to his surprise, a Chakroad appeared. _Great, where were you when I needed you two hours ago – or yesterday, for that matter_, he thought, scowling at the portal – but he supposed it _would_ be handy to be able to return to his castle in a flash with Peach and Dark Star once Fawful was taken care of. Assuming he found a Chakroad at Mushroom Castle too, of course, otherwise he'd still have to do some walking.

Thoughts of his eventual victory cooled Bowser's temper enough for him to notice sounds coming from further along the corridor, and he continued onwards, suddenly finding himself confronted with more minions, these ones riding in menacing robots. Bowser ducked into his shell as the Jailgoons fired at him with the cannons that made up their right arms. _Again with the cannonballs,_ he thought to himself darkly as the robots charged, but a couple swift punches broke them apart. Then, to Bowser's surprise, rather than continuing the attack or fleeing in fear, the Bob-omb and Goomba that had been inside the robots jumped for joy.

Bowser raised an eyebrow. Had they been too resilient to mind-control and thrown in the sentient robots as makeshift prisons, or did being knocked around by his punches snap them out of it? They both tossed him healing Mushrooms before scampering away without a word, which was irritating, but then again, it's not like Bowser _wanted_ a crowd of minions following him around anyway. And he supposed thank-you Mushrooms _were_ better than nothing, and munched on the gifts as he continued on with his wanderings. To his chagrin, the second pathway to the underground was knocked out, so he decided to head up to the throne room, hoping that familiar surroundings might help him figure out a third way into the underground.

He freed a couple more minions on the way up, but the throne room itself was abandoned. Bowser looked wistfully at his throne, but just because Fawful and Midbus had left it completely intact didn't mean he'd go easy on them when he finally caught them. One spared indignity didn't change the fact that the rest of the castle had been mutilated by Fawful's image. The carpets, the drapery…

Bowser shook his head in disgust. No, there was no way he could concentrate with _that_ decorum lining the throne room. Instead he turned and wandered onto the balcony, sighing as he saw that even _that_ wasn't Fawful-free.

"Oh man, nice statue!" he jeered as he walked up to the massive stone sculpture of Fawful. "Talk about tacky! SMASH TIME!" But just as he pulled back his fist, a thought occurred to Bowser. _Hmm… Wait…_ He peered around the statue at the far end of the balcony. The currently out-of-service elevator platform didn't just go to the basement – it could also come up to the top floor of the castle: it was all aligned. _Right below here… The underground's that way…_ Bowser stifled a giddy grin as he slammed his fist into his hand with excitement – rather than driving him to distraction, Fawful's decorations had given Bowser an idea. Lining himself up with the far edge of the balcony, Bowser started pushing, grunting from the effort as the statue slowly started to slide across the stones. "HRRRRRGH!"

"OH NO!"

"Oh, not good! Fawful's statue!"

The two Goombas had seen a few Koopa Troop loyalists running free of their Jailgoons and had come to investigate the reason why, just in case, but they hadn't actually anticipated running into _Bowser_. "Midbus and Fawful aren't here, man! We're the only ones who can stop this!" said the first Goomba.

"Dude… What?! He's too strong!" said the second one in alarm. These Goombas hadn't been hypnotized into forgetting their old leader: they knew very well who Bowser was and what he was capable of.

"Get the gang in the castle! HURRY!" barked the first Goomba. His second-in-command jumped and ran back inside as fast as his little legs could carry him. The interim director of Fawful Theater then turned back to the troublesome Koopa King. "Here goes!" he cried, running forward and butting against the statue. Alone, he knew it was futile and the statue kept sliding, but soon he was joined by his assistant, another Goomba and a group of Shy Guys, Paratroopas, Dry Bones and Boos. Together, they managed to slow, stop and then reverse Bowser's progression along the balcony.

"Open your eyes, minions!" snarled the Dragon-Koopa, but it was no use.

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" came the only reply.

"THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME!" bellowed Bowser.

_Evidently they can_, thought Starlow as Bowser continued losing ground, but she wasn't cruel and brought the Mario Bros. to her Leg Outpost illusion. With extra energy from the Bros., Bowser gained the upper hand.

"HOLD FAST!" called the lead Goomba in desperation.

"HRRRRRGH!" shuddered Bowser, steadily pushing the statue and the crowd of minions closer and closer to the brink.

"Everyone push at once! We can do this!" called the Goomba as he felt the parapet at his groups' backs, but it was no use and with a final surge from Mario and Luigi, Bowser shoved the statue clear through the barrier.

"OH YEAH!" he cheered as the statue toppled backwards, the traitorous Goombas, Shy Guys and Dry Bones falling with it while the Paratroopas and Boos saved their own skins and flew away. Bowser felt a small pang of regret about what befell the fallen troopers, but reassured himself that Fawful probably used minions who were traitors of their own volition to guard the captured castle. After all, the hypnotized ones were pretty useless, if Bowser's experience in the 'theater' were any indication.

Either way, he'd have time to worry about that sort of fallout later, and putting those thoughts out of his head, he leaped off the balcony after the statue. Sure, he could have walked down to the main floor, but this way was faster and Bowser knew he was tough enough to weather the landing even from the greater height. He tucked into his shell before he hit, letting his magic protect him as he smashed the cracked statue to smithereens beneath him.

He popped his head and arms back out of his hammerspace, perfectly unscathed, and not even sparing a glance at the rubble all around him, he marched on ahead. After a short stretch in the tunnels he came to one of the inner lava chambers. The area he was in was used as an obstacle course to try slow and the Mario Bros. when the castle was used as a base in Bowser's kidnapping schemes (rather than as a secret rendezvous point as it had been used this time). Since Bowser hadn't been anticipating a plumber incursion, the underground area was relatively straightforward and devoid of traps meant for the fleet-footed brothers, which was fortunate for the lumbering Koopa King.

In fact, the only opposition he actually met as he traversed the conveyer belts, scaffolding and rocky pathways were a couple more Jailgoons and sick Thwomps. As before, Bowser freed the minions imprisoned in the robots and did his best to subdue the Sniffle Thwomps before they could get close enough to sneeze on him. Or crush him, but the thick-shelled Koopa felt the germy globs of snot were the worse of the two possible assaults on his person.

However the Thwomps and Jailgoons weren't the only things waiting for Bowser, and after crossing a long wooden bridge Bowser was met with a deafening chorus of voices.

"HE'S HEEERE!"

"BOWSER'S HEEEERE!"

"FINALLY!"

Bowser blinked in surprise at the cage of Bob-ombs: he hadn't expected to find large amounts of minions down in the lava pools, but he supposed Fawful could have put them there as reserves for his Jailgoons. Bowser didn't really care about the 'why', of course, and simply walked over and smashed the cage open.

"FREEE!"

"YESSSS!"

"AT LAST!"

"HE DID IT!"

The excited Bob-ombs streamed across the platform, running every which way as Bowser swiveled around in their midst, all of them cheering for their freedom.

"WOO!"

"WOO!"

"WOO!"

"Hey! Guys! Minions! Calm down!" beseeched Bowser, but to no avail.

"WOO!"

"WOO!"

"CHILL!" Bowser was starting to get angry now.

"WOO!"

Before he could stop himself, Bowser spat out a stream of fire, hoping to catch the Bob-ombs' attention, but all he did was light the nearest one's fuse. "AAAACK!" he yelped as the pulsating Bob-omb spread the fire to the next one. And the next one. And the next one. Bowser lunged for the pathway and ducked into his shell just as explosions started to envelop the rocky plateau, hoping he wouldn't be sent skyward again. Fortunately, fully sentient Bob-ombs were not nearly as destructive as their inanimate cousins, and Bowser was left intact and in place.

Pulling out of his shell and straightening up, Bowser looked back at the charred and smoking pile of minions with a sigh. When living Bob-ombs detonated themselves, they could usually keep the explosion minor enough to keep themselves from getting knocked out, but the chain-reaction hadn't exactly been under control, and Bowser could tell that the squad would be out of commission for a while. But he didn't have time to wait, and with a shrug, continued on, hoping at least some of them would wake up sooner than later and get their comrades to safety before the traitors and their brainwashed partners in crime could discover and recapture the loyal Bob-ombs.

The next area had more Bob-ombs, these ones without thinking powers, which merely came marching out of strange Fawful-decorated spawning machines and forced Bowser to use his gravity magic to lengthen his spinning body slam move and hover over them as they walked two-by-two down the narrow walkways. Annoying, but passable. The thicker platforms had more Jailgoons too, now accompanied by Fawfulized Magikoopas. Bowser figured the wizards needed more than basic hypnotism to be turned into his enemy's goons, and once more, his thoughts drifted to Kamek and what may have become of him. But one thing was for sure: Bowser's advisor would have been able to resist whatever twisted magic had transformed the Magifoofas, dulling their powers as well as their minds and allowing for Bowser to send them flying with mere kicks of his feet.

Bowser soon left the lava pools behind, finally getting close to his destination. He passed his Preservation Chamber, where Kamek, Koopa scientists and even Bowser himself stored any interesting things (besides treasure) that they discovered during Bowser's raids on the Mushroom Kingdom. There were a few frozen specimens in there that Kamek had traded for recently, in fact, and the Magikoopa was quite excited about it and kept pestering Bowser to let him park the castle at the University of Koopa back in Dark Land to transfer them to a more secure facility, but the king always just waved him off. After all, the underground portion of the castle was nearly impervious: it could even survive if the castle crashed, as it had last time the Koopas came up against Fawful. The rest of the building had gone through a few remodeling over the years, but the core remained the same. _Bowser_ trusted that his treasure would always be safe in the castle, and he never understood why Kamek didn't feel the same way about his frozen, purple mushroom things.

Whatever they were – Bowser always tuned out when Kamek tried to talk about them. And he wasn't about to start caring about them now as he continued on, pummeling more enemies as he came to the final stretch. And stopped dead in his tracks.

_What the crap is this?_ Bowser scowled at the strange U-shaped rail-platform thing that had been set up where the stairs should be. Catching sight of a shiny new sign, he walked over to the wall for a closer look.

"_The latest kingdom fad! It's Seesaw Fit! Bowser castle debut!_" read the sign.

_What. The crap._

Nevertheless Bowser kept reading. _"…blah blah blah… Slam your past regrets! Slam your bad memories! …blah blah blah… Both stress and unwanted fat will slam away!_" He snorted. 'Slam away' wasn't even a real phrase, and his troops didn't _need_ exercise. And now the fads weren't just being preachy about physical health, but mental health as well. No, Bowser's unwanted stress would 'slam' away when he smashes apart every last thing that Fawful had installed in his poor castle. Even the rockets: Bowser'd use his _own_ technology to make his castle fly, thank you very much.

With a huff, Bowser jumped onto the platform: without the stairs, he had no choice but to use the ridiculous thing. But with his body slam, he made quick work of the obstacle and was off once more. Avoiding the last couple Sniffle Thwomps, Bowser entered the lava-filled hallway leading to his treasure room. The chamber was locked, but Bowser knew the combination and used his strength to punch a set of iron balls into the appropriate reciprocals. With a chime, the door slid open and Bowser couldn't help but voice his pleasure over his impending victory. "Ah, the room where I keep my sweetest stolen treasures… This is one place that stupid Fawful NEVER could break into!"

He was in for a surprise.


	49. Tricks and Tracks

Chapter 49: Tricks and Tracks

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Bowser at the sight of the train tracks running straight through his treasure chamber. "WHAAAAAAAAT? HOW?! WHO?! WHY?!"

As Bowser's echoing rage turned to feeble disbelief and confusion, Goomp decided it would be safe to come out and called to the king from the hallway. "Your surliness!" When he entered the room, he saw that Bowser had moved from the entrance and was now standing on the tracks themselves, bewilderedly looking down the tunnel that had been bored through his castle. Unsympathetic to the notoriously greedy and avaricious king's plight, Goomp continued. "I found Sergeant Guy and Corporal Paraplonk!"

On cue, Goomp's friends also appeared out of the shadows. "King Bowser! Awesome seeing you again, sir!" said Paraplonk.

"Our sweep of the castle indicates it is intact, sir!" reported Sgt. Guy.

"Intact?! Look at this train track!" said Bowser incredulously as the threesome walked up to him.

"Whoa! Who put a train track down here?" gasped Goomp, feigning ignorance as he and the others pretended to peer down the tunnels in shock.

Before Bowser could respond, a voice echoed down through one of the tunnels, "Next stop… Bowser Castle…" Bowser and the others turned and watched a light slowly rolling down the tracks, soon revealing itself to be a massive train with a massive Fawful face painted on it. Bowser took a step back as it ground to a halt in front of him, noting out of the corner of his eye that his three 'loyal' minions all scattered when the train drew near. With the coast clear, the three immediately returned to Bowser's side, while the train's loudspeaker hissed to life once more. "Now arriving at the always-run-down-falling-apart-dirty-nasty-thanks-t o-Bowser Castle!"

Bowser's eye narrowed at the insult, and he watched with barely contained fury as the four Monty Moles he had encountered earlier that same day hopped out of the locomotive. "Hey! It's you idiots! Explain all this NOW!" he snarled, stepping off the tracks and glowering at the mammals.

"Yeah… Well, bro…" started one mole, but the Lead cut him off.

"As you can see, the secret tunnel project you ordered is finally finished, broski!" he said, smirking up at Bowser. He wasn't going to cower from the Dragon-Koopa anymore: those days were over, and there was a new boss in town. And his manic smiling face was on the train beside the moles.

The other moles caught onto their leader's bravado and started joining in. "Yeah, remember, brotown? You helped us drill this tunnel!" said the mole in the back, savouring the irony.

"Bah!" spat Bowser. "I mean, I DID, but… I don't remember telling you to build a railway directly into me SECRET TREASURE CHAMBER!"

"Bro!" snorted the last mole to speak up. "This secret tunnel got bought out by the Fawful Foundation! It was a buyout, brodington! Get me? A BUYOUT!"

Emboldened by the others, the first mole spoke again. "Thanks to the sweet cash infusion, we outsourced the hole drilling to some other bros."

"So now we're elite employees of Lord Fawful! The salary's great, brodie! Insane benefits!" The Lead Mole sneered at Bowser. _Any_ benefits would be an improvement to the contract they had had under the Koopa Kingdom: build the tunnel and get paid a few coins or don't build anything and get broiled in dragon fire.

Bowser was already starting to look murderous, but the Monty Bros. weren't quite done rubbing their new allegiance in the Koopa King's face. "Trust me, this Fawful Express that Lord Fawful built is SUPER awesome," said the mole in the back, barely stopped himself from sniggering as he continued. "Wanna ride, brotron? Although… Come to think of it, bro, it's a pretty pricey ticket. Maybe too posh for you."

"Even if you sold this cruddy old castle…you still can't afford it!" added the last mole, before he and the other three finally lost their composure and laughed as a unit.

"WAHAHAHA!"

They then leapt back onto the train as the predicable blast of fire came shooting out of Bowser's mouth. "TREASON!" he roared after them.

"King Bowser! Sir! You'd better not make enemies of those guys!" said Goomp, hurrying in front of Bowser to preclude him from giving chase.

"Yeah, for real!" nodded Paraplonk, watching the moles take their places back at the controls of the train. "Besides, uh, didn't you come here looking for a Star Cure?"

"Oh yeah! The Star Cure!" grunted Bowser, looking back at the Paratroopa. "It must be in this room!" _Unless those idiot moles blasted it away when they dug their stupid tunnel_, he added to himself, still planning on making the traitors pay.

"The Star Cure must be…" murmured Sgt. Guy, circling past Paraplonk. "It must be secured in that safe, sir!"

"Safe? Where?" demanded Bowser, and as the Shy Guy had hoped, he charged forward, forcing Paraplonk aside as he stepped onto the tracks and stood in front of the sergeant, peering at the safe sticking out of a mound of gold and jewels. "That?" he asked, but confirmation never came.

"All aboard Fawful Express!" called the Lead Mole, for as soon as the trio got Bowser back in position, he and his boys had kicked the train back in gear.

Bowser barely had time to turn to face the locomotive before it slammed into him, forcing the air out of his lungs with a "NOOOF!"

The train barreled through the tunnel and through a short concrete pipe that had been installed to keep the interface between the castle and the surrounding rock immobile. Clearly, Fawful did not intend for his 'theater' to fly anywhere anymore, but Bowser didn't have time to consider what it'd take to patch the holes drilled through his fortress as the train took a steep downward turn and picked up speed, roaring under the lava flows as it curved northwest, away from the volcanic region of Sky Land.

Starlow had been keep an eye on what Bowser had been up to, and she recognized a bad situation when she saw it even before the train started using Bowser as a battering ram for the boulders that were still littering the track. Bowser roared in pain with each impact, but it wasn't just physical discomfort that wracked his body: his shell couldn't take the strain. If the onslaught kept up, Bowser would be in serious trouble, and as hairline fractures started to creep into the bony plating that housed the energy keeping everyone alive, Starlow got to work.

This wasn't going to be like last time, with the Tower of Yikk. It wasn't going to be like the fight with Bowser's Castle either. No, Starlow was not going to be taken by surprise, and she was NOT going to need help this time. She was still mad at Wisdurm for all the deception, and she didn't want to go crawling back to the butterfly. She had let Chakron help her before, but now she was determined to show him and Wisdurm and the Stars above what she was made of.

She just needed Bowser to hold out a bit longer: if his shell broke while they were still under the mountains of Sky Land, they were in trouble. She called upon the reserves of energy Bowser had gotten from the Mushrooms his liberated minions had thrown him and used the power to reinforce Bowser's shell, artificially hardening it. It didn't stop the pain, but it stopped the damage from spreading. Even so, Starlow roused the Mario Bros. and told them to head for the Rump Command, knowing they'd be needed for another surge of energy before too long.

As the train burst into sunlight at the edge of Sky Land, north of Bumpsy Plains, Bowser decided he had enough and started trying to dig his heels in even as the train continued to smash him into rocks. While Starlow was getting ready for the inevitable, Bowser saw no reason to believe he _couldn't_ stop a giant train and roared with the effort as he struggled to slow the machine.

The Monty Bros. grinned, letting the locomotive lose speed even as they approached what they had been waiting for: a rock so large and so hard, their contractors hadn't been able to blast through it on their own. The Monty Moles had been gearing up to use their digging expertise to remove the last obstacle to the revised Project K ("Project K Version F") when they heard from Goomp that Bowser was headed straight for their surface connection in the treasure room, and had decided to leave the wall. Just in case the regular boulders weren't enough to dispatch their former Koopa King for their new Beanish Lord.

Bowser didn't look behind him as he strained against the train. He didn't know he had been set up all along, and he didn't realize the moles were simply toying with him as the train shuddered and slowed. All he really thought was that he was going to beat the machine, clobber the moles and go back for the Star Cure, but when an errant rock knocked his feet out from under him, the long walk back was immediately the least of his concerns. "Doh!" came his surprised croak as the train suddenly accelerated, but to Bowser, the world was moving in slow motion as the train pushed his back against the wall, cracking rock and bone alike.

But Starlow was waiting for that, and forced the energy that tried to escape through the fractured shell to feed back into the Dragon-Koopa. Had she been present in her illusion, she would have screamed from the effort, but as it was, the Mario Bros. knew what to do without her and were already sailing down the adrenaline channel. The balls of broiling energy came fast and hard, and the origin wasn't Wisdurm this time, it was Bowser himself. Starlow was just barely able to give the energy form as it ripped through her and entered the illusion. Unlike before, Bowser's Near Immortal body wasn't starving for energy – the damage was far too grievous. He wasn't struggling to survive, he was dying. Had Starlow not been there to catch the energy it would have dissipated right then and there, taking all the other souls with it, but not on her watch.

It took every last bit of effort to keep control of the hurricane of chaos and pain swirling around the illusion she struggled to maintain around the Mario Bros., but she wouldn't give up on herself again. She wouldn't sacrifice her own energy to try and force another Star's hand: she wouldn't be a lamb for slaughter. If she was going to go out, she'd go out fighting, and either way, it wouldn't be some stupid, random Monty Moles that did her in. She was a Star, and she was going to shine.


	50. Railroad Rumble

Chapter 50: Railroad Rumble

"Bro, was Bowser a pushover or what?" snorted the Lead Mole, smirking out the front windows of the train at the rock face.

"Totally. Lord Fawful is gonna be loving us," agreed his companion.

"I mean, you compare Bowser to the Fawful Express, and it's like, 'Broski. Dude is PUNY'," he continued, turning to grin at his friend.

"BAHAHAHAHAHA!" they cackled together, but their celebration was short lived as the train suddenly gave a lurch back.

"Uh oh… What in the…" muttered the Lead Mole, falling silent as a wall of fire replaced the view outside, blowing clear through the glass as the ground shook and a roaring filled the air. But what they saw next was even worse than the fire, for when the flames abated, they were replaced by a monstrous pair of eyes.

The moles jumped and fled to the back of the cab of the train as the now-giant Bowser glared through the windows, licks of fire still wafting off his scales in the aftermath of his fastest and most violent growth spurt yet. As they ran, the moles flicked a switch that made the train spring into the air and turn around, but while Bowser was still a bit light-headed, he was lucid enough to know that there was no way he was letting the traitors get away. With an echoing snarl he reached forward and grabbed onto the train, yanking it backwards as he pushed himself to his feet.

Still feeling the after-effects of having so much energy escape the reserves in his shell, Bowser staggered forward over the train, releasing it as he struggled to regain his balance. The moles shrieked as they were tossed about inside the train, which was now using automatic systems to locate track to run on. It reversed across the bumpy, fractured ground that had used to be the rock wall, now completely pulverized by Bowser's explosive increase in size. Bowser caught sight of the retreating train and stomped after it, but once the train reached the next leg of track, the automated system shut off and it merely sat idly on the rails.

Feeling the ominous 'boom's of Bowser's approaching footsteps, the Lead Mole pushed himself off the floor of the locomotive and ran to the top hatch. "BRO NO!" he screamed in terror as he stood panicking on the roof, staring up at the Dragon-Koopa now dwarfing his train. Before Bowser made his next move, the Lead dived back into the train, hitting the emergency reverse again.

"Danger, bros! What do we do?" radioed one of the moles in the back of the train, now getting a look at the frightful Koopa King for himself.

"It's all good, bro! Check it out!" said the Lead mole, grabbing the controls of the train and bringing up a display of the track layout on both his own dashboard and the other screens installed around the Fawful Express. "Brodingtons! Look! Over there! A rickety bridge! That thing will collapse under this guy's bulk! And then he'll fall allllllllll the way down into the valley." He grinned, glad that they hadn't quite cleared all of Sky Land at that point, for that would be the last major river crossing until the line reached Toad Town. He supposed luck was on their side now that they had turned their backs on the calamitous Koopa Kingdom, and he tried to spread his confidence to his crew. "This big dude is going DOWN!"

"Nice, big bro! Total genius!" replied the mole in the back.

"Let's cruise straight for the bridge station! If we can pass that station, we win, bro!" agreed the second cockpit mole hurrying up next to his leader once more.

"Distance to the bridge station is 100 kilomoles!" said the Lead as he started revving up the engine.

"He's coming! MOVE!" yelped the Monty Mole in the very back, and the leader floored it. But while Bowser was no long-distance runner, he wasn't a slouch when it came to short-term bursts of speed and was able to keep pace with the train. The Lead Mole gritted his teeth as he urged the train to go faster, but it had experienced a massive energy surge when Bowser grew and was still feeling the after-effects. As the Fawful Express neared a hastily-constructed waystation, he had no choice but to let the train clatter to a halt, lest the engine overheated.

"We stopped! Everything OK?" it was the fourth mole, also stationed in the back, who spoke this time.

"Worry not, broskis! That guy's punch is no prob!" said the Lead, hiding his frustration in order to keep the other moles' morale up. Besides, he wasn't lying: the train was built too strongly for Bowser to dent – as the Lead noted during his brief hop onto the roof, the Dragon-Koopa hadn't even scratched it when he grabbed it earlier. The only problem was the overheating engine, and before he could stop himself, the Lead said as much aloud and over the intercom. "Unless he spits fire, we'll take ZERO damage!"

The mole beside him shot the Lead a worried look, but the ones in back didn't know the status of the locomotive and the response was cheery. "Niiiiice, big bro! I can already hear the dude crying!"

But Bowser wasn't crying, and as soon as he came in range of the train he blasted it. The moles cried out as fire engulfed the train and one of the ones in the back hurried to the middle of the car, opening the doors and sending out a dozen Choombas to try and distract the Dragon-Koopa. He even threw out a few massive Mushrooms, but Bowser wouldn't fall for the same trick twice and simply stomped them along with the enemies, not letting any of them get close enough to land an attack.

As he spat another flare at the Fawful Express, the lead mole decided waiting was even riskier than pushing the engine and pulled out of the station. However, as he feared, it didn't get far before warning lights started blaring and he slowed down. But Bowser was on top of them one again, and this time his fire did some real damage, with explosions rocking the train. Using more Choombas as cover, the traitors tried to escape once more, this time not slowing until after they had passed through a tunnel. Of course, they didn't trust that the rocky mountain alone would enough cover and launched a missile at Bowser, but even that wasn't enough as Bowser punched clear through the rock before the missile had a chance to curve back down and hit him.

Moaning, the Monty Bros. took off again with Bowser in pursuit, backlit by the explosion made by the missile hitting the ground. He sneered as the moles limped their train towards the next hill. It didn't matter what they tried: he was bursting with fiery energy and felt like he could go at it for hours. _Chippy's really outdone herself this time_, he thought to himself, not knowing that the reason for his heightened power was because most of the surplus energy had been his own, rather than a handout from Wisdurm, with the energy donated by the Mario Bros. having already been used up in the initial burst of growth and healing. As she watched her handiwork in action, even Starlow was taken aback by just how potent Bowser's raw power could be.

Bowser's confidence in himself didn't even waver when the next hill miraculously stood up, sprouting arms legs and even a pair of eye spots, although the eyes in and of themselves were pretty standard in the Mushroom Kingdom. The rest of the animate hill, not so much, and Starlow and Bowser stared at it in confusion.

_When did Fawful have time to turn a hill into a robot?_ Wondered Bowser, before shrugging and blasting the hill with a fireball, setting fire to its covering of grass and shrubs.

Starlow, on the other hand, could sense that it was no robot. It was a spell that was making the hill move. A powerful one, which surprised her coming from Fawful. _Maybe he had those Magifoofas do it… _ she wondered as Bowser used a flurry of smaller fireballs to blast away a swarm of demonic clouds with Fawful-like faces that came at him, some of them crackling with lightning meant for the Dragon-Koopa while others used rain to try and put out the fires covering the hill. Unlike Starlow, Bowser didn't care who or what was behind the latest attack and started whaling on the hill, pushing back as it tried to plough into him. Soon he sent it sliding into another spiky spire of rocks and before it could recover, he had obliterated it with a particularly vicious blast of fire.

The Monty Moles had hoped to use the magically animated hill (controlled by some Magifoofas they had onboard, as Starlow had suspected) as cover to let them do some hasty repairs, but as Bowser made short work of the distraction, they had no choice but to fire up the engine and flee once again. They fired more missiles back at Bowser as he pummeled the latest obstacle, and while one hit its mark, Bowser had broken through the rocks in no time. The moles were getting desperate now, and next time they were forced to stop by the failing engine, they decided to take the matters of defense into their own hands.

Bowser snorted in amusement as all four of the traitorous Monty Bros. flew out of the Fawful Express, using jetpacks to hover above the train defensively, clutching small Fa-Bombs. The Lead Mole was the first to charge, zooming towards Bowser, intent on using the bomb to deal some damage, but the Koopa King swatted him back with a single punch. His aim was good, too, and the flailing Monty Mole careened into the other three, knocking them all out of the air and sending their Fa-Bombs cascading down onto their own train.

They were the ones crying now as they saw the damage they had caused in their own desperation, and scurried back into the train. The bridge was so close now, they couldn't give up, and throwing caution to the wind, the Lead gunned it. But Bowser wasn't going to let them get away, and just as the Fawful Express reached the bridge, he took it out with a final burst of firebreath. The moles fled the burning wreck in a panic, and Bowser watched with satisfaction as they were buried in shrapnel that had been sent sailing in the final explosion of the Fawful Express.

And not a moment too soon, for that last fireball had used the last of Bowser's energy and he shrunk back to normal size. He landed hard on the tracks, but he didn't let it dampen his high spirit as he got back onto his feet. "GAHAHAHA! That all you got, train?! Bowser wins again!" But as he looked around, Bowser's smile faded. "So… What was I doing?" He had gone pretty far as he chased the train. He was still in the highlands of Sky Land, but just barely. Looking southeast, he caught sight of the smoke rising from the path of volcanoes and suddenly remembered. "That's right! The Star Cure! Better go check that safe back at the castle…" He then sighed: unless there was a Chakroad lying around this, he was in for a long walk.

But just as he set off, he saw some movement from the corner of his eye and turned to see a Chain Chomp tethered to the building beside the bridge. He figured it must have been used to haul the wooden beams and other material used to construct the bridge. Looking beyond the Chomp, Bowser snorted: the bridge was pretty flimsy looking, although he supposed that could be because it had only been built over the course of a few hours. Even if the moles decided to stab him in the back mere minutes after he drilled the hole to Toad Town for them, that was still only about seven hours. Why couldn't they have ever been hat speedy when they worked for _Bowser_?

The Koopa growled at the thought, but he was still racing against time to get that Star Cure. His treasure room had been opened, and Mario and Luigi could walk in and make off with the whole safe at any moment, for all Bowser knew. Hurrying over to the wreckage, Bowser pulled out the first intact traincar bogie he could find and rolled it over to the rails. Once the wheels were back on the track, he fetched the Chain Chomp. His kids sometimes liked to have chariot races using Chomps, and Bowser was no stranger to the practice himself. He figured it wouldn't be much different to do it on train tracks instead of a dirt track back in Dark Land, and hopped onto the framework of the bogie, tensing his legs and giving the chain a sharp jerk.

_The things I do for global domination…_ he sighed to himself as the Chain Chomp lunged forward, frantic barking filling the air as Bowser embarked on yet another journey back to his home.


	51. Losing Your Mind

Chapter 51: Losing Your Mind

Once the Fawful Express had gone, Goomp, Paraplonk and Sgt. Guy pulled the safe out of the gold and set it on the tracks in anticipation for the train to come backing in. If the Star Cure could break through the barrier Fawful had set up around Mushroom Castle, they knew he'd want to get his hands on it – and keep it safe from the Mario Bros. or anyone else looking to mess up his plans. The Fawful Express would take the treasure to Fawful as well, and even the things in the deep freeze: surely anything that piques Kamek's interest would also be worth showing to Fawful. And, while their Beanish Lord was still inaccessible, the trio knew he'd lower the barrier eventually, and then they could present him with the loot. They were sure he'd reward them far more handsomely than Bowser ever would have: a reward of nothing was an easy record to top, after all.

"Wait, guys, a thought occurs to me…" Paraplonk and Goomp looked over at their superior officer. "D'you think Lord Fawful will be able to get the safe open?"

"Of course!" insisted Goomp, but Paraplonk considered Sgt. Guy's concern more thoroughly.

"Hmmm… Good question… Maybe we should try opening it for him?"

"But what if Mario and Luigi come after we've opened the safe?" frowned Goomp.

"If they come while the safe's still closed, they'd just bust it open themselves," reasoned Sgt. Guy.

"Yeah, they're reeeeally destructive," nodded Paraplonk, reaching a hand up to the bucket on his head and shuddering at the bleary memory of one fateful plumber attack and the cascade of rubble it caused to rain down upon him and his squad.

"Plus, if it's out of the safe, we can stow it better – we could put it in my pack and say we don't have it if they ask us," continued the Shy Guy.

"Oh, good idea!" chirped Goomp. The three then set to work trying to bust the safe open, but nothing worked. After a while, they were once again starting to wonder if Fawful _would_ have trouble opening it, and resolved to try even harder.

"Well, better we put the work in than Fawful," said Sgt. Guy after his latest attempt to magically crack the safe open merely ended in him feeling rather drained and both his wand and the safe smelling faintly of daffodils.

"If we get this thing open, we won't have to worry about Fawful getting mad if _he_ can't open it," sighed Paraplonk in agreement, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he tried to come up with something else the trio could try.

"I doubt Lord Fawful would throw tantrums like Bowser always does," snorted Goomp.

"Yes, our former king did have _quite_ the temper…" murmured Sgt. Guy.

"Fiery as his breath…" nodded Paraplonk.

"Not to mention his swollen ego…" added Goomp.

"Why'd we ever put up with him for so long?" wondered Sgt. Guy, but before his companions could answer, Bowser himself out of one of the tunnels.

The three minions paled: the Koopa King _wasn't _supposed to come back. At all. Goomp was the first to find his voice. "King Bowser! You're OK?!" he squeaked.

"Of course!" snorted the Dragon-Koopa. Fortunately for the threesome before him, being dragged almost all the way back to the castle by a loud, barking Chain Chomp had temporarily ground down Bowser's sense of hearing, and he couldn't make out any of their treasonous words as they echoed down the tunnel. He had only parted with the Chomp recently, sending it back the way he came down the tunnel before getting too close to his treasure room, lest the beast wrecked anything. Besides, his arms were starting to ache, and he needed to stretch his legs after balancing on the rail bogey for so long. Still, it beat walking back, and he was pleased to see that he had made fast enough time to continue to stay ahead of Mario and Luigi.

Paraplonk watched Bowser's gaze shift to the safe, and deciding to simply accept that Bowser wasn't going to kill him and his fellow mutineers, he spoke up. "That Star Cure is in the safe, I'm so sure!"

"Yeah, I remember!" huffed Bowser, walking over and forcing Goomp and Guy to get out of the way as he faced the front of the safe. "I didn't know what the thing was, but it looked pricey, so I stuck it in this safe…"

Behind him, the trio exchanged looks. Figuring Bowser simply hadn't heard what they were saying when he showed up, Sgt. Guy then joined Paraplonk in making the surprise return of the Koopa King work in their favour. "Begin safe incursion, sir!"

"Mmm," grunted Bowser. He didn't need his minion's encouragement, but after the Monty Moles' betrayal, he supposed it'd be best to just appreciate troop members' loyalty where he could get it. He walked up to the safe and put a hand on the dial of the combination lock. The minions watched expectantly as Bowser stood there, drumming his fingers against the dial but not actually rotating it.

"King Bowser? Something wrong?" ventured Goomp after a moment.

"Uh….Bowser?" frowned Paraplonk as even the drumming stopped.

"…I forgot it," said Bowser quietly.

"Sir?"

Bowser turned around, struggling to keep his face from turning red. "The safe combination… I FORGOT IT!"

"WHAT?" cried Goomp in dismay.

"NNNNGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! C'mon, you stupid brain! Stop being stupid, and remember the stupid combination!" growled Bowser, knocking his head in frustration.

"Your Forgetfulness! Get ahold of yourself!" shouted Paraplonk in alarm.

"Haah… Hooooo… Haaaaaaah… No use… Can't remember…" panted Bowser. He blamed the Chain Chomp: he couldn't think with pounding headache its constant barking had given him. _I should get Chippy on that…_ he mused, but then an even better thought occurred to him. Not even caring that the trio of minions were right there, Bowser looked down at his gut. "HEY! CHIPPY! COME IN, CHIPPY!"

"No need to shout! I hear you. Forgot the safe combo, huh?" Starlow smirked. Bowser's continued denseness would be amusing if it wasn't so inconvenient.

"Yeah, I did, but you can find it! Look around inside my head! It's in there somewhere! FIND IT!" ordered Bowser.

Starlow frowned. She was getting rather tired of being forced to do everything. The Star Spirits should be able to fight their own battles, and Bowser should be able to remember his own lock combinations. She couldn't do anything about the Stars, but she _could_ make Bowser work for her help. "Your tone… I don't like it."

"WHAT?!"

"That haughty, commanding tone of voice!" snapped Starlow. "I don't like it! Go help yourself!"

"What the… HEY! Find it!" urged Bowser, the shadow of a whine creeping into his voice. 'Chippy' hadn't given him this much grief in a while, and he didn't like it one bit. But as the silence dragged on, he scowled and relented. "Find it…please?" Again, nothing but silence. Bowser suppressed a growl; if he had _any_ other option and if he wasn't worried Mario and Luigi could crash in at any moment, he would have met her little game of mental chicken head on – no way she could out-stubborn _him_. But as things stood, he had no choice and heaved a defeated, humiliated sigh. "Find it…pretty please?"

"…That's better," smirked Starlow. "OK, the inside of your head is fragile, so stay totally still. I'll go look. Be right back." She was lying, of course: Bowser could run the Mushroom Derby if he wanted to and nothing bad would come of it, but she _did_ want him to stay out of trouble for a change. Plus, messing with him was pretty fun, although deep down, she knew it was wrong to tease Bowser like that. But then again, it was just Bowser. Grinning to herself, she entered the illusion and turned to Mario and Luigi. "OK, this is it! Nobody'll get that Star Cure without the safe combination, so we'd better help Bowser. Let's head for Bowser's…head!"

As Starlow worked to form an illusion to turn the abstractness of Bowser's memories into a tangible area that Mario and Luigi could enter and navigate without breaking their minds, the Koopa King locked his knees and crossed his arms, hoping the whole thing wouldn't take _too_ long. Around him, Sgt. Guy, Paraplonk and Goomp stared at the Koopa King in utter confusion. Glowering at them, Bowser started to regret not shooing them away before talking to the voice in his head, but it was too late now and instead he shut his eyes so that he at least didn't have to look at their aghast faces.

The trio shot befuddled looks at each other. Sure, they had already seen Bowser chatting with thin air the night before, but it seemed like he had gotten much worse. He was acting like the voice was inside him; he said it had control of his memory. Perhaps the voice was in charge of _more_ than just his recollections... And why did he call it 'Chippy'? Yes, Fawful might be a little nutty and have a poor grasp of the English language, but unlike Bowser, he wasn't losing his mind. Plus, it was a much sharper mind to begin with – no way Fawful would forget a combination to his own treasure safe. Now that they thought about it, it truly was baffling that Bowser had managed to command the Koopa Troop for so long. If he wasn't naturally powerful and Near Immoral, he wouldn't have even _lived_ that long, they reckoned, figuring Bowser must've inexplicably grown giant again – it was the only conceivable way he could have defeated the Monty Bros.

Fawful, on the other hand… he had to work for his survival. Bowser just inherited the Koopa throne, but Fawful took it by force – from _him_. And he had taken the Mushroom Kingdom too – something Bowser never seemed to manage despite all the resources and troops he threw away in his endless attempts for Peach and glory. Looking up at the Koopa King now, periodically opening one eye to glare at them, as if challenging them to ask the perfectly valid question of why he was playing the statue game, it was like trio were seeing Bowser in a whole new light. And it wasn't a flattering one.


	52. Mirror, Mirror

Chapter 52: Mirror, Mirror

When the Bros. entered the area, they found the way blocked off at first, but the walls soon exploded. Starlow recognized this as Bowser dropping his mental barriers for them, granting 'Chippy' full access to the memories that his soul usually guarded against the energy beings crawling in the ether. A couple times during Bowser's wanderings, when there was nothing for Starlow and the Mario Bros. to do, she had idly poked around to see if she could wiggle her way into his memories, but to no avail.

She was actually glad Bowser forgot the safe combination as the Bros. walked forward and onto a lift that took them down, past walls of memories. Starlow had dressed them all up like books on a shelf for the sake of the humans, but even now, she could hear the faint whispers of Bowser's past calling out to her. Surprisingly, she didn't know very much of the Koopa King's history – she preferred reading about the heroes, not the villains. But after spending a day and half trapped inside the Dragon-Koopa, she was starting to wonder much the same things as Goomp, Guy and Paraplonk. How _did_ a calamity-prone idiot like Bowser manage to stay on top of an entire Kingdom, much less pose one of the biggest mortal threats to ever oppose the Stars and their chosen plumber heroes? It was intriguing, and she was hoping that Bowser's memories would hold the answer – straight from the Yoshi's mouth, only better.

Even with the blocks down, there were still vestiges of Bowser's energy in the Memory Banks illusion, and after passing a harmless Emoglobin, Mario, Luigi and Starlow found themselves faced with a new illusion. It was completely spherical with four, flickering arm-like appendages, but didn't seem to notice the newcomers as it floated in front of a computer-like monitor and keyboard.

"Wow, Bowser's memory banks… It's surprisingly neat and tidy…" said Starlow, cracking another joke at Bowser's expense, even though she knew full well that except for the sphere and the earlier Emoglobin, she had designed the room. At the sound of her voice, the sphere turned around. It had two yellow eyes and a yellow mouth, and after looking down at the threesome, its arms retracted and it spun itself sideways on its axis, twisting into thin air and suddenly reappearing right next to Starlow.

The Star Sprite was taken aback by the invasion of her personal space, but before she could do anything the energy creature had erected a weak forcefield around her and was scanning her. It then teleported in front of Mario and did the same to the panicking plumber while Luigi trembled in the back. But the man in green's turn for an electric onceover never came, for the creature had seen enough already and appeared in the middle of the open space in front of the computer.

Starlow didn't know what to make of it, but she figured she had to say _something_ and cleared her throat. "Ah… Um, hi. We'd like the combination to Bowser's safe, please…"

However, instead of giving her the memory, the creature sucked in its limbs again and started spinning. And screaming. "VIRUS ALERT! VIRUS ALERT! VIRUS ALERT!"

Starlow sighed: _of course_ Bowser's energy wasn't going to make things easy for her... As she and the Bros. tensed up for a battle, the creature split in two and dropped to the floor, and while Starlow supposed she should have known there'd be a struggle, she was not expecting the form it would take this time. For the blobs on the floor did not turn into some strange cellular anomaly like the rest of Bowser's energy fragments, but rather, blocky, robotic clones of Mario and Luigi themselves.

The real Bros. yelped in shock as the artificial Mario began to speak. "Database has been breached by virus of likely malicious origin!"

"Data backup complete!" reported the robot Luigi.

"Launch repulsion program!" shouted the fake Mario, and the two began to alternatively chant.

"Repel virus!"

"Repel virus!"

"Repel virus!"

"Repel virus!"

"REPEL!" screeched the fake Luigi.

"VIRUS!" bleated the Mario lookalike, and the two robots charged at the parasites. Mario and Luigi jumped out of the way, watching as a blocky Mushroom appeared and turned the Mario clone giant. More blocks appeared overhead and the robot jumped, sending rubble raining down on the real Mario and Luigi, who batted it away with their hammers. They looked up at the giant robot, wondering what the best way to take it down would be, when it suddenly shrunk. Both the real Bros. and the fake Luigi watched as a robotic Koopa scurried away, having successfully hit the fake Mario from behind.

_Ohhh, I get it,_ thought Starlow as she watched the odd attack. These were figments of Bowser's memories. A memory of Mario and Luigi and their fighting skills. She chuckled when, after taking some damage, the Memory L ran away. _Bowser's even incorporated Luigi's more cowardly streak_, she smirked. But her smile turned to a frown when a fake Star appeared, bouncing around the Memory M which gave chase and turned into a facsimile of Invincible Mario, running all around and trying to clobber the real Bros. _Hmph, the nerve of Bowser! Fake Stars, I can't believe it!_ Starlow glowered to herself, wincing as the real Mario was sent flying. But the Bros. weren't done yet and bombarded the blocky artificial doppelgänger with fireballs.

It was then that the fake Luigi returned, rushing straight at the real thing, who nimbly dodged the clone – but not the fake Boo block that was chasing it. Luigi yelped in pain and fear as the block smashed into him, and Mario made sure to time his own Memory L dodge just right to take out the Boo. Luigi frowned as he got up – he didn't feel very happy about Bowser remembering him for his Boo fears. He pulled out his hammer and attacked the mirror, dealing some decent damage and causing the Memory L to run away again. Luigi groaned at his perceived cowardice and was taken off guard when the Memory M made another Invincibility Star-enhanced run at him. Luigi tumbled across the floor of the memory Banks, quickly pushing himself up and joining Mario as they threw everything they had at the robot: hammers, jumps, fireballs, shells – _everything_.

And it looked to be working, with the Memory M on the verge of collapse. It was then that the memory of Luigi came back, just as loyal to its fellow fake as the real Luigi was to his Bro. The Memory L pulled out a Mushroom and tossed it to the Memory M, which instantly stood up straight, battle-ready once more. As the Memory L took the lead, inching towards the real Bros before tripping and sending its hammer spiraling through the air, Starlow figured out why Bowser's energy would choose his sworn enemies as his last defense. After all, they always defeated _Bowser_, so it made sense if his subconscious bet on them defeating the attacking 'viruses' – maybe he wasn't as delusional about his power and prowess as Starlow thought he was: he was just too full of pride and bravado to _accept_ that he was just no match for the Bros.

And his copies were no match for them either, with the true blue Mario Bros. eventually emerging victorious against the Memory ML. The defeated robots lay on the ground for a moment, but then stood back up. _Round two?_ wondered Starlow, but rather than attacking, the two memories then merged back into a single blob of energy. However, rather than reforming the same energy sphere as before, when the blob resolidified, it was as a new robot, this one based on Princess Peach.

"Affirmative. Correct. I manage the memory banks in this facility," said the robot as Mario, Luigi ad Starlow gaped in shock. "I have failed to repel you from the area. But that is no problem. I have switched to a temporary observation protocol instead. Affirmative. Correct."

_Wow, she- he- …IT, is taking the loss remarkably in stride_, noted Starlow, but rather than commenting on it aloud, she decided to voice a question she knew all three energy parasites were wondering. "Why did you take that shape?"

"Affirmative. Correct. I have taken on the form likely to aid communication with you. It is based on the host's most carefully preserved memory," explained the fake Peach.

Starlow frowned. She knew Bowser had a crush on Peach – _everyone_ knew _that_ – but to suggest that his most carefully preserved memory was of her? As if. _It's probably just saying that to avoid getting whaled on again_, figured Starlow, but either way, she was glad it seemed to be cooperating now and moved on. "Yeah, so, uh… We really need to know the combination to Bowser's safe…"

"Affirmative. The…safe?"

"Yes, the one he apparently used to-a store the Star Cure he stole-a recently," said Mario.

His words apparently jogged Bowser's memory, for the Peach-bot started to float. "Affirmative. Correct. The safe combination. Danger-avoidance protocols have unilateral failure. Affirmative. Correct."

"Failure? What's THAT mean?" demanded Starlow. "Are you saying that the combination isn't here?"

"Negative. Incorrect. The combination is here." The Memory P then disappeared, collapsing back into the original sphere, which then floated up and poked around with the stacks of memories, eventually returning with what resembled a photograph that had been stepped on. Only instead of the glass shattering, the picture itself was in pieces. "Affirmative. Correct. This is the combination."

"Could this…possibly be… the shattered memory of the safe combination?!" Starlow knew how the memory interface was supposed to work, but she figured she'd ask for the brothers' sakes.

"Affirmative. Correct. There was large-scale trauma. This memory was broken. Affirmative. Correct."

"It must have been when the Fawful Express rammed him…" said Starlow. _Or when he was crushed beneath the Tower of Yikk. Or when the castle landed on him. Or when he sucked us all up and had that first energy crisis. Or when Fawful ripped Peach out of his energy and he nearly bled out all his power…_ Come to think of it, it was amazing Bowser wasn't even _more_ addled considering all the abuse he went through. Starlow was almost impressed. Almost. "No wonder he can't remember that combination…" she continued aloud, turning to the Bros. "Mario! Luigi! Fix that broken memory as fast as you can!" The Bros. nodded and set to work piecing the puzzle back together under the watchful eye of the energy ball.


	53. Memoria

**A/N****: As I've said before, this story is in the same continuity as my **_**Super Koopa**_** series, and while I try to keep most of the story self-contained and sticking to the official script, this chapter is the glaring exception. It was just too perfect an opportunity to pass up, but lest you think I'm just indulging myself, what happens will have a lot of plot relevance. Plus, while there **_**is**_** a fair chunk of original stuff in there, more than half of the lines are actually from other games in the **_**Mario**_** series (mainly the first five RPGs; not **_**SPM**_**, sadly, as it's set after **_**M&L:BIS**_** in my headcanon), and a couple bits are actually taken directly from my Bowser-backstory-based fanfiction, **_**The Queen of the Koopas**_**. And with that shameless plug out of the way, onto the chapter; I hope you guys like it, and if you do (or don't), please let me know in a review so I can stop worrying and wondering!**

Chapter 53: Memoria

With the Bros. occupied for a bit, Starlow took the opportunity to slip out of the illusion. She knew she said she wouldn't use Bowser to indulge her curiosity again after the Yikk thing, but she wasn't _using_ him, she was just taking a stroll down memory lane. Sure, it was _his_ memory lane, but as they say, know your enemy. And besides, if she didn't take advantage of this golden opportunity, she knew she'd regret it: it's not like she could ever ask Bowser to tell her about his childhood, his evil motivation for taking over the Mushroom World, or the origins of his creepy obsession with Princess Peach. For one thing, he wouldn't give her the time of day if he knew she was a Star being, and even if he did, Starlow wouldn't trust a word that came out of his firespitting mouth.

But raw memories were another thing entirely. Without the illusion providing bindings and structure, the whispering of the memories was even louder; Starlow could feel them all around her, calling for her attention like a room full of books. But she wasn't a fool: she had never read anyone's mind before, although she had read _about_ it and knew what to do in theory. But still, she'd start by taking it slow, calling up memories of earlier that day.

"_Look around inside my head!"_ Bowser's voice came echoing back as Starlow tried going further and further back in time. _"Chippy! That was awesome! … M__y castle's in danger! … Those guys make me so MAD! … Did someone just page the king of awesome? … I don't care if they didn't invite me, I'm gonna head over there – you're in charge until I get back, haggy. I shouldn't be too long: it's just some boring info meeting. Make sure the kids don't get into the kitchen again like last time. Or heads will roll…"_

Starlow chuckled to herself at the imagery that came with that last Bowser quotation: a wizened old Magikoopa witch looking none too pleased at the prospect of babysitting the Koopa King's brats. At least, Starlow presumed they were brats – with a father like Bowser, no way they'd turn out okay. She supposed she could check and see what they were really like for herself, but she decided she'd save it for later: she'd had enough of the recent past. She wanted _Bowser's _childhood, she wanted early life, she wanted origin stories. But she _didn't_ want to push her luck and instead of diving straight into the depths of Bowser's memories like she wanted to, she decided to only go one year back, to Bowser's first run-in with Fawful.

"_I am the Great Cackletta's most best pupil, who is named Fawful! I am here, laughing at you!"_ it was the troublesome Bean himself who's voice now filled Starlow's head, but as she fast-forwarded through the ensuing events of the Beanbean incident, that's when things started to go funny.

After a vivid memory of getting blasted out of a cannon, things got muddled: Bowser started thinking of himself as 'Rookie' – not just calling himself 'Rookie', actually _thinking_ it. The memories had been warped since then, patched over by Bowser forcing himself to remember the events as 'Bowser', but she could still sense the original forms. He had lost his memories and had been taken in by some guy calling himself 'The Shadow Thief'. But for some reason, there was something about the title that felt off – a weird familiarity, although Starlow didn't dwell on it, for the next memory was rather jolting.

"_Eya ha ha ha haaaa!"_ cackled a new voice. High and female… not Fawful, Bowser or the Shadow Thief guy. _"You have done well, Fawful. Subduing Bowser's feeble psyche was almost TOO easy. And this body of his… it will serve me very well."_

"_I have happiness! But… will we still have the revenging for what the fink-rats Red and Green had the doing of to your body of originalness, O Great Cackletta?"_

"_Oh Fawful, so vindictive – you've learned well! Heh heh… …But… not 'Cackletta'. I need a new name for this new body, don't you think? Perhaps… 'Bowletta'! Eya ha ha ha ha!"_

Suddenly an image assaulted Starlow's mind's eye – of Bowser looking in the mirror, but he wasn't Bowser. He was grotesque and disfigured: pink eyes and a hooked mouth; no snout, no horns – just bulbous growths sticking out of his head and chest. The distorted voice and laughter was coming from his throat, but not of his own will; Starlow could feel the Bowser of the past staring at the reflection with as much horror and disgust as she was now. He was a monster. He was trapped inside a monster. He was a puppet. A tool. A-

_NO!_ Starlow wrenched free of the memory. She spiraled through space, struggling to forget the helpless and stomach-turning sensations that she knew Bowser himself must be trying hard to suppress. She had to bury deep to get that memory, and she regretted it now as she drifted in a daze through more fragmented recollctions.

"_I'm Popple, the Shadow Thief, see? You wanna join me, ya rookie?"_

There was the title again. And then a new voice hissed through the ether.

"_They call her the Shadow Thief since no one's ever gotten a real good look at her."_

Wait, 'her'? Starlow frowned. She had seen from the earlier memories that Popple was an angry little Beanish man, but now the Magikoopa was saying the Shadow Thief was a female? Starlow wasn't even sure what memory it was that she was listening to now: it had just come floating up.

"_I'd rather leave then have to live in the same castle as_ _her_," continued the Magikoopa.

"_Fine, you can go,"_ said Bowser. Starlow was experiencing the memory from the Dragon-Koopa's perspective so she couldn't see what he looked like, but she could tell from his voice that he was younger: it was still low, but not nearly as gravely as the one she knew. However, the memory was old and the details were slipping, the voices far away and the visuals blurry and blinking, and Starlow could only make out bits and pieces of the conversation. _"… I'm sick of you controlling my life!"_

Starlow figured the Magikoopa must be Kamek – from what she had read, he had been the one to raise Bowser. She snorted: he hadn't done a very good job of it, that's for sure, but Bowser seemed to agree, for the next memory was loaded with feelings of resentment as the younger Dragon-Koopa listened to his advisor rant._ "…Your father was the greatest Koopa King in history… He united the tribes… If you hope to be half the king he was, you-"_

"_Set the bar pretty high, didn't he?"_ It was a new conversation and a new voice now, but Starlow couldn't pull up a visual to go with the rusted memory.

"_When I was little, Kamek kept telling me about how, when I was old enough, we'd invade the Mushroom Kingdom like Dad wanted to do. Then he had that stupid vision about those stupid Mario Bros. and everything got botched up…"_ The bitterness in Bowser's voice made Starlow smirk.

"_So I've heard."_

"_Have you also heard what everyone says behind my back? About how I'm a complete joke?"_

That one took Starlow by surprise: she had always assumed Bowser was completely ignorant about what his minions thought about him. Maybe that's why he had only been mad, and not surprised, when the Monty Bros. turned on him. Maybe that's why _none_ of the betrayals were a surprise to him.

"_Someday I'm going to take over the world."_ A new memory now, with Bowser back to his usual bravado; Starlow still couldn't see who he was talking too, however, as he stared up at the cloudy Dark Land sky. It felt like he was lying in… a puddle of mud? Weird. But what he was saying distracted Starlow from the setting. _"No more 'your father did it faster', 'your father did it better'. I'll show them who's really the greatest Koopa King! The Mushroom Kingdom will be mine, and Sarasaland, and the Beanbean Kingdom and everywhere! Then they'll remember my name. Then they'll FEAR my name – King Bowser Koopa! I'll show them all!"_

But he didn't. The memories were coming faster now: there was the familiar arrogance and rage, but so much failure as well.

"_Let's show 'em who's the boss around here. … I rule this world! Don't you forget it! … I wanted to have FUN! But forget it! It's over! … I'm gonna RUIN Mario! … This is our finest moment! The Koopa Troop is invincible! We shall be victorious! … I miss my fortress..."_

"_Leave me alone!" _That last voice was Peach's. And hers wasn't the only voice joining Bowser's.

"_You worthless vermin!" _spat Popple.

"_I'm... Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief!"_

"_That was a really __stupid_ _thing to do, Bowser."_ That mystery voice again, coming from an unidentifiable, darkened figure on a throne, but the next voice was certainly known to Starlow.

"_Say Bowser kidnapped you. Without the aid of the Star Road, you'd probably never be rescued!" _Geno! It was the memory of when Bowser teamed up with the Star Sage, Mario and Peach to save the world from interlopers from another dimension. In fact, a lot of that entire incident was playing through Bowser's mind.

"_If Mario hears that I've been kicked out of my own castle..."_

"_Bowser, most of our allies have run off! What will we do?"_

"_Mario! Prepare yourself for the great beyond!"_

"_Mario, you're my knight in shining armor!" _That last one was from Peach. There were a lot of memories of her riddling Bowser's head.

"_Both Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars belong to me!"_

"_You are the single greatest disaster to ever befall the Mushroom Kingdom!"_

"_Can't we have a friendly conversation for a change?"_

"_I have nothing to say to you."_

Starlow was glad that Peach resisted the Koopa King's advances. It was disgusting how possessive he was of her, forcing his will on her. And yet, as she slid through his memories, Starlow could feel first-hand the sting of the rejections. Bowser acted like he didn't notice, but he did. Just as his subconscious knew that Mario and Luigi were stronger than him.

"_I'll admit, you handed me my shell before, but not this time! … I hate those plumbers! … __The power of the Stars has failed me..."_

"_You can never defeat Mario! Why don't you give up already?"_ Peach again.

"_I've heard tales of you, but you're not very impressive in person!"_ snorted someone else, who Starlow recognized as the same Star Clubba that had shot Bowser out of the cannon. Nice guy. In fact, while both he and Peach had just been stating the facts, seeing it through Bowser's eyes as the memories looped around her, Starlow had to admit, the constant stream of humiliating defeats was not fun.

"_Mario is my only rival... … __How could this happen?! … __No one else matters. … __They CAN'T do this to me! … As long as I have this Star Rod, everything I wish will come true! … __I gave those __troops__ power, but now it's fading away! … __It'll be a pleasure to squash you personally! … __This is not what I had planned... … __I feel like I'm exploding with power! … Wh-Where am I? Wh-What have I been doing?"_

Starlow's head was starting to spin from the constant yo-yoing from victory to loss, from confidence to despair, from anger to… more anger. And it was starting to speed up and blur together; Starlow couldn't even tell who was talking half the time, and the faces of the speakers seemed to melt together – children and servants and red-eyed shadows in the dark.

"_I am Bowser The King!"  
"Bowser, please!"  
_"_Nothing makes me happier…"  
"Where are the kids?"  
"What has he done?!"  
"__I can see it in your eyes – that haunted look…"__  
__"The __mind is all of the Great Cackletta!"  
_"_Smithy's __gonna pay…"  
_"_This time I'm gonna win!"  
"Stealing my splendid castle from me!"  
__"He killed you!"__  
_"_I'll show you the power of the Koopa King!"  
"…Again."  
_"_If I find him-"  
"King Morton's idiot son..."  
"Tiny brain."  
"I will never love you!"  
_"_Mario always defeats me."  
"We don't know quite what happened…"  
"I became invincible and I STILL couldn't beat him!"  
"…She took control of your energy somehow."  
"The Stars ignore my wishes..."  
"I love you."  
"They won't ignore me…"  
"That's disgusting."  
"When I get their Star Rod."  
__"MARIO!"__  
"I'm going to finish him off!"  
"…__Fishing your bones out of the lava.__"  
"Once and for all!"  
"King Dad?"  
"NOOOO!"  
__"Something's happened…"__  
"I hate you!"  
_"_What happened?"  
__"Lost again."__  
__"DON'T LIE TO ME!"__  
__"Dead."_

"_HELP ME, MARIO!"_

"_Like the moon over…_"

"_BOWSER! WAKE UP!"_

"…_The day, my genius and brawn…"_

"_WHERE IS SHE!?"_

"…_Are lost on these fools."_

"_GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!"_

"_Papa… Who is my Mama?"_

Suddenly all the voices fell silent. Starlow hadn't realized it, but she had squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to block out the flood of memories, but now she let them slide open. She was sitting on a throne in a darkened room, a piece of crisp pink parchment in her thick, scaly fingers. It smelled sweet, like fresh fruit, and bore a message written in elegant purple handwriting. But when Starlow started to read it by the flickering torchlight, it was Peach's voice that filled her head, reading the memory that Bowser had carefully preserved and refined through the years.

_. . Dear King Bowser Koopa,_

_. . I would like to express my deepest condolences for your loss, and to apologize for  
not writing sooner. My advisors feared it would be improper, given the history between  
our nations. But I would like to forget that history. While the circumstances are tragic,  
these last couple months of ceasefire have been a welcome balm for the Mushroom  
Kingdom. Life is returning to normal for my citizens – we will even be hosting our first  
kart racing tournament in years on the eve of the new moon, and I am hereby extending  
a formal invitation for you to attend, either to watch, participate, or even design your  
own custom track for the Grand Prix. We can use friendly competition as the basis for a  
new era of peace between our lands. And, politics aside, it is my personal wish to see  
you join us that day. No one should be alone after they've lost someone they love._

_. . Sincerely yours,  
. . Princess Peach Toadstool_

Starlow frowned in confusion, looking up at the ghostly specter of Peach that floated before the Star Sprite in a sea of blackness, smiling warmly and watching her with sleepy blue eyes.

"STARLOW!"

"Huh, wha- Oh, you finished it? Uh…" Starlow was even more confused now, blinking in the bright lights of the Memory Banks as she looked from Mario and Luigi to the energy being, once more in its blocky Peach form, staring at her blankly. Starlow did not remember reentering the illusion, and she was pretty sure she couldn't fall in by accident. Watching as the Memory P turned back into the energy sphere, Starlow got the distinct impression that _it_ was the reason why she had been dragged back into the illusion. But either way, the Bros. had finished the puzzle and time was up. But Starlow was quite fine with that. The sooner she got out of Bowser's twisted and confusing head, the better.


	54. Forsaken

**A/N****: Thanks for all the reviews! In honour of the release of **_**Mario & Luigi: Dream Team**_** in North America today, here's another little update. One small confession, however: I had to take some liberties with the stage directions of this chapter, mainly since Bowser eating a certain something made absolutely NO sense in-game.**

Chapter 54: Forsaken

Shaking herself out of her mental fog, Starlow beamed at Mario and Luigi. "You did it! Incredible! 9898 88241 983. That's the safe combination!"

"Affirmative. Correct. Memory has been restored. Correct," reported the energy ball, once more floating above the frame.

Suppressing a shudder about her recent bombardment by other, less complete memories, Starlow wasted no time in linking up with the mind of the present's Dragon-Koopa. "I found your memory of the combination!"

With a grunt, Bowser perked up at the sound of the girl's voice, uncrossing his arms and flexing his muscles to work out the kinks as he responded to her. "Wow! Really? Solid work, Chippy! Gimme that combo!"

Had she not still been shaken up by her experience in Bowser's memories, Starlow might have considered making him say 'please' again, but as it was, she let it slide. The energy ball lifted the panel away and slotted it back into the wall, reconnecting it to Bowser's energy.

The response was instantaneous, and Bowser smacked his fist into his palm once more, his pleased-as-punch grin scaring Goomp, Guy and Paraplonk almost as much as his conversing with thin air. "That's… Yeah! That's IT! Now I remember!" crowed Bowser, whirling around and grasping the dial of the rotary combination lock. For some reason, he was feeling giddier than, well, ever. Maybe Chippy had bumped something while she rooted around in his brain – he _had_ felt kind of weird while she was in there… But he'd worry about that later: right now all he cared about was that victory was close enough to taste, and he happily hummed a little tune to himself while he opened the safe. " Doop-de-doo… Bowser-oo… 9 8 3 Whoop-do-WOO!"

Bowser laughed as the door swung open at last, and he reached in and grabbed the little bluish glass orb that contained a crystalline yellow star. It was warm to the touch and made his fingers tingle – that's how he had known it was worth protecting in the first place. If this was its idle state, Bowser could only imagine what power the trinket would released when it was put to use, and he held it aloft in triumph. "GWAHAHAHA! Unh! Can you feel that?! The second is MINE!"

Bowser was so caught up in his big win that he didn't notice the exchange of glances between the trio of minions, but when he moved to stuff the Star Cure under the lip of his shell and into his hammerspace, Goomp interrupted him.

"King Bowser! There's something else inside that safe!"

"What?!" Bowser didn't remember putting anything else in the safe recently, but he turned and looked back inside anyway. "Where?"

As Bowser stuck his head into the safe, Private Goomp, Sgt. Guy and Corporal Paraplonk all lined up behind him and started to back up, Goomp counting under his breath. "1, 2, 3!"

The three then rushed the Koopa King. Goomp and Guy tackled his scaly hindquarters, sending him tumbling through the door, which Paraplonk immediately slammed shut behind him.

"Ow!" whined Bowser as his head banged into the back of the safe. "Hey! Minions! What're you doing?!" He shouted in bewilderment, but when he tried to back out and found himself sealed in, his mood immediately blackened. "LEMME OUTTA HEEEEERE! OPEN THIS DOOOOOOOR!"

Goomp chucked at the sound of Bowser's muffled screams. Pushing the evil, arrogant Koopa King around was a dream of many a minion, but going so far as to sealing him in his own safe? Few little Goombas dared to dream so big. "Heh heh. The Age of Bowser is OVER!"

"Now is totally the Age of Fawful!" smiled Paraplonk, although he didn't take quite as much vindictive pleasure in the coup as the rookie. "Definitely!" he added in reassurance to himself.

"Lord Fawful will reward us well for this noble act, men! Can you say 'extra rations'?" said Sgt. Guy, keeping his eye on _why_ they had even dared to do what they did.

Bowser seethed as he heard the three cheer out. "VICTORY!" No, it was supposed to be _his_ victory. And how could it have been snatched from him by idiots like _those_ three? It was unthinkable – they must have had outside help.

"Stupid minions! You idiots fell under Fawful's control at some point, huh?" rationalized Bowser. Usually hypnotism made the sufferer less competent, but he supposed this particular trio of idiots were the exception and became _more_ capable thanks to Fawful's meddling with their minds. Having an excuse didn't do anything to ease his boiling rage, of course. "THIS IS MUTINY!"

"Yeah, I guess…" shrugged Goomp, turning to his companions. "So we oughta toss this thing somewhere, right?"

"But where?" wondered Paraplonk.

"Hmm… Where…" Sgt. Guy pondered for a moment, and then he got an idea. "…Ah. There, perhaps?" At the quizzical looks of his friends, the leader of the trio elaborated. "The Preservation Chamber."

"Ahhhh!" the other two grinned wickedly at their leader's plot.

Goomp chuckled as he walked over to the safe. "Yeah, that's perfect! It'll keep him nice and quiet until Lord Fawful decides what he wants done with him."

"Maybe he'll keep him frozen forever," said Paraplonk, joining Goomp and wrapping his fingers under the bottom edge of the safe.

"Yeah. Keep him for study like Kamek and his aliens, ya know?" nodded Sgt. Guy, helping to heave the safe off the ground.

Bowser hadn't been listening to the conversation – he was too busy frantically trying to escape. He punched and elbowed the walls, clawing ineffectually at the polished metal surface. To his credit, he at least knew better than to try using his firebreath – lest it didn't work and he merely ended up cooking himself in his own flames.

Eventually he became aware that he was moving, and paused in his struggling. "HEY! YOU LOUSY MINIONS! Where are you taking me?!" When they ignored him, he started bashing on the walls with renewed vigour. "YOU TRAITORS! LEMME OOOOOUT!" Suddenly gravity went funny and Bowser was sent ricocheting around the tiny space, roaring in anger. "OWWWW!" He eventually landed flat out on his belly, the safe no longer tumbling around him. Wherever the trio had been taking him, they had arrived. "HEY! HEY SOMEONE ANSWER ME!" he demanded.

"It sounds like they tossed the safe somewhere…" remarked Starlow to Mario and Luigi. They had exited the Memory Banks as soon as the combination numbers had been restored and had been making their way back to Toad Square when Bowser got betrayed yet again. They listened as Bowser screamed and struggled, and under normal circumstances, it might have been funny, but a loss for Bowser meant a win for Fawful's forces, and that was not good. And locking him in a safe was also a bit cruel…

Settling down again, Bowser decided to call on his last minion that side of Sky Land that wasn't a traitor, a prisoner, a coward or just plain useless. He'd even be willing to ask nicely again, but for the sake of what little dignity he had left, he opened with a usual demand. "Hey! Chippy! Make me giant again! Then I'll bust outta here!"

"Unless you get in mortal danger, I can't do it! For now, you just need to sit still and act like an adult," retorted Starlow. She was still worried Bowser might resort to his firebreath if he got desperate enough, and not only would that just end in him burning himself, but also suffocating, as the flames would consume whatever oxygen was in the safe. Dragon-Koopas were hardy creatures and could go weeks without food or water – especially one that was already packing a little extra weight, like Bowser. Oxygen, on the other hand, was always needed, and it would run out long before Bowser even started feeling thirsty. Fortunately for him, being a Near Immortal would protect his game from ending in suffocation, and once his oxygen-starved body became unable to function using regular cellular respiration, it'd simply switch over to running on raw power to keep the cells and organs going. But at this point in the game, Starlow didn't want to see any energy getting wasted, just in case things came to blows with the Dark Star after all, so the longer Bowser stayed alive through natural means, the better.

In typical Bowser fashion, the Koopa King wasn't even thinking about the limited amount of air in the safe, but simply being trapped and helpless was vexing enough. "Crud," he growled. _At least it's not as bad as being stuck in the floor…_ he then sighed to himself as his eyes slid closed. He was starting to feel sleepy. And cold.

"Anyway, what about that Star Cure? Did you get it?" asked Starlow.

"Huh?" Bowser opened his eyes again and reached behind him, feeling for the glass orb that he never did get around to putting in his hammerspace. "This?" He held it in front of him, its faint yellow glow his only source of light as it bounced off the shiny walls and filled the whole safe with a faint yellow luminescence. But being able to see was cold comfort to Bowser and he scowled at the sphere. "This stupid thing is the reason I'm in this fix!" he growled. He was starting to feel _really_ cold now, and the warmth from the Cure wasn't even helping, so he simply stowed it away in his hammerspace, sulking over his hollow victory in the cramped, pitch black safe.

Starlow had been waiting for that and seized control of the Star energy the second it entered the ether of Bowser's hammerspace. She concentrated hard, forcing it to enter an illusion and take a tangible form to give her better control as she started storing the energy it was radiating. She could do it all herself, having been ready for the wave of power this time, but like the first Cure, she knew she needed to get Mario and Luigi in on the action. If only to keep the story straight.

"Look! Bowser swallowed something!" she called out. She and the Bros. were still in the hallway, and fortunately not too far from the door to the Gut Check illusion, where she had put the Cure. Now she made a faint light seep through the cracks of the door, drawing the brothers' attention. On cue, Mario and Luigi hurried over and pulled open the door, entering the illusion in time to see something fall from the sky.

"Ah!" exclaimed Mario as Starlow appeared next to him and peered at the thing lying ahead of them.

"Hey! Look! Isn't that the Star Cure?!" she prompted, watching as the Bros. hurried up to the artifact. Now that she looked at it, covered in yellowish white goo, she wondered if perhaps she went a bit overboard with the illusion. "It's a little sticky and gross from Bowser eating it… Wash it REALLY well later…" she advised the Bros. sheepishly, but they didn't seem to care.

"Yahoo!" cheered Luigi as Mario unflinchingly picked up the goopy Star Cure. He and his brother were plumbers, after all – that had dealt with much worse than saliva.

Watching the two celebrate their victory, Starlow's thoughts drifted back to Bowser. She could feel something starting to affect his energy; it wasn't sucking it away, just dampening it, but while he and the souls inside of him were in no danger, Starlow feared it would leave her without enough energy to form tangible astral projections of the Bros. Of course, she _should_ use the Star Cures instead of Bowser, but she wanted to save their power for stopping the Dark Star. It was bad enough that she was going to have to divert a portion of their power to cure the Blorbs and then lower the barrier around Peach's Castle – there was only so much even pure Star energy could do.

There was no time to lose, and she interrupted the brothers' moment, although Luigi kept dancing around even as he listened to her. "I feel bad for Bowser, but we should head back outside. We can't do anything in here." While she didn't let them know that they also needed to get out of Bowser before his energy was cooled to the point that Starlow couldn't manipulate it anymore, what she _did_ tell them was true too. There _was_ nothing Starlow or the Bros. could do for Bowser from inside him…. And she _did_ feel bad for him. Knifed in the back by his minions once again, thrown in a safe and chucked who-knows-where, left on ice as a gift to Fawful… If all his days ended this way, she could understand why he was so cranky all the time.

_Wait, what am I saying? He's cranky because he's BOWSER_, she reminded herself, even as another part of her mused that while that day was admittedly a particularly bad one, it's not like Bowser's life was a bed of roses. _But that's his own fault for always being evil!_ she argued, before inwardly sighing with frustration. _Stars, I wished I hadn't decided to go reading his memories – it's screwing with my judgment…_ Unaware of his companion's inner dialogue, Mario stored the Star Cure, the jolt bringing Starlow back to her senses. As she made sure the power was safely nestled in the souls of her and her two friends, Starlow forced on a bright smile. "One more Star Cure left… Maybe Dr. Toadley knows where the third sage is… let's get back to Toad Town."

"Oh yeah!" agreed Mario.

"Yah!" whooped Luigi, hopping in place and finally ceasing his dancing. The three then left the Gut Check and headed for the Pipe Yard illusion. As Mario and Luigi walked the short distance, Starlow started gathering as much reserve power as she could – there was no telling how long it would be until she was able to replenish the Bros. once they were out and about as energy ghosts. Aside from the Star Cures, she didn't even know _how_ she could recharge them: Bowser's reserve would be unusable in a matter of minutes at this rate – he was already starting to slip unconscious.

Then another thought occurred to Starlow – the Toads. What was she going to do about the Toads? Let them go inert too? Toadbert had sensed that something was going wrong with Bowser's energy, and as Mario and Luigi entered the Pipe Yard, he entered Toad Square. Immediately, Starlow sealed both groups in, scrapping every other illusion in a bid to conserve power. But conserve it for what? She couldn't stop it from going cold regardless of whether it was in use or not. Maybe she had no choice but to let the Toads sleep like Bowser himself, which _would_ also let her focus solely on Mario and Luigi, who had already entered the pipe to Toad Town. As Starlow started forming their ghostly bodies out of the energy she had salvaged, she supposed that freeing her mind of everything but Mario and Luigi's quest to free the Mushroom Kingdom before the Dark Star awoke probably _was_ the best way to make the most out of the situation.

But she felt wrong forsaking the Toads like that. She felt wrong leaving _Bowser_ behind – like his traitorous minions. What was even happening to him? Would he really be okay, or would the cold freeze his soul itself and the others' too. Would Mario, Starlow and Luigi be walking along and suddenly go cold and vanish into thin air? Would they defeat the Dark Star only to find the Toads they left behind gone forever? A thousand horrible possibilities played out in Starlow's mind, paralyzing her as effectively as the freezing cold permeating Bowser's body. She couldn't even focus enough to finish beaming Mario and Luigi into the overworld; she just held them in limbo as she frantically tried to decide what to do.

"_Don't worry, I'm here, rememmmmber?"_

_Wisdurm!_ Gasped Starlow, but her relief quickly turned to embarrassment, and she hid it with resentment. _So what, are you gonna help me now?_

Wisdurm let her exasperated sigh transmit to Starlow. _"Don't be TOO grateful, nowwww. Anywaaay… Your first instinct was to stick with the Mario Bros. I hooooope?"_

_Yeah,_ said Starlow. _But then the Toads-_

"_Don't worry,"_ repeated Wisdurm. _"Your decision is the correct oooone. The cold will not erase the consciousnesses you leave behind, nor will it damage your true souls still residing inside Bowser while you travel with your miiinds."_

Starlow almost snorted at that last comment: Wisdurm almost sounded like Chakron. But she had more important things to say than point out the parallels. _But what exactly IS going on? What did those guys DO?_

"_They threw Bowser into his Preservation Rooooom."_

_Preservation Room?_

"_Yeeees. It is a cryogenic freezer near Bowser's treasure chamber in the bowels of his caaastle. It is designed to store food, volatile chemicals and energies, and also living organiiisms."_

_Storing living organisms? Ugh, as always, his hobbies are pretty much pure evil…_

"_Yesss. But now it's come back to bite hiiiim."_

_Well, at least this way, he won't suffocate._

"_Indeed. But he can't stay here forever – we need him to defeat the Dark Staaar… regrettably."_

Starlow frowned. _You sound as if you wouldn't let him out otherwise._

"_I wouldnnnn't,"_ said Wisdurm matter-of-factly.

_But isn't that a bit extreme? I mean, yeah, having a cryogenics room is pretty creepy, but leaving him in there forever would be taking the karma a bit far, don't you think?_

"_Karma goes as far as we want it to goooo. Besides, it's not just about that – Bowser is a menaaaace. The world would be better without him under most circumstaaances."_

Starlow frowned to herself again. Wisdurm's words sounded almost… sinister. She thought back to some of Bowser's memories, of his laments about the Stars ignoring his wishes, and Geno's explanation to Peach that her rescues were only made possible because of the Star Road.

"_Stories are biased, Starlowww,"_ said Wisdurm, as if reading her student's mind. "_I know you looked into Bowser's memories, and perhaps you saw something that were not to flattering for the Staaars? But you are forgetting who was telling you those stories: of course they would portray us, the Koopa's enemies, in an unfavourable liiight."_

_I'm not an idiot!_ Huffed Starlow._ I know not to listen to Bowser. But those weren't stories, they were memories: you can't lie about that!_

"_Sure you caaaan. You can repress memories, you can forget certain deeeetails. Did Bowser resent the Star Spirits for not granting his wiiishes? Did the memory point out that his wishes were selfish and eeevil? Would YOU have granted a wish for Mario to disappear, or for Peach to become Bowser's new queeeeen?"_

_No, but-_

"_And when those wishes weren't granted, he stole the Star Rooood. He would deprive everyone else in the world from having their wishes come true just for his own selfish desiiires."_

_Okay, okay, I get it! Look, I already regret going digging around in his memories, but-_

"'_Regreeet'? Nooo, you should not regret iiit. You were wise to see the opportunity and take it, Starrrrlow."_

_R- really?_ Starlow was surprised: she was sure she would've gotten an earful for her latest indulgence. But then again, it had been Chakron, not Wisdurm, who had scolded her for the Tower of Yikk thing. Which, seeing as Chakron ended up using _Yikk's_ invention to meddle with Wisdurm's maze, was a bit hypocritical now that Starlow thought about it. Not that she resented the help with Widurm's challenge, of course – her mentor had been unfair to make it so hard. No, Wisdurm was right, she told herself, Bowser was simply reaping what he sewed… but Starlow, on the other hand, was getting quite the raw deal from the Stars. Still, a compliment was a compliment and she didn't complain. This time.

"_Reallllly,"_ confirmed Wisdurm. _"Now, continue what you started, and let the Mario Bros. reenter the outside world. But instead of going after the next Cure, I advise you to come to Bowser's Castle and free the energy host from this icy priiison."_

_So that I'll have Bowser around as an energy reserve in case the Bros. start running low on energy?_

"_Yes, I suppossse. But also because, as I said before, we will need him to destroy the Dark Staaaar. Now, I will stay in heeeere and mind the Toads, so feel free to disconnect your mind until you need Bowser agaaain. Or if you absolutely need to speak to me agaaain: the Preservation Chamber cannot freeze a Star Sage, but it can slow us down, and I will need to preserve MY energy, and will be unable to simply watch over you anymore."_

_Okay,_ said Starlow. _I'll come right over – I'm sure the Mario Bros. will have no trouble sneaking into the castle._

"_That's my giiiiirl,"_ sighed Wisdurm approvingly as she felt Starlow break the mental link and leave the limbo with the Mario Bros. Little did Wisdurm know that Starlow had no intention of freeing Bowser – at least not yet. She might have been on board with the plan, save for one thing.

'_Destroy the Dark Star.'_

Wisdurm had shown her cards with that line. She was still hoping Starlow would confront the Dark Star, and having her and the Bros. trudge all the way over to Bowser's Castle and break open the Preservation Chamber was a great way to slow them down. That's why she wanted them to free Bowser _before_ getting the third Cure, instead of as a last resort. After all, why else would Wisdurm want the hated Dragon-Koopa released any sooner than he absolutely _had_ to be?

Before the mission started, Starlow would have done anything Wisdurm suggested without any reservations. She had trusted her mentor, and her faith in the Stars above was unflappable. But now… she was starting to learn the rules of the game. And rule number one was that everyone lied. Bowser, Wisdurm, Toadbert, Chakron, _everyone_. Including Starlow. She just never thought she'd lie to Wisdurm, or that Wisdurm would lie to her, for that matter. But Starlow had been through and done a lot of things that she never would have dreamed of over the past couple days. It was certainly a learning experience, that's for sure, but with minimal guidance, no books and no time to study.

Like a final exam from hell.


	55. Truth and Lies

Chapter 55: Truth and Lies

Mario and Luigi had no idea that Starlow had delayed their reentry into the world: to them only an uneventful instant had gone by from when they entered the pipe in Bowser's body and exited the one next to the clinic. They continued on inside, noticing the same Toads that had been there first thing that morning were still waiting, but did not stop to dwell on it as the nurse waved them straight in, a strained smile on her face. Toadley had refused to see any patients all day, but he told her to always let the Bros. in, and had even borrowed the medicine-delivery bird to send them a message via crystal ball earlier in the day. Whatever he was up to with them was surely important, but his intern still wished it _hadn't_ coincided with an incurable epidemic.

"Hmmm… It's emerging… Will it emerge? Probably…" muttered Toadley as Mario and Luigi walked up behind him. He had very nearly lost the bead on their energies, far away in Bowser's Castle, but then here they appeared, right as rain. Not Bowser, though: he seemed to have had all but vanished from the face of the world, save for the traces still carried within the plumbers. They were shining with Star energy now too, and Toadley was starting to figure out what was going on. He'd have to test his theory, but first he'd give them what _they_ were looking for, and he turned to address them, jumping on the spot in his anticipatory excitement. "Is this good timing? It is! For you seek wisdom about the three sages, and I have it!"

"You know who the third Sage is?" asked Starlow, calling up her astral projection as Toadley walked around to the back of his desk.

"No. Is his identity well-hidden? It is. But I _do_ know where he can be found," he said as he took his place behind the crystal ball. As an image of an idealistic costal region appeared in the glass, he languidly narrated for the three spectators. "Ocean… Sandy beach… Cliff… Is one of the three sages in this scenery? Indeed he is."

"The ocean… Plack Beach!" ventured Starlow. But she was confused – the second sage, Kuzzle, was the one who lived on the beach, wasn't he?

Toadley was thinking the same thing and stared at Starlow. Clearly, she had missed the last, key word of his vision. "Yes, indeed…" he finally allowed. "Near the ocean, but in a very high place… Does this sage dwell on high where the air is thin? He does."

Starlow got the picture that time, and she picked up on Toadley's dry tone of voice. "I'm sure we'll deal with it!" she said curtly. "Let's get a move on, guys!"

"Ahem… Was I talking? I was," snarked Toadley. "Now, as a doctor, I can't recommend thin-air travel."

"Oh, yeah, right, you're a doctor…" said Starlow, barely keeping the sneer out of her voice. With the identity of the last Star Sage in the bag, it's not like she needed Toadley anymore, and she didn't have to play nicey-nice anymore.

But the Mario Bros. hadn't gotten the memo, and while Luigi noticed a bit of tension between the Star Sprite and the clairvoyant Toad, Mario simply looked at Dr. Toadley expectantly.

"Now, I can permit thin-air travel provided you pass a brief examination." Before Starlow cold protest, Toadley had turned and walked to the back of his room, using a flick of his hand under his robe to whip the curtains apart, revealing another hallway. "This way," he said, turning to face the others as he spoke before spinning on his heel once more and shuffling away.

"We don't have time for this," growled Starlow.

"I'm sure it won't-a take too long," shrugged Mario, moving to follow the doctor.

"Oh yeah, better safe than sorry," nodded Luigi.

"But, but we already know you guys are the picture of health!" exclaimed Starlow.

"Clearly you haven't seen-a Mario without his shirt on," grinned Luigi.

"Nor has she seen that-a nasty bruise on your arm," added Mario, sidling up next to his brother.

"What br- OW!"

Luigi was still rubbing his arm when he and Mario reached Toadley's examination room, but the sight of the machine made him forget all about the new bruise and he and Mario hurried forward.

"Does this machine measure inhalation and exhalation levels? There can be no doubt it does," lied Toadley. "Now then, Mario, step over here." The first brother stepped forward and took his place in front of a tube sticking out of a pink-striped module attached to the massive machine that seemed to make up the entire back wall of the room. "OK, inhale gently… Are you ready?" Mario leaned forward and put his lips right next to the tube, looking at Toadley out of the corner of his eye and nodding. The doctor held up a hand and counted down from five with his fingers. "OK, exhale." Mario did as he was told and the display panel of the machine flared red. "Yes, OK," nodded Toadley, glad his veil hid the grin plastered on his face.

The machine wasn't _really_ meant to measure breathing levels. That'd be stupid. Instead, it was actually a magic sensor, good for any type of being, including animate objects like Bob-Ombs and more relevantly, ghosts. Ghosts like Mario, although Toadley's crystal ball told him the plumber was very much alive. It was intriguing, and with another unseen hand gesture, the Toad mage changed the settings of the machine. He had answered the question of _what_ the Mario Bros. were, but not the questions of why or how they had taken this form. He suspected it was because they had somehow been merged with Bowser on a magiphysical plane of some sort, and he hoped his machine could detect more precisely that which he had already guessed and gleaned with his crystal ball.

"Do you have incredible lung control? You certainly do," he told Mario, keeping up his end of the little game they were playing. "You should have no trouble staying alert at high altitudes. Now then, Luigi is next. Step over here, please."

As the Mario Bros. changed position, Starlow started to get antsy. There was something fishy going on: she didn't know exactly what happened, but she was pretty sure the machine had taken an energy reading, not a breath strength reading. If Toadley was hoping to pull the same stunt twice, he had another thing coming, and she focused hard on protecting Luigi's energy, still hidden from the prying eyes of the doctor, having long since dismissed her energy ghost with an eye roll over Mario and Luigi's boisterous brother antics back in the hallway.

"OK, inhale gently… Are you ready?" instructed Toadley as Luigi leaned into the module, but he frowned at the result he got from Luigi's exhale. "Hmm… Not good… One more time…" Something was blocking the energy – and he suspected it was Starlow. Another clandestine hand movement cranked the machine up to its highest levels of sensitivity. Toadley knew there would probably be some feedback into the clinic's power grid, but he didn't care. He _had_ to get his answers. He counted down with his fingers again and commanded Luigi, "Strong exhale!"

Luigi took it to heart and clamped his mouth straight onto the energy collector, channeling the likes of a powerful firespitter like Bowser as he emptied his lungs with as much force as he could muster. Starlow was taken aback by just how forceful his will was, and the surplus of power she had harvested from Bowser wasn't the easiest thing to manage, so despite her best efforts, a few wisps of energy broke free. The machine flared to life again, the screen glowing a sustained red hue while alarms went off and the pipes near the ceiling started venting air.

Just as Toadley predicted, the machine had managed to pick up an energy signal, amplifying enough to get a clear reading – and burn out some of the clinic's computer systems at the same time.

"Doctor! Code red! The air vents are going haywire!" cried the nurse, running into the back room in a panic while Toadley excitedly hopped about in front of his machine. He didn't even turn to acknowledge her, and she raced back out as soon as she came, leaving him to his confounded curiosities. Unlike the intern, Toadley didn't care at all about the damage or commotion as he ecstatically read the rapid fire readouts. _Of course! Complications from hammerspace energy – why didn't __I__ think of that?_ Because it was unheard of, that's why, but the experienced mage knew that when Stars got involved, the unfathomable often became fathomable.

Of course, the Stars didn't appreciate it when mortals got too clever, and Toadley knew better than to expose little Starlow's elaborate hoax. Instead, he stuck to the cover story and forced himself to turn away from the machine and address the confused and bewildered Luigi. "Ah, my breath inspector's exhaust pipe funnels into the ventilation system! This machine's malfunction blew out the whole air grid! Anyway, will Luigi have any high-altitude problems? No. If anything, his exhalation power is way too strong!" Itching to get back to his data, Toadley decided to wrap it up. "Should you two head for Plack Beach? You should. And should I fix this infernal machine? I probably should."

He then hurried back to one of the side displays, while behind him Mario shrugged at Luigi. While the man in green still felt a bit guilty about damaging the clinic, he supposed there was nothing he could do about it at this point and fell in step with his brother. But when they got to the lobby, they discovered another commotion underway.

"Birdley! Calm yourself! Come down from there! It's just AIR! You don't need to get so worked up about it!" called the nurse, exasperatedly looking up at the bird circling the room on high.

"FYI! FYI! FYI! FYI! FYI! FYI! FYI! FYI! Birdley fed up! Birdley go home! Birdley on strike! Birdley overworked!" screamed the little creature.

The nurse sighed, but catching sight of the Mario Bros. in the doorway, she got an idea. "Oh, Mario and Luigi! Can you catch Birdley?! He locked the exit door and took the key! Now I can't get out to find the vent repairman!"

Mario and Luigi looked up at the bird – even they couldn't jump _quite_ that high. But he was over a second ceiling that hung above the reception desk and the medicine cabinets, and hoping there was a way to get up there, they circled around the desk. Mario grinned, winking at Luigi as he caught sight of one of the busted pipes spewing out air at ground level.

As the nurse came over to them, Mario stuck his face in the pipe and Starlow quickly enacted the illusion of the strange makeshift 'power-up' he was expecting.

"What are you doing Mr. Mario?" gasped Dr. Toadley's intern as she watched Mario swell up and start to float. "Good gracious! You ballooned! Fascinating! Perhaps… Mr. Luigi! Try jumping!" Luigi had been holding onto Mario to keep him from floating away before they were ready, but at the nurse's prompting, he jumped, being carried high into the air by Mario's buoyancy. "Look at that vertical leap!" exclaimed the nurse. Once Luigi and Mario floated back down to the ground, however, she started to worry a little. "But… How do we reverse your condition?"

Mario smiled and exhaled, letting his magically augmented breath out and returning to normal. The nurse sighed as Luigi deposited his brother back on the ground in front of him. "Ah, yes." She should have known they were on top of things: they _were_ the Mario Bros., after all, and had probably done that before, but either way, it was a lucky break that they could do it at the clinic right then and there. "What a wonderful find! This condition will help you catch Birdley!"

The Bros. nodded and Mario walked back over to the pipe. He had initially planned on simply floating up himself, but he had to admit, the going was a lot faster with Luigi propelling them with his jumping. In a single bound, the landed on the lower ceiling and Mario spat out the extra air, the two of them lunging across the tiling at Birdley, snatching him on their first go.

The nurse beamed up at them, watching as they jumped down next to her. "Mr. Mario and Mr. Luigi, thank you so much." She said, taking the digital lock from Mario. Birdley had been holding it in his claws but relinquished it as soon as he had been captured. The intern made a face at him as he glared at her, held secure by Mario's arms. Still, she supposed no harm was done, but as she hit the button on the device to unlock the door, although part of her wondered if perhaps making the clinic fully state-of-the-art had been a mistake. Between the ventilation system and the hostage-taking songbird, it hadn't been a very good technology day.

She sighed and looked back up at the humans. "Your balloon condition is fascinating. No doubt it will help you reach great heights. If you find any air vents in your travels, I recommend using them to balloon up! I believe your next destination is Plack Beach, correct?" While Toadley had implied he was figuring out the third sage's location just as the Bros. arrived, he had actually figured it out about an hour before they got in, and had bragged about it to his intern. It was a point of pride for the overworked Toad that the doctor included her in one of his magical accomplishments, and she couldn't help but show off her insider knowledge. "If that's the case," she continued, "then go south from Blubble Lake. Good luck gathering those Star Cures, you two!"

But as she reached forward to take back Birdley, the little creature started to struggle and broke free. "FYI! FYI!"

"Birdley! You little scamp, what now?" she sighed as he hovered off to the side. "Come here, you!"

But rather than do as he was told, the bird dived back to Mario, wriggling his tiny body between Mario's overall and his red shirt. "Overalls warm! Birdley comfy! Birdley nesting!" came his muffled voice.

Mario blinked in confusion, but then smiled.

The nurse's own smile was more bemused than warm, but with the ventilation system still going haywire, she couldn't afford to keep arguing with Birdley – and she knew that if she pried him away from his new friend, he would go out of his way to be a pain for the rest of the afternoon. "Looks like you have a… tenant!" she said, before hastily adding, "But he can help! Birdley, you help show Mario the way, OK?"

"Birdley got it! Birdley guides!" chirped the bird.

The intern smiled sheepishly at the Bros. "Sorry, Mr. Mario… Take care of our Birdley, OK?"

Mario jumped affirmatively. He didn't actually mind having Birdley tagging along.

Starlow, on the other hand, had mixed feelings. On the one hand, having a living being nested within a projection actually made it easier to make it corporeal – but unlike regular species using light powers to create holographic duplicates, Starlow was packing enough energy to do it _without_ assistance. She wasn't thrilled that the bird was Toadley's, either, and she wondered if the crystal strapped to his breast could pick up on more than regular amount of thermal energy that Starlow let radiate out from the energy ghosts as part of the illusion of life.

But with an inward sigh, like the nurse, Starlow decided to take the path of least resistance and let Birdley tag along. For now. While she didn't want to waste time arguing, she also didn't want to waste time on account of the bird, and at the first sign of trouble, she'd simply ask Mario to send the bird flying home. It was already four in the afternoon, and the clock was ticking.


	56. Betrayal II

**A/N****: Just imagine the extra dialogue in this and other chapters happens offscreen in the games – when the characters go between different areas. Of course, sometimes I just have to add stuff and change details from the games, but only ever as a last resort to make things work. Also, until now, I've had Starlow's half of the psychic conversations without quotation marks, but I've since changed my mind on the matter and from now on, will have quotation marks on all the stuff she's projecting to other Stars (so only actual private thoughts remain un-quoted). When I'm done the story and go through for the final proofread, I'll fix all the old chapters, but for now, just bear with me through this style change.**

Chapter 56: Betrayal II

Starlow soon regretted not putting her foot down about Birdley. While the Mario Bros. moved fast and even used a couple Warp Pipes to get all the way from Toad Town to Plack Beach in well under an hour, they were heckled almost all the way by Birdley and Toadley. Whether it was the bird squawking directions they already knew or Toadley using the crystal ball to urge the Bros. onwards, by the time they reached the foot of the cliff in the doctor's vision, they had just about enough. In the end, Starlow didn't even need to tell Mario to ditch the bird, for as soon as they reached the base of the cliff, he reached into his overalls and pulled out their guide, thanked him for getting there and then made up some story about the Sages being snooty and how it'd be better off if he, Luigi and Starlow went on alone.

Turns out even Mario lies, but everyone in the group agreed it was the white variety as Birdley finally fluttered away.

"Luigi, remind me to say 'no' next time a cute little creature asks to-a use me as a nest."

Luigi snickered. "Sure thing, Bro. What is it with you and-a animals anyway?"

"I don't know, You'd-a think I would've learned after the whole-a rabbit thing."

As the brothers bantered and continued through the lowlands, battling Drillbit Crabs and Pendrils as they went, Starlow was assessing the mountain that now towered over them. When Toadley said 'cliff', she thought he had just meant a sheer cliff along the shore or something to that extent. But not a whole mountain. Sure, she had seen it slowly getting closer and closer as the Bros. headed southeast from Toad Town, but she figured they'd just go by it. And even as the Bros. started their ascent, she kept figuring they'd reach a plateau and find the Sage, but instead they just kept going higher and higher. The Sage didn't live atop a cliff, he lived atop a mountain, and while part of Starlow took smug satisfaction in Toadley being off the mark again, another part told her that the mountaintop scenario was familiar to her.

She thought back to the beach. When the Bros. turned inland from the ocean, they had passed between two odd statues, but they were all getting so frazzled by their feathery 'guide', neither Starlow nor the Bros. took the time to assess the designs more closely. Now Starlow wished she had: perhaps they provided a clue as to who the next Sage was.

But as the air grew thinner, the clouds started to pass below the ridges that the Bros. were navigating, and stars started to twinkle through the daytime sky, Starlow had a feeling she already knew who the final Sage was.

The Bros. were in the final stretch now – they had to be, because they had reached the top of the mountain. Only a narrow spire remained, stretching even higher, and when it finally leveled off, Mario and Luigi found themselves passing by a whole set of statues even stranger than the ones down on the beach. At least those ones had been complete figures – these ones were just piles of heads. But the Sage himself wasn't just a head. Nor was he a living Block or a giant insect.

In fact, Starlow and the Bros. didn't quite know _what_ he was. Some sort of octopus, perhaps? He _did_ have four arms and four legs, all contorted into some strange meditative post. It almost like he was doing a pirouette, with both his right legs on the ground and both let legs raised, one pair of arms looped over his head and placed palm-together on his crown, while the last pair of limbs were in a praying position in front of him. His head itself was also something different, being purple while the rest of him was red, with a vaguely Birdo-like mouth, large staring eyes and a yellow star emblazoned on his forehead. Looking at his forehead, the Bros. knew they had found the person they were looking for, but it wasn't until he spoke that Starlow knew who he was.

"The mists of consciousness part, and two figures emerge."

The last Star Sage was Chakron.

"_YOU have the last Star Cure?"_

"_You sound surprised,"_ and Chakron sounded amused, before speaking his next word aloud. "Why?" And to Starlow adding, _"I told you I was a Star Sage, did I not?"_

"_Yeah, but I just thought you might be, y'know, an extra one just hanging out in the same area… You did say you've been out of the loop for a while."_

"_Yes, but the Dark Star has been asleep for a while."_ Chakron then turned his attention back to Mario and Luigi. _"_In this place, Chakron meditates on the nature of all. It is Chakron's special place. And outsiders who disturb the mental peace are not welcome."

"_Umm, Chakron, what are you doing? 'Not welcome'? You're on my side, remember? Oh wait, I get it, you want me to make a show of it for the brothers' sake – okay, I can do that."_ Starlow called up her energy ghost and appeared alongside the Bros. "We didn't mean to disturb you. We heard you have a Star Cure, and we really need it!"

"You are a very strange being. Popping out of nowhere. Odd."

Starlow blinked in confusion, but she supposed if that's how he was going to play it, so be it. She'd get the Cure faster by playing along rather than arguing with the Sage, who was apparently as odd in appearance as he was in personality. No wonder he lived by himself up on a mountain, stuck halfway between the starry heavens and the moral earth. "If we don't get all three Star Cures, the kingdom is doomed! There's just one left! We need to find it any cost!"

"The universe frowns upon such begging." Responded Chakron disdainfully.

"_What, did I overdo it?"_ frowned Starlow, but for some reason, Chakron wasn't answering her one-on-one.

"It scoffs at your wish. Besides, allow me to enlighten you to something: I am busy. I am afraid you must go."

Mario looked from the visibly and peculiarly perplexed Starlow, to Luigi, who was trying to imitate the Sage's pose, to the impassive Stage himself. "Busy with-a what? You're just-a standing there," he observed.

"What am I busy with?" snorted Chakron as Luigi fell over off to the side. "Can you not tell? Truly? Look up."

The three looked up, Luigi once again on his feet. The Stars in the sky were pretty, to be sure, but that didn't answer Mario's question and the Bros. looked back at Chakron in confusion. Starlow's confusion ran a lot deeper: what was he playing at? Did he have a split personality or something? Had he decided to turn on her like Wisdurm? Betray her like Bowser's minions had forsaken him?

"You look at the sky and this pose and still do not know? You are unenlightened. That is why you are in a cosmic pickle." Chakron sighed, although Starlow knew he wasn't surprised. Just hamming it up. She really hoped that's all this was – a chance to have some fun with the first strangers who came his way in who knows how long. "This pose absorbs waves from the deep parts of outer space," continued Chakron. "The waves crash upon my mind's shore. I am a mental beach. With the power of outer space upon me, I can do anything. Of late, large waves have rolled in, and wisdom surfs upon them. My brain hangs ten. And how long have I surfed? A thousand years. A thousand."

Starlow suppressed a snort. She vaguely recalling him saying he had been alive for hundreds of years or something like that, but she had figured he was bluffing – some of the seven Star Spirits weren't even that old. Now he was trying to say he had not only been alive but _immobile_ for a millennium? Yeah right. But Starlow knew better than to call him out, and feigning amazement, she continued to play her part in the show. "A thousand years?! Why don't you take a break already?! Everyone needs breaks!" As she spoke, Mario and Luigi walked right up to Chakron, and to her horror, Luigi even started poking at him. _Not_ how you treat a Star Sage – even one as quirky as Chakron, but he didn't even bat an eye at the brothers' antics.

"In truth…I would enjoy that. Meditation does grow tiresome. But breaking out of my state of perfect balance will be hard. A thousand-year balance… My body rhythm is like stone. If you somehow found a way to break such an impenetrable rhythm, the Star Cure…is yours."

"_Wait a minute, you're gonna test us? After helping me get through Wisdurm's stupid trials, now YOU'RE gonna make us jump through hoops!? What gives?"_

"_What indeed…"_ murmured Chakron to Starlow, before snorting derisively as Luigi started tickling at his sides and knees. "No. Do not be childish. Tickling and poking do nothing. This balance can only be upset by some sort of POW! Some sort of drastic event."

Starlow was mortified enough by Luigi's actions, and struggled to suppress a horrified squeak as Mario pulled out his hammer, breathing a sigh of relief when he merely used it to smack the ground, rather than the Sage himself.

"Nothing! I feel nothing!" cried Chakron, remaining perfectly still, but it was clear to Starlow that he was quite enjoying himself.

"_Okay, this is getting silly,"_ she growled. _"I thought you're the one who wants me to get the Cures fast! Why are you being so difficult? Wisdurm hasn't gotten to you, has she? She can be pretty persuasive sometimes…"_

"You are truly unenlightened to believe in such antics." Chakron said to the Bros., before finally turning his full attention back to Starlow. _"No, unlike you, I know not to listen to Wisdurm."_

"_Whu- But, but I DIDN'T listen to her too! I mean, neither, I mean, either, I mean… Ugh, you know what I mean!"_

"_Of course. You mean coming here first instead of fetching the Dragon-Koopa from the deep freeze as she instructed."_

"_Yeah, because I figured she was using him as another stalling tactic. But I agree with YOU – the Dark Star should stay sleeping."_

"_You do not agree. You're just frightened of the hurricane on the horizon."_

"_OF COURSE I AM! Isn't that a good thing? Aren't I supposed to be scared of the Dark Star? Aren't you scared of it?"_

Chakron snorted. _"There are many things that one is and is not supposed to be. And those things change depending on who you ask. What I think you are supposed to be, and what Wisdurm thinks you are supposed to be, and what Bowser thinks you are, and what the Mario Bros. here think you are… No two are the same."_

"_What are you-"_

"_The REAL question is, what are you supposed to be according to YOU?"_

"_You mean… what is my… true self?"_

"_Perhaps. Perhaps not."_

"_I… but… buuuut what does this have to do with ANYTHING?"_ Starlow seethed. Chakron was good, she had to admit it. Nearly getting her all confused and off-topic – he was as good at stalling and dodging around questions as Wisdurm when he wanted to be. But Starlow was getting sick of the dance. _"Why are you doing this? Are you worried I AM going to have to face the Dark Star? Is time running out?!"_

"_Time is always running, but it never stops, you know. It never goes anywhere. It never runs 'out'."_

"_YES IT DOES!"_ with a frustrated snarl, Starlow cut off the mental link with Chakron. If time _was_ running out, the last thing she should be doing is arguing with another hypocritical Star Sage. If he wanted to test the Mario Bros. to see if they'd have what it takes if push came to shove, she'd give him a test all right. "Wow! He's a rock!" she exclaimed, the malice in her voice taking the Bros. by surprise, but she was too angry to keep a perfect visage this time. "Mario! Luigi! He wants a POW! Do your best attack and take him down!"

The Bros. nodded and backed away from Chakron, Luigi pulling out his hammer like Mario. The two then charged, leaping into the air and coming down hard, but a sparkling blue forcefield blocked them from hitting their mark. They bounced off the energy barrier and hit the ground, their boots kicking up dust as they lunged once more, swinging their hammers with as much force as they could muster. But their efforts were in vain: Starlow could tell already that Chakron wasn't going to let them topple him as he wavered around in place, barely even blinking as the plumbers' attacks clashed with his forcefield. But as strong as Starlow's energy ghosts were, Chakron was stronger, and heaving a sigh, he called off the farce of a battle.

"Nothing! I feel nothing! Not even close. Not a wiggle. Not a single astral shimmy. Unless you have an attack that shakes the ground, give it up."

"'_Give it up'? What are you SAYING? Why are you doing this?"_

"_If you were enlightened, you would have the answer, not the question."_

Starlow sighed, wracking her brain for the answer. Perhaps he wanted her to find something in addition to the Star Cure? Another source of power to supplement the mystical artifact? "A ground-shaking attack…" she mused aloud, staring at Chakron. "Where would we find an attack like that, I wonder…"

He returned her gaze, his eyes cold and calculating. No, not calculating. Judging. Judging her. Starlow's frustration bubbled over had been keeping his tone neutral as always, but she got the distinct impression he was mad at her, and she was done with beating around the bush with this last Star Sage. _"Look, is it something I did? I'll tell you what I told Wisdurm: I'm sorry! Don't take it out on Mario and Luigi, PLEASE!"_

Again, Starlow heard Chakron sigh over their mental connection. _"Wisdurm was not punishing you when you apologized."_

"_But YOU are? Hmmm?"_

Chakron didn't answer. At least, he didn't answer _that_ question, instead speaking aloud, addressing the rhetorical comment Starlow had made before. "Well. Then here shall I remain, immobile."

Mario and Luigi exchanged looks. Perhaps if they found a Mega Mushroom, they could return and simply smash apart Chakron's walkway to heaven – that'd get him moving. Looking up at Starlow they turned to go, but she wasn't done with Chakron yet and linked up once more in desperation.

"_Please! You're right – I'm not enlightened! I don't know what you want me to do! I don't know what you want me to say! I- I just don't know!"_ Starlow felt a hot, prickling sensation behind her eyes and hurriedly dismissed her astral projection. She barely knew Chakron, but his betrayal, so soon after Wisdurm proved untrustworthy, was the straw that broke the camel's back: how could she show them her mettle if they were all out to get her? Hiding the truth, making things hard, filling her head with conflicting lessons about superiority and enlightenment and lying and listening and thinking and-

And Bowser. If she had hands, she would have slapped herself. Of _course_ that's what Chakron was angry about. "_You ARE punishing me! You're mad that I went through Bowser's memories! Aren't you?"_

No answer.

"_Look, I'm sorry, okay? ….I mean it, I really am… sorry…" _The prickling was back, this time in Starlow's metaphorical throat as she struggled to keep her mental voice steady. "_I was just curious, but once I was in there… I dunno… I guess I just figured it'd be all fire and brimstone and bias, but… some of it was… kinda sad, actually. And Bowser's such a jerk, you just know he'd HATE it if he knew I knew about 'em. I mean, I know __I__ wouldn't want someone in MY memories… I guess it just seemed a bit… not right. Wisdurm said it was fine but… I dunno, I guess I just… kinda feel…"_

Guilty. She felt guilty. She wasn't even thinking about how unfortunate it was that taking an uninvited stroll down Bowser's memory lane had turned the Koopa-sympathetic Chakron against her. She was just thinking about the Koopa, now that she had finally been forced to address what had been nagging at her conscience. All the lies, all the using. She played the game and she was getting good, but she hated it, and she'd be lying to herself if she said she didn't.

"The wood."

As always, Starlow's mental interaction with the Sage took place in only a moment, and by the time Chakron finally spoke, Mario and Luigi had only gone a few steps. Surprised, they turned around at the sound of his voice. Starlow was surprised too.

"Oh. I said that out loud, did I?" continued Chakron, who had quite deliberately said it out loud. "I suppose that is OK. The attack is in the wood."

He was helping them again? Giving them a clue to go to Dimble Wood? Why? "How do you know?" she asked as she appeared between the Mario Bros., her query both for her companions' benefit, and as a substitute for the confused questions buzzing through her head.

Chakron knew she had questions, but he knew she had answers too. "There is nothing that outer space knows not. You hear a lot if you listen for a thousand years," was all he said, before shifting to a more forceful tone. "Time for you to perambulate. The wood. Yes. The wood."

Starlow got the hint, and disappeared again as the Bros. turned away from Chakron for the second time. Had he taken pity on her melancholy moment, like how he had taken pity on Bowser, alone and powerless on the shoals of Cavi Cape? Usually she would have chafed at the thought, or pried for a better answer than the one that came to mind, but the hint was far from a full pardon, and she didn't want to push her luck. Wisdurm was going to be mad enough when she found out Starlow went after the third Cure first – she didn't need Chakron fuming at her too.

Once the ghosts were out of sight, Chakron sighed and unwrapped his arms from his head, planting all four of his legs on his ground as he crossed the arms that had been in the praying position. He sauntered over to the edge of his platform, peering around one of the statues to watch as the Mario Bros. made their way to a Warp Pipe that would take them to the bottom of the mountain. Of course he could move – he could leave the mountaintop any time he wanted, especially since he had mastered the art of pipe-less warping.

But that was the thing: he didn't _want_ to leave. He was happy spending his years in seclusion, meditating in various positions and soaking up the energy from the distant stars and the center of the universe, where all magic stemmed from. He liked the knowledge that came with the cosmic echoes of power and life; he liked the quiet up on his cliff, above the noise of the moral world and below the calculated hissings of the Star World, far from the wishes and plots and hopes and dreams of everyone he felt nothing for. His real friends, he knew, would come and visit him, and besides them, the only folks Chakron cared to interact with were the occasional lost and lonely souls in need of transport. He wasn't detached to the point of cruelty after all.

Still, the only reason he had let himself get so _deeply_ drawn into current events was the threat of the Dark Star. Under normal circumstances, he would have just helped stabilize Bowser's energy and granted him access to the Chakroads until he got his castle back, knowing the Stars monitoring Starlow's test wouldn't appreciate him giving the hated Dragon-Koopa free rides. It wasn't until Wisdurm contacted him that he realized what was _really_ going on: the Stars had gotten wind of Fawful's plan to awaken the Dark Star, and like idiots, decided it'd be the perfect opportunity for a test. Wisdurm wouldn't let him convince her otherwise, and the fools upstairs _never_ listened, and so here he found himself acting as a second mentor to young Starlow.

Chakron had laughed at Broque when he found out his old friend had taken a student all those years ago; he had snorted and said 'no' when the Block man said 'Durmite' wanted to meet him too. Chakron didn't feel like wasting his time with Star games then and he didn't want to now. Wisdurm had the typical Stars-have-right-of-way attitude, and Starlow was the same. At least, she had been the same at first. It was surprising how fast she was growing, actually, although Chakron knew first-hand how incredible circumstances could cause incredible changes in people. Starlow still had her temper and she still needed help, but as the hits kept coming, she had started to learn how to weather them on her own; she was learning to not put so much faith in the Stars, and Chakron hoped his harsh actions just then had helped drive the point home.

But that's not what gave Chakron hope for the girl. No, he hadn't forgotten her moment of weakness under the Tower of Yikk, and he still didn't think she was capable of destroying the Dark Star. But he _did_ think she had the makings of a good Star Sage, with more time and only if she kept on the path she had just started down, of course. Yes, Chakron remembered what she had been like only 24 hours previously, scoffing and saying it was good if Bowser's lifespan was shortened by a decade as a result of his run-in with his flying fortress. Chakron remembered what she had been like six hours previously, apologizing for wasting time and saying she'd focus on the big picture after she got Bowser crushed by the Tower of Yikk. And then he thought of what she was like minutes before, wracked with guilt for using Bowser once more, for trespassing in his memories and abusing his trust with her cavalier Star attitude.

Broque had once lamented to Chakron at how he had been unable to teach his pupil to look beyond the bias of dark and light and learn to treat people as equals, rather than chess pieces to use, treat, vex or protect. 'Durmite' had been too old, too set in her ways by the time he got to her. But Starlow was young; the only reason she had been put up for Sagehood so quickly was because they had needed a replacement for Kuzzle after he decided he had had enough of it and let Bowser make off with his Cure.

It was ironic how the reason for Starlow's test and the means for her test were one and the same – a cosmic joke at Bowser's expense. But it could be worse – Starlow was a little punk, but she had a heart too, and she wasn't so jaded for it to be completely closed off. To her credit, she had always put the Mario Bros., Peach and even the Toads ahead of her, but now she was even starting to look at the Dragon-Koopa as more than an expendable ball of energy. Slowly, she was coming around, and for that, Chakron rewarded her with a hint.

Not that she needed it, of course: Chakron still wanted her to make short work of the detour, after all, and had made arrangements to that end. But he was glad to see that she was sorry, not for the trouble she got herself in, but for what she did to _Bowser_, and he had wanted her to know that – he wanted to encourage that enlightenment.


End file.
